“I’m sorry you felt that way,” she said. “That’s why I’m here. I thought maybe if we were in your office, we’d be able to have a conversation instead of an argument.”
He gave her a half smile. “Not a bad idea. I’m glad to see you.”
She smiled in return.
“And apparently, so is my boss.”
“I’d forgotten how much I liked him!”
“So much so that you committed us to attending the cocktail party tonight?”
She gave a small shrug. “Wouldn’t you like to go?”
“Now that you want to, I do.”
“I want to be in your world, Jack,” she admitted. “Not just married to it.”
A lump formed in his throat. I know, baby…I know.
A silence fell between them.
“Well, I’m going to go,” she said.
“You’re not staying? We could order lunch.”
“I have some things I need to do before tonight.” She turned for the door and rested a hand on the knob. “See you at home.”
He sat down, thanking God for multiple second chances.
Chapter Six
Grace had to admit she was nervous about the party that night as they drove to the Four Seasons. It had been over a year since she’d socialized with any of Jack’s company associates and she wondered if any of them knew about their separation. After all, he’d been living in a corporate apartment for months. Added to her frequent absences to gatherings like these, at least one or two of them had to know Jack had moved out. Suddenly, she felt queasy.
“What’s wrong?” Jack asked. He must’ve sensed her tension.
She decided to be honest about her reservations. “I’m wondering how many people know about us. About you moving out.”
“No one knows,” he told her. “I went through a third party for the apartment. I’m paying for it myself.”
“Oh.” Partly relieved, she began to relax.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he said.
She smiled, her stomach fluttering. She’d worn a black sheath dress, her long hair straightened and tucked behind her ears, with the small diamond studs he’d given her on her birthday. “Thank you.”
The cocktail party wasn’t nearly as nerve-racking as Grace had envisioned it would be. It was held in the beautiful hotel bar with a piano player in the corner. Everyone greeted Jack with smiles and was delighted to see he had brought his wife this time.
Mr. Hughes was happy to see them, but eventually steered Jack to the men’s group, then took Grace aside. “Would you mind terribly if I threw you to the wolves so your husband and I can discuss a problem we’re having in the Phoenix branch?”
“The wolves?” Grace laughed softly. “That’s not very encouraging. Or appealing, Walter.”
He gave her a wink. “You can handle them.” He escorted her to a group of three women, one of whom Grace recognized as the vice president’s wife.
As soon as Mr. Hughes introduced her, they welcomed her kindly, though they didn’t seem all that genuine.
“Jack Crandall’s wife,” one of them mused after the old man departed. “I was beginning to believe you didn’t exist.” She snorted, then laughed at her own joke before taking a sip of wine.
Not that Grace could blame her for saying so. “I know. I’ve been so busy with work it’s hard for me to get away.”
“Oh, sweetie, I have two children and volunteer forty hours a week,” said Regina, wife of the vice president. “If I can find the time, you can.”
Sigh. She hated playing these verbal games. Though, admittedly, the attitudes weren’t something she wasn’t already used to. If she could handle Hollywood royalty, she could handle anyone. “I envy how you manage all of it. You have two children, that’s wonderful.”
“How many do children do you have?” asked the youngest of the group, Alyson.
Oh, no. Here it comes. “None. It’s just me and Jack.”
“Oh? Why not?”
They all looked eager to know the answer. Grace decided to hand out the rehearsed reason she always gave in these situations. “We have a few things we want to do before we start a family. Not in a rush.”
“Ha. No rush for him, maybe.” Regina reached out and placed her ice-cold hand on Grace’s forearm, with a frigid smile to match. “No offense, hun. You’re very pretty, but you’re not getting any younger. Watch out, or he could replace you with some young coed just when you’re ready to get pregnant.”
Sweetie. Hun. How it grated on her nerves when women called her pet names when they hardly knew her.
“Did you see Lorraine’s ring?” Karen chimed in, changing the subject. “Roger added another diamond to the setting.”
“Probably because he added another mistress to his list,” said Alyson.
“Speaking of diamonds, why don’t you wear your engagement ring, Grace?”
“Jack never gave me one,” she said, to their blatant shock. “But I’m happy with the band. I like simplicity.”
She might as well have said she liked snorting cocaine on dirty toilet seats, from the way they looked at her. Now she remembered why she loathed these gatherings. Someone save me.
Moments later, as if God heard her cry, Jack was at her side. “Hello, ladies. Would you excuse us?”
They stepped away. Grace couldn’t have been more grateful. She squeezed his biceps in appreciation, noting the hard muscle…. No. Best to forget all that hard-body stuff. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” he said, smiling down at her. “You know, you have an awful poker face. You looked like you were standing in front of a firing squad.”
“It’s that obvious? I’m sorry. This is why I’m not an actress.”
He chuckled. “Here. I want to introduce you to Tori and Ellen.”
Grace suppressed a whine. She’d talk to anyone if it made Jack happy. “Bring them on.”
He smiled down at her in appreciation. “This way, soldier.”
They approached a group of couples as Grace plastered on an amenable expression.
There was Stanley, one of the company’s accountants, and his wife Tori, who managed a salon in Laguna Beach. Grace instantly liked her. Then there was Ellen, a project manager, and her fiancé Mike, who never let each other finish their sentences. Adorable to watch. Doug and his wife Lisa both worked at the company and apparently, had been the center of attention with their not-so-secret office affair last year, which was the discussion of the moment.
“Lisa put on a pretty good act,” said Stanley. “It was Doug who couldn’t keep from tripping over himself whenever she was around.”
“No way,” Doug interjected, putting a finger to his chest. “I was the cool one.”
“Yeah,” Ellen added sarcastically, “sooo cool hogging doughnuts for her and winking at everything she said.”
Lisa laughed and then lifted her glass slightly to Grace. “How did you two meet?”
Jack and Grace looked at each other. Everyone laughed as they both gave “Um” and “Well” responses.
“Must be good,” Tori said. “Do you two need to huddle to make sure you have your stories straight?”
Grace smiled, shaking her head. “No. It’s just….it’s kind of a silly story.”
“Tell it anyway!” Lisa said.
Jack touched his elbow to hers. “Go on. Tell them.”
Grace could feel the blush climbing up her cheeks. “It’s not very appropriate….”
“Oh now you have to tell us,” Tori said.
“Okay.” She took a sip of wine. Everyone was looking at her with such avid interest and she had to admit it would be fun telling the story all over again. “A girlfriend of mine was having her bachelorette party. One of the girls came up with a game for us to play once we got to a bar. We chose a bar near Huntington Beach called Smoke and Mirrors, because they played the best dancing music and the crowd is a good mix. So the game was, the bride had to pick a challenge out of a hat and if she didn’t want t
o do it, she had to appoint one of her bridesmaids to.”
“So the bride picked you, obviously,” said Ellen.
Grace nodded with a smile. “I couldn’t say no.”
“What was the challenge?” Tori asked.
Grace gave a playfully dramatic groan. “Oh, I had to kiss the next single guy to walk in the door.”
The ladies of the group giggled, already anticipating how the story would end while their respective significant others gave amused nods and winks to Jack.
“And she probably had one or two martinis backing her up,” Jack added.
She gently nudged him in the ribs. “So, we’re all watching the door. My heart is pounding. It was almost like time was moving in slow motion because who knew who was going to walk through that door!”
Tori nodded as she shot out a hand to Grace. “He could’ve had fish lips.”
“Or old enough to be your grandfather,” Lisa added.
“Or someone’s boyfriend,” Ellen said with a raised brow.
“Exactly,” Grace said. “I’m mentally and physically crossing all fingers, and it felt like forever since anyone walked through the door. The girls are standing behind me, laughing, cracking jokes, making me even more nervous. Finally—”
“I walked in,” Jack interjected. “Minding my own business. Had a hell of a day. Told the cab driver to take me to the first bar that came to mind because I had just lost a client and all I wanted was one drink. I walk in, barely stepped in the place, and this woman walks up, grabs my jacket, and kisses me.”
The group laughed, enjoying the story.
“I couldn’t help it!” Grace exclaimed. “I was so relieved—lucky—that it was Jack who walked through the door I just sort of threw myself on him. He was handsome, no wedding ring on his finger, and totally caught off guard.” She slid him a glance. “I’ll never forget the look on your face.”
“Right. You kissed me, then pretended to dust lint off my shoulder and said—”
“Good stuff! Thanks, yuppie.” Grace smiled as everyone chuckled and laughed.
“What happened after that?” Mike asked.
Jack rocked back on his heels. “I, uh, had my drink, put my number on a napkin and gave it to the bartender to pass along.”
“Then you called him and the rest is history?” Tori said with a grin.
There was a little more to it than that but Grace took Jack’s cue and finished the story. “The rest is history.”
They exchanged looks. Jack’s hand was at her back and his fingers traced a small circle between her shoulder blades, making her recall every detail of that night. Goose bumps scattered along her skin, and her grip on the wineglass tightened. She hoped no one would notice her fierce reaction. He knew what touching her like that did to her…or rather, what it undid inside of her.
“Excuse me. Ladies’ room calls.” She smiled politely and made her way to the restroom outside of the lobby, Jack’s gaze burning a hole in her dress.
Once inside, she set the glass down on the vanity and fanned herself, appalled at the flush on her cheeks, the telltale sign she could never hide. It irritated her how plainly he could witness his effect on her.
After a couple of minutes, she reentered the party, seeing Jack had been pulled into yet another crush of male associates. She took the time to sample some cheese and fruit offered by the bar. Although it had been somewhat fun to share their story with new friends, it only reminded her they were nowhere near the couple they used to be. They used to play. They used to laugh. They used to tell each other things.
“Are you as bored as I am?” Jack’s voice warmed her instantly and sent chills over her body at the same time.
He must have been watching her from across the room. She turned around with a smile.
“You’re bored?” she asked. “You play the eager, gracious executive so well.”
“I’m eager tonight, that much is true, but not in business,” he drawled, stepping closer to her. “What about you? Are you ready to go home?”
She exhaled warily, handing him her half-empty wineglass. “More than ready.”
He smiled slowly, taking her glass from her hand, his fingers grazing hers. “I’ll bring the car around.”
Instantly, Grace regretted her words as her husband parted through the crowd. He’d meant sex. She knew that look in her Jack’s eyes, recognized it as easily as she did his eye color.
Did he expect them to make love tonight? Just because they’d had a decent time at the party?
She could not let that happen yet. She wasn’t ready, not in the emotional sense. She waited at the hotel entrance, saying their good-byes as Jack swung the Lexus around, got out, and opened her door. During the long ride home, she attempted to keep the conversation light and casual, with her eyes always straight ahead. At times she sensed Jack’s gaze upon her profile, her legs, her whole body, until she nearly felt undressed next to him. His demeanor radiated a sensual energy she was having a difficult time ignoring. Way back when, she’d responded with enthusiasm and awe. She’d play with his neck, nuzzle his ear, whisper and laugh softly how much she couldn’t wait to get him home. Sometimes he’d pull over to a remote spot and they’d make out like a couple of teenagers with nowhere else to go. He’d put the seat back and she’d crawl into his lap, kissing until they couldn’t take anymore.
More than anything, she wished she could let it happen that way again.
Her sex rule was torture! Pure torture.
As soon as they walked in the door, she murmured of her need to use the bathroom and cowered in the master bedroom. Methodically, she removed her makeup with cold cream, brushed her teeth, and changed into a nightgown. When she entered the bedroom, she was relieved to find it empty and dark. She’d expected Jack to be in there waiting for her. She walked out to the kitchen for a glass of water.
She slowed her steps when she saw Jack sitting in a chair in the living room, his feet planted to the floor, arms at rest. He had removed his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his tanned, defined stomach and chest. Her heart skipped a beat. He looked incredible, the picture of elegant masculinity.
A sexual gleam was in his eye as he surveyed her scrubbed-clean appearance, raking his gaze from her toes on up. She half expected him to be turned off from her transformation away from the glamorous, but she was wrong. It wasn’t until he met her gaze that the twinkle slowly faded from his eyes, and his rakish smile turned grim. Looking away, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, studying the lines on his palms.
“You don’t want me, do you?” he asked.
Grace didn’t know what to say. If she was honest and said yes, that she wanted him with all her being, he might never let her go until she gave in. “No, I don’t want you,” she lied, watching him visibly tense. “And you know why.”
He pursed his lips and nodded, reflective. Then shook his head. “Not really. Why, Grace?”
Because if you touch any part of me I’ll fall to pieces. Because if we make love time will stand still and we’ll never change. “Because I want to take things slow. That’s my way, Jack. Take it or leave it.” Take it, she begged silently. Please take it.
“You have to get used to the idea, is that it?” he said. “Me back here inside the house again? Me wanting to make love to you and be close to you every Godforsaken night?”
She was breathless for a minute as he stared at her. “Nothing’s changed,” she told him, her voice strained. “Things aren’t okay just because we went to one party together. Tonight I realized I barely know anything about the work you do, who you see every day when you leave the house. Before you moved out, we spent any time we had together in our own little world on weekends. We didn’t talk about work or our friends or our problems—”
An inexplicable look of withdrawal came over his face. “I know.”
“We always talked about the future. Taking a trip, taking dance lessons, having kids….everything but the present. And we still did no
ne of those things. We didn’t want to talk about the fact we were leading two separate lives and calling it our marriage.”
“I realize that, but we’re two separate people, Grace,” he commented in a firm, reasonable tone. “I work in the corporate world, you’re in entertainment.” He let out a dry laugh. “Our lives couldn’t be more different than night and day. You went your way, I went mine, and then we’d come together on the weekend and have something special all our own. That’s what I liked about us. We weren’t dependent on one another.”
“We should depend on one another,” she shot back in frustration. “That’s part of what marriage is, Jack. Uniting two lives into one. Sharing everyday moments. Not living in some fantasyland on our sporadic days off.”
“You and I aren’t like everyone else. We tried to be a part of one another’s circles for months after we got married, remember? It didn’t work then, and I’m starting to think it won’t work now.”
“It’ll just take some time. I can’t immerse myself in your world overnight. Just like you can’t do it in mine.”
“Or ever.”
“Are you telling me you won’t even give it a second chance?”
“I did all that before. I went to the parties—”
“And hated every second of them. You said everyone in show business was spoiled and phony.”
“That was unfair. But I just didn’t mesh well with that kind of community.” He shrugged. “That’s when we started to keep our lives separate. I guess I got used to it. So did you.”
“And look where it led us,” she said. “When were we ever going to start living our lives together?”
“I don’t know. For a long time, I thought once things settled down I’d be able to give us my full attention.” He started to shake his head. “I just got busier and busier, trying not to think about it. The next thing I knew I was losing you, then I was moving out. I failed you, Grace. And I was too stubborn to tell you I was sorry for letting you down.” His voice turned hoarse. “I’ve missed you.”
She walked over, going to her knees to face him. “I’ve missed you, too.”
All Said and Undone Page 7
