“I don’t know. You know he hasn’t been the same since the shooting. It looks like next Friday is his last day. Steve also said we’ll all celebrate you winning your first murder case at the same time,” Dan said.
“Did you tell him it would probably be my last, too?”
Dan forced a grin. “No, but you can tell him if you want.” He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
The next day he even went so far as to help her with the bowl of coleslaw she insisted on making to take to Steve and Hannah’s.
“We don’t have to make this,” he reminded her. “Steve said we didn’t need to bring anything.” He had long since learned that Justine couldn’t go anywhere without something in her hand, whether it was a briefcase or a dish or a drink.
“Do you want to stir or should I?” she asked, ignoring what he said.
“I’ll stir, you pour on the dressing.” He gave in to her, staying close in case she got the sudden desire to share something with him.
“You know,” she said brightly, “we could start on the kitchen tile tomorrow since we both have the next few days off.”
“Do you feel up to it?” he asked.
“Of course,” Justine replied without any hesitation.
Dan paused his stirring and looked down at the old tile on the floor. The new tile had been bought and was still in boxes down in the basement. There hadn’t been time for them to get started on the job. “I guess we could start. I don’t know how hard it will be to get the old stuff off the floor.”
“Maybe Steve could help us.”
“Steve’s on duty tomorrow,” he told her.
“Oh.”
“Besides I think the two of us working together will be able to get the job done, most of it, anyway. And I guess if we ran into any trouble we could call one of your brothers or your dad.” Maybe one of her brothers can get her to talk about what’s bothering her, he thought.
“Sounds good,” she said, before leaning up and giving him a quick, light kiss on his cheek. Her touch was enough to send fire through his blood, and he did his best to ignore it. He wanted her. He always wanted her. But knowing she wasn’t being exactly straight with him hurt in more ways than he’d want to admit. She also didn’t seem to be in the mood to be touched any more than just held these days.
“Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on with you, Jus?” he asked casually, as if it was no big deal. His greatest hope was that she would suddenly confess whatever bothered her.
“There’s nothing going on.”
The rest of the morning went like that. He made little off-the-wall comments in a way to initiate conversation, and Justine responded to him but didn’t answer any of his questions. He had to nearly bite his own tongue in an effort not to come right out and ask her why she’d lied to him, to demand she tell him what bothered her. He was almost certain whatever it had been still existed. He couldn’t imagine a problem big enough to make her ill.
He tried not to worry about her, and he obviously did a good job keeping his worry hidden because she said nothing about it. His concern, however, only increased when they reached Steve and Hannah’s house later the afternoon.
Steve and Hannah were their usual out-going and happy selves, with a three- and five-year-old always underfoot. Jack was already there. He raised his bottle of beer slightly in greeting. “Nice of you all to show up at my party,” he said.
“We wouldn’t miss it.” Dan shook his hand. “But I’m sure the entire department will miss you.”
“I’ll miss the people, but not the job.” Jack took a swig of his beer.
“What are you going to do?” Dan asked. Was it his imagination or was Justine hanging back behind him? No, it wasn’t his imagination. She stood behind him and said nothing. What was that about?
Jack shrugged. “I think I’ll just find me a little place somewhere on a lake and fish when I’m not working a boring part-time job, just enough to make ends meet.”
“Good luck with that,” Dan said, meaning it.
“I told you to tell them they didn’t have to bring any dish,” Hannah said as she drew close and took the big bowl of coleslaw to put on the table with the rest of the food.
“I told him,” Steve said. “But you know how neither of them ever listen.”
“I have half a mind to dump all that slaw down the garbage disposal,” Hannah said, trying to sound serious. “Heaven knows we don’t need it.”
“At least wait until the feeling comes back into my thumb from all the chopping I had to do,” Dan replied, unable to keep the grin off his face.
“Nobody forced you to chop any of it,” Justine snapped, her tone far different than the teasing banter of the others. “I didn’t hold a gun to your head. I never even asked for your help.”
For a moment, the rest of them were quiet, all staring at her. Tess, Steve and Hannah’s three-year-old daughter tugged on her mother’s leg with a sudden, “Mama! Mama! Up!” and broke through the silence.
“Jus, we were just teasing,” Dan said, hoping to cut through the tension that surrounded her.
Hannah drew Tess into her arms and met Steve’s questioning look at the same time.
“Maybe we’re all just hungry,” Steve suggested. He took his daughter from his wife. “Just about everyone’s here. Let’s eat. We don’t have to wait for Chief Watson.”
Hannah forced a smile. “I think that’s a great idea,” she said. “I know I’m hungry, and everything else is ready.”
“Maybe you just need to lighten up, Justine.” Dan noticed the way Jack looked at Justine as he spoke to her. Jack raised an eyebrow in challenge of some way.
Justine ignored the look and stepped closer to Dan. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been feeling well.”
“Is that so?” Jack asked, sounding genuinely interested.
His dark gaze met Dan’s for a brief moment, but Dan didn’t have the foggiest idea what message Jack might be trying to convey, but his police-gut feeling told him something was going on.
“I think her last case got the best of her,” Dan said lightly, unable to take his gaze from Justine, feeling as if he were trying to make his way across a pool of broken glass without getting cut. “It’s left her a little under the weather.”
“Well, that’s what we’re here to celebrate along with Jack’s retirement,” Steve said. “The end of your first murder case—with no less than an acquittal.”
“Well, acquittal or not, I don’t think I want to make a career out of defending possible murderers.”
For the first time in a while, Dan thought Justine sounded a little more like herself.
“Why not?” Hannah asked.
“There was just something about the way Paulie Madison looked at me during the trial that kept me on edge. I don’t know if all murder suspects would look at me with the same look of triumph, but it isn’t something I ever want to get used to. So I think I’ll stick to robbers and car thieves.”
Dan said nothing but understood completely. When Adam had been killed, he remembered looking clearly at the young hood who had shot him. The look in that young man’s eyes had held something close to a dare, even though it lasted mere seconds before the kid ran off.
The kid dared Dan to make a move against him. As if he realized he’d stepped over the line between good and evil and he wasn’t afraid to stay on the wrong side of that line. The look in his eyes was clearly triumph.
Was this what was making Justine ill? Dan knew Justine’s strengths better than anyone. She had the determination to face this down. Note to self, he thought, talk to her about this.
“That sounds a little scary even if you are crashing in on my party,” Jack joked.
Several people chuckled.
Steve looked into the refrigerator. “What can I get you two to drink? Beer?”
“Beer’s fine with me,” Dan put in.
“Just a glass of water for me,” Justin
e replied softly.
Dan watched Justine. She again spoke unusually quiet after her outburst. Steve handed him a cold beer, and Dan muttered his thanks.
“Can I help with anything?” Justine offered.
“You could find a spoon for your coleslaw,” Hannah said. She set out the rest of the dinner, and everyone found a chair and crowded around the three tables that were set up. Except for those on duty, nearly the entire department and their families were there.
“Steak or hamburger, Justine?” Steve offered. He set the large platter holding several hot, grilled steaks and hamburgers in front of her.
“Thank you,” Justine replied.
Dan noticed she stopped and stared at the platter of meat. He thought he actually saw the color drain from her face.
“Jus?” he asked quietly. He was grateful that Steve and Hannah were busy cutting meat and setting up plates of food for their kids and everyone else was eating that they didn’t notice his wife.
She met his gaze for a quick moment. “Excuse me,” she said then. “I’ll be right back.”
The smile she gave him was forced, and she left before he could stop her.
“Is she all right?” Hannah asked between Tess’s demands for more French fries.
“I think so,” Dan lied. He flashed her a brief smile, knowing it was as forced as Justine’s had been.
Justine returned a few moments later, and her color was slightly better. Dan was intrigued by a tiny droplet of water that he saw on her neck. She evidently splashed her face. And it took everything he had not to reach over and wipe that drop off, feel the softness of her throat beneath it before he dragged her out of the room and demanded she tell him just what was wrong with her.
The rest of the dinner passed in a blur for him. He knew he gave the appropriate answers at the appropriate times. But throughout it all, he watched Justine and it only added to his growing frustration when she avoided his gaze.
“Thanks again. Everything tasted wonderful,” Dan said as he and Justine were leaving. Too bad he couldn’t remember much of how anything tasted. Too bad it did nothing more than twist around in a knot in his stomach.
He shook Jack’s hand. Justine stood back until Jack pulled her into his arms and forced her to give him a brief hug.
“You’re welcome,” Steve and Hannah echoed.
“And the slaw was good, too,” Hannah added.
“Thanks,” Justine said.
While saying their good-byes to the rest of the partiers still there, Dan forced yet another smile and with his hand on her back, ushered Justine toward the car. He finally managed to get her into the car and with a final wave, he climbed in, too, grateful to shut out the rest of the world.
He started the car and held his tongue until they pulled away from the curb. The last thing he wanted was for her to be able to climb back out again to avoid his conversation.
After a long moment of deciding to plunge in, he asked, “Would you care to tell me what’s going on with you?”
With his fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, he focused on her and worked to keep his frustration at bay. The last thing he wanted was to argue with her, and with the tension around her so thick he could cut it with a knife, he thought an argument would be easy to fall into. Too easy.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said.
Dan threw her a quick glance, only to find her staring straight ahead. He uttered a mental curse.
“Let me refresh your memory,” he said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. “You got sick while we were there, right? Now, Jus, I’ve been around the block a few times. I wasn’t born yesterday. You were fine earlier, but then you weren’t. Obviously, there’s something bothering you so much that it’s making you ill.”
“No, there’s not,” she tried to say.
Dan continued as if she hadn’t tried to interrupt. “Then it’s not this latest murder case, it’s not the way Madison looked at you?”
“No.”
“Did he threaten you in some way?” Dan had to ask. “Even though you got the lowlife off?”
“No.”
“You’d tell me if he did?”
“He didn’t.”
“Did someone else?”
He didn’t like the way she hesitated in replying. Damn. “I could see that you’re protected.”
“I don’t need it,” she insisted.
“Then just tell me what’s wrong. I can help you, you know that. Did something happen after the trial was over?”
“No,” she said.
“Did someone else say something to you or threaten you? I know you were worried about that before.”
“No,” she said again.
“Then what is it?”
“Nothing!” she all but screamed at him. “I’m sure it’s just the flu or some reaction to all the stress of the case. So why don’t you just leave me alone?”
She retreated to her side of the car, both physically and mentally. Dan felt her slam an imaginary mental door. Whatever bothered her, he wasn’t going to find out about it this way. If he continued, he was bound to just continue to beat his head up against the door she’d closed shutting him out. He uttered another mental curse, and under his breath replied, “Fine, whatever you want.”
But things were far from fine, and he knew it. What he didn’t know was how to make things better. He was afraid that until she talked to him, until she opened the door and let him back in, there was little he could do to help the situation.
Were those tears he saw in her eyes? She turned away before he could look closer.
And neither of them spoke the rest of the way home.
The silent treatment continued after they got home. It didn’t end when Dan changed into old clothes and moved the furniture out of the kitchen and into the living room. Justine just helped him.
As he scraped up the old tile with his shovel, she found a big box and threw the pieces into it.
“Are you only helping because this was your idea in the first place?” he asked.
“If you don’t want my help, just say so,” she replied shortly.
He said nothing else. They worked side by side throughout the evening, not stopping until the floor of the kitchen was scraped bare of what Justine referred to as ‘turn-of-the-twentieth-century flooring’.
As Justine threw one of the last pieces of old tile into the nearly filled box, Dan set his shovel against the wall. Closed door or not, he’d waited long enough to touch her.
He hadn’t touched her all afternoon. Hell, he’d hardly touched her in weeks. Well, he wasn’t going to go all night, too. If she wanted to close a door, that was her choice, not his.
As far as he was concerned, he hadn’t done anything wrong, and deserved no punishment, no silent treatment.
Without thought, he put his arms around her and pulled her against him.
She was so warm.
She was also stiff in his arms. Then she relaxed against him, feeling familiar and exciting. He bit his tongue to keep from asking one more time what bothered her.
“Come take a shower with me,” he said instead.
Justine didn’t reply for a long moment, and Dan thought perhaps she might refuse him.
“Are you going to yell at me more?” she asked.
Dan didn’t remind her how she’d been the one to scream at him. “I won’t yell at you,” he said.
“Okay,” she said. She followed him upstairs.
Dan wanted to hold her close all the way there, but he didn’t trust how she might react to his touch, not with the way she seemed to read the wrong signals from him.
He climbed into the shower first as Justine finished undressing. She seemed apprehensive of letting him see her undress, and Dan worked to ignore it. He turned on both showerheads and adjusted them, waiting for her.
When she climbed in with him, he once again took her into his arms and pulled her against him.
She was soft, perfect
and wet in his arms.
He kissed her under the spray, and she let him, but as he ran his hands down the length of her, Justine stepped away.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, doing his best not to feel put off.
“I just don’t feel like it, that’s all,” she replied, letting her hair get wet.
“If this is about the argument before—” Dan began, thinking it hadn’t even been an actual argument. He didn’t really know what it had been.
“It’s not,” she insisted. “I’m just not in the mood.”
“All right,” he gave in. He didn’t mention that she hadn’t ‘felt like it’ for a while now. “Can I wash your back?” he offered. He simply wanted to touch her, needed to touch her, and if rubbing her with soap was all he was going to get, he’d take it. Besides, sometimes after he rubbed her all over with soap, it left her wanting more. He could only hope.
“Yes,” she said, not really sounding as if she wanted him to.
Dan took the opportunity before she changed her mind, rubbing soap with one hand and building the suds with the other. Under the shower, he wanted her more than ever, but he forced himself to keep his distance. He touched her with nothing more than his hands, feeling every inch of her underneath a fine layer of suds.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured softly against her wet hair.
“Do you love me?” she asked.
The question threw him for a moment. She often told him she loved him, and he told her the same. She never asked. She didn’t have to ask.
“Of course I love you.”
“Can you just hold me?”
“I’d love to.” He pulled her against him and held her close. Her softness melted into him. He leaned around her and kissed her lightly on her cheek several times until he reached her mouth.
And through the spray that hit them from both directions, he could have sworn he tasted the saltiness of tears.
Chapter 26
Dan made a turn, knowing the cabin was just a few miles away. Even though he hadn’t been to the cabin years, the drive had felt familiar. It was as if every move he’d made in the last decade led him back here, even though it was the last thing he wanted. He could almost feel Justine growing closer and hoped she felt him, too. He thought about her feeling sick and dizzy. She must have known about the pregnancy when the trial was over, or at least suspected. She had to definitely know when they were at Steve and Hannah’s. It was why she was so defensive. He’d been too stupid to pick up on it. But then he’d never thought it could happen, either, so he wouldn’t know to suspect it.
A Twist of Betrayal Page 18
