by Lynn Hubbard
“No, not Jaelyn, not my girl.” Anna cried as Warren moved forward to lift her from the horse. Amelia’s heart ached and she was barely aware as she was lowered from the horse and then pulled tightly into Sabrina’s arms and then Riley’s. Sally stood on the porch holding the railing so tight her knuckle’s were white as she took in the scene.
Chase followed the slow procession into the house as Warren carried Jaelyn into the foyer and laid her gently on the settee. Tom hurried forward to check her. Brock felt a tug on his arm and turned almost surprised to see Sabrina standing there next to him. Her face was mimicking what he felt in his heart. He pulled her into his arms tightly as he buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed. He blamed himself for his sister’s death, if he had only been faster.
Chase stood off to the side watching the scene unfold around him. His father holding his mother tightly. Brock holding Sabrina. His eyes sought out Amelia who was standing next to Sally and his heart ached. Her face was black and blue where she had been beaten. Her body was covered in dirt and scratches from the forest Her wrists were raw from her bonds. He had failed her just as he had failed Jaelyn and the rest of his family.
Not able to face them he slipped out the back unnoticed.
Brock exhausted as he was volunteered to ride into town and get Thomas. “I’ll ride with you.” Tom said feeling his son and or Brock may need him. Brock nodded gratefully and kissed Sabrina goodbye before heading out again. He rode Justice who had been rested after Jaelyn’s desperate ride. The thought of his carefree sister being gone made his heart ache.
He had the ranch hands throw the outlaws corpses on the wagon and drive it into town. They followed at a slower pace. None of the remaining outlaws had survived, Brock didn’t question it. He didn’t care.
They found Thomas at the former Doctor’s office. He was still awake and looked exhausted as he finished packing his instruments. “I was just about to head back.”
He said greeting them with a smile that froze as he noticed their grim faces.
“Amelia?” He asked worriedly.
“Will be fine.” His father replied stepping towards him. “It’s Jaelyn, she was shot, she didn’t make it.”
Thomas shook his head in disbelief as he sat down hard on a bench. “No, she isn’t dead. She can’t be, we are to be married.”
“I’m so sorry son.” Tom said putting his hand on Thomas’ heaving shoulder.
The three rode back in silence the only sound was an occasional sniff from Thomas who was still in disbelief. When they arrived at the house Thomas ran to her and sobbed over her until it felt like his heart would explode.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up seeing the majestic Anna standing there.
“She would not want you to grieve for her. She is not lost, her spirit is among us still as it will always be.”
Thomas cried even more.
Sabrina was in the bathroom with Amelia. She scrubbed her from head to foot as Amelia protested. “You have to clean the dirt off it can get infected.”
“I don’t care! Jaelyn is dead and it is all my fault. I should be dead not her.”
“Don’t you say that. None of this is your fault. You can’t blame yourself for the evil that men do. It took me a long time to realize that.”
“How will Chase ever forgive me? Every time he looks at me he’ll remember that because of me his sister is dead.”
“Jaelyn made her own choices. There was no way in hell she would let those men leave her behind. She knew the risks and felt that they were worth it. That you were worth it. Now bend over I need to rinse your hair.”
Brock sat at the kitchen table with his parents. Alma put a steaming cup of coffee in front of him and he nodded to her gratefully. The rest were either on the porch or had gone to bed.
He lifted the steaming cup to his lips and ignored the burn as he took a gulp. The first rays of sunlight were peeking over the horizon. He thought back to the day before when Sabrina had begged him to go with her to the dress shop. Maybe things would have been different if he had gone. Maybe Jaelyn would still be alive.
As if reading his thoughts his mother placed her hand on his arm. “The past will not change no matter how much you think about it.”
“I was right there. I just had to pull the trigger.”
“And shoot a man in the back? That’s not you Brock, He will pay his dues in hell.” Jonathan spoke up, his own eyes red and swollen.
The door creaked open to the washroom and Sabrina appeared leading a damp Amelia. Sally met them at the stairs and Sabrina went over to the table while the two women headed upstairs to rest.
Sabrina first hugged Anna and Jonathan tightly before sitting down next to Brock and taking a sip of his coffee. She scrunched her face up a bit at the bitter taste she liked cream in hers if possible.
Anna frowned at her. “You need to get some rest. There is nothing else to do now.”
“I’m fine.” Sabrina said resting her head on her hand as she fought to keep her eyes open.
“Come.” Brock said standing up and offering her his hand. Sabrina usually would have argued with him but was too exhausted, mentally and physically. She reached for his hand and he pulled her to her feet. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he guided her upstairs to their bedroom. She lay down on the bed and was out before Brock crawled in next to her.
He frowned at the smell of gunpowder still in the air and pulled her to him as he realized how close he had come to losing her again.
Chapter 31
Amelia awoke the next day feeling horrid. Every part of her body was sore. She lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. She didn’t want to get up. She didn’t want to face the day or anyone else. A small part of her wondered about Chase. She didn’t remember seeing him after her bath. Or since her arrival now that she thought about it. Perhaps he was angry at her?
She felt a stir next to her and rolled over and remembered Sally had stayed to keep her company. She was so exhausted she slept too deeply for even dreams.
She lay in the bed watching the shadows mark the time on her wall. There was a brief knock on her door and it creaked open.
“You alright?” Sabrina asked stepping into the room.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be alright again.”
“You’re alive. Yesterday was horrid but it could have been so much worse.”
“How did you go on after your family died?”
“Worked myself half to death ‘til I couldn’t think, ‘til I couldn’t feel. Don’t do that Amelia, don’t be like me.”
A soft voice interrupted them. They had forgotten they were not alone. “After my mother died I was angry at the world. I hated everyone and everything. Even my father, he was a doctor, he was supposed to save people. Why couldn’t he save her? I became very reckless hoping that I could die too. It was just recently that I discovered that I didn’t wanna die that I wanted to live. That ma’ma would have wanted me to be good and live. I’m so ashamed.” Sally said burying her face in her pillow and crying.
Amelia reached over and hugged her. They sat quietly each lost in their own thoughts; in their own pain.
***
Chase road on. He knew leaving was wrong, and he hated himself for it. However, he could not believe that Jaelyn was gone.
Jaelyn was more than a sister to him. They were twins. They had shared every breath and moment together since they were conceived. It was as if he had not only lost a sister, he had lost a part of himself as well.
He knew he should turn around, go back but he just needed to go home. To make sure she was not there, to make sure this wasn’t all some horrid dream.
So wrapped up in his own pain he could not consider the others. The path leading before him was the same one Sabrina took many years ago.
***
They buried Jaelyn the following day. Sabrina suggested she be buried next to Lydia, her sister. She leaned heavily against Brock. She was so upset at the loss. Jonathan spoke ove
r her, they didn’t want a preacher who had never known her. Never knew her spirit. He talked about her growing up and chasing butterflies in the field. And that she was once again chasing butterflies as she watched over all of them.
The only one not present was Chase. No one had seen him since that night. He had taken one of the new mounts and disappeared. Brock offered to go after him but Anna said no. He needed to grieve in his own way.
Sabrina insisted on calling the wedding off. Brock refused. To preserve her memory he felt the wedding should go on. She felt horrid for Thomas but he sided with Brock. Jaelyn would have wanted it that way.
Sabrina recanted but decided on just a ceremony. Just family. And of course family to Sabrina family meant everybody at Montgomery.
Sabrina set the date for the wedding for Friday. Three days from now. Alma cursed out loud at the short notice and went scampering about barking orders and putting everyone to work cleaning, sewing or cooking. Sabrina smiled in spite of herself. The first time she had smiled since Amelia was taken.
Amelia had been very quite since Chase had left. Sabrina and Sally kept insisting that he would not leave her, that he would come back. Nevertheless, she didn’t hold out much hope. She couldn’t stay at Montgomery forever. Her heart ached that he had not even told her goodbye.
Warren had went to town earlier and picked up Sabrina’s dress and paid the seamstress. He instructed her to donate Jaelyn’s to another bride in need. Alma carried it upstairs and hung it on a wall hook in Amelia’s room, so Brock would not see it. That is where Sabrina now sat staring at it.
It was perfect everything she had imagined. They had even removed the dirt and gravel from when she went looking for Amelia.
As if sensing her name, Amelia peeked her head in the door as her and Sally came in. “It’s beautiful.”
Sabrina nodded. “It just doesn’t feel right wearing it now. It makes me think of Jaelyn’s dress. And the fact that she’ll never get to wear hers.” The last part came out in a sob as she took a shuddering breath trying not to cry again.
“Sabrina, a wedding isn’t about the outside. It’s about the inside. About how much you love Brock and how much he loves you back. Lots of people forget that. You are beautiful Sabrina, you will be beautiful in anything you wear.” Amelia said.
Sabrina looked over at Amelia, her face was still black and blue, there had been no word from Chase and here she was trying to cheer up Sabrina. “Thank you.”
Sally snapped her fingers, “You know what? I have just the thing!” She disappeared out the door. The women were intrigued and followed her down the hall to her room. Sabrina sat on her bed watching in amazement as Sally dug through trunk after trunk of clothes.
Two piles later, they heard an “Aha!” Sally reappeared from behind the hoard and held up a green dress. “It matches your eyes.” She proclaimed.
Sabrina ran her hand over the calico material. It was cover in tiny white flowers. It was perfect.
“I love it, but I don’t think it will fit.”
“Non-sense, it’s an empire waist so you’ll have plenty of room. It may be a bit long but we’ll make it fit!” She said whipping out some scissors and sewing necessities.
“You sew?” Amelia asked impressed.
“Of course my mother taught me.”
With renewed spirits, Sabrina stood to be measured. While her dress was being worked on, Sabrina headed to front porch to rest. She had not been sleeping well of late. Her mind was full of grief and she just could not get in a comfortable position with her growing belly. She knew that Brock was not resting as well either. He had been unusually quite as of late. They all missed Jaelyn desperately.
She found Anna there knitting and sat down next to her in a rocker. This was the first time she had been alone with her since the tragedy and she did not know what to say.
The only things that came to her mind were the same unhelpful phrases spoken to her at her family’s funeral. Nothing she said would make a difference, nothing would bring Jaelyn back. Not knowing what to do, she remained silent listening to the birds sing and the leaves rustle in the wind.
And Anna spoke. “When Brock left home I thought I was losing a son, but instead I gained a daughter. My heart grieves so.”
“My heart does too. I’m not sure what your plans are after the ceremony, but I would like for you and Jonathan to stay with Brock and I here at Montgomery. Truth be told, I’m scared to death to have this baby. Being the youngest I was never around babies and with my mother gone…” Sabrina had to stop and take a ragged breath as her chin trembled. “I could use your help.”
Anna patted her arm. “Jonathan and I will stay as long you need us.” Sabrina leaned over and hugged her tightly.
***
Warren sat in his office his brow was furrowed in deep thought. Hearing the knob turn he looked up to watch Sally enter. She closed the door behind her and stood awkwardly in front of his desk.
“You wanna talk?” She asked to fill the void.
The chair creaked as Warren sat back with his elbows on the arms. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. It’s my ranch but it seems like I’m not in control anymore. In the last week I’ve got three injured men, two dead and Jaelyn.”
“You can’t dwell on all the bad. There are lots of good things too. Amelia is safe. The men will heal up fine, Sabrina will have a beautiful health baby and you have me. If you want me.” The last was said so softly Warren could barely believe his ears.
“Of course I want you.”
“Then come home with me. There are plenty of outlaws to take down in Tulsey. Brock is more than capable to handle the ranch. My father has to go back, I can’t let him go back alone.”
“What about Thomas?”
“Thomas has decided to stay here. The town is in need of a doctor and Brock would kill him if he left before the baby was born.”
Warren chuckled at that. He looked up at the woman who made his life brighter and could make him laugh even in the darkest of times. His heart ached with just the thought of her leaving him behind. Standing up he walked over to her pulling her close. His lips were almost touching hers as he spoke, his voice thick with emotion.“Where would I sleep?”
“Oh, we’ll think of something?” Sally replied wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to meet her lips.
***
Before she knew it, her wedding day was upon her. The normally confident Sabrina sat in Amelia’s room twittering with nerves.
“I’m still not too sure about all this. I don’t know if this is right.”
“It is right.” Sally assured her, “Everyone gets nervous before their wedding.”
“Do you think Brock is nervous?”
Sabrina asked, they had her sequestered since the night before. Tradition they had told her. She didn’t know why women were hidden away before weddings. Maybe to give them a chance to escape?
“Riley said he kept everyone up all night in the bunk house going in and out the door.”
“I’m so glad Riley is doing better.” Sabrina said sincerely. “That is the only good news as of late.”
“That and your wedding. We all need a bit of happiness.” Amelia told her sadly and Sabrina wondered if she was thinking about Chase.
Sally took a brush and ran it through Sabrina’s shimmering dark hair. She pulled back the sides and held them with an ornamental hair comb.
Amelia pinched her cheeks to add color as Sally left the room to get her dress. Returning Sabrina felt a stirring inside her as she looked at it. Moreover, for the first time she felt like this was real. She was going to lawfully be with the man of her dreams.
Taking a deep breath, she stood and they pulled the dress down over her head being careful not to muss up her hair. Sally straightened out the front while Amelia buttoned up the back. It fit perfectly.
Holding up a hand mirror Sabrina viewed her reflection for the first time. Tears stung her eyes as she gazed at her reflection. She w
as beautiful. She thought back to her time spent as “Will” and had trouble remembering. It was as if her life began when she met Brock. As if she had never existed until then.
“Ready?”
Sabrina looked up at her friends and nodded. She was ready. She carefully held onto the handrail as she went down the stairs. Therefore, she missed the look of astonishment on her brother’s face. When she reached the bottom, he smiled down at her and kissed her check.
“You are the most stunning bride I have ever seen.”
“So far.” She teased with a glance at Sally who was heading out the door with Amelia. The porch bell rang signaling her arrival and Warren offered her his arm and led her to her future.
She blinked her eyes as she stepped out into the afternoon sun. It was a perfect day. The sky was dolloped with bright fluffy clouds and the old Oak stood mighty. Her guests were gathered under the powerful boughs but her eyes sought out Brock.
He was watching her with his dark eyes and his expression was so that she wished there weren’t twenty people around watching them. Anna and Jonathan stood proudly in the front and Thomas stood at Brock’s side in Chase’s stead.
Tears welled up in her eyes at the site of him. This was to be his wedding as well. Seeing her distress Brock stepped up and gathered her in his arms. She laid her head against his chest and the beating of his heart soothed her. They were the only two people in the world. Accepting his strength, she kissed his cheek and turned to the preacher.
“Brock and Sabrina, a marriage is the merging of two souls into one. Your sorrow is his sorrow, your joy is his joy. You have traveled a long hard road to come to this juncture in life. You will travel alone no more.
