by K. Panikian
I worried about Bard the most in this new world. Only a little bit older than me, he’d been a soldier at the citadel for more than ten years. It was a lot to leave behind. Honestly, I was surprised when he didn’t follow our father through the gate. Bard kept his thoughts close though, and didn’t let me see if he was uncertain or troubled.
I wasn’t concerned about myself. I loved it here. I was thinking about studying nursing after I got my GED. When I had my first doctor appointment after we arrived in Alaska, the nurse who helped me was sweetly kind and sympathetic. When she found out I’d never seen a doctor before, she stayed by my side the whole visit, helping me interpret the doctor’s questions and holding my hand for my first shots. It would be nice to be able to help others like that.
Zoe, Very’s mother, was a nurse too. She gave me one of her old anatomy books from school and I’d spent hours now flipping through it, looking at the intricate drawings of bodies and body parts. Some of the drawings I copied into my sketchbook, tracing the delicate insides of fingers, full of tendons and small bones, and the plump, pale air sacs of the lungs.
When I got to the coffee hut for my shift, I locked my bike to the rack outside and then knocked at the door. Paige, my coworker, let me in, showed me a couple of jars that needed refilling soon, and then slipped out. I inhaled the delicious aroma of coffee beans. My father would have liked coffee a lot, I knew, and I thought of him every time I started a shift. I sent a quick prayer to the gods that he was healthy and happy wherever he was.
I liked the lunch shift the best. Although it would be busy for a little bit while office workers zipped around town running errands and grabbing coffee and snacks before heading back to their desks, in the afternoon things slowed down a lot. Fewer customers meant fewer tips, but I liked the peace and quiet. I could read, or study, without many interruptions.
The hours passed quickly and I practiced problems for my algebra class, the window fan whirling beside me. It was hot but not unbearably so.
At four, a knock at the door letting me know that the evening rush would start soon. I let Amber into the hut and groaned internally. She was not my favorite partner for the part of my shift where we doubled up. She was, as Very called her when I told her the stories, a mean girl.
She said things and did things that made me feel small and stupid. Very said she did it because she was insecure and I was beautiful and sweet, and customers liked coming to my window instead of hers. But whatever the reason, she didn’t like me, and so I didn’t like her.
We worked silently for a little while, each taking a window and bustling around each other, using the grinder or the syrup bottles in a graceful small-space dance. I ignored her when she elbowed me out of the way to use the card swipe first, and when she changed my music selection. When my phone alarm beeped at 6pm, I politely told her good night and climbed out of the hut.
Walking into my apartment a little bit later, I inhaled its clean smell with a smile and went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. I loved the independence of it. At the citadel, living in the women’s dorm, we had no privacy at all. Here, I had a whole apartment to myself. Cato and Bard were next door in the other half of the duplex, so I was only alone when I wanted to be. But I’d discovered that I wanted it a lot.
It was so peaceful here in this place, in this world. No alarms sounded from the watchtower. No soldiers clashed and drilled in the bailey. No reports of bes attacks in the villages frightened me awake.
Not that this world didn’t have its problems. I watched the news; I knew I was incredibly lucky to live where I did and have the support of Very’s family and my brothers.
I showered, also a big highlight in my new life, and then relaxed on the couch with my laptop. I’d study a little more and then be ready to talk to the guys when they got off work. I curled up in a sunny spot and then let my eyes close for just a minute.
MESYATS stood before me. The Moon God. His white-blond hair shone in the sunlight and his skin glowed. He crouched next to my couch, his bare toes sinking into my beige carpet, and touched my cheek. His cold finger made me shiver.
“Finally,” he said, “you’ve decided to listen to me. You were almost out of time. I was going to have to do something drastic.”
I stared up at him. What would a god consider “drastic”? I probably didn’t want to know.
“You must find the dragon.”
“What?” I asked, feeling stupid and slow.
“The dragon. Find a gate. Find the dragon.”
Then he vanished and I woke up. Staring at the spot where the god crouched only a moment ago, I touched the still-cold spot on my cheek.
“Astrid!” Cato shouted on the other side of my door. “Open up! The pizza’s getting cold!”
I scrambled to my feet and croaked out, “Coming!”
Opening the door and letting my brothers into my apartment, I inhaled the delicious scent of tomatoes and basil.
Bard had a growler of beer with him and we trooped to my big kitchen in the back and served everything up. I ate my slices quickly and then nursed my beer, deciding how to drop the bombshell.
The guys were arguing over a video game when I finally decided to just blurt it out.
“I’ve been having visions of Abaddon’s army for the past few weeks. I think he’s still trying to find a portal to this world. Mesyats came and talked to me today and told me we’re almost out of time. We need to find a gate and find the dragon.”
Cato and Bard stared blankly at me.
I shrugged at them helplessly. “I didn’t want to tell you about the dreams. We’re here now and they’re all still on Terra Novum. I hoped that maybe the dreams would stop. Maybe it wouldn’t be our fight any longer.
“But I can’t lie to myself anymore, not after today. We need to figure out a way back and we need to find the dragon. A dragon? I’m not sure about that part.”
Bard sighed heavily and nodded. “I knew I would return one day. This has been a nice reprieve, but I’m ready.”
“Go back!” Cato exclaimed, vehemently smacking his hand on the table and making our glasses jump. “I don’t want to go back! I want to buy a car. I want to go to the movies this weekend. I want to fly down and visit Theo in Seattle.”
I made my voice soothing. “No one is saying you can’t do those things when this is all over. We’ll return here to stay.”
He shook his head at me, looking mutinous. “You can’t promise that, Astrid,” he said quietly. He stood and walked out of the kitchen.
Bard and I waited for a minute and then heard him stomping through the apartment next door.
Bard smiled at me. “It’s not your fault. He’ll calm down.”
“Yeah, hopefully,” I answered. I felt guilty. Cato was only 19. Of course he didn’t want to go back where there were no video games or pizza, where danger and death hovered over an uncertain future.
“Maybe he doesn’t have to go with us? Maybe he can stay with Very’s family?” I suggested.
Bard shook his head. “He’ll want to go. Once he thinks about it, he’ll be dying to grab his sword and fight the dragon. He’ll want to try and find father too. He’s becoming lazy here, but he knows his duty to our people.”
I nodded. I hoped so.
“I’m going to tell Uncle Alex what I told you. I don’t expect Very’s family’s help in this, but I think they’ll offer it. And I think we’ll need them.”
“All of them?” Bard asked carefully. Ever intuitive, my brother. I knew he was talking about my heartache over Julian. I guessed I hadn’t tried too hard to keep it a secret.
“All of them,” I said firmly.
“I’ll stay here when you call Uncle Alex.”
THE next morning, I saw a text from Very’s cousin, Theo. He wanted me to call him when I got up. Uncle Alex must have sent out the alert to everyone. Wondering if Julian knew about my visions, I mentally kicked myself. Let it go, I reminded myself.
When we were in Russia, fig
hting the besy and trying to close the portal, Theo had been a bright spot. He was charming and nice and he bonded with Cato over weaponry. He was an augur, like my father and Uncle Alex, so he had a strong second sight. It made him sensitive to nuances, which I'd appreciated in the midst of my emotional turmoil at the time.
He lived down in Seattle where he was in school, but he was going to graduate soon.
I puttered around my kitchen, making tea, and then called him back.
“Hey, Astrid,” was his happy acknowledgment. A bright spot, see? I smiled to myself.
“Hey, Theo.”
“Thanks for calling me. Uncle Alex phoned around to everyone last night and told us your vision. I’ve actually been working on an algorithm to find some potential portal sites around the world, you know, places of mass disappearances, or mysterious happenings.
“I ran it last night with the data I’ve inputted so far, and I got a list of places that might be gates.”
“Wow, Theo!” I exclaimed. “That’s amazingly helpful! Thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem.” He cleared his throat and paused for a long moment. I heard him inhale raggedly.
“Listen though, it’s about all the help I’m going to be this time around. Dad’s got some doctor appointments this week and next and I’m going to stay here in Seattle with him.”
Compassion for the two of them flooded me, hurting my heart with a dull pang. Theo lost his mom a few years ago and I knew he treasured the close relationship he had with his father.
“I understand,” I told him. “You’ve already been an immense help. Please don’t worry about us. We’ll figure it out, especially with the information you put together on the sites.”
He cleared his throat again and I heard the masked frustration in his tone. “I sent the list to Julian a couple of hours ago. He’s on his way up to you guys.”
I ignored the thrill that went through me. Seriously, Astrid, focus, I told myself.
“Good luck. Please, if things go south or you need help, let me know, and I’ll see what I can do.”
Thanking him again, I hung up. I texted my brothers that we were going to have a guest soon and then showered and headed into work.
Chapter 3
Shaking the salt water out of his face, Julian checked on the kid on the board next to him. Sitting stiffly, she eyed the waves in front of them and chewed her lip.
“You know we’ve got to get past the breakers if you want to catch one,” he reminded her, gesturing with his chin at the swells beyond the white water. “If we hang out here, we’re going to keep getting hit in the face.” He splashed some water at her lightly and she smiled at him.
His feet felt chilled outside of his wetsuit and the scents of the sea enveloped him; Julian took a moment to bask in his life. Teacher, surf instructor… it didn’t get better than that. He shook his head again, his long blond hair tangling in the ocean breeze.
“I know,” the girl answered, her voice piping. She straightened her small shoulders. “I’m ready.”
“Right,” he grinned at her. “Follow me.”
He led her out to the swells and then spent an hour helping her learn to surf. She was a naturally athletic kid and once she was up on the board, she did an awesome job. It was just a matter of coaxing her out of her fears each wave and then cheering her on for the ride.
At the end of the lesson, the girl beamed when she ran to her mom on the sand. She demanded, did you see, did you see, and the mom smiled at Julian.
“I can’t thank you enough,” she said. “I watched the whole time.” She turned to her daughter and gave her a big hug, ignoring the damp wetsuit. “You were amazing, sweetie.”
Julian gave the girl a high five and then waved at the pair as they headed up to the parking lot. Grabbing his towel, his board, and his backpack, he followed them a few minutes later.
Back at his apartment, Julian showered and checked his messages. His mom was coming over before his flight to Anchorage. Julian grimaced and then hurriedly cleaned, picking up socks and coffee mugs, and wiping down the bathroom.
When his doorbell rang a little bit later, Julian took a last look around his space—not impeccable, but not sloppy either. He was 30 years old; he braced himself. He could handle his mom’s disapproving looks.
On his way to the door, he kicked his running shoes out of sight under the couch.
At the entryway, he kissed Sophia’s rosy cheek and picked up the duffel out of her hands.
“I brought your knives and that new sword,” she said. “Choose what you want and I’ll ship them up tonight.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He dropped the bag by the door. “Tea?”
“What time is it? Four?” she answered herself. “Make me a margarita.”
“You got it.”
Julian went into the kitchen to dig out some limes. He could see through to the living room and watched his mom wander while he made her drink. He was almost out of her favorite tequila, he noted to himself. She fingered his dusty blinds and he hurriedly grabbed her drink and a beer for himself and then went back into the room, gesturing to the couch.
Sophia sat on the edge of her seat and took a long sip of her drink. “Ah, thanks, Jude.” She looked at him and held up her hand, making a “come on” gesture. “So, what’s the plan?”
“Mom, you have as much information as I do right now. Uncle Alex says Astrid is having visions of Abaddon’s army reforming in the portal world, and Mesyats told her to find the dragon.”
“Yes,” his mom answered, “but don’t tell me you haven’t already talked to Theo and that Varangian boy, Bard. I know you’re buddies. Astrid too. Why hasn’t she visited? I could have sworn she was smitten with you."
She leaned forward. “Did I scare her off? I didn’t mean to. I like her.”
Julian shrugged. Astrid. The most beautiful woman he’d ever met in his life, with a strong will and strong elemental magic to back it up. The woman that made him try harder, work harder, just by standing near him. The woman who told him, five months earlier, that she wanted to be with him, and whom he’d told in response, no, sorry.
Flushing, Julian cleared his mind of Astrid. She wasn’t for him. “Theo has some ideas of portal sites he sent me, but he’s staying in Seattle for now. Uncle David has some tests coming up and he doesn’t want to be far away.”
Sophia nodded sadly and then waved him on.
“I haven’t talked to Bard in the past couple of days.” He left the rest of her question unanswered, hoping she’d forget. But, no such luck.
“And Astrid?” his mom asked. “She hasn’t talked to you about her dreams?”
Julian swallowed.
“I haven’t spoken to her,” he told his mother. He looked at his fist clenched around his beer glass and deliberately relaxed it, setting his beer down on the coffee table. He stood by what he’d told Astrid. It wasn’t a good idea. Despite the fact that he thought about her all the time, she was better off without him, for a lot of reasons.
Miraculously, Sophia let it go.
They chatted about the family and Julian’s job. When he left in February to travel to France, and then Russia, to help close the portal, Uncle David used his telepathy-illusion powers to smooth things over with Julian’s job at the high school. He was a guidance counselor, a job he valued and was proud of. He returned a month later and discovered everyone thought he was dealing with a death in the family. There’d been no repercussions from his absence.
This time around, he was on summer break. He’d have to cancel his upcoming surf lessons but, hopefully, he’d be back by the time school started in September.
His flight was at 8pm so he eventually rose to dig through the bag of weapons. Pulling out his new spatha with the bear hilt and a matched dagger pair with a shoulder holster, he set them aside for his mom to ship to Anchorage.
Sophia hugged him tightly and then dug her finger into his ribs. He should have expected it.
“You are my only son
, Jude, and I love you desperately. But sometimes, you are too much like your father. You are too cautious and you second-guess yourself.” She gripped his face tightly in her hands. “You are strong enough. You are brave enough. You are smart enough.” She paused. “You are enough.”
Julian nodded. He’d heard the same recitation all through his childhood, ever since his dad left.
Sophia sighed and let go.
“I’ll head to the farmhouse and stay with Zoe and Luke for a while. Call me if you need me.” She kissed his cheek, grabbed the duffel, and walked out the door.
Julian shut the door behind her and then went to his bedroom to pack.
WHEN Julian landed in Anchorage later that night, Cato met him after he cleared the security zone. Julian almost didn’t recognize him, the teenager looked so different. His blond hair was short and spiky and he wore shorts and a t-shirt—no more tunic and chain mail. He looked younger, too, more like a modern 19-year-old and not a warrior out of time.
Julian couldn’t believe this was the same person he saw decapitate an azhdaya, a type of small dragon, just a few months earlier.
“Julian!” Cato shouted and Julian couldn’t hold back his grin. He grasped the younger man in a tight hug and then let go. Cato smiled up at him, his face sunny and his blue eyes twinkling. “I drove to get you,” he exclaimed. “I can drive!”
Laughing, Julian followed him to the parking garage. Cato showed him to the Subaru and Julian recognized Very’s old car. They stowed his bag and peeled off into the night. It was 10pm local time and the sun was barely vanishing over the mountains to the west of the inlet. The sky glowed orange and red and the air felt warm through the car’s open windows.
Cato chattered about his job and his friends and Julian listened with half an ear. He felt anticipation thrumming through him—anticipation of a new adventure and of seeing Astrid again. He tried to quell those thoughts. She was probably not looking forward to seeing him.
“So you’re staying in the third room in our apartment,” Cato was saying when he tuned in again. “Bard is home now, but I think Astrid’s out, so we can wait to talk about Theo’s list in the morning.”
