by Amy Cross
“I might speak to your mother about that,” he says, heading over to the table and starting to wash his hands in the sink. “There are things the doctor can give you, Sylvia, to make the nightmares go away forever, so that you don't even remember you had them. You'd like that, wouldn't you?”
“I suppose so.”
“You only suppose so?”
“I don't know.”
He glances at me.
“You know,” he says after a moment, still washing his hands, “for a nine-year-old you can be very inscrutable sometimes.”
“What does inscrutable mean?” I ask.
“Difficult to read. Difficult to understand.”
“Oh.” I think about that for a moment. “I don't mean to be.”
He smiles. “I know you don't. It's just something you are.”
“I'll try not to be.”
“Don't. It can be a good thing.”
“Can I go to my room now?” I ask.
“Are you tired?”
I nod.
“Go on, then,” he says, and I immediately start heading toward the door. “Remember you've got Ms. Harper early in the morning and she'll want to go through your fractions with you. Are you ready?”
Stopping at the door, I turn to him and nod.
“That's good,” he says with a faint smile. “You're a good girl, Sylvia. I hope you know that.”
I try to smile, but I don't really feel much at all so I simply turn and head out of the room.
“Oh, and Sylvia?”
I turn to him.
“Has your mother mentioned anything about what's going on downstairs?” he asks. “She seems to have a new project, but she's running all the financing through... Well, I just wondered whether she'd mentioned anything to you.”
I shake my head.
It's weird that Mr. Randall wouldn't know.
Really weird.
“Forgive me,” he continues. “I shouldn't have asked. Go to bed now.”
As I make my way along the corridor, I realize I can hear Mother a little more clearly now. I head through to the front room and turn to go to my bedroom, but then I stop as it occurs to me that I might be able to hear Mother properly if I go to the top of the stairs. I glance over my shoulder and listen to the sound of Mr. Randall still working in the bathroom, and then I creep out into the hallway and over to the top of the stairs, where I stop and listen to the sound of voices from the floor below.
“How can anyone fuck this up so badly?” Mother is yelling, using naughty words again. “Do I not pay people enough? Do I not give them enough time?”
“The process was somewhat experimental from the start,” a man's voice replies. I've heard him before, although I don't remember his name. “We got half the cargo here without any trouble.”
“I didn't pay for half,” Mother sneers. “I paid for both of them!”
“And you have one of them,” the man says. “If I might be so bold, Ms. Hall, even one of them is one more than anybody else in the world has. If someone like Anastasia Ilnyachov or Jason Flemyng has any idea of the -”
“Don't patronize me,” she snaps. “Don't fucking tell me I should be happy to have one when I damn well paid for two!” She sighs. “I swear, if this one dies, I... I don't know what I'll do, but I will make sure that people pay for letting me down! This isn't just about possessing something fancy, it's about...”
She sighs.
“You wouldn't understand,” she adds finally, and now she sounds exhausted. “No-one would.”
“Everything looks stable so far,” he explains. “Whatever problems we experienced with subject A, they don't seem to be presenting with subject B. I'll know more after I've examined subject A in the morning, but for now I want to focus on subject B and ensure that she settles in to her new environment. We're making real progress.”
Before Mother can say another word, I hear something moving behind me. Turning, I see that Mr. Randall has come and found me eavesdropping.
“Please don't tell Mother!” I whisper in a panic.
“Come on,” he says with a sigh, steering me back through to the main part of the apartment. “You need to sleep. You're a growing girl, Sylvia. You need all the sleep you can get.”
As he leads me away, I can still just about hear Mother yelling downstairs. And then I realize that when I turned around, Mr. Randall was simply standing behind me. It's almost as if he was eavesdropping too, but I don't understand why Mother would hide anything from him. She always tells him everything, even things I'm too young to know.
Chapter Four
“Sylvia, wake up! Wake up, Sylvia! It's Mummy!”
Opening my eyes, I find that the lights are suddenly on in my bedroom. Squinting, I put a hand over my face to shield myself, and I turn to see that my bedside clocks says it's 3:34 in the morning. I don't think I've ever been awake at that time before.
“Come on,” Mother says, pulling the duvet aside, “I want to show you something.”
“What is it?” I ask groggily. “I'm tired.”
“It can't wait another second,” she says, taking hold of my shoulders and forcing me to sit up in my nice warm bed. She starts putting my dressing gown around my shoulders. “You have to come downstairs with me right now and see something no little girl has seen in hundreds of years. Maybe even longer!”
I start rubbing sleep out of my eyes.
“Come on!”
Grabbing my arm, Mother pulls me off the bed and I have no choice but to stumble after her. I almost trip on some books, but finally we get out into the corridor and Mother immediately starts leading me toward the open elevator. My dressing gown falls off, but Mother doesn't give me time to go back and get it. Now I'm only wearing my pajamas and I already feel a little cold. Especially my feet, which are bare on the marble floor.
“Can't I go back to bed?” I ask. “Please? It's so cold out here!”
“You won't be cold in a minute,” she replies as we step into the elevator's chamber. She immediately selects the next floor down, and the door slides shut. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment, Sylvia. You have no idea how lucky you are, but you'll figure that out soon enough. I swear, your eyes are going to pop out on stalks when you see what I've got installed right here in our apartment! I've been working on this for so long, and it's finally here.”
Looking up at her, I see that she's grinning from ear to ear. She looks a little as if she's been crying, too, but all things considered she seems a lot happier than she was just a few hours ago. At the same time, she seems very nervous, as if she can't quite stay still. Before I can really think about that, however, the chamber shudders to a halt and the door slides open, and Mother starts leading me out into the boring workplace corridor down here on the floor beneath the penthouse.
I've never really understood what Mother does down here. When I've asked, she's only told me that it's something for grown-ups, and I once heard her mention a laboratory. Even Mr. Randall hasn't been allowed down.
“There's nothing to be scared of,” Mother says, starting to walk even faster and dragging me along. Sure enough, after a moment I almost trip over my own feet. “Come on, Sylvia, wake up a little. You're almost ten years old and you act like you're scared of everything. It's time for you to see some of the wonders of the world!”
“Can't I see them in the morning?” I ask, but we're already well along one of the cold, metal-lined corridors that lead into Mother's special laboratories, and I know it's too late to go back to bed now.
Mother doesn't say anything as she leads me through a set of double-doors and into another corridor. I've only been down here a few times, but I remember parts of the layout and I can already tell that we're going to the really big room that has been left empty for years. Or at least, I think it's empty. I've overheard Mother talking about having something really big and important in there, but she's never really said what she's planning. Right now, however, she seems so excited, and it's really weird to think
that just a few hours ago she was shouting angrily at people.
I don't understand what changed, but I suppose she finally got whatever she's been wanting for so long.
As soon as we get into the huge room, a man gets up from a computer desk and comes over to meet us. He's wearing a white coat, and he has a kind, friendly old man's face.
“Numbers are still good,” he says, glancing uneasily at me before turning back to Mother. He's definitely the man whose voice I heard earlier, the man who was talking to Mother when she was angry. “I'm very happy with the -”
“Lights,” Mother replies, storming past him and leading me toward the farther, pitch-black end of the vast room. She clicks her fingers. “Come on! Lights!”
“I'd rather keep the lights down for at least the next six hours,” the man calls after her. “If we disorientate the subject, she might -”
“Just for a minute or two,” Mother says, leading me further into the darkness. That's all that's ahead of us now. Darkness. “You can turn them back off after I've shown my daughter. A couple of minutes isn't going to hurt anyone.”
The man doesn't reply, and all I hear for a moment as we head into the darkness is the sound of our feet against the bare metal floor. And then, one by one, lights start to switch on all across the high ceiling until finally Mother and I stop in front of a huge glass tank that has been constructed at the room's far end.
My eyes open wide with shock as I see that this tank goes almost all the way up to the ceiling, and that it's full of water. There's some kind of construction at the back of the tank, like one of those fake shipwrecks that get put in fish tanks sometimes for the fish to swim in and out of, except that it looks to be an actual shipwreck. I can't really make out any of the details, since the water's kind of murky and dark. All I can really do is stare up at the vast glass wall and think about all the water that's on the other side, and after a moment I take a step back as I start to worry that the wall might break and all the water will come rushing out on top of us.
“Stay,” Mother says, keeping hold of my hand but not looking at me. “Stay, Sylvia.”
“What is it?” I ask.
“It's the most beautiful thing in the whole world,” she explains. “It's something no-one else has.”
“But what is it?”
“Wait and see. Any minute now.”
With my mouth hanging open, I stare straight ahead into the water tank, but all I see are a few small particles drifting past. The water looks pretty calm and settled, and I suppose it's beautiful like Mother said, but I still can't help worrying that the tank might break and hurt us. Mother says I should stop thinking about the worst possibilities and start thinking about the best, but I can't help myself.
“Where are you?” Mother whispers.
“I'm right here,” I tell her.
“Not you,” she replies, before taking a step closer to the glass. She's still holding my hand, but I stay back. “Come on,” she continues, her voice lowered to a hush now, “where are you? Let me see you again.”
She pauses, before reaching up and tapping the glass.
“Don't do that!” I gasp.
Ignoring me, she taps again. Louder this time.
“I recommend not disturbing her,” the man says, and I turn to see that he's watching us from one of the computer terminals. His face is bathed in glowing green light from the screen. “We don't want to startle her.”
“She's not some kind of nervous wreck,” Mother replies. “I'm sure she can handle a few bumps on her glass.”
“Who are you talking about?” I ask.
“Is this all the lights?” Mother asks, turning to look at the man. “Seriously, do we not have more?”
“I'm worried about photo-sensitivity and other -”
“Just for a minute or two!” Mother says firmly, and I immediately recognize her out-of-patience voice. “I'm telling you, Doctor Collier, it won't hurt her. Just max the lights long enough for us to see her, and then turn them off again.”
The man sighs and taps at his computer, and then a moment later several more lights come on all around the tank, lighting it not only from the top this time but also from the back and even the bottom. Light is being directed into the tank from every direction now, and I can see much better, although there still doesn't seem to be anything except what looks like some kind of old wooden boat. I mean, that's kind of cool, but it doesn't seem like a good enough reason for Mother to drag me down here. There aren't even any Dory or Nemo fish.
“Is it fish?” I ask, looking up at Mother. “Did you get fish?”
“Keep watching,” she replies, before pulling me closer. “It's safe, Sylvia. Come on, don't be a scaredy-cat your whole life. It's totally safe, nothing can go wrong. This is where you get to see something special. This is where you start getting a grown-up view of the world.”
She sounds a little breathless.
I'm feeling even more scared now. I can't believe a piece of glass can be strong enough to hold back so much water. Any second now it's all going to come crashing down on top of us along with millions of glass shards and we'll be all cut up. I know I should be brave, and that I should trust Mother, but I can already feel the tears in my eyes. I'm going to hate myself if I start sobbing, but sometimes I can't hold the tears back.
“Make her come out!” Mother shouts.
“I don't know how I'd do that,” the man replies.
Mother turns and glares at him. “Are you serious?”
“It was always anticipated that -”
“I don't care what was anticipated!” Mother snaps. “I didn't bring her all the way here just so she could hide behind the junk that you insisted had to go in the tank with her.”
“Environmental acclimatization is -”
“I don't care! I want to see her! I woke my daughter up in the middle of the night and brought her down here, and now I want to show her what's in the tank! So make the damn thing appear! It was here twenty minutes ago!”
“It's okay,” I whimper. “I can see it tomorrow. Whatever it is.”
“Wake up!” Mother yells, turning and banging her fist on the tank's glass.
“Don't do that,” I gasp.
“Come out of there!” she continues, banging again. “Jesus Christ, can't we drop some food in or something, to get her out from wherever she's hiding?”
“It doesn't work like that,” Doctor Collier replies. “We have to be very careful about her feeding routine until we're sure of her natural diet. The stomach contents of the -”
“I'm not talking about a full meal! Just some sprinkles of something.”
“The data -”
“Show me the data!” she snaps. “You're probably reading it wrong, anyway!”
Suddenly she lets go of my hand and marches back across the room, heading toward the terminals where Doctor Collier is working. Shocked, I don't know for a moment what to do, but finally I start walking after Mother.
“Stay where you are, Sylvia!” she calls out, as if she realized even with her back to me that I was following. “I'll only be a minute.”
I stop, even though I want to keep going.
“Do you mean to tell me,” she continues as she reaches Doctor Collier, “that you spent twenty million pounds of my money on a tank and you didn't even think to include a way to poke the bitch out of her hidey hole?”
They're locked in a discussion now, and Mother's being quite mean to Doctor Collier. I don't really understand what they're talking about, so after a moment I turn and look back into the vast water tank. I can't imagine how Mother's builders even got all this water up here onto the second-highest floor of the tower, but I suppose that's why Mother always has to hire the absolute best people. And as I continue to stare at the water, I can't help thinking how pretty it would be if Mother filled the tank with lots of lots of brightly-colored fish all swimming around together.
Then again, maybe that'd be a sad thing to see. I'm sure the fish would prefer to
be free, rather than trapped here.
After a moment I look over at the fake shipwreck. I think Mother might have bought an entire old boat and plopped it in the tank, complete with old pieces of rope wrapped around the masts. There's are even some words painted on the boat's side, although I can't quite make out the letters. Squinting, I try to read the name, and after a few seconds I think I can figure out the first word at least.
“Sally...” I whisper, before squinting harder to read the second word.
I take a step closer to the glass.
“Ann?” I add. “Sally Ann?”
That's a funny name for a boat. Then again, I suppose -
Suddenly I gasp as I spot something moving. It's only a quick flash of a shadow, but something large definitely moves behind the sunken boat, and then for a fraction of a second I think I spot a hand slipping away from a section of the rotten wood. Already the thing is out of sight, but my heart is racing and I know I saw something that was way bigger than any fish. Well, bigger than most fish, anyway. And I'm pretty sure fish aren't supposed to have hands, not hands like people have. Fish have fins.
Mother is still arguing with Doctor Collier. I want to go over to her, but I stay frozen to the spot as I watch for any further sign of movement. I keep telling myself that I made a mistake. After all, I often make mistakes, and Mother always tells me that I have flights of fancy. This time, though, I'm sure I saw a human hand over there in the water, so I stay completely still and watch in case it appears again.
Sure enough, a moment later I do see something moving. It's as if there's somebody behind the boat, slowly edging toward the farthest end. I can just make out a hint of a shadow on the glass at the bottom of the tank, and finally I see the hand again, reaching out around the edge of the boat. And then, holding my breath, I watch as a shape starts to lean around the side and a shadowy face -
“Come on, Sylvia,” Mother says suddenly, grabbing my hand.
Startled, I turn to find that Mother has come over from the terminal. Before I can say anything, she starts leading me away from the tank.
“The money I spend on these things is being given to idiots,” she mutters under her breath, marching me straight past Doctor Collier. “I'd better see an improvement tomorrow, or heads are going to start rolling!”
