by A. J. Goode
Even with the building supplies gifted by Pieter VanDam, his house couldn’t possibly be ready before winter. And while Will was willing to let them all stay with him indefinitely; his tiny home above his store just wasn’t big enough for all of them. The girls needed a warm, safe place for the winter; they needed a place where they would have enough to eat and a chance to continue their schooling.
And Caroline?
He glanced at her again as Will continued to speak. The ill-fitting dress and coat she wore were patched and threadbare, and she shivered in the biting wind. She had dark circles under her eyes, but her chin was raised in determination. His heart squeezed painfully in his chest as he studied her pale skin and lovely golden-brown eyes. The thought of never seeing her again was almost too painful to bear.
Her cousin Stanley stood on her other side. He was one of those who had been most changed by the events of the past week. Gone was the pompous, overdressed dandy who had swept into town a few days ago, replaced by a somber, hard-working man in borrowed clothes. He caught Adam’s glance and put a protective arm around Caroline’s shoulders.
As the crowd broke up after the service, Will caught up to Adam. “I got word this morning that the train tracks are cleared from here to Detroit,” he said. “Trains should start running again in a few days. Are you sure--”
“I am.” Adam cut him off.
“You know you can all stay with David and me for the winter,” his friend said for what seemed like the hundredth time. “It will be crowded, but we can make it work.”
Adam was silent.
“Well then,” Will said as the silence stretched out between them. “Did I tell you I’ve found a teacher? Her name is Victoria Dawson. She’s a widow, not some flighty young thing who will run off like the last one. She’s agreed to come out here next spring to start teaching. Isn’t that great news?”
“Great news,” he agreed. He made some quick calculations. By spring, his new home could be ready in time for the girls to return and start school with the new teacher.
If they want to come back. He couldn’t stop that thought from taking root in his mind. A new house, no matter how nice, was going to feel empty without Caroline.
Chapter 22
Once his mind was made up, there was little to be done to prepare for the trip east. Adam tried to ease the tension by telling the girls what he knew about their grandparents, but both Emily and Sophie refused to forgive him for what they saw as the ultimate betrayal.
“It’s not fair!” Sophie burst out as they ate supper in Will Baxter’s home on their last night in Serenity. “Uncle Adam, you need us here to help you! We’re good helpers, aren’t we? Em can cook ‘n clean and I’m ‘most as good as any boy when it comes to hard work! Please, don’t make us go.”
“Sophie --”
“Who’ll take care of Dumplin? He’s so spoiled, he’ll die without us here. And you’ll forget to eat and sleep without us to remind you. You know how you get when you’re working! Please, please, Uncle Adam!” Her voice rose as she pleaded with him. “We don’t need school. You can keep on teaching us. And Aunt Caroline can stay an’ we can have a new home even better than the old one an’ be a family!”
“That’s enough, Sophie.” Adam tried to keep his voice stern, but it cracked with emotion at his niece’s outburst.
“Don’t you want us anymore? I promise, I’ll be good! I’ll wear dresses and I’ll stop running and I’ll be a lady. I won’t embarrass you no more--anymore,” she corrected herself. She swiped at her tear-streaked face with her sleeve.
He couldn’t answer. He wanted to take the girls in his arms and never let them go, but he knew he needed to be strong enough to let them go. This was no place for them right now, not until the town was rebuilt.
“It’s not forever,” Emily said quietly, tugging at her twin’s arm. “We are coming back, aren’t we, Uncle Adam?”
“Of course!” If you really want to. “In the spring, as soon as the new house is ready.”
“Liar!” The distraught girl rose from the table. “You don’t want us anymore! You’re getting rid of Aunt Caroline and you’re getting rid of us, and . . . and . . . I hate you, Uncle Adam! If you really loved us, you wouldn’t send us away!” She ran from the room, her footsteps thudding on the stairs as she dashed away.
Adam sagged back into his chair, unable to breathe. I hate you, Uncle Adam. He watched as Emily followed her sister without a word.
“She didn’t mean it, Adam,” Caroline said softly. “She’s just upset right now.”
“Oh, she meant it, all right.” Adam’s voice shook. “I’m sending her away from the only home she’s ever known. Of course she hates me. I hate myself too right now.”
# # #
Sophie was contrite and ashamed of her outburst when she and Emily finally returned later that evening. By that time, it had begun to rain again so Caroline helped the girls out of their damp clothes and into warm flannel nightgowns before insisting that they both drink a cup of hot tea with honey.
Adam gave both girls a kiss on the forehead and held them close for a long moment before his wife led them away to tuck them into bed.
“Adam, may I speak with you privately?”
He started, surprised. He’d forgotten that Stanley had joined them for dinner and was still there. “Of course, Stan.”
Stan gestured toward the door. The rain had slowed to steady drizzle, so the men stopped under the store awning. “Pieter VanDam has offered me a job at the sawmill, Adam,” he said bluntly. “I’d like to stay here in Serenity, if it’s all right with you.”
Adam shrugged. “It’s no business of mine whether you stay or go.”
“Maybe not, but I’d like your blessing.” Receiving no answer, he went on. “I want to invite my cousin to stay with me if you are going to insist on sending her away.”
“Well, I guess that’s up to her, isn’t it? Or should I say it’s up to her fiancé.” He spat the word out and his heart raced at the thought of seeing her every day if she stayed in Serenity.
Stan laughed.
“I’m glad you think it’s funny,” Adam told him. “It’s a great joke. Dumb old Adam Phillips, married to a woman in love another man. Funny stuff.”
Stan laughed even harder. He clutched at the railing for support and doubled over with mirth. Adam fought the impulse to knock the other man’s teeth out.
“I’m sorry,” Stan wheezed, gaining control. “But if you think your wife loves Big Tom Little, you are a fool.”
“But she agreed -- “
“ -- to nothing. Hasn’t she explained it to you?”
Adam stared at him.
All traces of humor disappeared from Stan’s voice. “You really are a fool. My father was forcing Caroline to marry Big Tom to cover my gambling debts.” He turned away, contemplating the dark night sky for a long moment. “Big Tom is an evil man, Adam. She would have suffered at his hands. She came here to escape him. I’m a weak man who deserves Hell for going along with Father’s plans, and my cousin is practically a saint for forgiving me. I don’t deserve it.”
“She never told me --”
“Would you have believed her?”
No, he realized. No, he wouldn’t have believed her. He’d been so busy reliving Elise’s betrayal that he would have dismissed any arguments from Caroline as nothing more than lies and excuses.
“How can she ever forgive me?” he wondered.
“Start by asking her,” Stan suggested. “She has forgiven me for so much more, and I am just her cousin. You, my friend, are the man she loves.”
The man she loves.
Caroline’s cousin chuckled again at the expression on Adam’s face. “You didn’t know, did you? Oh, Adam, you are a wise man, but you just may be the biggest fool I have ever known.”
Chapter 23
The following morning dawned bright and clear. If not for the burned trees and ruined buildings, it would have been easy to forget that the world a
round them had been on fire just a few short days before.
There was little to pack for their journey east, so it was a simple task for Caroline to prepare herself and the twins. Sophie’s eyes were red and puffy from tears, and Emily’s chin quivered from time to time as she fought back tears of her own. Even Caroline struggled to hold back tears at the thought of leaving the town she had begun to think of as her own.
Their train was scheduled to leave at one o’clock, so there was very little time left to say their farewells. Sophie took time to hug the fat little pony before handing his reins over to her friend David. “Take good care of him,” she choked. “And don’t you even look at any other girls while I’m gone, you hear? I’m still going to marry you when I get back.”
David nodded, too afraid of her to disagree.
Caroline paid a quick visit to Grace Anderson, who was still bedridden. She and Rich were comfortably settled at Reverend Brown’s former home until their own could be rebuilt, but Rich shrugged helplessly as he showed Caroline into the bedroom. “She won’t eat anything,” he murmured. “She hasn’t spoken in days.”
Grace’s once-glorious golden curls hung in limp, dull tangles on the pillow, and she lay facing the wall.
“Hello, Grace.”
Nothing.
“How are you feeling?” She sat on the edge of the bed and touched the other woman’s shoulder. Grace shuddered at her touch. “Please eat something, Grace. You need to get your strength back.”
“Why?” Grace’s voice was little more than a whisper. “My baby girl is gone. Did you know it was a girl? I named her Angela, because she was my angel.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“She was so beautiful, Caroline. Perfect in every way. Ten fingers, ten toes, and the most beautiful little ears.”
“I’m sure she was,” Caroline told her, fighting the lump in her throat. “But you won’t bring her back by starving yourself. Please, just eat a little bit of something.”
“Why?” Grace asked bitterly. “So I can get stronger? For what? Not for my baby. My baby is dead, and I wish I was dead too.”
“You can’t mean that!” Caroline gasped. “Grace, your husband needs you. He’s hurting, too.”
“Good.” The grieving woman sat up, grimacing. “If not for him, we wouldn’t live in this Godforsaken forest. If he hadn’t thrown me in the lake, my baby might not have come too early. It’s his fault. I want him to hurt!”
She didn’t know what to say to that.
Grace didn’t seem to notice her silence. “I want to live in a proper town with proper doctors!” she raged. “I wish I’d never left home. I wish I’d never come here. And I wish I never married Richard!” Her voice rose to a shriek on the last words. Then, just as suddenly as her rage had begun, it went out of her. She collapsed weakly into Caroline’s arms, sobbing out the agony of her broken heart. Great, heaving sobs tore through her body, wrenched from her throat in wails that echoed off the walls of the tiny room.
Her sobs slowly subsided into soft, steady weeping. Caroline felt a gentle touch on her shoulder and turned to see Rich Anderson standing behind her, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Carefully, she pulled herself out of the grasp of the weeping woman and scooted out of the way as he sat beside his wife. Grace hesitated briefly and then threw her arms around his neck and clutched him. “I want my baby,” she wept.
“I want her too, my love,” Rich said. They clung to each other, no longer aware of Caroline’s presence in the room.
She let herself out and offered up a fervent prayer that the Andersons would heal together in time. A quick glance at the sky told her that it was already past noon. The train would be arriving soon, and she would be on it when it left Serenity.
Caroline walked to the train station, drinking in the sights and sounds of the town she had hoped would be her home. The sound of hammers mixed with shouts and laughter of men working to rebuild the damaged buildings. She thought it made a merry tune and very nearly smiled at the optimism that seemed to run up and down the soggy road.
Serenity would be rebuilt and its residents would survive. Of that she had no doubt. She only wished that she could be here to see it happen.
There was a small crowd at the train station when she arrived. Will and David Baxter were there with Sophie and Emily, Stan, and several friends of the girls. Adam, however, was nowhere to be seen.
She cocked her head to listen for the sound of the approaching train. She thought she could just hear it, but she couldn’t be certain. Her heart thudded in her chest and she looked around desperately for Adam. Surely he didn’t plan on staying away and letting them all leave without so much as a farewell.
Emily saw her first. She waved. “Isn’t Uncle Adam with you?” she asked.
“No, but I’m sure he’ll be here.” Caroline hoped she sounded more confident than she felt.
That was definitely the train she heard. It was getting closer.
Sophie must have heard it too, for she curled up a fist and punched David in the shoulder. “I’m coming back,” she declared. “Don’t you dare forget about me.”
“Ow! Never.”
They could all hear it now. Caroline squinted and thought she saw a puff of smoke against the clear blue sky.
“He won’t let us leave without saying good-bye, will he?” Emily wondered. Her lower lip trembled.
“I’m sure he’ll be here,” Stan said.
Caroline wished she felt as certain. He wanted her out of his life, but it didn’t seem right that he would let Sophie and Emily leave like this. She looked around one more time as someone pushed a basket into her hands.
“You’ll need food on the train,” Will said gruffly.
“Thank you, Will.”
He blushed and stammered something that she didn’t quite catch, but before she could ask him to repeat it, she heard a distant shout.
“Wait!”
She would know that voice anywhere.
Willing herself to stay calm, she turned slowly and observed a lone figure running up the street toward the train station.
Adam.
Chapter 24
Emily and Sophie hurled themselves at their uncle, both talking at the same time. Adam hugged them both tightly and tried to make himself heard above the cacophony of their shrill voices.
“I knew you’d be here!” Emily sobbed.
“I told her you’d be here!” Sophie cried at the same time. They laughed together through their tears.
“Of course I’m here,” he said. He was winded from his run, but he grinned at his nieces and met Caroline’s eyes over top of their heads. She longed to throw herself at him too and fling her arms around his neck, proclaiming her love for him. But he had made it clear to her that he didn’t want her as a wife, she reminded herself.
“Caroline.” He detached himself from the girls and took a few tentative steps in her direction. “Caroline, I -- I brought you these.” From behind his back, he brought out a bedraggled bouquet of limp, wilted yellow flowers.
She looked at the pathetic bunch of flowers and nearly laughed out loud at the forlorn expression on his face. “What are those supposed to be?” she giggled.
“I think they’re black-eyed susans. I wanted to give you flowers, but do you have any idea how hard it was to find any this time of year? Especially after the fire?”
“Well, thank you. That was sweet of you. I’ll enjoy looking at them on my journey.”
“Wait.,” Adam said again. “I’m not doing this right.” He reached for one of her hands and wrapped her fingers around the stems of the sad little cluster of flowers.
The whistle blew again, closer this time, and they could hear the chug-chugging sound of the train approaching.
“Caroline, someone told me last night that I’m a fool, and I’ve been out walking all morning trying to figure out if he was right. And you know what? He was.”
Stan cleared his throat, and she shot him a questioning look.
/> “Our marriage was all wrong from the start,” Adam said. His eyes widened as he realized what he’d said, and he shook his head. “No, I’m still not doing it right.”
“Well, that would depend on what it is you’re trying to do.” Caroline let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
“I’m trying to tell you I love you,” he cried. “I don’t want a ‘business arrangement’ with you. I want you to be my wife, my real wife, and I want to hear you say that you love me, too.”
One of the twins let out a squeal, but Caroline didn’t even turn her head to see which one. She couldn’t think. Thoughts whirled around in her mind and she savored Adam’s words over and over.
“But . . . but what about Elise?” she stammered.
“Elise is a part of my past. I’ve held onto her memory for too long.”
“You didn’t believe me about Big Tom.” The pain of his accusations still stung when she thought about them.
He bowed his head. “I was wrong. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
“I -- yes, I forgive you, but-- but, Adam, you’re sending me away.”
“Do you love me?”
“I . . .” There was a whoosh of air as the train pulled into the station behind them. She looked over her shoulder at the train and down at the expectant faces of the twins. Her gaze travelled back to Adam, who had begun to look crestfallen.
“Caroline? Do you?” A lone tear slipped out from beneath her lashes, and he reached out to touch it with a gentle fingertip. She took a long, quivering breath.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I think I fell in love with you when I met you right here at the train station.”
He let out a whoop and took her in his arms, swinging her around and around until she shrieked at him to put her down. Ever so slowly, he lowered her feet to the ground and gazed into her eyes with such intensity that she shivered.
