I hear Ty’s car pull out of the drive.
“Our clothes were still on.”
“Yeah, but for how long?”
“Ugh, seriously!” I love Ty and we’ve been together for a long time now, but I’m still not ready. I’m not about to lose my virginity ten minutes before my dad gets home. I’m kind of hoping it will be a little more special than that.
“I’m deadly serious. Are you even on contraception?”
“We’re not having sex!”
“You were about to have sex, and if you’re not taking precautions, you’ll get pregnant!”
“What?” Dad roars.
My eyes widen, stomach bottoming out. I turn slowly.
Dad is standing in the doorway, arms folded and face red as a tomato. If we were in a cartoon, steam would be billowing from his ears. “Where is Tyler?”
“Dad, calm down. Nothing happened.”
I look back at Iris and she looks between me and Dad, totally emotionless.
“Tell me what happened right now, Iris.”
“Um…” She bites her lip.
Tears pool in my eyes. “Dad, please, I can explain.”
“I’m asking Iris,” he replies tightly. “The truth. Now.”
“I came home and saw Ivy and Ty in her room.”
Dad takes a deep breath. “You know the rules, Ivy.”
“My door wasn’t closed all the way,” I tell him. “We were watching a movie. I swear to you nothing happened.”
“What did you see, Iris?” Dad asks as if I’m no longer in the room.
“They were kissing.”
“Just kissing? Why would you two argue if they were just kissing? Why would you worry about Ivy going on contraception or getting pregnant if they were just kissing? I asked for the truth, and I want it now.”
I close my eyes and want to curl inside myself.
“Tyler was on top of her.”
Oh God, I want to run away.
Dad’s teeth grind together. “You are sixteen, Ivy.”
“It wasn’t as bad as it sounds. We were lying on the bed. He was on the bed, not directly on me.” This is a conversation I never wanted to have.
“Go to your room, please.”
My jaw drops. “What?”
“Go to your room.”
“This is ridiculous! Iris, tell him the truth!”
“I did, Ivy.”
“You’re lying!” I shout. “Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?”
“Stop trying to make me out to be the bad one here! It was you in bed with a boy.”
Oh my God, I want to shake her!
“Enough, Ivy!” Dad snaps. “Go upstairs. Now.”
I throw my hands up. “This is unbelievable, Dad. Well done, Iris, you got what you want.”
Storming past them both, I stomp upstairs and slam my bedroom door.
They can both go to hell.
31
When I wake up the next morning, I am still raging that Dad believed Iris over me. Haley and Sophie listen silently, leaning forward as I dish the details at lunchtime.
Not that she would, but Iris doesn’t care that she totally dropped me in it with Dad. It was clearly her plan. I didn’t hear her come in, but I bet that’s what she wanted. It’s easier to snoop and be generally super creepy when no one knows you’re there. She hit the jackpot, though, when she saw me and Ty kissing.
She probably knew when Dad was due home, watched from her window as he pulled onto the drive, and then everything fell perfectly into place for her.
I’m grounded, Ty probably won’t be welcome in my house until he’s thirty, and Dad can barely look at me. All because our kiss looked “too heated” to Iris. We weren’t getting carried away or doing anything out of the ordinary for us.
In fact, her kiss with Todd at Alec’s party last weekend was way more heated than me and Ty last night, from what I was told, anyway. I don’t know when lying down watching a film and having the occasional lazy kiss began to look like sex.
Iris is crazy.
She hasn’t even apologized.
Haley and Sophie give me a sympathetic look, though Sophie doesn’t meet my eye. She’s been off with me for days now. “It’s not even like anything was happening! That’s the part I’m most mad at. He believed Iris over me. She’s totally blown it up, and now he doesn’t trust me!” I rant. “I have never given him a reason to not trust me. Ever!”
“Your dad is protective, Ivy. He’s going to imagine the worst,” Sophie says quietly. Her hair is back up today.
“Uncool of Iris to make it sound worse, though,” Haley adds.
“So uncool,” I agree. “She’s supposed to have my back.”
Haley purses her lips. “Wait. Do you think she’s worried about you? I mean, she was talking about contraception, right? She’s probably scared that you’ll get pregnant.”
“Yeah, Haley’s right,” Sophie says. Her gaze is on Haley and not me as she speaks. “Iris has always had your back. With the Logan thing she was telling people to back off when she overheard someone talking about you.”
What about when she heard you talking about me? Or when she was the one spreading the details?
“That’s beside the point. Of all the things she decides to be honest to Dad about. Hell, she wasn’t even honest—she made it seem worse!”
“Okay, you need to calm down,” Sophie mutters, holding her hands up. “We get it.”
Haley wraps her arm around my shoulders, her wild hair tickling my cheek. “Forget about if for now. You can make up with Iris later.”
“Why should I? She keeps defending her decision to tell Dad the embellished version of what she saw.”
“Well, she probably did that because she was scared,” Haley repeats. “Why else would she do it? If you’re grounded, it’s much harder for her to get around since it’s your car and you don’t like her taking it.”
“What? I’ve never said I don’t like her taking my car.”
The bell rings. “Come on, let’s go,” Haley says.
Sophie waves us off as she heads to her class. Haley and I have first class next door to each other.
Iris told them I don’t like her using my car? The sneaky bitch.
I’ve never been so relieved to have a session with Meera scheduled.
I get through school in kind of a blur. The teachers are still watching, so I force myself to ignore Iris and focus on the work. I’m pretty sure that although I have tons of notes, I won’t be able to understand any of them. Not that it really matters, since I’ll need to read the material again anyway.
As soon as I arrive at Meera’s office, my shoulders loosen and the knot in my stomach unravels.
I go straight for the blanket.
“How have you been this week, Ivy?” Meera asks.
I blow out a long breath and tug the blanket higher over my lap.
“Ah,” Meera says. “Start wherever you like.”
“Iris has done something, and I think you can help me get some clarity. I don’t think I’m overreacting, but I could be.”
“Go ahead. I’m listening.”
I don’t want to talk about the locker room thing because I have no proof.
“So…Iris comes home early and finds me and Ty lying on my bed, watching a movie. We were kissing and she freaked out.”
Meera cocks her head to the left. “Freaked out how?”
“She starts shouting that he shouldn’t be in my room when we’re home alone and he shouldn’t be on top of me.”
She raises her eyes from her notepad.
“However, Ty wasn’t actually on top of me. Like, his chest was half on me and the rest of him was completely on the bed next to me. Anyway, Ty leaves and we argue for a minute—m
e and Iris, not me and him. She follows me downstairs when he’s gone, going on about me not taking birth control and she thinks I’m going to get pregnant. That’s when my dad walks into the room.”
Meera’s mouth pops open. “Oh dear.”
“Right. Ty and I were fully dressed, my hands were on his back and his were in my hair. Like, how did she even jump there? She told my dad he was on top of me and of course he believes her. Now Ty can’t even come in the house, I’m not allowed at his, and the only time I can leave is for school, swim practice, or to come here. It’s so unfair.”
“Okay, there has been a lot going on. Did you speak with Iris and clear the air? Perhaps from her perspective your position didn’t look as innocent as it was.”
“I told her that, but she keeps saying she’s worried. She’s not worried!”
“What makes you think she’s not?”
“Because she’s not. She’s dated. She’s seen me sitting on Ty’s lap before.”
Meera nods. “Do you think the fact that you two were alone in your house is why she was uncomfortable?”
I frown. “No.”
Laughing, Meera says, “I’m only trying to work through Iris’s reasons to see if we can get some clarity.”
Sinking into the cushion behind me, I reply, “Okay. Sorry, I’m still worked up over it.”
“You feel that she’s let you down.”
“I feel like she’s thrown me under a bus. Only I have no idea why.”
“If she doesn’t have a motive, could you consider her reaction genuine? Again, just questions.”
“I don’t know.” I look up. “The timing was convenient too.”
“You think she was aware your dad was almost home?”
“Perhaps. There’s not much I’m sure of anymore.”
“You’re questioning your friends a lot more than usual.”
“Yeah, well after I found out Sophie and Haley have been talking behind my back, I’ve been suspicious. If my best friends can do that, anyone can.”
“How do you feel about Iris living with you now?”
“You mean, like, right now or now in general?”
She smiles. “In general.”
“Honestly, it’s fine. I think I’ve mostly adjusted. The only thing that’s hard is not having much time to myself. But she’s started hanging out with her friends more and more, so it’s all right.” I raise my eyebrow. “I’m not jealous.”
“I wasn’t going to suggest you are. Is there a reason you felt you need to specify that?”
“Because I know that’s how it looks.”
Meera nods.
“I just don’t understand why she would want to mess with me like that. She knew we weren’t doing anything. She did know that.”
Meera jots something down, and I don’t know if her note makes Iris look bad or me.
“Am I being unreasonable?”
She raises her head. “I don’t think you are, Ivy. We feel how we feel, and you are fully entitled to that.”
Okay, that wasn’t a “Yes, I agree with you, Ivy,” so I’m not sure what to do with it.
“How is your relationship with your dad recently? Before last night, of course.”
“Same. He still has as much time for me as before. Though I think he’ll be watching a lot more closely now. How do I make him trust me?”
“You can’t make someone trust you. All you can do is use your actions to prove that you’re not lying.”
“I’ve done nothing but that and it’s not working.”
“What are the rules regarding boys? You said you and Tyler were in your room home alone.”
“Oh, right. I don’t think he’s ever specifically said no to that. There’s a no-closed-door rule…which we didn’t break. I mean, come on, if we were going to have sex, we would have at least shut the door!” I throw my hands up.
“Would you like some water?” Meera asks.
I press my hands together in my lap. “No, thanks. I’m calm.”
“You’re angry.”
“Yeah, that too.”
“What do you think you can do to improve your relationship with your sister and your father?”
I shrug. “Iris is still a bit of a mystery. Sometimes I just plain don’t understand her. Dad I think will take time. Like you said, I have to show him that he can trust me.”
“Do you think you can have an open conversation with him? I’m sure the subject matter is what has blown this situation out of proportion.”
I’m sure my face has just set on fire. I feel the heat tickle the top of my head and the tips of my fingers. “Talk to my dad about sex?” I exclaim.
She stifles a laugh. “I think it’s a good way of showing him your maturity. Are you ready for that step with Ty?”
“No.”
“I’m sure your dad will be happy to hear that.”
“Show him I’m not an immature kid and he might believe I’m not?”
“Something like that.”
That’s only going to work if Iris stays out of my business.
32
I’m bored out of my mind. Not literally. Being out of my mind would rock right now. Today, I get to have a conversation with my dad about sex. I would rather slice off my own face.
First, I have to wait for Iris to go to the mall with Ellie and her band of cheerful bitches. They all think it’s hilarious that Dad busted me and Ty. I’ve heard her talking to her friends on the phone.
Ty hasn’t texted me yet today. I usually wake up to a message.
Iris is upstairs. I can hear her footsteps dancing on the floorboards above me. Her music is obnoxiously loud. I don’t know if she’s dancing around while she gets ready to leave or if she’s dancing around because she’s plotting. Either way, I can’t wait for her to go out.
Dad crashes around the kitchen, tidying up very loudly, making it crystal clear that he’s still angry too.
This house is toxic at the minute.
There is not enough swimming in the world right now.
I don’t even think I’ll be getting much snooping done today since Dad hasn’t been near his office. It’s like he’s scared to close a door in case I sneak Ty into the house.
I curl up tighter on the sofa and jab my finger into the volume button, turning Riverdale up. Today is a Netflix binge day for sure. It’s not like I can go out and have a life since I’m grounded until the end of time.
Iris’s music suddenly shuts off. I turn to the stairs and sure enough, she bounds down seconds later.
“I’m going, Dad,” she calls, ignoring me totally.
I look back at my phone and narrow my eyes. I click purchase on the cell phone charger in my eBay cart. Iris either doesn’t use it—unlikely—or she runs it down, keeping just enough charge to do her evil.
Whichever it is, I’m going to find out soon enough.
“Have fun, Iris. Home by eleven, remember.”
“Sure thing,” she replies, and skips to grab her shoes.
At least today she’s wearing her own clothes: a denim skirt, purple tank, and silver heeled sandals. Without a glance in my direction, she slams the front door behind her and gets into my car.
“Ivy, would you like something to eat?” Dad asks. His voice tight and controlled.
I twist my body and look over the back of the sofa. “No, thanks. Can I talk to you for a minute?”
He clears his throat. “All right.”
“Will you come and sit?” I ask.
He takes a second, but then he walks slowly to the sofa and sits opposite me. We usually sit next to each other when we talk. Though the subject I’m about to raise makes me kind of glad that he’s not closer.
“Okay,” I say, rubbing my hands together. “So…” My face sets on fire, skin p
rickling.
“Ivy, what is it?”
I can’t meet his eye.
Floor, please open up.
“About the other day,” I say quickly, pressing my nails into my palms.
“Yes?”
“I know what you think, and I know that you’re worried. But, Dad…I…” Oh my God, this is awful. “I’m not even thinking about doing that,” I blurt out, looking up at the ceiling.
Meera did say that I should be mature about this. But how do you have this conversation without feeling the full force of embarrassment? Look up embarrassment in the dictionary and you’ll find this conversation.
“When I told you that nothing is happening between me and Ty, I wasn’t lying. I’m not trying to get out of trouble here. I’m not ready, and Ty is fine with that. We’ve spoken about it.”
Dad clears his throat again. “I see.”
“So please don’t worry about…anything. Ty would never pressure me, and I’m not ready.” I feel like I should repeat that part about not being ready, really drive it home so he hears me.
He takes a deep breath and scrubs his jaw with his fist. “I’m glad you told me this. However, I once was sixteen. All the greatest intentions in the world don’t mean…things won’t happen.”
“What can I say to make you trust me? I’m not stupid. I won’t be doing anything until I want to.”
“That’s reassuring, but it doesn’t change my stance on this.”
“You like Ty. Nothing has changed.”
“Everything has changed, Ivy.”
“No, it hasn’t! You have what Iris thought she saw. I get that she was worried I’d do something stupid, but this has been blown way out of proportion,” I say. “Dad, please. You know me and you know Ty.”
He looks away for a long time and exhales. “It’s difficult to not think of you as a child, Ivy. I understand you’re growing up and you have a long-term boyfriend.”
“That doesn’t mean we’re having sex!”
My eyes pop. I can’t believe I said the S word.
Move past it. Move past it.
“Dad, I really need you to trust me. We’ve always been honest with each other, and I would hate if that changed. What do I have to do to get us back to that?”
The Twin Page 17
