All I Want for Christmas: A Contemporary Romance Holiday Collection

by S. L. Sterling

  “Great, thanks. Have a good night.” I walked out the front door, the cold air slamming into my face. The air felt like it could snow, and I still had a couple hours drive ahead of me. I climbed into my truck and started it up, music blaring as I pulled away from the curb, heading toward the highway, toward the girl I hadn't, wouldn't, and couldn't forget.

  2

  Cass

  Jingle Bells was playing over the radio speakers while I was busy putting the finishing touches on the Christmas display, keeping an eye as people walked by the front of the store. It was close to five, and the streets of downtown Coldhaven were still bustling with shoppers. It was almost closing time. I smiled as I placed the last Christmas book I was going to display in the window under the artificial tree. Maybe this Christmas would be different. I felt I was in a pretty good place. I turned my attention to one of my favorite customers, Cathy who needed to pay for her purchase.

  “What do you have today Cathy?” I asked as I went behind the counter.

  “Just a couple books for the girls,” she smiled at me. Cathy was a widow of one of the men who had passed away fighting that fire last summer, leaving behind Cathy to raise their two baby girls.

  “How are the girls?” I asked.

  “They’re doing okay, this time of year is hard on them.”

  I nodded in understanding, I knew all too well how hard this time of year was. I grabbed two Christmas bookmarks from behind the counter and threw one into each of the books. “For the girls,” I smiled.

  “Thank you. Oh, and Cass, I wanted to donate a few trays of baked goods for the fundraiser.”

  “Great, Cathy! I can send you details if you like.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  I slid the two books into a bag. “Here you go and thank you.” I handed her the bag, and she smiled as she took it from me and walked out the door. Just as the door shut, I heard Ray's deep voice come from the back.

  “Cass, sweetie, I got a box from the back door.” Ray came walking through the curtain that separated the store from the employee area, carrying a box marked donation.

  “Great! Those are probably for the book drive.” I giggled with excitement. He placed the box on the counter, and I started sifting through it. “There are some awesome titles in here. Oh look, the series May has wanted is here. I'll have to call her tomorrow. Could you put it down on the floor?” I asked, pointing to a spot behind the register.

  “Sure thing! You sure are happy this afternoon,” Ray said, dropping the box of books onto the floor. Together, we slipped into the back of the store, and he leaned in for a kiss, his arms wrapping around my body as he pulled me closer to him and pressed his lips to mine. We pulled apart when the little bell above the door jingled.

  “Hey, Cass!” I heard from the front of the shop. I stepped through the curtain and saw May walking toward the counter.

  “Hey May! Perfect timing. I was going to call you tomorrow, but since you’re here now, I have a little surprise for you. I just received a box of books for the book drive, and the series you've been looking for was inside.”

  “Oh Cass, that’s great!!” she sang as she grabbed two other books from the romance shelf and returned to the counter. “How much do I owe you for the series?”

  “Those were in a box for the book drive, so whatever you would like to donate. That’s where the money is going. I think I'm going to dedicate a shelf or two in here for the fundraiser. That way if the weather gets bad, the donations will still come in. Plus, the back storage area is almost full,” I giggled.

  “That’s great! I, of course, will drop in a couple donations for you as well. My ladies are knitting up a storm.” May was such a sweet lady, we had become good friends over the last couple of years. She owned the knitting shop down the road. I had wandered into her shop when I first moved here and was desperately looking for a hobby. I took a couple beginners how-to-knit classes with her until I concluded I was better at knotting the yarn as opposed to making those nice knitted designs. She pulled a fifty from her purse and handed it to me. “For the charity love.”

  “Thanks, May, it means so much to me.”

  “I know it does, dear. I know you're going to do very well. Now, how much do I owe you for the other two?” I rang up her purchase and was just finishing bagging her books when Ray came out front.

  “Did you want me to close up tonight, Cass?” he asked, leaning against the doorway, shoving the remainder of a muffin in his mouth. “Let you get out of here a little early tonight?”

  “Thanks, but I'm good, Ray. You may as well head home.” Ray had worked all day at his garage, and he looked tired.

  “Alright, I won't argue. Are you coming by tonight then?”

  “Somewhere between seven and seven thirty?”

  Ray nodded at May. “See you then, Cass.” He leaned in to give me a warm kiss goodbye and headed out the front door, leaving May and me alone.

  May gave me a knowing smile as I passed her the debit machine. “What's that look for?” I asked.

  “He really likes you.”

  I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks. Ray and I had been dating for a little over a year. We started out as friends—he had helped me out greatly since I had moved here and started the store. He was my neighbor and had started coming around the first summer I moved into the little cottage Jackson and I had owned together. He spent a lot of time helping me clean up the property, and I had been grateful for the help. We started to spend time together, and finally, he had asked me out. I wasn't sure how far things would go between us, but I was choosing to take things as they came. He was quite a bit older than me which normally wouldn't have bothered me, but twenty years apart got you some strange looks.

  “Really, May? You think so?”

  She nodded and passed me back the debit machine. “Yes.”

  “He’s a great guy. He’s been super helpful around here, and well, whatever happens between us happens. We’ll see.”

  “I've known Ray a long time, and I've never seen him so happy. I would even say, judging from the look on his face before he left, he may want to get a little more serious with you,” May winked.

  I didn't know what to say, I wasn't sure I would be capable of dealing with anything more than what we already had.

  “Alright, lovely, I'll let you get closed up. It's going to be a busy few weeks with all the tourists arriving next week for the Christmas season, then the book drive. Get yourself home and get some rest.”

  May grabbed her bag and headed out the front door. I waited the last five minutes, right until the clock read five before I locked up. I shut off the sign in the front window and started my nightly closing routine. It took me another half hour to count the till, quickly mop the floors, put the money in the safe, and make a shopping list for the store before I could leave.

  The clock on the dashboard read seven as I pulled into the supermarket parking lot. I had already sent Ray a quick text as I was leaving the store to let him know I was running late. I grabbed my purse and headed across the parking lot to the front of the store.

  I was wandering up and down every aisle, occasionally stopping to check out items, my buggy getting fuller every aisle I walked down. I rounded the corner to the next aisle and ran into Maggie.

  “Hey, Cass! You're in town late tonight. Everything okay?” she asked smiling.

  “Yes, I just had to pick up a few things,” I said, looking into my buggy. “Well, more than a few I guess. You were pretty busy today.”

  “Yes, I was planning to run over a coffee and fresh donut to you today, but I couldn't seem to get away. Maddy called in sick.”

  “Ah, that’s okay. Thank you though. I hope it wasn't anything too serious.”

  “No, I don't think so.”

  “Well, I really should get going, I'm supposed to be having dinner with Ray tonight.”

  “Yes, me too, the kids are probably starving to death,” Maggie laughed.

  “I'm sure. Rebecca ca
me into the store this morning and spent her allowance on books. Thought I would let you know.”

  “Well, at least it's on something other than video games. Oh, speaking of which, I had someone stop in the shop the other night and sign up to volunteer for the book drive.”

  “Oh, that’s great, do you remember their name?”

  “Well, off the top of my head I can't remember his name, he is actually one of Coldhaven Fire's new hires.”

  “Oh, I didn't know they were taking on anyone else.”

  “He told me he was a transfer, a young guy, really handsome. About five-ten, dark brown hair, crystal blue eyes, five o'clock shadow, and a body, girl, you should have seen. I'd give anything to be able to spend the night with that. I think his name was Brady or Bobby, something close to that, anyway.”

  A funny feeling came over me—she had described Brody, but it couldn't have been him. There was no way he was here, he wouldn't dare, would he?

  “Cass? Are you alright?”

  I said nothing, I barely heard her speak to me. I just stood staring ahead, tears coming to my eyes.

  “Cass?”

  After she said my name three more times and my phone vibrated in my pocket, I finally came back to where I was.

  “Are you alright?”

  “Hmmm, yes. Sorry. I'm fine. I have to go.” I didn't give her another chance to ask me if I was alright. I walked away in a rush, taking my cart straight to the cashier. I had to get home.

  Once I got everything loaded into the car, I climbed into the driver’s seat and just sat there, my heart pounding. I was still slowly healing from everything that had happened, and even though it had been almost three years, I still wasn't completely healed. To be honest, I probably never would be. I closed my eyes, praying Maggie had been mistaken, and she had described someone else. After everything, things were finally starting to go as well as I imagined they were going to go from here on out. If Brody was truly back, I had a feeling this Christmas was going to be pure hell, just like the last few years.

  3

  Brody

  I drove through the streets of Greyfield. Not much had changed since I left, it seriously looked as if time had stood still. I turned onto Oak Street and drove slowly down the road. The last time I had driven down this street was the night I left, running like the coward I was, in the early morning hours, away from the best thing that had ever happened to me. I wished I had been able to see it then. Instead, I had let so much time pass, I really felt it may be too late. A girl like Cass was probably remarried by now, and the bastard who got her would be the luckiest guy in the world. But I still felt the need to try.

  I pulled up outside the old two-story red brick house and just sat there. At first, I wasn't even sure I should turn the engine off, but I did. I couldn't help remembering the last time I had been in that house. It had been the day of that big fire down at the old factory. Cass had panicked when she couldn't get hold of me, and I rushed to get to the house. I had left my cell phone at the station, and when I got out of the shower and checked my messages, I knew she was worried. I drove as fast as I could, and as I approached her front door, she came flying out of the house right into my arms, almost knocking me over. I could almost see her running out that front door right now.

  That was the night that virtually ended us if there ever was an us. As much as I wanted to forget, my heart wouldn't let me. Instead, I remembered everything about it, the wound still so fresh like it happened yesterday.

  Three years ago

  “Whoa, Cass, what is it?”

  “You can't leave me,” she sobbed into my chest as tears fell down her cheeks.

  “Cass, baby, calm down.” I wrapped my arms around her, taking her back into the house and shutting the door. “What has you so worked up?” I asked, brushing the loose strands of hair from her tear-covered face and looked into her watery eyes.

  “Josie, she told me there were two firefighters missing at the fire. I tried to text you, but you didn't respond. I was afraid it was you.” She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the palms of her hands.

  “Babe, you know I don't take my phone on calls, I left it in my locker.” I pulled her back against my chest, holding her tight, rubbing her arms to warm them. She let a tiny moan escape her lips. I placed two fingers under her chin and gently lifted her head. I slowly leaned down, hesitating at first until my lips gently brushed hers, sending a wave of pleasure through my body. She backed away, but then leaned back into me, placing her hand on my cheek, inviting me in for another kiss. This time her lips met mine with force, and I gently pried her lips open, gently sweeping my tongue through her mouth.

  I shrugged out of my coat, letting it fall to the floor as I grabbed hold of her, lifting her so she could wrap her legs around my waist, my hands locking under her ass. I carried her over to the couch and sat down while she straddled my lap. As I kissed her deeply, I reached for the blanket at the end of the couch wrapping her in it—she was so cold.

  We continued to kiss, and as I ran my hands over her body, I could feel my arousal growing. It was when I felt her grind against me that almost did me in. I tilted her head to the side to expose her neck and started kissing her, while my other hand ran down the outside of her shirt, cupping her breast. I rubbed my thumbs over her hardened nipples, another moan escaping her lips.

  I quickly shifted out from under her, lifting her up and laying her down on the couch. I lay on her, grinding into her as I kissed her harder. I was crazy with want and desire.

  She put her hands on my chest, pushing me back. I didn't listen to her plea, instead I kissed down her neck, and ran my hands down to the button on her jeans. I fumbled with it for a minute, then flicked it open, my fingers dancing along her waist.

  “Brody,” she whispered.

  “I want you, Cass, I've wanted you for so fucking long, and now that I've had you, you’re like a damn drug, I can't get enough of you.”

  “Brody, please.” She gripped my hand, stopping me from exploring her body any further.

  I stopped, a little worried, and studied the look in her eyes. I wanted her, fuck I wanted her, and I could see the want in her eyes too, but something was stopping her.

  “Baby, just relax.” I slowed my pace. Kissing her slower, my hands caressing her body. I unzipped her pants and slid my hand inside her panties. Running my fingers through her wet center, I started running circles over her clit. She moaned into my mouth, arching her back as I kissed her deeply. When she was just about to cum, I stopped kissing her and watched her face. I wanted to watch her come undone, but again, she reached down and grabbed my hand stopping me.

  “Brody, please stop.”

  I instantly stopped, taking my hand away. I wasn't sure why she had stopped me this time, but when she opened her eyes, the look she gave me was not the one she had given me before—this one showed nothing but fear and uncertainty. I pushed myself up off her, turning away and headed over to the door.

  “Brody, wait,” she called from behind me.

  “I'm sorry Cass. I don't know what came over me.” I stood still for a moment, adjusting myself, then I turned to look at her, but she instantly averted her eyes.

  I placed my hand on the doorknob and was just about to leave when her hand gripped my arm.

  “Brody, wait, it's not that I don't want...”

  “I've got to go.” I felt like I was drowning. I had made a stupid mistake by ever getting into bed with her.

  I heard her calling me as I crossed the street toward my house, but I didn't turn around, I couldn't. I had to get away. I couldn't believe what had happened between us over the past few weeks, I didn't know what had come over me. I had promised myself I would never act on my feelings for her. As soon as I was safely inside my house and the door was shut, I leaned against it and looked around the main floor of my house. I had run before after Jackson and Cass had gotten married.

  We had been friends through college. I had crushed on her all through school, and
at times, I thought Jackson had known it, but I could never be too sure. He finally asked her out, the same day I was planning to. Of course, I never said anything, and I don't think he ever knew how I truly felt about them. I tried to deal with it, but after they got married, I couldn't stay. I ran and got a job up in Canada. Lately, running was looking like a great option again.

  Sure, I had promised him I would be here for her, but I was letting those feelings I had worked so hard to leave behind get in the way again, for real this time. We had been sleeping together for a little over a month, and things had changed between us. I couldn't do this to her, my feelings for her ran so deep, and I was afraid. She had just lost Jackson a year ago—what had I been thinking, making a move? I was foolish to think she would be ready to get involved with anyone, let alone me.

  My phone pinged. Grabbing it from my pocket, I saw a message from Cass waiting on my phone.

  Cass: Brody, please come back

  I closed my eyes, gripping my phone in my hand. It would be easier to walk away than to deal with having to see her. The hardest part of leaving would be knowing she truly needed me. I read the next message she sent—she was practically begging me to come back so we could talk.

  I walked over and threw myself down on the couch and ran my hands through my hair. I typed out a response to her and sat with my thumb over the send button, debating telling her exactly how I felt, but I couldn't do it. I deleted everything I had just typed and sat there staring at her message, another one coming through, followed by another one.

  I quickly sent a text to my landlord, got up and climbed the stairs to my bedroom. I grabbed a couple duffel bags from the closet, packed up the few clothes and small items I had, and went back downstairs. Then I sat down at the table with a piece of paper and a pen. Before I started writing, I sent off a short message to my boss in Canada to see if there was any work available. They were always looking for volunteer firefighters. Within minutes, I received my answer, and that was when I picked up the pen and started thinking about what to tell Cass.