by Barbara Lohr
“Two, actually. A gouache painting of the mountains and a modern metal sculpture. But the back room interested me most. She’s carrying some pottery, blankets and native jewelry.”
“I’ll have to check that out.”
“Made me think of you.” Okay, maybe that was too honest.
He reached for her hand. “Glad to hear you thought of me. You’ve sure been on my mind.” Warmth coursed through her veins like the expensive port her father drank after dinner.
She might wish she had some of that when they reached the mountains.
Brody went back to shifting when they turned off the main highway at the sign for Nambe Pueblo. “How did your father like living on a pueblo after being in Michigan?” Was the question too personal?
“There were issues.” Brody’s jaw shifted. “But they couldn’t handle the drinking. He’d get violent, I guess. So my dad slept in the back of his pickup out in the hills.”
“That sounds beautiful.” What could she say?
Brody snorted. “Trust me, cold and lonely would be more like it.”
“Sleeping under the stars, I mean. You surprise me.” The hurt on his face surprised her more.
“I’m not like my father, Carolyn. No way.”
“I know that.” Now it was her turn to reach for his hand. Would he shake it off?
Instead, he squeezed her hand back. “I’d rather be in front of the fire in my own home instead of wandering around in the desert like a lone...”
“Lone wolf?” she offered, another piece of the Brody puzzle slotting into place.
The chin tightened further.
“Your own name offends you?” she said gently. “But there’s such strength.”
“And a lot of loneliness. Which is why I didn’t take the whole name.”
“In school you were always surrounded by friends.”
“I like being part of a pack.” Then he rolled his eyes. “Corny, right? Forget I said that.”
She laughed. “Never. I’m going to remind you every day.”
But she was getting way ahead of herself. They were in the left lane and Brody shot ahead. It was Sunday, without many cars on the road. Strictly a reflex, she braced herself and grabbed the door handle. His boot came up off the accelerator. “Didn’t mean to frighten you.”
She sighed. “Doesn’t take much. I’m working on it.”
They exchanged a smile. “You mean the teacher needs some lessons?”
“Maybe.”
When he threw her that wicked smile, her tummy tightened. “Just maybe?” he teased. “I’m not a speed freak, even when there are no cars on the road.”
“Duly noted.” Her attention shifted to the landscape. Vast stretches fell to either side. Homes were usually isolated, with maybe an outside pen for animals.
He cast a look to both sides. “Seems every time I drive up this way, more houses have sprung up.”
“Mixed feelings?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.” His forehead wrinkled. “I tell myself that one of the reasons I’m in the building business is to ensure that new structures complement the landscape. No white boxes along the road.”
“That makes perfect sense. Your home is beautiful.”
“Glad you like it. But not everyone can afford a house that size. We also build more modest homes. The Wolf Group has won awards for economical housing.” He blushed, which was so darling. “Am I bragging?”
“Not at all. I’m proud of you.” Oh cripes. She was back in the role of teacher.
Eyebrows raised, Brody slid her a look.
“Okay, I’m not proud of you.”
He unleashed a gutsy laugh. “I shouldn’t give you a hard time. But I have fun doing it. It’s easy.”
“Easy? You think I’m easy?” She was teasing but for a second he looked worried.
“Miss Knight, I’d never say that.”
“Wait and see.”
He sucked in a breath.
A sign for the High Road to Taos came up. Time for some deep breathing.
“You okay?”
She felt his eyes flick her way.
“No problems here.” She was doing this. The road climbed. Carolyn hung on tight. Sometimes there was a shoulder and sometimes, not so much. State Road 98 was taking them through some rough landscape that was absolutely beautiful.
“There’s a historic church up ahead,” Brody said when they’d driven a while. “Want to stop?”
“Sure. Why not? I’m all for history.”
~.~
Moments later he pulled into parking lot. “Pretty great, right?” He loved this church. It was surrounded by a walled courtyard with two worn wooden doors as a gate. A bell tower rose at each end of the church, a cross on each spire.
“Looks like a post card.”
“People often come here to be healed.” Brody took her hand as they walked to the doors. “At least that’s the history of the church.”
The sanctuary was dim and cool when they entered. Right inside the door was a baptismal font. Over to one side, a door opened and Brody headed toward it. He knew she’d appreciate what was inside. “You’ll want to see this. This room is devoted to children.” The walls were covered with pictures of children. The kind that made hash of your heart. To top it off, a pair of crutches leaned against the wall. Sharing all this felt special with her by his side.
“Kind of sad,” she said, studying the photos.
“Hopeful too. At least I like to think that.”
After a short stop in the gift shop, they went back to the car and drove farther up the road. They hadn’t gone far when they reached a sign for Rancho de Chimayo Restaurant. “Hungry?” Brody asked.
“Starving.” No hesitation on her part.
He loved the fact that she enjoyed food. So many women were on diets. Dates could become a guilt trip. “This place isn’t fancy, but it is very cool.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’ll see.” He hoped she’d like it. After parking the SUV under a tree, they headed inside. The restaurant had an old country feel to it. Brody asked for a table in the back where sunshine flooded onto a patio. Bright flowers, probably plastic, sat in the center of each table. Relaxed voices filled the air. After they ordered, he sat and studied her, so glad she was staying longer.
“What is it? Do I look terrible?” Her hand went to her hair.
“Sorry if I’m staring. You look fine. Perfect.”
They gave each other a goofy smile. That was just the way he felt sometimes with her––goofy.
“Do you come here a lot?”
“When I have a job up in Taos. I try to leave early enough to drive the high road, either on the way there or coming back. It takes longer but the scenery is worth it.” Sure, he’d brought a date here once or twice but it didn’t mean anything. But with Carolyn he had to be careful. No way did he want her to think he had a string of woman. She seemed sensitive about that.
He’d been flattered by her questions in the car. Usually he didn’t like to talk about his dad. But Carolyn’s interest seemed genuine. At the same time, he felt cautious. He didn’t like being compared with his father.
They both settled back in the sunlight falling through the huge glass panes. Being with Carolyn felt so natural. Her acceptance of his history brought a comfort level Brody hadn’t felt with a woman until now. He enjoyed looking at her but wished she’d stop braiding her hair.
“A penny for your thoughts.” Her caramel eyes swirled with curiosity, the way they had in class when she was teasing out a point.
“Total honesty?”
“Always.”
“I’m wondering why you braid that beautiful hair. “
“I’ll be right back.” Carolyn left so fast that the woman at the next table threw him a dirty look, as if he must have done something wrong. Brody just turned his palms up and smiled. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.
Or maybe not. When she returned, her hair fell past her shoul
ders, shining like gold in the sunlight. It would feel soft on his skin. That much he knew. “Your hair blows me away.”
“Does it?” Flustered, she ran her fingers through the thick mass, and his own hand actually jerked forward. He was glad when the waitress arrived with the food. They ate in silence.
“You feeling okay so far?” he asked while they were eating.
“What do you mean?”
“The road?” He wondered if taking the high road had been a bad idea.
“Oh, I’m fine.” But that shake of her head didn’t seem casual.
Strictly as a diversion, he asked her about her parents. “Tell me more about your folks. They live in Chicago?”
“My parents are members of Chicago’s high society, if there is such a thing. They do a lot of fund raising for good causes. Foundations. Galas. That kind of thing.”
“Galas?” He was at a loss.
“Parties. Dinner dances where they raise funds for a cause. They go to tons of them.”
Didn’t sound like she approved. “So did you have to do that too while you were growing up?”
“No, they were for adults. That’s why I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. Worked out great.” Her shy smile came out again. “My father’s parents died young so the Stanford side was all I had.”
“Sounds like you grew up kind of lonely.” He knew just how that felt. His younger brother had taken up all of their mother’s attention––or what she had to give.
Their eyes caught and held. What passed between them was more psychic than said. That made him really uncomfortable. “Ready to move on?” He motioned to the waitress.
“Yep, you bet.”
He settled the check and on the way out took her hand. That sense of comfortable companionship returned. It was amazing how right he felt with her. When they reached the SUV, he turned. The urge felt so strong. The need, so deep. “Carolyn?”
“Right here.” She tilted her face up in a most inviting way. Of course he had to kiss her. Her lips tasted of tomato sauce. When she opened them, a jolt shot through him. He didn’t need an invitation to go deeper. His arms tightened while he tasted. Carolyn’s moan just about sent him over the edge. The tongue tangling got pretty intense when she molded her body against his. He could feel every curve through that soft denim.
And she could probably feel him. Her eyes widened. Pushing back, she grinned, looking pleased with herself. “Well.”
He tried to get his breathing––and his body––under control. “Ready to ride?”
With a sigh, she settled against him. “Just give me a sec, okay?”
“Okay.” He rocked her in the shade of that tree. I could take this forever. That thought blew him away. Being with her felt right. Like they fit together but could still be different people. The boisterous laugh of two couples leaving the restaurant broke the spell. Carolyn’s arms loosened. He opened the car door and she got in.
Back on the road, he tried to keep her engaged as they climbed. By the time they got to Truchas, they were high in the mountains. Beside the road, the ground sheared away. He felt her tense. Heard her breathing change. She was struggling and he felt terrible.
Brody tried to see it through her eyes but failed. The mountains were exciting for him. So damn breathtaking. Maybe if he slowed down, she’d feel better. After all, there was no traffic behind them. But even after slowing to a crawl, he could hear her little gasps, see her white-knuckled grip of the car handle. Up ahead the road turned west. They’d be away from this edge and he was glad.
“Stop.” Her hand gripped the wheel. “I want to try something.”
“What? The incline is steep up here.” They should have just taken the highway.
She was eyeing the road. “Can’t we get out just for a second?”
Brody glanced at the narrow lookout area to the right. He felt fine with it but didn’t want Carolyn to freak out. “You’re the boss.” He slowed to a stop. Walking around the car, he had second thoughts. Maybe this would only make things worse. But she’d asked him. How could he say no? Brody stumbled.
He could never say no to Carolyn.
That’s how bad this was.
They hadn’t even gone to bed together––and he sure hoped that’s where this was headed––but he was already totally whipped. This had never happened to him before and it unnerved him.
Face pale, she eased out. When he took her arm, she was trembling. “I’ve got you, Carolyn.”
The wind caught her hair and the curls danced. She looked crazy, eyes wide with terror. “Carolyn?”
“I’m fine.” But her chest rose and fell like a netted bird. He got palpitations looking at her. A tree arched over them, and he slowly walked her to the trunk. Any anchor might help. A thin metal barrier curved with the road, more a warning than real protection. When her eyes found it, she turned paler. He didn’t think that was possible. By now, he had both hands on her upper arms. She still was shaking. “I’m fine, just fine,” she said, her breath coming in short, tight gasps.
“The hell you are. Can you breathe slower?” She was scaring him to death.
“I don’t know how.” Her eyes flew to his.
He hated seeing her so afraid. Miss Knight, the teacher who could take on a classroom of rambunctious senior boys, looked terrified. Seeing her fear just about broke him in two. “Let’s try this. It might help.” What did he know? Taking a breath in through his nose, he let it out slowly through his lips. He’d seen this somewhere on the Internet. She was nodding like a bobble-head toy. God, this was turning him inside out.
“Right. Sure. Okay.” And that’s just what she did.
“Let your eyes sweep the horizon,” he said, pulling the words from someplace. Later he would wonder. “Breathe in, breathe out.”
Below them the land rippled with hills and peaks studded with pines and cactus. She kept breathing, slower each time. Her death grip on his hand loosened. All the while, he kept encouraging her. “You’re doing great, Carolyn. Doesn’t it feel good?”
“I’m scared to d-death. But I’m going to beat this.”
“Of course you are.” If he were ever this terrified of anything, he’d try anything to get it under control. Brody had respect for what she was attempting.
“I have to do this,” she gritted out between set teeth.
“You want to do it. You want to enjoy beautiful scenery.” He sounded like a travel poster. Santa Fe - the Land of Enchantment. The place to go to beat your fear of heights.
Slowly, the stiff fear melted from her body. Color returned to her cheeks. He dropped his hands and looped one arm around her shoulder. She fit just right under his arm but kept one hand on his chest. He palmed it with his own. They smiled at each other like two kids playing hooky. Her eyes warmed to sherry. “This is wonderful, Brody. I feel better. Much better.”
“Good.” He couldn’t begin to describe how he felt right now.
“My friend Diana told me I should do this.” Color brushed her cheeks. “Except she said, ‘jump off the pier.’”
He snorted. “Let’s not be trying any of that.”
“It was a metaphor, silly.”
Not again. Brody shook his head.
“An implied comparison. Life is the pier.” Then she frowned. “Oh wait. Life’s the water. Fear is the pier.”
Whatever. “Now I’m confused.”
“Right. The water is life. I’m jumping in. That’s the metaphor.”
He had to go along with it. “Okay, Teach. Right. Meta For.”
“Metaphor,” she murmured, gazing over the beauty below.
“So you explained this when I was in your class?”
“Yep. You bet.”
Brody pulled her tighter into his arms. “Think I was sick that day.”
“Maybe you were in the bathroom again, killing time. Making me look bad.”
“Ouch.” Did he ever dream he’d be cuddling Miss Knight one day? Could he ever have imagined she would need him lik
e this? Together they stared out over the land he loved, watching the shadows of clouds chase each other.
The world had never felt so right. When she angled her head, he kissed her. The meeting felt like more than lips. His heart was in that kiss. Would she freak out if he told her he loved her? The words formed on his tongue.
“Brody?” Breaking away, she licked her lower lip.
“Yep.” Were they going to get into a literary discussion again? He steeled himself.
Lids lowered, she looked so sexy. “More please?”
It was as if she’d hit the release switch. Starting with her forehead, his lips roamed over her soft skin until they found her lips again. She settled in with a sigh. His former teacher was in his arms. A woman he’d adored and, truth be told, lusted after in high school was now whimpering with need. Every muscle in his body tightened.
Slowing down for the sideshow, a car passed. Carolyn buried her face in his jacket. Although it wasn’t easy, he pulled away. “We don’t want to end up on Facebook, do we?”
“You started it.” She nicked his nose with the tip of a finger.
“Well, maybe I did.” He ran a thumb over her smooth chin.
Ducking her head, she climbed back in the car, smoothing her hair. He couldn’t help but laugh. In so many ways, Carolyn could be very proper.
But he knew a different side of her.
Then she turned to face the abyss again. His heart stopped. But if she felt nervous, she never showed it. Just yanked out the seat belt and fastened it. He closed the door, hurried around to the driver’s side and got in.
“Carolyn?” His hand touched her back. “Everything okay?”
“Of course it is.” She looked so pleased when she kissed him. “I’m fine. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Yes, it is. Wait a minute...is this a metaphor?” Was she talking about the spectacular view or their crazy kisses?
Throwing back her head, she laughed. “No, Brody. This is real life.”
Damn, since driving was a lot easier than figuring this all out, he pulled away. Taking the left turn toward Taos, his mind moved ahead while her kisses lingered on his lips.
Chapter 16
When they reached the flatter highway, Carolyn felt embarrassed by her relief. Still, she’d done it. Today she’d conquered a fear that had terrified her since childhood. Could she have handled this without Brody? Perspiration glistened on his five o’clock shadow. The effort had wiped him out too. His deep breathing to slow her panic touched her heart in a place no one else had ever reached before.
