by Asrai Devin
"We'll see," Mandy said, the stress coming into her voice. Okay, she stomped on that reaction. She would relax and enjoy the weekend. It was hard, not knowing where things were going. She was anxious to get physical with Kip, but wary of it at the same time.
She was over thinking the whole thing. She needed to relax. She heard the door close behind Kip. "Come on Cole, let's go help Kip bring our bags to our rooms."
"Are you going to sleep in Kip's room?" Colton asked, looking at her.
"No. I haven't talked to him in eleven years Cole. He was my boyfriend before your dad. But I'm not going to ..." She would not talk about her sex life with her child.
"It's - you've never had a boyfriend. And I thought maybe it was because of me. I,well, it's okay with me, if y'know you guys kiss and stuff. I don't want see the tongues and stuff like on TV. And the slurping is gross."
Mandy couldn't help laughing. "Thank you for telling me. And it's not because of you. And I will let you know what is going with Kip and me okay. I'm glad you like him. That makes things easier on me, because I like him. A lot."
"Do you love him?"
"I don't know Colton. Come on."
* * * *
Kip didn't mean to overhear. He climbed the entry way steps and they moved toward him. "Do you love him?" Colton asked. Kip felt his ears straining for the reply. "I don't know." That was better than, "Hell no."
He tried to slow down the loud thudding in his chest and ears. She would overhear that. It was bad enough wondering if she had thought about sex this weekend. He had no idea and he'd been too afraid to ask her. But he did purchase a new box of condoms for his side table.
He'd been thinking about it. He didn't want to rush her, but his body sure did. It had him on edge. He wanted her so badly. Eleven years worth of wanting. Even if she did give him the go ahead, he had to be careful not to be too forceful or too fast. Self-control, he could have self-control.
He showed Colton and Mandy their rooms. Both upstairs. He had thought about putting Colton downstairs, except he worried it looked too much as if he planned to seduce her. So he made Colton's room the one at the top of the stairs. The bathroom was between his room and Mandy's. Kip's was on the same level, on the other side of the hall at the far end.
They dropped the bags in the doorway. "Can we play Wii?" Colton asked.
"In a few minutes. I want to give your mom a tour of the house. You wanna play hockey? I bet you can't beat me."
Colton sized Kip up. "You're a goalie. I'm gonna go back and play my game."
"We'll be down in ten minutes," Mandy said. Colton ran off. "Walking feet inside," Mandy called after him.
Kip pulled her close again. "It was an excuse to get you alone," he murmured against her lips.
Soft kisses, turned to heated ones. Demanding. Mandy pulled away first. "You better show me your room so I know where to find you if I have a bad dream."
"Just so you know. I'm not expecting anything, having you here."
"It's been on my mind. Crip, I don't know."
He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. "It's okay. We don't have to jam everything into the first month. We have time. I will wait."
Mandy stretched to kiss him again. "I do want you," she whispered to him. "I haven't had sex in a very long time."
"Me neither," he replied. "So I have to stop kissing you now. Or I'll try to convince you." He led her down the hall and opened the door to his room. He'd cleaned earlier in the day, in case she wanted to come in.
His bed was a kind sized, sleigh bed. Dark wood. The walk in closet, the bathroom with a jet tub, built for two. He'd sat in there last night, imagined Mandy in there with him, a bottle of wine. Her naked, wet body so close to his.
She oohed over it all appropriately. They went back downstairs and he showed her his kitchen. He'd stocked the fridge for the weekend visit, he usually ate out, keeping a few snack foods in there. This time he'd bought fruit and vegetables, milk, eggs. "I only got snack and breakfast stuff. I don't cook too much in here. It`s all for show."
She caressed his stainless-steel, natural-gas stove. "I'll cook for you. Get me the raw materials and I will do whatever you want."
He caught her hand. "Vacation, guest. Relax," he reminded her. "No cooking. We'll go out. Order in."
"Cooking is relaxing. Dishes aren't so much."
"I do have a dishwasher." He bent to kiss her neck.
"My hero." She tilted her head to give him better access. He nibbled on her skin until she squealed and pushed him away.
Colton wandered in. "It's been more than ten minutes."
Kip stopped mid nibble and lifted his head. "You are right. Did you look through the games?"
"Yeah. But hey, if you live alone why do you have so many?"
"I have friends." Kip ruffled his hair. "Sometimes the guys on my team come over and play. Or people I know in town."
"My friend Mark, he likes the Oilers, but he said it was so cool I get to go to a game. Even a Calgary game. He does like someone that plays on your team. I can't remember his name right now. Mark wrote it down for me so I could get an autograph."
Kip looked at Mandy who bit back a laugh. "We can do that. You can meet the team at practice if you want."
"Maybe next time Mark could come?" Colton ventured. He was a courageous kid, willing to say whatever was on his mind. Most kids were cautious, not wanting to upset the adults around them or something. Kip admired the kid.
"We'll have to talk to your mom about it. And Mark's parents. Did you look at my games or what?" The kid gave Kip a hard time, so Kip would return the treatment.
He turned to Mandy while she looked at his dining-room set. She turned slightly and he could see she had her hand pressed over her mouth to stifle her laughter.
"Yeah. There's this racing game for the X-box. Can we play?"
"Your Mom has to approve first." He didn't want to piss off Mandy.
Colton ran around the divider between the kitchen and dining room. "Mo-om, come see. Let's play."
"I'll grab some chips," Kip waved them into the living room. The kid was a whirlwind. It was exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. He wasn't sure if he liked it yet. It was certainly scary as hell.
* * * *
Later in the evening Kip, Mandy and Colton sprawled out in the living room to watch a movie. Well, Kip watched the movie anyway. Colton had fallen asleep ten minutes before. Mandy's mind was now preoccupied with sex.
Now that Colton was asleep, she moved so she touched Kip from shoulder to knee. He smiled at her, kissed her forehead softly and wrapped his arm around her. She snuggled into him easily. The familiar warmth, the familiar smell. It was so easy to be with him again.
She pointed her eyes at the television. It was hard not to, but she didn't see the latest movie. What she watched was much older and the screen much smaller.
She and Kip had been together for seven months. She was still shy and quiet, but no longer as self-conscious as she'd been that day in the library. She held her head up in the hallway, she made eye contact with people.
They were given free rein at his house, so they spent a lot of time making out in his bedroom or the basement. Kip never pressured her for anything, he told her on their third date, that he would listen to her. In fact, for seven months he never touched her somewhere she hadn't moved his hand first.
She worried that she went too slow for him. She'd heard girls talking the locker room about blow jobs and fingering and sex. But Kip being Kip, knew she worried. "Mandy," he told her as they did homework in his bedroom together, "I know you think that you're going too slow for me. I'm not a virgin. But being with you is good. I mean if you wanted to, we could. Please don't worry about it."
"Will you tell me if, y'know, you need to?"
Later that night, four, maybe five months into the first year of their relationship, she gave her first hand job. She let him play under her panties a little as well, but the sensations his fingers had invoked in her overwhelme
d so she asked him to stop.
For weeks they played with each other, until that one Saturday night, they were alone. They lay on the sofa in the basement watching Bed of Roses. As usual, they were doing more kissing and caressing of each other than watching the movie.
He removed her pants when the condom in her pocket fell to the floor. They looked at it for a long moment. Finally, she met his gaze. He waited patiently. She shrugged. "'Y'know being prepared in case."
He kissed her softly. Those green eyes so knowing, and compassionate. He put the foil wrapper aside and continued to undress her, caressing and kissing her skin as it was revealed. "Have you been thinking about it for a long time?"
She couldn't meet his gaze. She pressed her face into his chest. One solid wall of muscle. "The past week or so. God, I'm not sure."
He took her hand and pressed it to his erection. "Tell me if you want to stop." He stripped away his boxers, let her hand play on him for a moment. He opened the foil and covered himself, while she watched in fascination. He rolled her under him on the sofa. "This isn't the most romantic place in the world," he murmured against her lips.
"Being with you is all that matters," she replied. Her body remained tight despite his preparations. As he entered her, she cried out at the intrusion.
"Stop?" he asked. She shook her head, determined to let him in. "No," she said into his shoulder. She put her bottom lip between her teeth, ready to bit in if the pain got too bad.
He moved slowly, dragging out the process, so afraid to hurt her. "Just," she panted against his shoulder, "just do it."
He nodded and captured her lips as he entered her fully. Christ it burned as her body stretched to accommodate him.
"You asleep?" a deeper voiced Kip asked, as he braced himself above her. No wait, that Kip sat beside her.
"No, I was, uh, thinking." Her face burned.
"What were you thinking about?" He looked at her.
"Nothing." She looked back at the television. "Watch the show."
"Oh, no." He poked her side a little, making her jump. "Tell me."
She shook her head. "It was nothing, I swear."
"If you kiss me, I might forget." She gave in to his teasing grin. She lifted herself and kissed his lips. He refused to kiss her back, so she took hold of the sides of his head and titled him to the side. She licked at his lips, then used her teeth to nip on him until he crumbled in laughter and opened his mouth, finally, kissing her back.
He moved his fingers up her sides starting at her hips. Tentatively, so carefully, he let his palms glide over the sides of her breasts. Then he cupped them, fanning his thumbs over her nipples. The tightened under the thin material of her shirt and bra. He pulled from her lips and pressed his mouth against the center of one breast. He breathed a puff of hot air into her shirt. He tongued her through the material.
Mandy thought she might jump out of her skin. She gripped his head, not wanting it to stop. But he did, he pulled away and pulled her tight, so she was straddling his lap, kneeling over him. "Were you thinking of that?"
Her head was fuzzy. "I was thinking about our first time."
"Is it a good memory for you?"
She sighed dreamily. "Of course, it is Kip." She kissed his hair. "Can you feel me buzzing? I'm easier now then I was." She rubbed his hair, feeling the silky strands slip through her fingers.
"Are you?" He looked at her. Then he glanced over at Colton's sleeping body. "What I'm going to do is let you go. If you could take Colton to his bed. Because though he's asleep, it feels a little strange."
That brought her out of her dreamy state. She'd forgotten that her son was there. She jumped off Kip and onto the floor.
Kip laughed. While Kip took Colton to his bed, Mandy went into the main floor bathroom and finger combed her hair frantically. She realized her make-up was smudging under her eyes, but she didn't have time to run upstairs to fix that.
She was more nervous than the first time she'd slept with him. This was Kip and she didn't have to have sex with him. He was fine if they cuddled all night in front of the television.
She was ready for it though. She'd been thinking about it since he invited her. She'd gone out on her lunch break today and bought a pack of condoms for fuck's sake. She would jump him. Starting the minute she walked out of this room.
God she wished she could brush her teeth first.
* * * *
Kip tucked Colton into bed. Then he stood there, staring at him with the hall light on. He felt a strange affinity for this being that had only walked into his life less than a month ago. They'd had a blast together playing video games, eating junk food tonight. Then during his visit a few weeks ago they'd played Lego.
It was scary as hell, this getting involved with a kid. He seemed to like Kip well enough. But they were only friends, getting to know each other. If, shit, he and Mandy decided to move in together, would this kid accept him as a father figure?
That thought scared and thrilled Kip. Fucking hell, he didn't even know if Mandy would sleep with him? Would she consider moving to a new city? Just for him?
He had no idea how to be someone's boyfriend, someone's husband, someone's father. His head spun as he left the bedroom. He partially closed the door before he made his way downstairs. In the kitchen he opened his liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink. A very strong one.
Mandy came out of the bathroom and found him in the kitchen. "You want a drink?"
Her eyebrows raised. "You okay?"
"I was putting him to bed. And it was scary. This whole kid thing. We like each other well enough. But what the hell do I know about being a father? The only thing my dad ever cared about was how I did on the ice."
Mandy put her hands on his arm, while he emptied his glass. "Slow down, babe. Kip, seriously, we are barely even back together. You barely know Colton. We barely know each other." He set his glass on the counter and looked at her.
"You're right. My imagination got away with me when I tucked him in there. I really like the kid. And he likes me. I've spent more time with him than I have my sisters' kids."
"Sorry, we are overwhelming you. We can go home early if you want."
His body tensed at the suggestion. "No," he exploded. He softened his next words. "No. Please, it's overwhelming yes. But being apart from you is worse. I hate that we are so far apart. It's harder to be with you. The way I want to be."
"You'll have the summer off. You can come stay with us then. Or us with you, or whatever. I have the whole summer off as well."
"What's that like for you? Does it make money harder?"
"I tutor some. Look after a kid or two. It's great. Mostly Colton and I hang out."
He wrapped his arms around her, reveled in the rightness of having her in his arms again. He tilted her face up and kissed her. "I love having you here. Scary as it is, it's so great. I hope you aren't put off by me doing all that boy stuff with Colton."
Mandy grinned at him. "I love that you get along so well. I love watching my two favorite people have fun together as you do. I'm amazed that you enjoy that kind of stuff. I don't get it. But I have my own enjoyment when I watch you."
He nodded. "I'm sorry I freaked out. Do you wanna go back in and watch the rest of the movie?"
"Honestly, I didn't watch the first part of it. I was thinking back to that first year we dated. How sweet you were, taking your time with me. Working your way to making love."
"You make it sound as if I should have pounced on you."
"You don't know the locker-room talk. Girls saying that guys could get it from anyone and they had to be doing all this stuff so they could keep their boyfriends. It freaked me out. You were the hottest guy in that school. And I wasn't opening my legs."
He kissed her eyelids, taking his time to form his thoughts and get the words right. "I guess I matured early. Sex with those kinds of girls was well, it was good. But you were different, Mandy." He brushed her hair back from her face. "I was so in love with you, I
would have done anything."
"Tell the truth. Did you tell the guys in the locker room we were having sex?"
"Of course," he scoffed. Then he went serious. "Probably. I was still a kid."
"I'm okay with that. I told the girls the same thing. Of course, we were having sex. I didn't want them to think they could steal you away from me. I had to start reading romance novels so I could pretend I knew what happened."
He couldn't help it. The thought of her telling those snobs things she read in romance novels was too much. He would have thrown his head back, but he couldn't keep his eyes off her. As he looked at her in his arms, he laughed at her. Those were the girls he dated before he'd known Mandy, these were girls he'd had sex with, unbelievable as it was now. "I'm sorry," he said when he settled. "I didn't mean to laugh at you. But the image was so funny."
"I know. I can't believe I needed to impress those bitches. They were so mean to each other, I couldn't imagine what they would say to me." She beamed at him. He felt as if the sun shone on him.
"I have an idea," he said, kissing her nose. "You want to get into the hot tub."
She glanced over at his stove clock. "Don't you have to get up early in the morning?"
"I think we're supposed to be on ice at nine. So we need to get up at seven. Are you tired?"
She nodded. "Let's go hang out in the living room somewhere. Listen to music."
"I think that sounds like the best idea I've heard all night."
"I'm really glad I'm here," she confessed. Her eyes shone and he thought for a minute she might start to cry. So he hugged her close. He couldn't handle tears, even out of happiness, it would set him off.
His heart pounded out the message, I love you. And he wondered, not for the first time tonight, why he couldn't manage to say the words.
Chapter 9
Mandy woke with a start. She wasn't alone in bed. She snuggled against a large warm body. And not under any blankets. Not Colton, she thought sleepily. She raised her head and looked at the body next to her.
Kip.
