Seth’s heart lurched when Lucy said the word “cancer.” Like most people, when he thought about that fatal condition, fear seized him. Both his parents had died from different types of it, and he knew very well how it affected not just the patient, but their families as well.
“Why didn’t you ask a friend to help you?” Seth demanded when he realized she’d been dealing with the situation on her own all this time. “Why isn’t Chris or Amber here?”
Lucy sighed and dropped her head onto the tiny table. For a moment Seth thought she’d passed out, but before he could react, she sat back up and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her hoodie.
“I don’t have any friends,” she admitted. “Jacob is my life. Between work and my son, I don’t have time to mingle with the natives,” she snapped.
When Seth sat back in his chair and crossed his arms in defense, her angry expression fell.
“I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized. “I’m tired. I’m always so tired,” she confessed and sniffled. “Up until now, Chris has been flying in to sit with Jacob, but now that I need chemotherapy and radiation, I’ll need to stay around the clock at the hospital for a couple of weeks. Chris doesn’t have time off available and Amber just got a promotion, so she can’t leave work yet. But I promise you, just as soon as Chris is able, he’ll be here and you can go about your life.”
“Hey,” Seth barked in resentment and quickly placed his hand on her shoulder when she started to get up. “I’m not complaining. Chris is like a brother to me -” His voice trailed off when his next thought was that Lucy was anything but like a little sister. How did he explain his affection and tie to her? How could he without sounding like a player or perv?
“You and I shared a connection,” he insisted and was pleased with his choice of words. “We had a great time and I’d like to think we could consider ourselves friends at this point. When my friends need me, I’m there,” he insisted. He nodded to accentuate his pleasure with the speech.
Lucy sniffled again and mopped at the tear treks on her face; her long sleeves flapping with the motion. They were at least two inches too long for her and upon closer inspection; he realized all her clothes appeared at least two sizes too large for her.
“Thank you,” she murmured, snapping him out of his scrutinizing gaze. “You have no idea how hard it was to call you,” she admitted and Seth felt insulted for a brief moment. But he quickly reminded himself that he hadn’t so much as called or texted her since their one-night stand, so what reason would she have to turn to him?
“Don’t worry,” Seth patted her shoulder again. “Uncle Seth is here and I’ll take care of Jacob while you get yourself better.”
Lucy smiled and nodded before rising to go pour them both a cup of coffee. Watching her as she moved away from him, Seth couldn’t help but feel like he’d finally come home. All the money, flashy cars, mansion, loose girls; none of it made him feel as complete as being with Lucy in her shabby little apartment.
But just as quickly as those thoughts occurred, he banished them to the far recesses of his mind. After losing his parents, he’d vowed to never again love anyone. If he didn’t love anyone, he wouldn’t be hurt when he lost them. And Lucy now Lucy has the same disease that took his parents away from him.
He didn’t love Lucy, couldn’t love Lucy, or her son. He didn’t want that kind of life. Marriage was for poor, ordinary schmucks, not for superstars like him. And kids, the last thing he wanted was a little Seth Landers running around. Ah, hell no, he thought to himself. He was perfectly happy with his fast lifestyle; the love ‘em and leave ‘em method. He didn’t need anything or anyone else.
“Yea, just keep tellin’ yourself that bud,” he murmured softly to himself.
Lucy
Lucy tried to pour two cups of coffee without spilling it all over the place. Her hands trembled so bad, she feared she’d drop the carafe.
So far, so good. She’d managed to stick to the basics. No extended excuses or explanations. She didn’t want to outright lie to him, but should he prove to be undependable or unsuitable for Jacob, she’d take this secret to the grave. She just hoped Chris came soon.
Taking a tray, she placed both cups on it, along with the sugar and cream bowls. She wasn’t sure if he’d eaten or not, so she grabbed a bag of chocolate chip cookies from the pantry. She headed back into the dining area with the loaded tray and jumped when Seth leapt from his seat to take it from her.
“Let me get that,” he murmured and Lucy thought she saw a faint blush creep up his neck. The action touched her deeply but she firmly reminded herself that he hadn’t wanted the kind of lifestyle she lived. No family for him.
“Thank you,” Lucy said and reclaimed her chair. Seth grabbed a cup and began sipping the black liquid straight. Cringing at the thought of that bitter, vile flavor, Lucy set to loading hers with sugar and cream. Taking a cookie, she nibbled at it and sipped at her delicious drink.
“So,” Seth broke the silence after a few awkward moments of sipping and nibbling. “What have they done so far in the form of treatment?” he asked. “You mentioned goin’ in for chemo and radiation.”
Lucy sat her cup back on the table and brushed some stray crumbs from her lap.
“After the mammogram detected the cyst, they surgically removed it and when the biopsy came back malignant, they went back in and removed all the surrounding tissue,” she explained. “It wouldn’t be enough to merely remove my breast, so the next step is chemo.” Her hand immediately went to her ponytail. She hated the thought of her thick hair falling out but given the choice between death or losing her hair, she’d be bald any day.
She’d already bought a wig in anticipation. Her doctor had assured her that they’d caught it early enough that she’d pull through, but warned that the chemo and radiation would drastically weaken her. She’d already lost close to forty pounds out of pure stress. She’d been warned that she’d lose much more before it all ended.
She released her ponytail and reclaimed her cup, using the warmth emanating from the ceramic receptacle as comfort. She hadn’t gone into much detail with Chris and she refused to with Seth. She’d already had a Last Will drawn up, declaring Chris and Amber as Jacob’s guardians.
“What are my marchin’ orders Commander?” Seth asked and Lucy laughed, allowing some of the tension to leave her body with the expression. His charisma was one of the things that had once attracted her to Seth. That, and his sheer sexiness.
She rose from the table and went to her bedroom to retrieve the folder she’d put together after getting off the phone with Seth last night. Walking back into the living room, she stopped when she saw that Jacob had found his baseball cards and were currently showing them to Seth. Her breath hitched when she watched her little boy crawl into Seth’s lap and settle himself before engaging in a conversation as old as time.
Heading over to them, she gently placed the folder on the table and froze when two identical sets of blue eyes rose to meet hers.
Lord help me, she thought to herself. I think I have a higher chance of surviving the cancer than this.
Nodding toward the folder, she filled Seth in on everything he needed to know in order to take care of Jacob. She hated leaving her son in the hands of a virtual stranger, but knew she had no choice. She rattled off Jacob’s food allergies, reiterated his bedtime – much to the little boy’s aggravation – and stressed that they were not, under any circumstances, to leave town, throw a party, make long distance phone calls or invite any girls over.
Jacob laughed, but she caught a gleam of resentment in Seth’s eyes. She’d evidently hit a nerve with him but ignored his reaction in lieu of pulling her son into her arms for one last cuddle.
“I love you, Little Bit,” she murmured and placed him back on his feet beside Seth’s chair. “Be good for Mr. Seth and he’ll bring you to see me soon.” Leaning down, she pressed a kiss to his forehead and ruffled his hair playfully.
“Do I get a kiss too?” Se
th inquired and Lucy merely laughed and shook her head.
“No kisses for the babysitter,” she informed him with a smile. “Take care of my son,” she challenged gently. “This is a big job. I’ve never trusted anyone but my brother, his wife and daycare with him.”
Seth nodded, his face serious and solemn.
“I swear on my pitchin’ arm that he is in good hands,” he boasted and pulled the child back into his lap, tickling his ribs gently.
Lucy smiled, retrieved her rolling suitcase and left the two of them alone, wrestling and laughing. She thanked God she left to the sounds of laughter and happiness instead of wails of fear and a child’s tantrum.
Seth
Two days later…
“C’mon buddy, we have to get goin’ before we miss visitin’ hours,” Seth called from the kitchen where he was busy rinsing his coffee mug. He’d enjoyed two fun-filled days with a walking question-machine. He’d been asked everything from how he’d learned to throw a ball so fast, to where babies came from?
The first was easy to explain, the second; not so much. With a hasty “they come from Target,” he’d managed to appease the little guy’s curiosity long enough to get him interested in something else.
Both bathtime and bedtime had been tricky, but together they’d muddled through it. Seth hadn’t had much success getting the kid to brush his teeth, but hey, they were just baby teeth and he’d lose them anyway, so did it really matter in the long run?
They’d gorged on pizza, chips and cola to the point that Seth feared the kid would develop diabetes or high blood pressure, but at the end of the day – after bath time – he’d found great pleasure in relaxing on the worn sofa and watching cartoons with the little guy.
They’d also played so many games on the Wii that’d he soon found himself having more fun than he’d ever thought possible; especially considering he’d been the responsible one at the party. Jacob was the smartest, bravest and most interesting kid Seth had ever met.
He marveled at how Lucy had managed to raise such a perfect kid. He’d had so much fun, that he’d soon found himself wondering if he’d be a good father.
“I’m ready,” a small voice declared from the kitchen doorway. Seth turned and nearly doubled over in laughter.
“You sure you wanna wear that?” he asked after pulling himself together.
Jacob looked down at his blue sweat-suit, red cape and boots and then back at Seth.
“Why not?” Jacob challenged with a familiar gleam in his eye. Seth knew the look well; he’d used it often in his own youth. It hadn’t taken many instances to realize the method didn’t work for him, he decided to let the kid have this one.
“Looks good to me,” Seth agreed. “Grab your coat,” he insisted and grabbing the apartment keys Lucy left for him, they headed for the hospital.
Seth pulled his rental car into the hospital visitor’s parking lot and cursed his choice to go with the flashy sports car. Of course, he’d thought to impress his former lover with a hot car before he’d known the circumstances of her request for help. He tilted the rearview mirror and studied the kid in the back seat.
He’d had hell getting the booster seat strapped into the crowded area and knew Jacob wasn’t exactly comfortable as the seat raised him enough so that his head touched the headliner of the car.
“Sorry bud,” Seth murmured. “I guess I should have gotten a minivan huh?”
Jacob smiled and shoved his glasses back onto his nose. Seth had figured out the kid had the habit of doing that when he was nervous.
“Don’t worry,” Seth reassured Jacob and turned the car off. “I know your mom is excited to see you,” he said and got out of the car, heading around to the passenger side so he could get Jacob from the back.
“I know,” Jacob replied after he’d gotten out and reached for Seth’s hand. “I just hope she’s feeling better.”
Suddenly inspiration struck like a bolt of lightning. As they headed through the automatic double doors of the front entrance, Seth spotted the gift shop.
“How about we stop at the flower shop and get your mom some flowers?” Seth suggested and laughed when Jacob grinned up at him.
They shopped long enough for Jacob to pick out some yellow daisies, which he claimed was his mom’s favorite flower and then they rode the elevator to the fifth floor. Seth made sure to keep a firm grip on Jacob’s tiny hand lest they get separated. He feared Lucy’s wrath should anything happen to her son while in his care.
Jacob, clad in his superman outfit, stepped off the elevator gripping the slender vase of flowers with both hands. Seth tucked his finger in the neckline of Jacob’s red cape and turned him toward the nurse’s station when his little red boots veered off to the left.
“We’re here to see Lucy Conlay,” Seth spoke softly to the young blonde-headed nurse when she smiled up at him.
“Visiting hours is for family only,” she announced and continued to smile up at him. “Are you family?” she asked and Seth didn’t miss the salacious gleam in her eyes. Realizing the pretty little thing was asking if he was Lucy’s boyfriend or husband, a cocky grin spread across his face and he leaned one arm on the waist high partition between them.
“I’m an old friend of the family,” he explained and then nodded down at the superhero-clad boy. “This is Ms. Conlay’s son, Jacob.”
The nurse, Samantha, her nametag read, stood and peered over the counter to inspect Jacob. The little boy tucked his chin and stepped closer to Seth, partially hiding himself behind Seth’s large leg.
“Are those flowers for your mommy?” Samantha asked and flashed a genuine smile at the child. “I bet she’ll love them,” she praised and turned back to Seth. “Ms. Conlay is in room 507, just down the hall on the right.” She pointed them in the direction.
“Thanks,” Seth drawled and pushed off the counter after shooting a wink at her.
“My shift’s over in ten minutes,” she called and Seth tossed her a flirty smile over his shoulder.
A major part of Seth wanted to dump Jacob off with Lucy for a few hours and take the hot little nurse for a ride in his rental car. Tall, curvy and busty, she had all the assets he appreciated in a woman. Glancing down at his watch, he realized he had enough time for a quickie.
“C’mon buddy,” he murmured to Jacob. They turned toward the door marked 507 and Seth reached down to push the handle. The large door slid open on a whoosh and he inhaled sharply when he saw Lucy’s frail form snuggled beneath a thin blanket atop the hospital bed.
A multitude of tubes ran from her little body to the machines sitting around the bed. She smiled through squinted eyes and raised a hand riddled with IV tubes. Apparently her eyes were sensitive to the harsh hospital lights because he noticed they were bloodshot and swollen from all the way across the room.
“There’s my baby boy,” she murmured. “I’ve missed you so much,” she added and tried to sit up. But no matter how much she struggled or wiggled, she didn’t have enough strength to move her body even a fraction of an inch.
It was in that moment that Seth truly realized just how bad Lucy’s health was. If she wasn’t strong enough to survive chemo or radiation, then she wasn’t strong enough to survive at all. He glanced down at the little boy he’d grown fond of and smiled when Jacob ran to his mother’s bedside, his outstretched arms offering her the flower arrangement.
“Look what we got Mommy.” He shoved them toward her and she scrambled to catch the vase before both flowers and water spilled on the bed.
“My favorite,” Lucy exclaimed and brought them to her nose. “They’re beautiful, thank you,” she beamed at her son and then turned an appreciative glance on Seth.
“I dressed myself, Mommy,” Jacob added, prompting her attention back to him and moved back to show off his attire. Lucy giggled when she took in the superman garb.
“I see that,” she responded. “You look like you’re ready to save the world.”
When the child started rambling a
bout everything they’d done the past couple days, Seth stepped back toward the door and raised a hand to draw Lucy’s attention.
“I’m gonna step out for a few,” he murmured. “Let you two catch up, I’ll be back,” he added and hastily escaped when Jacob shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his mom.
He slumped back against the closed door and inhaled sharply. He didn’t understand the feelings running rampant in his gut. Never one to get caught up on just one woman, Lucy was taking up entirely too much of his attention for his liking. Both her and Jacob. It was time he sought some different company.
Shoving off the wall, he sauntered back down the hall, approaching the blonde at the nurse’s station. She looked up and then grinned.
“How ‘bout we go somewhere quieter?” Seth drawled and grinned at her in return.
Lucy
Lucy frowned when Seth hastily retreated. It wasn’t like she’d expected him to fawn all over her or anything, but she would’ve liked an update on what he and Jacob’s activities these past couple of days.
But from the look of her son’s choice of attire and his high spirits, she knew it couldn’t have been all that bad.
“Come,” she invited and patted the bed. “Sit with Mommy and tell all about your time with Mr. Seth.” She scooted over, although it wasn’t really necessary.
The little boy clambered up onto the bed and snuggled down against her. Lucy knew he needed the nearness of her body after spending a couple days apart. They’d never spent the night apart and it almost killed her to have done it now. After her parents had disowned her, Chris had been all she had left.
When Jacob was born, she swore an oath before God. She’d never go anywhere her child couldn’t go and she’d never let him go an hour without knowing how much she loved him. He was her world and she knew she had to fight with every bit of strength she could muster if she wanted to stay alive long enough to see him reach adulthood.
Wrangling the Cowboy: An Older Man & A Virgin Romance Page 20
