"Thorin."
At the exhaustion in his bride's voice, he focused all of his attention on her. Cupping her cheek with one of his hands, he kissed her gently and said, "I love you, zyla. And don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."
She searched his gaze. "But it's the one thing you never wanted. Can you really live with it?"
"For you, anything."
"I want to believe you, but it can't be that simple."
"Yes, it can. You brought lightness into my life when I thought I'd never have it. Not to mention a happiness I've never known. I would even give my life to save yours, Vala. I can do this, too." She opened her mouth, but he beat her to it. "I have a plan, my lovely bride. One that will require your help."
Her brows came together. "A plan about what?"
"Rather than passively wait for other part Brevkan individuals to come forward, we're going to search them out. What I need is information, especially about any of their children. Together, we might be able to minimize any suffering. And if I can do that, then it will be easier for me to accept and not feel guilty about having a child."
"Thorin," she murmured.
"We'll do this together, love. As soon as you feel up to it."
Wiping her eyes, she stood a little taller. "All I need is a nap, and then I'll be ready."
He smoothed back a stray hair from her face. "No, you should take a few days to rest first."
She raised an eyebrow. "Will you wait?"
"No," he said sheepishly.
"Exactly. We're going to do this together, Thorin. Which also means I need you to do something. The doctor wants to run tests to confirm my suspicions. I know you've avoided it, but now…"
"But now, it could help any child of ours," he finished.
She bobbed her head. "So will you do it?"
The thought of scanners and needles made his skin crawl, but he'd suffered worse things in his life. "I will." Scooping her up, he held her protectively against his chest. "But first, I’ll take you home to rest. And just know that no amount of arguing will change my mind about that."
Vala smiled, and it helped ease his nerves. Yes, for the beautiful female in his arms, he would truly do anything.
And that included facing his greatest fear of fathering a part Brevkan child.
Chapter Four
The next day, once Thorin had ensured Vala was asleep with her friend Kalahn to watch over her, Thorin left their apartment and headed to the small meeting space inside the colony's living area.
While he fully intended to search out other part-Brevkan individuals, he'd promised Vala they'd do it together and he needed to wait for his bride to regain her strength. However, he could still attend the prescheduled meeting as planned. He doubted he'd be lucky enough to meet any fathers or mothers there, but he would go all the same.
As usually happened, with each step away from his bride, Thorin's skin warmed and his brain grew restless. It was the cue for him to fall back on rhythmic breathing and imagine his bride smiling at him. The combination had yet to fail him so far when it came to preventing his rages.
He hadn't had one for months and he wasn't about to let them return now. While the idea of becoming a father was foreign to him, to the degree it felt as if he walked in a dream, he wouldn't endanger any child. And to ensure that, he had to be certain he could remain calm under any and all circumstances.
Approaching the plain, gray composite door, Thorin entered the meeting room and paused. Even though he was a few minutes early, ten individuals sat inside the space.
He noticed none of them sat next to one another, plus the room was silent. However, their presence was most definitely an accomplishment. And ten attendees may be a high enough number to find a parent among them.
Thorin walked to the front of the room and stood behind the simple podium. All eyes looked at him, but after being in the Kelderan Army for so many years—often in a leadership role—the attention didn't bother him.
He glanced at the individuals, a mixed group of males and females. Some had Kelderan skin tones, and others had Brevkan ones that had probably relied on heavy cosmetics for most of their lives to hide it. Thorin finally spoke. "I honestly didn't expect anyone to attend. However, I'm grateful for your courage. Coming forward almost guarantees you will never return to Keldera. At least, not until the laws are changed substantially."
A male with light blue skin similar to Thorin's spoke up. "Given the freedoms we're allowed here, I don't think any of us would return. Much like your bride."
Thorin hadn't met the male before. He must've researched Thorin before attending. "As I'm sure each of you understand, we can't change the past, no matter how much we may wish differently. The future is what matters. And more importantly, learning as much as we can from one another since the Brevkan are mostly a mystery."
A woman's soft voice said, "Maybe it should stay that way."
The female's skin was a reddish tone, one possessed by the Brevkan but not the Kelderans. She would've had a harder upbringing than he would since Thorin could "pass" as Kelderan. "If you've come only to persuade us to maintain shame and secrecy, then I implore you to leave. I, for one, am here to learn. Any of our futures may depend on it."
The same female replied, "How so?"
"Do you have children?" She shook her head and Thorin glanced at the others. "Do any of you?"
At first, no one moved. However, after a few seconds, a male with golden skin—another Kelderan skin tone that could blend with the rest of the population—raised his hand. "I have a son."
From what little Thorin had been able to discover, male offspring had a harder time dealing with rages and visions than females. Not that either was spared completely. "Is he old enough to have rages?"
The male shook his head. "He's less than a year old."
Which according to Vala's Barren contacts, was when a part Brevkan baby acted like any other. Only after their second birthday did nightmares and other characteristics begin. "And it's for his sake that you're here."
The golden male grunted. "Yes. I don't know much, and while my bride is half-Brevkan as well, together we're clueless and desperate to save our son from the same tortures of our youth."
Thorin resisted a frown. It was the first he'd heard of two half-Brevkan individuals having a child together. "As I may soon be in the same circumstances, I, too, wish to learn as much as possible." Confusion flashed since his bride was one of the Barren, but Thorin continued before anyone could talk. "I will talk more about that with those who truly wish to share. If you agree to meet weekly and talk openly, then we'll all vow the information in this room stays with us and our immediate families. If you don't share the same idea, then please leave now."
The timid female from earlier stood and quickly fled the room.
Maybe he should've asked her name, to keep an eye on her.
Regardless, he knew her face. If she caused trouble and Prince Kason or any of the other members of the leadership brought it to his attention, then he'd act. She shouldn't be followed or questioned for simply wanting to remain hidden and avoid scrutiny.
He focused back on the remaining nine people. "Now that only the committed remain, let's sit more informally and make our vows. And then I suggest sharing any information you've learned over the years."
The golden male asked, "Shouldn't we keep a record?"
Thorin shook his head. "No, we're not taking notes. At least, not for the time being. Written records can easily be leaked, and I want to ensure we learn to trust one another above anything else. I hope sharing information is only the first step."
The golden male smiled. "If you start to say this will turn into our closest circle of friends, I'll have to wonder what happened to the growly general."
He frowned. "Have we met?"
"Not personally. However, I was on one of the same army starships as you. My name is Cellig."
The name Cellig didn't ring a bell. However, some ships had thousands of crew members, a
nd not even a general as thorough as Thorin could keep track of every individual. "This former general only cares about his bride and making her happy. Any honorable male would do the same."
Cellig nodded. "Agreed."
Understanding passed between the two. Thorin hadn't made many friends or even semi-acquaintances over the years. However, if the male was bold enough to speak and question him, he might be worth getting to know.
As they went around giving names and speaking vows, Thorin's mind kept wandering back to Vala. He trusted Kalahn to look after her, but he was anxious to hold his bride close again and ensure she was safe.
~~~
Vala opened her eyes and found Kalahn in a chair not far from her bed, furiously scribbling something down onto sheets of paper.
Since she'd seen her friend do the same many times before, Vala knew Kalahn had received important information via telepathy. Whether from a distant planet or someone on Jasvar, she had no idea.
Sitting up, Vala rearranged the blankets and blinked away the lingering drowsiness. With the curtains drawn, she had no idea if it were still daylight or not.
Kalahn's voice filled the room. "You're awake. How're you feeling? Even if all you have is a slight headache, tell me now because I don't want to face Thorin's wrath."
She frowned. "Thorin would never hurt you."
Kalahn waved a hand in dismissal. "Of course not. But if I'm ever to convince him of letting you go to the education retreat in a few months' time, then I need to be on his good side."
"I'd forgotten all about that."
She paused, knowing that if she didn't give an explanation, it would be a red flag to Kalahn. They'd been planning a mini-retreat for the older children of both the Kelderan colony and the Jasvarian one for weeks.
Kalahn's voice softened. "I already know what happened since you mentally projected it during your sleep. However, I'd much rather hear it from you directly."
Vala resisted a sigh. She knew Kalahn was still learning to control her strong telepathic abilities and couldn't always shield out others' thoughts. And yet, the knowledge her friend knew some of her deepest secrets and fears didn't make saying them any easier.
Kalahn moved her chair closer and took Vala's hand. "You can tell me anything, Vala. You know that. I may not be an expert yet in blocking out others, but few can penetrate my mental shields for information."
"What about Ryven?"
Ryven was Kalahn's husband, a former trainer in the Kelderan Army. For anyone who grumbled about how rights and freedom moved too slowly inside the Kelderan colony, they conveniently dismissed how King Keltor and Prince Kason had allowed their sister to marry an orphaned commoner.
Kalahn shrugged. "I can keep him out if I need to. Although hopefully not forever. After all, if what you projected is true, then everyone will find out in time."
Before she could think of why not, the words tumbled from her lips, "Yes, I can apparently have children now. My only grievance is that there is no choice in the matter. My shock at finally being deemed equal under Kelderan law is nothing compared to Thorin's adjustment. It's taken so much coaxing to ease his self-hatred. I couldn't bear it if it flares up again, especially when seeing any child of ours for the first time."
Kalahn squeezed her hand. "Thorin loves you, and pretty much worships you to the point I'm not sure how you deal with it—I'd feel suffocated. Still, he would never blame you. And once he accepts that any child you share would be part you, he'll love it right away."
Vala sighed. "You say that so easily. It's much more complicated than that."
The princess shrugged. "You can believe that if you wish. However, sometimes an outsider can see things you can't. And there's no way Thorin would ever loathe you or anything connected to you. Well, he might grumble a bit as babies are noisy, and often smelly, and take up so much time and brain power."
She smiled at her friend. "So no children in the near future for you then?"
Her friend grimaced. "No way. With my luck, I'd birth a telepathic prodigy and struggle to keep up with them. I'm not saying never, but I want to learn who I truly am with these new powers before trying to help shape any new person."
Kalahn hadn't been born with telepathy. She'd undergone a DNA-splicing procedure, one that had taken well. So much so, she rivaled many natural-born telepathic prodigies. However, her powers were still new, and Vala was one of the few she felt comfortable talking with about her fears of burnout. Or, worse—accidentally killing her lord Ryven by draining his life force for additional power.
Vala replied, "There's no rush. Especially since there's still not a cure for preventing the doom virus from attacking male embryos in the womb." Vala stilled. In all the revelations and confusion, she hadn't really thought about that aspect. Jasvar's male population was critically low, and the virus was the reason.
And even though she'd been afraid of becoming pregnant and losing Thorin, she was starting to realize it would happen. In that case, losing her child would be unbearable.
Whether from reading her expression or her thoughts, Vala had no clue, but Kalahn patted her hand and said, "Don't worry. The Kelderan scientists are making progress on that virus. Besides, given how stubborn both you and Thorin are, there's no way a child of yours would succumb to something as lowly as a virus."
She snorted. "If only that were true." Wanting to change the subject for a bit and better control her emotions, Vala motioned toward the sheets of paper in Kalahn's lap. "Can you tell me the latest news?"
"It's nothing too sensitive, really. My brother Keltor had a few policy matters for Kason. He also wanted to share that he discovered the gender of his latest child and insists on giving it a name beginning with the letter K."
At the disdain in Kalahn's voice, Vala couldn't help but laugh. "It's tradition, as you well know, for the Kelderan royal family to do that. And since your brother is king now, it seems fitting."
Kalahn rolled her eyes. "But you'd think Keltor would want to modernize a little in that regard. I lose track of all the names and I'm a member of the royal family. I can't imagine anyone else keeping them straight."
"I could list them all easily," Vala stated.
Kalahn stuck out her tongue. "Well, not all of us have such good memories."
She chuckled, and nearly pulled Kalahn into a hug. However, a lifetime spent avoiding contact with anyone who wasn't one of the Barren was hard to crack, even when it came to her best friend.
Vala leaned forward a fraction. "Well, are you going to share the name? I won't tell anyone, I promise."
Kalahn sighed. "They're having a girl and will name her Kerralyn. I'll admit Kerra is pretty, but still, if I ever have a baby, they won't have a name beginning with K. Ever. Not even as one of the letters."
Laughing, Vala chatted with Kalahn about some of the other tidbits of news she'd received. The distraction, combined with her friend's lively personality, helped Vala forget some of her fears for the moment.
And who knew, maybe Thorin would have more good news from his meeting. She had no choice but to be hopeful.
~~~
Thorin entered his apartment to find Vala laughing. Given how Kalahn was gesticulating wildly, it probably had something to do with the princess.
However, he barely paid attention to the other female. Merely seeing his bride enjoying herself sent a surge of love through his body. Without thinking, he closed the distance to her, cupped her face, and kissed her thoroughly.
Vala's surprise quickly faded and she met his tongue stroke for stroke, both of them trying to outdo the other.
It was only when Kalahn cleared her throat extremely loudly that Thorin stopped. With a growl, he looked at the princess and said, "You can leave now."
Vala touched his arm. "Thorin, be nice. Kalahn's my friend, and you promised."
Kalahn put up her hands. "Don't worry, I should be going anyway. My own lord will be searching for me soon if I don't meet him for our dinner date." Kalahn paused and added a
s she stared at Vala, "Call me anytime, Vala. Okay?"
"I will. Thanks, Kalahn."
The princess stood straight and bobbed her head curtly at Thorin. "General."
He sighed. "Stop being silly and go to your lord."
"Right, because you told me to so I must," Kalahn drawled. However, before he could say anything else to convince the female to leave, Kalahn dashed to the door, her long skirts flowing behind her. Her expression turned serious. "Don't hurt her, Thorin. Otherwise, you'll have to deal with me."
Thorin knew little about telepathy, but he was wise enough to understand a strong one could damage another person's mind, maybe even permanently. While he'd like to think Kalahn wasn't one to seek vengeance, he couldn't be sure.
Vala said, "He won't. Goodbye, Kalahn."
After another few seconds of glaring, Kalahn left.
Thorin sat beside his bride on the couch. She instantly leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around her. They sat that way for a few seconds, her scent and heat soothing him as they always did.
Vala eventually broke the silence. "How did your meeting go?"
Since his vow to the others at the meeting allowed him to share their secrets with his bride, he didn't hold back. "Nine others ended up staying and committed themselves to meet weekly for the foreseeable future."
She raised her head. "That's wonderful, and far more than we expected."
"True." He hesitated, not wanting to ruin the current atmosphere of talk about the future. However, he owed Vala the truth. "One of them even has a son. Not quite a year old, but still, he shared a lot about his experience so far."
His bride laid a hand on his jaw and gently turned his head until he met her gaze. "And how do you feel after talking with him about it?"
The Hidden (Kelderan Runic Warriors Book 5) Page 3
