by Ophelia Bell
Even though Nicholas had grown to accept Calder’s inevitable abandonment, he hadn’t been prepared for this. Being forced to face her in the flesh every single day was driving him mad, and it was even worse that he couldn’t stop picturing Calder taking her in much the same way Nicholas imagined taking her himself. Sometimes he even went as far as recalling those old fantasies he’d shared with Calder—the pair of them losing themselves together in that warm, wet retreat between her thighs—being immersed together in the scent of sunlight.
The dim sounds of voices reached his ears through the few feet of water above him. His lungs had begun to burn a few moments earlier, but he’d ignored that discomfort in favor of the need to stay submerged in the cool water. It would take a lot more than a few minutes under water to drown him, but he really didn’t want anyone to witness his issue if he could help it.
His head a little clearer than before, he swam to the surface and angled toward the far end of the pool away from the voices.
“Nicholas! Hey, Nick!” Gavra called after him. “Aurum’s not here. It’s safe to hang for a little while. I promise, she’s usually much more pleasant to be around.”
Nicholas turned his head and offered a friendly wave, idly noting that a trio of other figures had joined Gavra at the other end of the pool. He kept going, climbing out and swiftly grabbing one of the many clean robes that hung on hooks around the walls of the place.
“What the hell?” A collection of surprised voices carried across the water. “This is the cold pool, right?” someone asked.
“It was,” Gavra said, then laughed. “Nick, please don’t tell me you took a piss in here.”
Nicholas turned and stared back at the others, then looked at the pool, his brows furrowed. “No … what’s the problem? I just dove in for a few minutes to cool off.”
“Well, it’s about fifteen degrees warmer than it should be, and I was just in the damn thing this morning. It stays a pretty even temp. What the hell is up with you, man?”
Gavra gave him a scrutinizing look and hopped back out of the pool. The red-haired dragon jogged naked around the edge toward Nicholas, who shook his head to try to ward off any more accusations. His temples pounded when he moved, though, and the motion only made him dizzy.
“Nick, buddy, are you all right? Hey!”
The room swam as Nicholas mumbled another excuse. Gavra stood before him, his face blurring into two identical images. Nicholas reached out to grab at the wall, his fingertips grazing the cold stone, then his shoulder hit it as he slumped down to the floor, holding his head and grimacing at the sudden, throbbing pain that raced from the base of his skull all the way to his tailbone and groin.
“Get my sister!” Gavra called to someone. “Bring Numa, she’ll know what to do!”
Around him, footsteps scuffled, and someone ran out of the bath house. Another blurry body came into view, but Nicholas couldn’t focus through the fog of pain that racked his body, making him shudder as though chilled.
“Sweet Mother, he’s burning up,” a different male voice said.
The pain hit him in a way it never had before. Not only was it pulsing in his groin, his erection raging as though his pheronesis was in full swing, but a burning ache had taken up residence in his chest. Images of Calder flashed through his mind, of all the times the ancient satyr had eased this pain, their bond growing stronger each passing year.
“Oh, Gaia,” he groaned, struggling to keep the tears from spilling down his cheeks. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, no longer caring about the pain in his balls. He missed the bastard so much he thought his heart must be breaking all over again.
“Nicholas, look at me,” a smooth, comforting female voice said. Cool, soft hands cupped his cheeks, tilting his head back. He stared into a pair of emerald green eyes and inhaled the scent of cedar from her skin.
“Mama?” he asked through his haze of grief and pain. No, he knew this female, and as much as he believed her scent must be the same as his mother’s, she was a dragon, not the ursa queen who had given birth to him.
“No, child. It’s Numa. Breathe in, honey.”
He did as he was told, drawing in the crisp, green scent of her breath. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught movement as Aodh and Gavra both knelt beside him and also exhaled deep breaths. He breathed them in, emptied his lungs, then breathed in again, hoping for some relief from this unbearable hurt that felt soul-deep. After a moment, the pain in his groin subsided, his erection disappearing. His head cleared now that the pain of that issue wasn’t flooding through him, but the relief only gave way to more of the other kind of pain.
He was alone, not stolen this time, but abandoned by the one person in his life who had truly cared. How could something so benign hurt so much? He’d known Calder couldn’t stay with him. Their partnership was only temporary, had only even begun because Nicholas needed another male to survive his body’s regular hormonal fluctuations. It didn’t matter that they’d loved each other—it was never meant to be.
But it fucking hurt now like he couldn’t believe, and he could no longer hold back the tears.
“I need more,” he pleaded, looking around at Numa and her brothers, hoping they’d give him another, stronger dose of their fortifying breath that would finally obliterate the pain in his chest … in his heart.
The green-eyed beauty pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, Nicholas. The pain you feel now isn’t physical. My brothers and I can’t help.” She glanced at Aodh. “Where is Aurum? With Ked and Belah gone, she’s the only one of us with the power to ease his trouble.”
“No!” Nicholas yelled, struggling to rise again. “I … I’m fine,” he said, swiping his hands across his eyes, but the tears kept coming. He stumbled away from them and the trio rose slowly, watching. There were others still in the room, all their eyes aimed at Nicholas. He tried to remember their names … he’d been introduced to most of the dragons who lived up here … Rowan, Rafe, their human mate, Trevor—a good example of how the dragons had overcome their old laws. At least, that’s what he’d secretly thought when he’d met them, but now he hated the concerned looks in their eyes and the way they touched each other so lovingly.
They had each other. He had no one. Not even the promise of a mate had come to him in his dreams the way it had come to these dragons who had saved him. They all talked about it in hopeful whispers. Gavra and Aodh had shared more details about the mates from their dreams.
All Nicholas had was this aching pit of emptiness where Calder had once resided. And it fucking hurt. He’d have happily traded it for the pain in his balls again, but one thing he wouldn’t do was accept her help to get rid of it. Then he would have her in his head, rooting around in his emotions. She would know how he really felt. She would know that he and Calder hadn’t just been close friends and fellow prisoners for the better part of two centuries. They had been in love.
He made it as far as the door before the wracking sobs stole his breath and he couldn’t move. He struggled to regain control over his body, lifted his shaking arms and pounded at the doors. They splintered instantly and he was through them, running into the late afternoon sun, up the path, blindly racing away from these feelings that threatened to control him. He had no idea where he was going and could barely see, but he kept running. Uphill … he was going uphill, the incline forcing his lungs to take in more air from the strain, the oxygen calming him enough to clear his head.
He passed an outcropping of rock and realized he’d reached the peak. The vistas around him would have been breathtaking if only the dark ache in his chest would subside. Before him was a monolithic structure, an open-air temple of a sort, with six columns arranged in a circle and a huge domed roof above. The air within the space glimmered with power, and for the briefest second, he was mesmerized enough to be distracted from the tangle of emotions that threatened to strangle him alive.
He slowed to a walk, gazing in awe at the structure.
“Halt! T
he Pavilion and the Glade are off limits to outsiders.”
A trio of huge white dragons in their true forms stepped forward, the most imposing wall of scale and claw Nicholas had ever seen. The one in the center spoke. “Turn and go back to your quarters, ursa. This is no place for you.”
Nicholas didn’t move. Something about the power emanating from the structure eased that ache in him, if only slightly. It was almost bearable. If he could just … He took another step closer, ignoring the huge, horned creatures that barred his way.
Immediately three sets of wings unfurled and three huge mouths opened. Their deafening roars made him wince, but he took another step. The pain eased a bit more, even though his ears rang from the deafening warning. Perhaps he could just stand here for a while until the pain went away. Somehow he knew it wasn’t going to go away, though. He needed something that he wasn’t going to find with these dragons, or in this magic-infused place.
But he wasn’t ready to leave yet. The magic helped him forget, just a little bit, the reason for his pain. He didn’t give a crap that there were three angry dragons staring him down right now.
“Let him pass, Alvaro. He is our guest.”
The familiar female voice sent a shiver of pleasure through Nicholas, reminding him how weak he was around Aurum and how much he hated that fact. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw all four of his hosts walking up the path, thankfully still in their human forms. Aurum led the group and gave him a hesitant smile when she reached him.
“It’s your pheronesis, isn’t it?” she asked softly.
“Not that it’s your business, but this is different,” he said. “It’s too … too much.” His throat tightened with fresh emotion at being expected to share with her. “If I could just be here for a little while, it would help.”
Aodh had moved up and was talking in an undertone to the three Guardians who had shifted to their human shapes. Aurum’s intimidating white-haired brother looked at Nicholas for a moment, then at Aurum. “We’ll be going now. If you’re in the Glade with Nicholas, we need to reassign these three to the hibernation temple. There’s no sense guarding an empty Glade, anyway, and with you inside, it will be safe enough from intruders.”
With that, Aodh and the other three white dragons clasped hands, and the four of them shimmered for a moment before disappearing in a puff of white smoke.
Nicholas looked at the open path to the nexus of power that called to him, then back at Aurum. “What did he mean if you were inside with me? Are we all going in?”
A grimace flickered across Aurum’s pretty face. “No, Nicholas. Only you and I are going. There’s nothing more my siblings can do for you. I know you probably don’t want my help, but you’re my only hope of finding Calder, so I need to make sure you stay sane for the rest of the month until you lead me to the Source.”
“Why can’t you help me here? Right now?”
“You said yourself the issue is deeper than a simple pheronesis. Without a partner willing to commit to the physical bond needed to ease that need, you would need my siblings to provide a constant supply of their magic until we can get you to the Sanctuary. My breath can’t help with the physical part, but I can use it to ease your emotional pain. The waters in the pool inside the Glade will help with the rest.”
“I can’t ask you to do that any more than I could ask them to spend the next three weeks constantly clouding me in magic,” he said.
“You forget that I am invested in taking care of you, Nicholas.”
“Right. Because I’m your way to him. Can you please not remind me of that constantly? Why not just let me in there, and I’ll go for a swim and hang out for three weeks until we need to leave? I can deal with the … other hurt … without you.”
Aurum shook her head, exasperated. “You could try that, but the magic won’t remain effective for very long. You will build up a tolerance for it, and then you’ll be back where you started. We need each other, Nicholas. Please let me help you.”
“Is there food inside?” he asked, his pain having eased enough for his stomach to remind him he hadn’t eaten since midday.
Aurum smiled and nodded. “Anything you desire can be found in the Glade.” When his eyes narrowed, she quickly amended, “Almost anything. Besides, time passes more quickly inside, so before we know it, it will be Midwinter and we can leave.”
“Is it in a temporal bubble?” he asked, eyebrows rising with curiosity.
“Oh, nothing like that,” Aurum said. “It’s more a matter of perspective, like how the moon always seems to be in the same spot in the sky, even when you travel miles beneath it.”
“The moon,” Nicholas said, sighing. “I haven’t ever seen it.”
Aurum laid a hand gently on his arm. Her warmth sank in through the thin fabric of the robe he wore, and the touch comforted him. “The moon is always visible in the Glade, day and night. Will you come with me, Nicholas? Let me help you.”
She slid her hand down his arm and threaded their fingers together. Her gesture should have meant nothing, but it just served to remind him of all he didn’t have, and the ache in his chest flared up again. It began as a tightness at the base of his sternum and rose up into his throat, making it difficult for him to breathe.
Aurum was half the cause for this feeling—he knew that—but if she could help him get rid of it, perhaps he could find his way to some semblance of happiness through knowing the person he loved most in the world had a mate so caring and beautiful.
He took a deep breath and nodded. “Lead the way.”
Chapter 8
Aurum
Aurum’s entire body tingled as she led Nicholas to the center of the Pavilion and stopped on top of the Verdanith. The magic was the strongest here, but it wasn’t the power sparking in the air around them that had her lit up. It was the way Nicholas smiled at her and squeezed her hand, in spite of his very obvious misgivings over even being near her. She didn’t understand it; over the past couple days, he hadn’t bothered to hide his dislike of her. Though she believed it was only misplaced jealousy over her taking his closest friend from him, she sensed much more in him now.
She would have to wait until he was willing to take her breath to know for certain, but her power was enough for her to discern that the deep hurt he felt was for more than a fraternal sort of love. She knew he and Calder had been lovers … it hadn’t taken much to work that out. Nicholas was a young ursa who’d been raised in captivity. He would have needed a sexual partner to help him through his pheronesis. It warmed her heart to know that Calder had been that to him … that Calder had seen the young man in need and had offered himself to fill that role.
But now she thought they might have been even more to each other. Or perhaps Calder meant more to Nicholas than he’d let on. She wasn’t sure she really wanted to know the truth. What would it mean for her future with Calder if this young, unattached ursa male was in love with him?
She forced the question out of her mind as she pulled Nicholas in to face her and drew him close so that both their bare feet were within the outer ring of the Verdanith. He was an outsider, so needed to be in close contact with a dragon in order to enter. She would help him first, then worry about the state of his relationship with her fated mate.
His arms wrapped easily around her and his breath hit her neck, making her skin tingle even more. Between them, his cock roused. Nicholas groaned.
“How soon until we’re there?” he asked.
“Only a moment longer,” Aurum said, and exhaled a long breath that swirled around them, pulling the threads of magic that floated almost aimlessly around the Pavilion. A small cyclone of magical energy encompassed them, the cone pulling at them both until the world fell away and they were lifted up.
Aurum resisted unfurling her wings as they rose. Within a few moments, the lights changed and the firmness of solid ground materialized again beneath her feet. The blinding cloud of magic dissipated. She looked up at Nicholas then, and inhaled sharply at th
e intense gaze that met hers.
His eyes had changed. Where they’d once been an odd silver-gray with little specks of green, they were now shot-through with green tendrils, radiating outward from his pupils like the little veins of leaves.
“Where to first, Goldilocks? You seem to be the only tour guide in residence.”
Aurum tore her gaze away from his. She took a deep breath and turned around the center of the platform they now stood upon, in the center of the island that occupied the middle of the Glade’s sacred pool.
“In the water,” she said, turning back to him. “We’ll see how you feel after a swim. Then we’ll get to work.”
Nicholas gave her a nod and turned. As he strode to the edge of the island, he let his robe fall to the ground. Aurum watched, her heart beating harder than it ever had, as he flexed his long legs and sprang into the air, executing a graceful dive into the deep water. The little bear-shaped scar at the base of his spine seemed to taunt her.
He was an ursa, like her dream lover, but he wasn’t her ursa. That would be way too simple, wouldn’t it?
By the time Nicholas resurfaced, she’d regained her composure and sat at the edge of the island with her bare feet dangling in the water. He swam toward her and stopped, his hands braced at the edge of the smooth stone.
“Is this thing floating?” he asked, pushing at the island, but it didn’t budge.
“It just is … It’s always been here. The Glade is eternal. How do you feel now?” She smiled apologetically, realizing how pushy she sounded. She shouldn’t pressure him. They had the rest of the month in the outside world—or roughly two weeks inside the Glade—for her to make sure his pheronesis was subdued or sated, and to figure out what his other, deeper ailment was. She hoped it wasn’t what she thought, but knew she had to consider that possibility.
