When Spencer’s mark formed on my shoulder, the bond between us, which had begun when he’d whispered the mating words to me six months ago, finally developed on my side too, like a bridge that connected our two souls, entwining us together and preparing us for the claiming. For that moment when our wolves would be bonded together as well, leaving nothing in this world that could ever separate us as mates.
While lying in Spencer’s arms after he released me from the cuffs, I was equally as exhausted as I was elated. Closing my eyes, I let my head rest against his shoulder while I enjoyed the peacefulness between us. Then I opened my senses, tentatively reached out across our connection, and felt his joy at having marked me. His pride over my accepting to be his mate. All the fear that came before was wiped away as though it had never existed. I no longer had any doubts about Spencer’s love for me.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“For what, dream girl?” he murmured before gently kissing the top of my head.
“For being so patient with me. For letting me come to terms with my dreams and waiting until I was ready to fully become yours. Now that I feel it—our bond—I don’t know how you were able to hold off for so long.”
“It’s different now that I’ve marked you. Stronger in so many ways,” he explained. “What I felt when I mated you was incredible, but it pales in comparison to the connection we have now.”
I leaned back so I could look up into his eyes. “So you’re saying it was easy?”
“Not at all,” he disagreed. “I’m saying you were worth it.”
“God, I love you.”
“And I fucking love hearing you say that,” he replied, tightening his arms around me while he rested his head on the pillows.
This new closeness between us was something I had never really had in my life before. I had been close to my parents, but there had always been a lingering resentment towards my mom for insisting I keep a part of myself hidden from my dad. And I felt like, even though my dad and I loved each other very much, he didn’t really know me. But Spencer knew everything about me and still loved me—and now, he’d mated with me.
“I promise to tell you every day then,” I swore as my eyes closed.
The events of the past few days, my lack of sleep, and the rush of adrenaline that was leaving my system combined to make me incredibly tired all of a sudden. I felt Spencer’s fingers sifting through my hair as I drifted off, looking forward to sleeping in late and hopefully not waking up to another nightmare anytime soon.
Sadly, my hope didn’t come to fruition, because I began dreaming of Spencer after only a few hours of sleep, but there were slight differences this time around. When it started, I was remembering things that had already come before. The night he’d mated me. Describing to him my dreams about him turning away from me. Staring across the aisle and into his eyes during Grace and Hunter’s wedding last night. The euphoric feeling I’d had the moment his teeth had sunk into my shoulder and he’d marked me as his mate.
All my happiest moments with Spencer flashed before my eyes. I felt disconnected from the dream this time in a way I had never felt before during a vision. It was like nothing here could harm me, but it still hurt when I saw the anger on Spencer’s face.
“Mate?” he spat out. “You must be delusional if you think my fucking you means you’re my mate.”
I didn’t feel the same despair as I watched Spencer speak. The look of anger wasn’t as frightening, and his words didn’t hurt like barbs as they had every other time I’d had the dream. There were still tears on my face when I awoke, but I wasn’t sure if they were from relief because I wasn’t affected the same way by it or pain because the dream still hadn’t gone away even though Spencer had marked me.
“Same dream?” Spencer asked me huskily, rubbing my back in comfort.
“Yes and no,” I whispered. “The same things happened, but my feelings were different.”
His eyes held sadness as he looked at me. “I thought once I marked you, they would go away.”
“Me, too,” I admitted.
Then his head dropped to his chest as he groaned, so I rushed to offer him some reassurance.
“But look at me, Spencer. Do I really seem upset to you?”
As Spencer stared into my eyes, I knew he wouldn’t find any signs of agitation. A smile spread across his face as his eyes shone with happiness.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he started, “I’m happy as fuck to see that the dream isn’t bothering you. Ever since you told me about them, all I’ve ever wanted is for them to go away or for you to accept that there’s no way they will ever come true. And now, you’re sitting in front of me, looking perfectly fine after having had one of them again and I know I should be jumping for fucking joy here. But all I can think is why?”
Before answering him, I had to stop and consider the situation. It hadn’t been that long ago when I’d last had the same exact dream. The only thing that had really changed was that I’d had a conversation with Grace and Spencer had marked me. Those two things combined had given me a different perspective on the dream—a perspective that, I was relieved to know, was so deeply ingrained that the dream had even lost its power over me while I was sleeping.
I struggled to find the right words to make Spencer understand what I was feeling. And then they came to me.
“There are times in our lives when we don’t listen to our hearts. We do what we know in our minds to be true,” I began. “In those moments, we lose sight of who we are and we betray ourselves. Questioning your love, your devotion, was one of those times for me.”
Spencer’s arms tightened around me until I almost couldn’t breathe, and it let me know how deeply what I’d said had moved him.
“If you ever have one of those moments again, you just come to me and I’ll make sure you never lose sight of how much I love you.”
“I know you will,” I sighed. “Thank you.”
“No thanks necessary, dream girl. That’s my job now as your mate.”
“Oh, so, being my mate is a job?” I asked teasingly.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” he growled. “And don’t try to change the subject. Your dreams are important to me. To the pack. I want you to know you can always come to me about them even if it’s difficult for us to talk about—even if you keep having the ones about me—because I never want you to suffer through them by yourself. Not when I’m here to stand between you and the rest of the world.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the arrogance in his voice. Spencer was built to be a warrior, and years of having been the pack enforcer had given him an insane amount of confidence in his abilities.
“You can’t protect me from my dreams,” I said, softening my tone so I wouldn’t offend him as I reminded him that there was one realm where he couldn’t stand between me and the world. I was alone when I walked in my dreams. That’s the way it had always been and the way it always would be.
“Maybe not while you’re having them, but I can help you figure them out when you wake up and comfort you when they’ve upset you.”
“There isn’t usually a lot to figure out. I guess, with the dream tonight, the only thing I don’t know is why is hasn’t gone away. We’re already mated. The full moon is drawing near, and then, you’ll claim me in front of our pack. It can’t be a premonition of our future, and I don’t think I’m still having it because I’m worried about it coming true,” I explained.
“Maybe you’re not afraid in here or here,” Spencer said as he pointed at my head first and then my heart. “But what about your wolf? The bond will strengthen between them during the claiming. Maybe the wolf part of you still holds some fear?”
The idea hadn’t crossed my mind before now, but it did have some merit. “I don’t know, but it could be that. She’s a part of me, so she sees the dreams the same as I do. Maybe she doesn’t understand and still worries.”
“Then how about we let our wolves get a little bonding in toni
ght to help ease her fears just in case that’s why the dream is still coming,” he offered.
“How would we do that?” I asked.
Spencer jumped out of bed and pulled me with him. “We run.”
Neither of us had dressed again before falling asleep, so we were naked as he led me to the front door. Then he flung it open and stepped onto my porch. It was still dark outside since there were a couple of hours before it was dawn. Drawing a deep breath through his nose, he scanned the area around my home before turning back to me.
“I don’t sense anyone in the area. C’mon. Let your wolf come out to play with mine before the sun comes up.”
“Yes,” I agreed happily.
Wanting to watch him, I waited for him to transform into his wolf first. One minute, he was the gorgeous man I loved, and the next, an impressive, black wolf was standing in front of me, looking at me with the same dark eyes Spencer gazed at me with every day. He came to me and rubbed along my legs, his soft fur tickling me lightly.
“My mate,” I whispered, running my hand through his dark fur.
He let me pet him for a moment and then turned to bark at me impatiently, letting me know that it was time for me to change into my wolf so we could run. I reached out for her, and in a flash, I was on all fours and closer to Spencer’s eye level. He yipped in approval and bumped my side playfully before leaping off my porch and running towards the forest that edged along my yard.
Seven
Eliza
Heading into work the next day was strange when I knew I carried the mark of our pack enforcer, who was also beta to the alpha. I’d always done everything I could to stay under the radar, but that would no longer be possible—not with Spencer’s position in the pack. As his mate, I would have responsibilities that wouldn’t allow me to keep myself separate from the others.
I knew there had been talk about us before today. Wolves were nosy about each other, and when Spencer had taken me to his bed, I’d experienced more than my fair share of their curiosity. The guys had respected my need for distance, and my fellow she-wolves had backed off when they’d realized we hadn’t mated, that I was only the latest to grace his bed—even if it had been a while since he’d taken a lover.
Then word had spread about my dreams and how I’d helped save Grace. That’s when the stares and whispers had begun. It had seemed like everyone was confused about how to treat me. By the time the rumors reached me, I was surprised to learn that Spencer had been right. I found the members of our pack accepting of my gift. It wasn’t my ability to walk in dreams that had them confused—it was that I hadn’t been ready to accept Spencer’s mark.
It was almost unheard of in our culture for one mate to deny another. The pull was too strong to resist, even in cases when wolves were mated to someone their human side didn’t like very much. But there were rare occurrences when a wolf would refuse to mate or where a wolf was mistaken about someone being fated for them. In those instances, the ending was usually disastrous.
My refusal of Spencer’s mark after he’d mated me had made them wonder what would happen to their beta. It had also made them worry about the consequences if I walked away. But our pack members hadn’t pushed the issue with either of us because I’d continued to keep most of them at a distance and Spencer had glared and growled whenever anyone had tried to ask him about me.
Since I had grown accustomed to the stares and whispers over the last six months, I was stunned when all conversation stopped as I walked into the diner for my shift. Slowing my steps, I glanced around the room and realized everyone was staring at me. Parker was seated at the long counter, and he jumped up from his chair to greet me.
“Hot damn!” he crowed. “Never been happier to get stuck helping Hunter with work than I am today.”
He wrapped his arms around me as he lifted me off the ground and spun around. When he set me back on my feet, I looked up at his huge grin in shock.
“What?” I asked.
“Like I don’t have enough going on at the bar, but how could I say no when he wanted alone time to celebrate with Grace?” he prattled on. “But ha! The joke’s on him because this is the first time ever I found something out before my big brother. And a long fucking time coming, too.”
“Long time coming?” I repeated.
“It feels like I’ve been waiting forever to tell you this, Eliza,” he said, his grin slipping from his face as he looked at me seriously. “Welcome to the family.”
Tears welled in my eyes at his acceptance of me. “Thanks, baby brother.”
“Baby brother?” he protested. “I may be younger than you, but don’t ever forget that I’m bigger and stronger and faster.”
I couldn’t help but smile at his boastful tone and then blushed when I heard clapping and cheering all around us. Stepping away from Parker, I turned to find just about everyone on their feet with smiles on their faces and happiness shining from their eyes. Laughter bubbled up as I felt more welcome than I ever had in my entire life when members of the pack came forward to hug me and offer their congratulations. I was filled with the joy of the moment right up until a menacing growl filled the air.
When the crowd divided, I saw the only she-wolf who was still seated. She was looking at me with contempt in her eyes.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she hissed.
“Layla,” Parker said as he tried to shove me behind him. “Whatever the fuck it is that you’re thinking, trust me when I say you don’t want to do this. It’s over and done with. Eliza is Spencer’s mate.”
“Mate,” she spit out before jumping out of her chair. “I’ve kept my mouth shut for far too long, waiting for her to walk away and for Spencer to realize she isn’t his goddamn mate. He’s letting his dick do the thinking for him, and it’s about time someone put a stop to this fiasco.”
“Shit,” Parker muttered, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. “This mating shit can never be easy, can it?”
I squeezed around Parker to face the angry she-wolf, his hands wrapped around my arms to hold me back. “Fiasco? You dare to call my mating with Spencer a fiasco?”
Fated mates were a sacred thing amongst the wolves. To call our mating into question after the mating and the marking was an insult I couldn’t allow. The road Spencer and I had taken to get here had been hard enough without some bitch trying to cast a shadow on our mating. I totally understood that my hesitation had raised questions amongst our fellow pack members, but I had no idea that it had caused anyone to wonder if Spencer was wrong to have claimed me as his mate, let alone some she-wolf who had no business sticking her nose into our life.
“Hell yes, I called it a fiasco,” she snarled. “If you were his so-called fated mate, then it wouldn’t have taken Spencer a year to realize it. He’s not an idiot.”
Tearing free from Parker’s hold, I strode towards the other wolf. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but you don’t have any right to question the pace of my relationship with Spencer. All you need to know about us is that he mated me and I bear his mark. Beyond that, we are none of your business.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” she hissed. “I couldn’t give a fuck what you do with your life, but Spencer is my business.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me my mate is your business?” I demanded just as Parker lifted me off the ground to place me behind him again.
“I’m the she-wolf he should have chosen!” she yelled. “Spencer should have become my mate years ago, dammit!”
My blood froze in my veins as I heard a roaring sound in my ears. A red haze filled my vision as my wolf fought to break free so she could rip this woman’s throat out. Then I struggled against Parker’s hold, desperate to break free. But when I’d almost managed it, I felt him—my mate—and I calmed a little. Just enough that the haze receded before I locked eyes with Spencer.
“What the fuck did I hear you just say, Layla?” he demanded.
She whirled aroun
d to face him, and I was sickened by the way she smiled at him as her gaze roamed over his body.
“I’m sorry if it hurts you to hear the truth, Spencer,” she simpered. “But you have to know she isn’t the right woman for you.”
Spencer’s face tightened with anger as his eyes filled with disgust—and that’s when it hit me. All of these years, my dreams about him were never about his denouncing me as his mate, but about his confronting this woman about her claim. It suddenly all made sense, and I felt a little foolish even as a wave of relief filled me at this new knowledge. The tiniest shred of doubt that had stayed with me was now gone, and I could go through with the claiming without any fears remaining in my heart or my mind.
In the instant those thoughts crossed my mind, Spencer had moved into the room to stand in front of me. Everyone else had backed away and watched the confrontation with disapproval. Whoever this Layla was, she was going to be in for one hell of a surprise with the way today was going to go down.
“Spencer, please,” she begged. “Don’t go through with the claiming. Don’t lock yourself into a life with this…this imposter.”
“Shut the fuck up!” he roared. “Don’t you ever say anything about Eliza ever again. Not one single fucking word.”
“Fine,” she hissed. “I’ll leave your precious Eliza alone if you’ll admit to me and her and everyone here that she’s not your fated mate.”
“And why the fuck would I do that?”
“Because somewhere deep down inside, you know she isn’t,” Layla argued. “That’s why you didn’t mate her when she joined the pack. Why you used her as one of your fuck buddies for an entire year. And why she didn’t agree to the marking for six months after you mated her. Because you’re forcing this mating.”
I finally managed to pull free from Parker and stood next to Spencer. After grabbing his hand, I squeezed it to let him know I was okay.
Crying Wolf, Shoot for the Moon, Thrown to the Wolves Page 14
