by Koboah, A D
Even though it was the last thing I wanted to do considering Avery’s plight, I forced a smile and blew Master John a kiss. His face turned the colour of a burst tomato as I turned Julia away. He began to shout, angrier than I had ever heard him. “Get my horse! Get my horse!” he screamed, but the sound of his voice was soon lost to the wind as I sped away.
I headed out to the grasslands, not thinking too much about where I was going only intent on getting as far away from the plantation, and Master John, as possible. Despite my depressed spirits, I could feel the same pull to let go that I’d always felt whenever I rode Julia and so, letting my worries fade into the background, I surrendered to the moment. I became at one with everything: the rhythm of the powerful horse beneath me, the wind sweeping past my face, the flock of birds cutting across the somnolent blue sky and the thunder of the horse’s hooves as they hit the earth. My psychic sense was in tune with everything but the one thing that mattered to me most. Avery. I felt absolutely nothing from him and the sun, my silent nemesis, was still high above us, scorching the earth with her deadly gaze.
And there was more. I felt an ugly ripple curling toward me which forced me to bring Julia to a stop. I turned her around. At first I could only see a tiny cloud of dust on the road, but then four horses came into view, the rider of the horse in front dressed in green. It could only be Master John.
With Avery strapped to the horse, I couldn’t ride as fast as I wanted, so I knew they would soon catch up.
I expected to feel a quiver of fear or apprehension, but there was only a dark, deadly calm as I watched them.
Let them come.
I turned Julia around and set off again. I tried to think of somewhere to take Avery where they wouldn’t be able to get to him until after dark. Numerous images began to flash across my mind like petals on the surface of a fast moving stream, images of all the places where Avery had hidden provisions for me. One in particular stood out. A cave by the Mississippi River. The perfect place to hide him until nightfall and it wouldn’t take me too long to get there.
But they were closing in on me fast. I didn’t need to look behind me to see that, for they were clearly emblazoned in my mind’s eye. Master John was in a frenzy, his whip coming down on his horse in savage strokes as he tore across the countryside, edging ever closer to his prey. They were sure to catch up to me before I could get to the caves, but a plan was already forming in my mind.
I turned left, choosing a circuitous path, which, although it would take longer, would also give me an opportunity to stop, or at the very least, slow down my pursuers.
Urging Julia on a little bit faster, we soon came to rocky ground, which was punctuated by a few thin, wraithlike trees. Here, the earth sloped gently upwards. It felt as if there was a hook puncturing my chest, and every time Avery was jostled by the jarring movement of the horse, it tugged painfully. But I had to hurry. They were close enough now for me to hear the faint sound of Master John’s voice as he screamed my name.
The climb up the mountain seemed to take an age and for the first time during that ride I began to feel a tingle of fear. The horse’s reins felt slick in my moist hands, and there was a twinge of pain in my forehead from concentrating not only on making the ascent, but from keeping my mind’s eye trained on the men chasing me. They were probably no more than five metres behind but just as I began to think that they would surely catch up to me, I saw the ravine up ahead.
I pushed Julia faster and quietened my mind, sinking even deeper into the trancelike stillness as I raced toward the precipice and the sheer drop beyond.
Time seemed to slow down when I reached the edge, the three-metre gap yawning like a hungry mouth, and I became aware of everything in those seconds. My heartbeat and Julia’s slowed down as I reached out and forced a solid calm on her, our minds as one, so that when I felt the fear crawling through her as the ravine drew closer, I was able to push it away. I was also able to sense Master John’s disbelief when he saw what I was about to do and his rage and frustration was like a serpent’s hiss at the back of my mind.
That dumb nigger!
Those words came through the clearest, along with his belief that I wouldn’t be able to make the jump and he would have to watch me fall to a gruesome, bloody death. I pushed all thought of him aside and the world fell eerily quiet as we reached the edge and Julia jumped.
We flew through the air in one fluid motion, and as we soared over the ravine, I was aware of Master John and his men coming to a stop before they reached the edge, looking on in breathless disbelief as we landed with a brain-numbing jolt on the other side.
Everything sped up again in a rush of noise, the sharp clap of Julia’s hooves, the harsh cry of a lone eagle, and the sound of my heart pounding. I didn’t stop to look back at the four men on the other side of the ravine. I kept going. As we disappeared from sight, I heard Master John barking orders at the other men. He sounded desperate.
“That way! We’ll cut her off before she gets down to the other side.”
I concentrated only on the task ahead as I guided Julia down the precarious slope, the hook in my heart tugged more often now that we were heading downhill. I also kept my senses honed in on my pursuers and timed my descent so that I would reach the bottom at exactly the right moment.
About fifteen metres from the bottom I saw the first man on the right making his way along the base of the mountain toward me with Master John close behind. The other two were on my left.
It was exactly as I had foreseen it. They were still far away and I could easily have swept down and past them before they could reach me, but my plan had been to stop them. And so, steadying myself, I held the reins in my left hand and took out the gun with my right.
Slowing down slightly, I aimed the gun at the first man on my right and fired. The gun cracked through the silence like a whip. His horse tumbled and went down in a screech of pain trapping him beneath it.
I aimed the gun again.
Master John was seconds behind the man I had just taken down but his quick reflexes had enabled him to steer out of the way when the horse fell. But, just as he moved directly beneath a large dead tree, I fired at one of the branches, bringing it crashing down. Master John was knocked off his horse and flung backward, head over heels, to the ground whilst his horse scrambled away.
Remembering the amount of times he had knocked me off my feet with a slap and the degradation I had suffered at his hands, I kept the gun trained on him, my finger tightening around the trigger.
I so desperately wanted to kill him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t.
Too many slaves up and down Mississippi would suffer horribly if I shot a white man, so I lowered the gun. I reached the bottom of the mountain. The third man rode toward me on my left.
I swept past him easily, and, as he altered course to follow, I brought my right arm across my chest so that the gun was just below my left shoulder. Turning my head to the left only long enough to take aim, I fired, hitting his horse.
I didn’t waste time watching him go down but stayed facing forward as I sped away. With my inner vision I knew Master Peter had stopped when he’d heard the first gunshot, so he wasn’t going to be a problem. I rode on, only looking back when I had put enough space between us, and saw Master John slowly growing smaller as the distance between us grew. I watched him throw his riding whip down on the ground, and roar in rage, before he stamped on it like a spoilt child.
I didn’t need my sixth sense to tell me that he wasn’t about to give up, but hopefully he wouldn’t be able to stop me.
Now that the exhilaration of the jump and defeating Master John was fading, misery came in swift nauseating waves. I felt drained and trapped by the sunlight as we rode over the green plains, but although I had lost hope, I rode on because I had to see this through to the end.
At last I spied the cave, its dark opening like the maw of death. I dismounted and led Julia into its murky depths, where I untied Avery, dimly aware of the
fact that Master John and Master Peter were now on one horse and would soon be here. It didn’t matter now, because they wouldn’t reach us in time.
I tried, I tried so hard, but no matter how hard I concentrated, I couldn’t pick up anything at all from Avery, not even a solitary spark to tell me he was still alive. I pulled him down off the horse, his weight knocking both of us to the ground. The blanket had come away from his head and tears sprang to my eyes when I saw his beautiful face blank, hard and white, a mere shell of the man I had fallen in love with. Crying openly, I eased myself out from under him and got to my feet. There wasn’t much time left.
I led Julia out of the cave where she stood flicking her ears, her large brown eyes gazing at me in a bemused fashion.
“Go!” I said not wanting Avery’s horse to fall into Master John’s possession.
She took a step toward me.
“Go!” I screamed and moving forward, gave her a hard slap on the flank.
It worked and she trotted away, but then stopped to stare back at me. When I advanced on her again she galloped away out of sight.
They would soon be here.
I went back into the dark, dank-smelling cave and knelt down in the dirt before Avery. Stroking his face, I kissed him one last time, his face blurred by my tears, then I stood up and returned to the mouth of the cave.
Master John and Master Peter were riding up toward the cave. Both of them spotted me at the same time and Master John leapt off the horse before it had even come to a stop. He dropped heavily to the ground before scrambling to his feet. He ran toward the cave.
“Luna!”
I aimed the gun at the roof of the cave.
The last thing I saw was Master John, his face writhing with the same fear I had seen earlier, when he thought he was about to kill me with the axe.
“Luna!” he screamed as he ran toward me. “What are you doing? Luna, Please!”
I pulled the trigger.
The gun blast was excruciatingly loud in the confines of the cave and I looked up in time to see a tide of chalky white rocks rain down on me. I crumpled like a sheet of paper under its might as the roof caved in and buried me in a tomb of stone. At first I didn’t feel anything, but then white hot pain burst across my head and chest and I tasted blood in my mouth. The only part of my body that wasn’t subjected to that searing pain were my legs, which were completely numb.
I realise now that I had never had any intention of making it through that journey. You see, I was certain that Avery was dead and I didn’t want to live without him. So, selfish to the very end, I didn’t think of those at the plantation who would be waiting for me to come back to them one day. I didn’t even think of Avery and what he would think or feel if by some miracle he was still alive and woke up at dusk to find me dead.
I only thought of myself and of living in turmoil without him which would be worse than the pain of mangled flesh and bone. When oblivion finally came for me, I embraced it, my last thoughts of Avery as all pain, misery, and life faded away and I ceased to exist.
Chapter Twenty Three
The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a hazy surge of blood engulfed in yellow flames. Then my vision cleared and I realised I was looking up at a beautiful sunset. I sat up, surprised to find myself alone, for I was sure I had been lying in a man’s arms. I’d even had the sensation that someone had kissed me on the forehead only moments before and my face was slightly damp, as if a tear-stained cheek had been pressed against mine. Caught still in the lazy snare of sleep, I looked around and saw that I was sitting in a field of saffron-coloured grass. And as the last of sleep pulled away, leaving me completely alert, I got to my feet and elation broke over me.
Sunset.
My nemesis had been forced to retreat and I smiled at that baleful fiery eye as it slowly sank beneath the trees. I looked down at my clothes, which were torn, dirty and soaked in blood, some of which had dried to dark brown crusts. There was also blood on my face and in my hair. But there wasn’t a single wound on me. I felt as strong and vibrant as I had the day that Avery had bewitched my mind.
This could only mean one thing. He was alive.
But why was I alone?
I spun around, expecting to see him behind me or walking toward me lit in the glow of the setting sun, but saw only a house, the same farmhouse he had shown me that morning.
Knowing that something was horribly wrong, I ran up to the front door. It was open and I entered a large living room with comfortable, solid wooden furniture. My Bible was on the table along with the gold cross he had tried to give me that morning.
I backed away from those items as that awful feeling of falling seized me again.
He was telling me goodbye.
“No,” I whispered as hot tears rose.
I stumbled outside, the setting sun seeming to mock me now.
I had fought so hard, and for what? I wasn’t going to let him do this to me. I ran, and for a moment I thought I saw him standing in the distance watching me but it must have been my imagination because he was gone the moment I laid eyes on him. But I ran toward where I had seen him anyway, stopping only when two figures on horseback rose slowly up from the horizon before me.
It was Jupiter and Father Geoffrey. When Jupiter saw me, a beautiful smile lit his face until he saw the blood on my clothes and it disappeared like a stone dropped into a lake. He jumped off his horse and ran toward me.
“Luna?” he cried, his terror increasing when he saw my tears.
“I ain’t hurt,” I said.
He stood watching me intently for a few moments and then slowly drew me into his arms.
Jupiter. Always there when I needed him the most.
I wept and wept.
Avery had left me. After all I’d said and done, he had left me anyway.
But why?
I wept in Jupiter’s arms.
Chapter Twenty Four
I waited for a month.
I spent every day hopeful that when darkness drew the world under its comforting cloak, I would be with Avery. But always I found myself alone at the end of each night.
I knew he was nearby, I could feel it in my blood, but he didn’t come for me and I was left in a deep dark hole, bewildered and utterly abandoned. And I couldn’t understand why he had done this to me.
So after that month, I accepted Jupiter’s hand in marriage.
And so began my long, slow death.
Over the years I did everything I could to forget Avery, but it was like trying to forget the sunrise. It wasn’t that I didn’t love Jupiter, because I did. He was my only reason for waking up in the morning. He eased the gaping hole in my heart, gave me love, joy and eventually a family. But whereas Jupiter was a man I could love and seek comfort from, Avery was a part of my soul.
The most agonising thing about those years was that I sometimes caught tantalising hints of Avery’s presence. It happened mainly at dusk, or some nights I would be jolted from sleep, convinced that he was either in the house or somewhere outside. But the moment I tried to hone in on him and draw closer to that heartrending lullaby, it was gone and I was left again with that unbearable pull in the pit of my stomach, a pull which slowly turned into a gaping hole as the years wore on.
And he continued to look after me and everyone I cared for. If there was ever a threat of any kind, it would miraculously resolve itself. If money was needed, I would find a large amount in a coat pocket or left in a cupboard. And true to his promise, he gave me the greatest gift of all one sultry summer evening, a few months after the birth of my son Dembi.
I was leaving the house with the baby to call Jupiter inside for supper before it got dark when I saw three figures walking toward the house. Two men and a woman. I almost dropped the baby when my eyes fell on the woman. They weren’t close enough for me to see them clearly, but my soul recognised hers immediately although I couldn’t really call her a woman, for she was no more than a girl.
With a trembling hand
to my mouth I called out to Jupiter, unable to tear my gaze away from the young woman.
“What is it?” he asked when he came bounding to my side.
I handed the baby to him and could only point to the three people moving toward the house.
“Should I get my gun?” he asked.
“No,” I whispered. “It...it’s...” I couldn’t continue and a tear slipped down my cheek.
She was closer now and I was simply entranced by how beautiful she was. She was the same height as Mama Akosua, her complexion like butter, and she wore her dark wavy hair in two French plaits. At first Jupiter gazed suspiciously at the approaching trio as he held Dembi tightly to his chest, his body tensed for action in case they should prove to be a threat. But when the young woman came close enough for him to see clearly, he relaxed, realising who she was and why I had tears streaming down my face.
At last she was only a few feet away from me and although I longed to touch her I kept back, my hand tightly grasping Jupiter’s free arm.
“Mama?” she said softly.
If I remembered correctly, she was no more than sixteen but she had the poise and self-assuredness of a much older woman. Her dark eyes were warm yet quick and searching, seeming to see and understand so much for someone of her years.
“You...you look nothing like him,” I was able to say.
“No, silly. I look like you. Now I ain’t gonna bite so give me a hug.”
Love, pure and absolute, filled me when I moved into her embrace, and I realised that it had always been there beneath the trauma and the hatred I’d felt for Master Henry. And yet I had abandoned her.
“I…I don’t even know what your name be,” I whispered when I finally let her go.
“Why it’s Lina. Same as yours.”
A tiny line appeared on her brow when she saw my expression and for the first time, her confidence seemed to waver as she looked from me to Jupiter. “Your name is Lina, ain’t it?”
