by Amanda Aksel
“Are you okay?” I asked holding the phone away from my ear.
“I’m great! Why didn’t you tell me you were going out with James?” she said in a high-pitched, sorority girl voice.
“It’s kinda new. I didn’t want to jump the gun.”
“I can’t believe it. You guys are perfect for each other. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”
“Probably because I was already engaged.” Duh!
“Oh, right. So, when are you two going out next?” Her voice danced in a sing-song kind of way.
“Saturday,” I said, and she screeched again.
Saturday would be our third official date. We met for coffee on Wednesday and planned a movie over the weekend. Things were going well, but moving slowly. Too slowly. He hadn’t even kissed me except for on my hand and cheek. Usually by the third date things really heat up. At least that’s what many of my friends experienced. At this rate I’d be lucky if I got a single goodnight kiss.
That weekend, James and I met at the movie theater to watch a new action drama. I tried to amp up the flirting by giving him a sultry “kiss me” gaze before the movie started, but that didn’t work. I inched closer to him, leaving my hand lonely and cold on my lap, easy for him to grab. Nothing. Maybe he was purposefully ignoring my signals. About half way through the movie, I decided to give up and sulk as I ate my popcorn and Goobers.
James dropped me off at my apartment the same as our previous dates. He wished me goodnight just like before and asked if I wanted to go out again just like before, and I, of course, said yes just like before. What’s the definition of insanity? I started to wonder if he was a fictitious boyfriend or a boy who was a friend. I shut myself in my apartment and threw my hands in the air. Am I ugly? Does my breath stink? Why hasn’t he kissed me?
The next afternoon, he took me on another “date” to the San Francisco Conservatory, which was a museum of flowers that I rarely visited. I admired the architecture of the building as we walked inside. To me, it looked somewhat like the White House and the Taj Mahal made a building baby.
“Do you like flowers?” he asked and I looked at him strangely. Who would say no to a question like that?
“James, everyone likes flowers.” He smiled and shook his head.
“That’s not true. I dated a girl who despised getting flowers. I gave her a nice bouquet once and she tossed them right in the trash.”
“That’s kind of a strong reaction.” He agreed, then I added, “Maybe they were ugly flowers.”
He laughed and said that he thought her distaste for flowers stemmed from a traumatizing incident with a rose bush.
“Would that be considered Post Traumatic Thorn Syndrome?” I asked.
He smiled. “You’re the shrink. You tell me.”
We walked through the conservatory, admiring the beautiful greenery and ornate flowers. James leaned in and asked, “What’s your favorite kind of flower?”
“Guess,” I said. He let out a thoughtful hmm sound and tapped his finger on his chin.
“Tulips,” he said. I shook my head.
“Lilies?” He tried again. Still no.
“Roses?” I shook my head again and gave him a tightlipped smile as if I were holding the name of my favorite flower hostage inside my mouth. He gave up on guessing and we went easily onto another topic. It was about an hour into the tour when I realized he was walking a safe distance from me. Close enough as friends, but too far for lovers. Romantic relationships don’t exist without a little romance, especially in the beginning. And while I was getting plenty of romantic dates from James, I wasn’t getting any of the passion or obvious tension. It wasn’t nearly this difficult with Anderson or Chad. Neither could keep their hands off me.
James was giving me his opinion on the healthcare system in America when I finally got fed up. I was a modern woman and if I wanted something I had to go get it myself. It was time to go for it and lay one on him. What was the worst that could happen? What did I have to lose? I walked in front of him and planted my feet. He almost ran into me, which was the closest we had been, probably ever.
“Hey!” I said, surprising even myself.
He was startled then puzzled. Perhaps it wasn’t the best way to prompt a kiss. I stared at him unable to make a move. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could speak I said, “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”
“What?” He blushed.
“This is our fourth date and you haven’t so much as held my hand. I don’t understand what we’re doing.” My frustration was on the table and so was my crazy.
“I thought we were having a good time,” he said like it was no big deal. That’s when I realized I was in the friend zone. He wasn’t into me at all. We were hanging out like a couple of middle school kids. Despite the fact that I was in control of the situation, all of the rejection was starting to get to me.
I dropped my head and mumbled to myself, “I’m so stupid.” I turned and walked away. He followed me and called out, “Marin.” I stopped at the display of Birds of Paradise flowers.
“What’s this all about?” he asked. I turned to him and looked up, but not directly at him.
“I thought you liked me,” I said with defeat.
“I do like you.”
“No, I mean like, like me.”
“I do.”
“Then why aren’t you moving things forward? We’re not in high school. By now we should be, ya know, getting to know each other better,” I said, trying to be obvious with the innuendo.
“Marin, dating hasn’t changed since high school. You just asked me if I like, liked you.” He gave me a cute smirk, and I felt kind of silly.
“Truthfully,” he said, “I wanted to take it slow for you. Rachel told me about your engagement ending, and I didn’t want to rush into ‘getting to know each other better’ yet.”
“What did she tell you?” I wasn’t keen on him knowing all the awful details, and I hoped that Rachel had been vague.
“Only that you guys broke it off not that long ago. I figured if you wanted to talk about it you would.”
“Yeah,” I said and realized I might be forced to have that conversation with someone in the future.
“Plus, you kind of seem like you’re not there yet, like you’re not really in it. Do you know what I mean?”
I had to hand it to him. He was trying to be a gentleman and consider my feelings because I had just gotten my heart broken. He was pretty intuitive picking up on my emotional distance. Yep, playing with James wasn’t some old lady’s card game. I had to put my best poker face forward.
“Yeah, I see what you mean,” I said.
“It’s not that I don’t want to kiss you, because I do,” he said, and I smiled. “Do you want me to kiss you now or later?” he asked and sarcastically moved around me like he was trying to figure out if he should make a move or not.
“No.” I laughed. “You have to surprise me.”
“Okay, I’ll make it a surprise.” He took my hand and held it tightly in his.
“Orchids,” I said. “My favorite flowers are orchids.”
“Good to know,” he said with a smile.
We continued on our walk through the conservatory enjoying each other’s company. I felt a little self-conscious after my confrontation about the kiss, but I played it cool. Not that he would let me forget it, because he kept pretending to initiate kisses. What he didn’t know was two could play the pretend game.
Like the gentleman that he was, he walked me to my door once again.
“I’m not going to kiss you now, because it would be too predictable.” He was very matter-of-fact. I blushed and covered my face with my hands. He was definitely not letting me live it down.
“Goodnight,” I said and closed myself in my apartment. I was only inside for a minute when there was a knock at the door. It was James. He stood there staring at me like he had something to confess.
“I forgot something,” he said.
“What?” I asked, wondering what he could’ve possibly forgotten. Then he grabbed me tightly around my waist. His thumb rubbed gently against my cheek.
“This.” And then he kissed me. His lips were soft, his mouth was warm, and his smell was intoxicating. My skin tingled with excitement. As first kisses go, it was pretty damn good. I was rendered speechless, surprised for sure. He released me from his arms and smiled.
“Goodnight, Marin,” he said and walked away. I let out a delayed, “Goodnight” after him.
I closed the door and let out a deep exhale, the kind of exhale that’s triggered by a strong mint. My head was cloudy from the rush of dopamine and norepinephrine. I took a deep breath and came to my senses. I thought to myself, WhooHooo! Now we’re getting somewhere. I did a victory dance around my apartment and relished in the prospect of a beautiful, fictitious relationship.
CHAPTER NINE
Catch Me If You Can
Three weeks and nine dates later, James and I were still seeing each other. I played it cool during every interaction, hoping we would soon take the next steps—commitment and sex. In the meantime, I enjoyed his company, but kept my eyes peeled for any suspicious activity. So far, he proved to be a decent guy.
We met after work one evening for a quick bite to eat and a run in the park. Running had become a frequent activity of ours since he was helping me train for the marathon. The sun set as we walked briskly, cooling ourselves from the run. James slowed and I followed.
“Hey,” James called to a man who was stretching by a bench.
“James,” the man said and shook James’ hand.
“It’s been a long time. How’ve you been?” James asked.
“Great. Stephanie just had a baby.”
“Wow, congratulations.” James gave the man a friendly pat on the arm.
“Thanks.”
“Marin, this is Josh. We went to college together. Josh, this is my girlfriend, Marin.” I offered my hand to Josh.
“Nice to meet you, Marin,” Josh said.
“Likewise.”
“Well, it was good running into you. Send our best to the family.” James ended our little stop and chat.
“Will do,” Josh said as he waved goodbye.
James immediately began talking about how long it had been since he had seen Josh and how they met in economics class their first year. I tried to pay attention, but kept thinking about my introduction.
“I don’t know if you noticed, but you introduced me as your girlfriend back there,” I slowed our walk to a complete stop.
“Yeah, that’s what you are, right?” he said as if we’d been dating for years.
“Well, we never really talked about being exclusive,” I said.
James shrugged. “I guess I thought it was one of those unspoken things. I mean I’m not seeing anyone else, and . . . wait.” He paused. “Are you seeing other people?”
“No,” I said with a giggle.
“Good, then let’s just see each other.” He smiled.
I smiled too, accepting his exclusive offer. He kissed my forehead, took my hand. He went on while I silently congratulated myself. It was official. James was my boyfriend.
James made dinner plans for us on Friday night, which worked well since it was time to get the show on the road. It was the night we were finally going to have sex. That evening I took a long luxurious bath, making sure to shave everything. Yes, everything. The date was casual so I slipped on a light floral summer dress and cute sandals.
He arrived just as I was packing an extra pair of panties and a travel toothbrush. If things went well, I would be out all night.
“These are for you.” He greeted me with a kiss and surprised me with a dozen long stemmed orchids sitting delicately in a simple vase. My favorite flowers and only the second time I had received them as a gift, and the first time I had received them as a romantic gift.
“Thank you,” I said.
He kissed my cheek and told me how beautiful I looked. His blue eyes sparkled at mine, and I was caught for a moment. Then I dropped my eyes, using them to trace the frame of his body. He escorted me outside and I inhaled his delicious smelling cologne.
“Where’s the cab?” I asked.
“Right here,” he said leading me to a dark blue SUV.
“Is this yours?”
“Yeah, I just bought it. What do you think?” he asked. I gave it a once over.
“I like it.”
He opened the door, and when I sat inside, I caught a whiff of that overwhelming new car smell.
“We’ll save a ton on cab fare,” he said.
“I’ll save a ton on cab fare, you’ll spend a fortune on gas,” I said. He smirked before shutting the door. I examined all the knobs and features on his dashboard as he started the engine, then I noticed he was staring at me. When I turned toward him, his eyes came up quickly from staring at my legs that were exposed beyond my short summer dress.
“You ready to go?” he asked.
I gave him a sultry look and pursed my lips. “Yep, just waiting on you.” Before I knew it, we were flying down the road.
Later at the restaurant, we were enjoying our food and having a conversation about movies. When he asked my favorite genre, I told him that I loved any movie with Leonardo DiCaprio.
“Do you have a crush on him?”
“A crush? Please. Haven’t you seen his last two films?”
He took a second, then said, “Point taken.”
“Besides, I’m more of a Hugh Jackman kind of girl,” I said with a wink.
“Oh, I see,” he smiled with a hint of sarcasm.
“Who do you like?” I asked. When he answered I nearly spit out my food. The actress was famous for her wild past and humanitarian, child-adopting present.
“No, I mean talent wise,” I said with a slight chuckle.
“She’s talented,” he said, widening his eyes incredulously.
“You can’t be serious?”
“I am serious. Did you see the movie with her and that Latin guy, I can’t think of his name? He does voiceovers in those animated movies now,” he said in a way to prove his point.
“I know what movie you’re referring to, but no.”
He threw his hands up in disbelief.
“What’s it about?” I asked.
“This Spanish guy sends for a wife and he falls in love with her.” I nodded to show I was listening. “But she’s really trying to put one over on him and take his money and run.”
“That’s original,” I frowned.
“You have to see it.”
That’s his best defense?
“So, what happens?” I asked.
“You’ll have to watch the movie.” He teased.
“What? I’ll never watch it. You can tell me,” I said.
“No way. I have it at home. We can watch it together sometime.” James concluded then shoved his fork in his mouth. I stared at him for a moment. A movie at his house was the perfect way to achieve the task at hand, the task being sex, of course. I could see the doors of opportunity opening and my plan falling right into place.
“Let’s watch it tonight at your place,” I said.
He stared at me if I caught him off guard, as if he knew what I had in store for him. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
Yes! I was in. Inside, I could hear myself laughing like a villain. It was show time.
After dinner, we drove to his apartment, a place I’d visited a couple of times before. This would be my first time seeing it at night. It was a bi-floor loft with a huge window that looked out onto the front street. His place was simple and uncomplicated like him.
As usual, we were greeted by his Great Dane, which he had dubbed Marvin. James got Marvin when he was only a pup, but now the dog was as tall as me if he stood on his hind legs. In fact, I was convinced he wasn’t a dog at all. Rather, he was a small horse. Dogs have always liked me. My guess is they could sense my loving nature. But Marvin wasn’t like other d
ogs. Every time I got near him he grumbled at me then walked away. James said he was usually warm with strangers and thought that Marvin might have an aversion to my perfume. I think it was James’ way of rationalizing the fact that his dog didn’t like me.
“Would you like something to drink?” he asked.
“Wine, please.”
“Comin’ right up,” he said and walked to the kitchen.
“Can I use your restroom?” I asked.
“Of course.”
I headed up to the bathroom in his upstairs bedroom and locked myself in. The last time I was in his apartment I looked through the bathroom cabinets for anything suspicious like the lady bic I found in Anderson’s bathroom. He was clean last time, and by the looks of it, he was clean again. I freshened my breath, lipstick, and perfume, then headed back downstairs. When I returned to the living room two glasses of wine sat on the table, the lights were low, and the movie was ready to go. He rested his arm along the back of the couch. I settled next to him and snuggled up in his arms. The moment I was comfortable, Marvin dug his nose in between us to create some distance, as if he were James’ chaperone.
“Go lay down,” James commanded and gently pushed him away. Marvin planted himself in front of us and stared. James repeated the nudge and command to no avail. Instead, Marvin grumbled and exhaled a sharp breath out of his nose like a bull.
“Marvin, why are you acting like this?” James said as he stood up. He gave me an apologetic look. “He usually listens really well. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
James took Marvin by the collar and ushered him to the kitchen. Marvin dragged his paws on the floor, and it only took a minute for James to get him to lie down. He returned to the couch, and I cuddled in his arms just as before.
We sipped our wine and watched the beautiful actress use seduction like a spell. About halfway through the movie, I realized how ironic it was. We were in similar situations, pretending to be into someone when we really had an ulterior motive. My cheeks started to flush as I wondered if James mentioned the movie because he secretly knew what I was up to. He smiled warmly when I looked at him for reassurance, so I shook off the ridiculous thought. No way he knew my true intentions. I snuggled deeper into him and began tickling his knee with my fingers. The movie progressed to a fever pitch, giving us the perfect push. A very steamy sex scene began, the kind that inspires either arousal or embarrassment.
