by Ashlee Price
“You’re going to be both, Camilla. You’re my doctor and my lover.”
“No, I won’t, Zane. I have to draw a line somewhere, and we’ve already crossed it.”
I zipped my pants up and pinned her against the desk again. The need to take her was certainly there, but I didn’t like the way she was looking at me. I wanted lust, not confusion and maybe a little fear. That was not at all what I wanted from Camilla when she looked at me.
“There are no lines with us, Camilla. We were meant to be together, and I’m not going to let anything stand in our way, not even you.”
“What are you going to do?”
The fear was back in her eyes. She couldn’t imagine how much I hated to see it. I wasn’t threatening her, but if she was going to take it like that, maybe I should. I wanted her to really understand that she didn’t have a choice. I was going to have her. She was going to be mine forever. If I had to put things into perspective for her, I had no problem doing that. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do to make her understand and accept it all. That would make both of our lives a whole lot easier.
“I’m not going to do anything as long as this stays the same.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re too smart to play stupid, Doc. As long as you keep seeing me and our sessions consist of this, everything will be fine. Life will go on the way it has, and I’ll make you come more than you thought was possible. That’s a promise, and I’ll want more, too. This once or twice a week is not at all what I want. I’m going to need it a lot more than this.”
“What happens if I don’t go along with it, Zane? Then what?”
It wasn’t an answer that I wanted to give her. Why did she have to be so hardheaded about it when I knew that her body was dying for more as we stood here and talked?
“Then I’ll tell the world what kind of a doctor you really are. You’ll lose your license and your whole life will be over.”
It summed it up real quick, but I hated to see her face fall and the wisp of a tear go to her eye. I didn’t want to make her cry, but it was about time that she realized what this was. This was our life, and I wasn’t going to let her ruin it with her morals and indecisiveness. I was sure enough for the both of us.
“You would really do that, Zane? You would turn me in and ruin my reputation?”
Taking her chin in my hand, I made her look at me, just so she could see that what I was saying was true. I was dead serious about it, and I wanted her to know it. “I’ll do anything to keep you, Camilla, anything. I know that you’ve heard that before, but I’m different. I’ll do whatever is necessary to keep you. There’s nothing that will keep me away from you, so just remember that. This is happening. You’re mine, whether you like it or not. If not now, you’ll eventually come to love me like I love you, and then you’ll see why it has to be this way.”
“Please, Zane.”
“Just tell me what you want, Camilla, and I’ll do it.”
Part 7: Exposed
Dr. Camilla is trying hard to hold everything in, but the blackmail by her patient and lover is enough to send her over the edge. She can’t take it anymore and she finally lets it all out. It’s like a weight off of her shoulders – but the listening ear is not who she expected.
Tyler is strong, and he sees that she’s bothered. He pushes her to tell him, and because she really wants to get it off her chest, she does. Camilla just didn’t realize how good it was going to feel and how sweet Tyler was going to be. He cradles her in his arms to make her feel better and leans in for a kiss. Then her world turns even further upside down.
Chapter 1 – Camilla
“So what’s going on with you lately? You aren’t yourself, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you ignore a guy like that giving you the eye.”
I looked up to the guy she was talking about and I wasn’t impressed. Nothing impressed me anymore. Men were more trouble than they were worth. There was either no passion and just a friendship or something like what I had going on with Zane. We didn’t say much to each other, but the passion was there. In his case, there was far too much passion, and as soon as he wasn’t touching me, I could see how messed up it all was.
“I’m not looking.”
“So who are you dating?”
I wanted to tell her about Zane. I wanted to tell someone everything that was going on, what was said, but then I would show the dirt on my own hands. He was a patient and he was off limits. The fact that he was stalking me and was now making my life very uncomfortable was just a testament to why I shouldn’t mess with my patients in the first place. I should have learned my lesson.
“I’m not dating anyone.”
“So why are you not worried about the hot guy at nine o’clock, then?”
She was looking at him, and I was sure that it was because she wanted to go over there and see if he was looking at her. I wasn’t interested in anything, knowing that I couldn’t even deal with the relationship that I was in.
“I’m just not. Why don’t you go over there and see if he wants to buy you a drink?”
“It isn’t about that.”
I smiled at her. It was cute that she was trying to play it off. “It’s fine, really. I’m just going to sit here and nurse this drink. I’m not going anywhere.”
She looked unsure, but I was just happy that the concern for me was gone. I didn’t like having to lie to her, but I knew what she would say and I didn’t want to hear it. I knew that it was wrong. I didn’t need someone else telling me so.
Watching her walk up to the table that she’d been trying to get me to pay attention to, I couldn’t help but see the slight look that came my way. He was interested in me, but I felt nothing. After I figured out a way to get rid of Zane, I wasn’t too sure that I was going to be jumping into anything for a while. Love and the like always seemed to get me in trouble. For a girl that had loved love, I wasn’t sure that I was choosing the best approach to sanity. I didn’t feel very sane.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
I looked up to see the man who had been giving me the eye. When I saw Carol, she was talking to another guy. Her interests had changed so quickly! Why couldn’t Zane get sick of me in the same way? It would make my life so much easier if he fell for another woman and didn’t think that we were meant to be together.
Carol came back after a time and I rebuffed a few more guys. My polite ‘no thank you’ was not taken the best way a couple of times, but I was used to the anger that could result. I knew that it was just a way for them to displace the rejection, but I was tired and ready to go home. When she told me that she was staying with Thomas, I just kind of gave her a look. Who was I to judge, right?
“If you’re sure you’re going to be okay, I’m going to head on home.”
“You aren’t going to stay and dance?”
Shaking my head, I told her that I was tired and I had a long day ahead of me.
“Okay, Camilla, but we’re going to talk about what’s going on with you tomorrow.”
“Fine, and then you can tell me how it goes with Tom.”
She had the decency to blush and the confidence to not disagree with what I said. We both knew what she was going to be doing tonight, but for the first time in a long time, I did not feel an ounce of envy for her. I’d had enough of romance for a while.
***
“You look distracted today, Doc.”
“Why does everyone keep telling me that?”
“Because you are. What’s on your mind?”
“That’s what I just asked you.”
“And I told you, but I would bet you another lunch that you don’t even remember what I said less than five minutes ago. If I were less of a man, I would get a little irritated that I couldn’t keep your attention.”
“You can’t have everyone’s attention.”
“No, but the one that I pay a couple hundred an hour for, I think I should.”
His tone wasn’t snippy, but his comment got
me back to reality. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I don’t know where my mind is lately. I’m listening. Please tell me again, and this time I promise that you’ll have my full attention.”
“I would have thought that I was more memorable than that, Doc. I’ve never had a complaint before.”
“Well, I’m sure that if you did get one, you wouldn’t hear it that way.”
I didn’t know why I was mentally sparring with Tyler. He was the wrong one to do it with, and more than that, he was one of the patients that I actually liked to see. What was wrong with me? Why was I pushing him away? I knew I was doing it as I was doing it, and it bothered me that I couldn’t seem to stop.
“You’re right, Doc. If I did hear it, I wouldn’t really hear it. I’m working on hearing what’s said and not what I want. You’ve made me think of what I’m doing more. But something is on your mind, and you’re no good to me this way. What’s going on with you lately? The last couple of weeks you’ve been different. You know that you can talk to me, right?”
I wished that it was true. Sometimes I felt like I had no one to talk to and I was just going deeper and deeper into trouble with Zane. I was in way over my head, but I wasn’t sure what I could do to fix the situation. Talking about it didn’t seem to be the answer.
“I don’t think that talking about it is going to help much.”
“That’s pretty rich coming from someone who does what you do for a living.”
He had me there, and I pressed my lips together to stop myself from saying something that I was going to regret. I wanted to tell him that it was different. I was there to help them see what they already knew. Me, I had no clue how to handle this situation.
“Maybe some things are just too big.”
He shook his head. “Nothing is too big.”
I didn’t agree with him. It was easy to say that when he didn’t know what I was going through. I was sure if he knew, he wouldn’t look at me the same, but at least he wouldn’t think that it was no big deal. My problem was not something that could be talked through.
“This is too big, Tyler, even for someone like me.”
Chapter 2 – Tyler
“Try me.”
She was looking distraught, and I don’t know why, but there was an urge inside of me to go to her, hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. That’s what she needed, by the looks of things. She just needed someone to hear her out and help her see that everything wasn’t as bad as it felt. I wanted to be that person for her, although I couldn’t remember a time that I’d wanted to do that for anyone else.
“I couldn’t, really, Tyler.”
“It’s my hour. That’s what you’re always telling me, and I’m more than willing to give it up. I want to hear how you’re doing, Camilla.”
I’d never called her by her first name before and it felt a little strange. I liked that it was more intimate, but I wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
The title that I gave her seemed to help her to open up. No longer was I her patient, I was her friend. That was what I wanted. Well, I wanted to be more than her friend, but I would settle for less to get in the door. It wasn’t the first time that I’d thought of Camilla in more than a doctor sort of way. She was too beautiful to be just that to me.
“Okay, Tyler. I’m going to tell you something that I haven’t ever told anyone.”
“Are you talking about that patient that you were seeing?”
Her face screwed up like she’d forgotten that she’d told me about it. “Yeah, it’s about him.”
“So did you break up with him? When we were talking in the car, you told me about him stalking you.”
“Well, I’m not one hundred percent sure, or I wasn’t then.”
“And now you are.”
Camilla nodded and put her head down. I didn’t know if it was because she couldn’t meet my gaze, but I had a feeling that it was about more than what she was saying.
“Yes, he’s stalking me, watching me right now, most likely. It’s really creeping me out.”
“So why don’t you just break up with him? I thought that was what you were planning on doing?”
That was when I finally saw the woman break in front of me. She was usually so strong, helping everyone else, but now she needed some help of her own. Camilla looked like she was going to lose it if someone didn’t help her soon. I couldn’t turn away from her, and for the first time ever, I didn’t want to. Instead of running far away when I saw a woman start to cry, I moved to her and leaned down to hug her. It wasn’t proper, but it was the right thing to do at the moment.
“It’s going to be okay, Camilla. Just tell me what’s going on.”
“He won’t let me go. I tried to tell him that it’s best that we go our separate ways.”
“Then what happened?”
“He just told me that it wasn’t like that and I didn’t have a choice. He said that I was his and if I tried to break up with him or change anything, then he was going to out me.”
“Out you?”
“I can lose my license for having a sexual relationship with a patient. It’s frowned upon… God, I can’t believe that I’m telling you all of this.”
She tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, but I stopped her and did it myself. I didn’t want the moment to go away. It was the moment that I’d been waiting for. Now it was here, and before I could stop myself, I was pulling her towards me and holding her in my arms. She felt like she was supposed to be there the whole time, and there was nothing that I could do to take that feeling away. I’d always known that there was something different, special, about her, but it was then that I really felt it. The first kiss brought not only a symphony in my ear, but pleasure to my lips.
Camilla moaned into my mouth before I swallowed up the sound and her body melted against me. I lifted her arms up to wrap around my neck and then she used the hold on me to push her body alongside mine. It felt good. She felt good, maybe too good.
I felt her small hands pushing against my chest, and though I didn’t want to stop, I did. It occurred to me what I was doing, but I didn’t want to stop. If she would just have given me a sign that I could keep going, I would have.
“Tyler, I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. I just thought that you needed a kiss.”
“Was that the only reason that you kissed me? Because I needed it?”
“No, I kissed you because I’ve wanted to do that for a while. I’m sorry that I did it then. I could have picked a better time, but there’s no time like now.”
She didn’t answer me, but sat back down in her chair, while I made my way to the other side of the room. I had a feeling that I’d taken it too far, but I wasn’t going to regret it. Not one bit. Nothing that got her into my arms was ever going to be regretted.
“We can’t do that again, Tyler. I have enough to worry about without getting involved in another can of worms.”
“You’re looking at this all the wrong way. I wouldn’t be like that.”
“I know, Tyler, but I just can’t. Thank you for listening to me, but I have to figure this out myself.”
“I worry about you, Camilla. You’re not as tough as you like to pretend.”
She looked off, a bittersweet smile on her face. “I know. I try to be, but ever since that shooting, I’m starting to realize that I’m not as strong as I want to be. I wish that I could just brush everything to the side like you do. I just don’t have it in me, I don’t think.”
“You don’t want to be like me, Camilla. I wish I could feel more. Most of the time I think I’m the one who’s wrong and everyone else is how it’s supposed to be. I would give anything to be a little more normal.”
She shook her head, not sure what I meant. I never talked about my sense of inadequacy with anyone, never wanted to show my vulnerability, but with Camilla it was different. I knew that she wasn’t going to judge me, and I needed that more than good advice. I wanted to give that
to her as well, because it was a wonderful gift.
Chapter 3 – Dylan
I made my way to the doctor’s office. I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to say to her. The last time I’d seen her, all she’d got me thinking about was what was going to happen to me and Maya. I didn’t like the thoughts that she brought up in my mind. I’d let it get to me, and I’d taken it out on Maya. It had done me good, though, and I’d gotten a lot off of my chest. I think it also changed the way that Maya looked at me. She was starting to really understand that I wasn’t prepared to share her anymore. I was ready for it to be just us.
That night, after I talked to her and told her what I was really feeling, Maya had come by later. She’d stayed long enough for us to both get the pleasure of each other, and then she stayed the night. It was the first time that I’d gotten to hold her in my arms all night and not have to worry about her husband in the morning. Maya hadn’t mentioned him, and that was just as well for me.
I wanted to tell someone the good news, and I knew that it was Camilla that I wanted to tell. In a way it was because she’d told me that it was one way and now that I knew it wasn’t, I wanted her to see it as I did, for what it truly was. We were in love, and although we hadn’t met in the most ideal way, there was sweetness to our meeting. It was going to be a good story to tell our grandchildren one day.
“Hey, Dylan. It’s good to see you here.”
I walked into her office and took a seat across from her desk. She sat back down, and the smile was genuine. She was happy to see me, and even though she was wrong about me and Maya, I knew that she was going to be happy for me. Camilla was always rooting me on, and she was one of the only people in the city that I knew was on my side.
“It’s good to be here, Dr. Camilla.”
“After last week’s tension, I was afraid I might not see you again.”
“I’ve been coming here for so long it’s really like habit nowadays.”
She smiled back at me, but I could tell that she had something on her mind. Her eyes weren’t as clear as they usually were, and the attention was still not there. The doctor had something else to think of, and I wanted to pull her back in. I was going to tell her the news that was literally ready to burst out of me. The longer I sat there, the more excited I was to tell her.
