by Mia Ford
They had to be outside, she thought, and wiping her hands on the apron Celia walked to the back of the house towards the porch. But she stopped in her tracks when she heard raised voices. They were fighting again. It was Wilder’s enraged voice that had made her stop in her tracks and she pressed her back to the wall and stood to listen.
“Watch your step, little brother.” She could sense that Wilder was speaking through gritted teeth.
“You’re just jealous because you know that Celia will accept my offer.” Conrad’s light hearted voice came through. This time too it was Wilder who was the more furious one, while Conrad was more calm and relaxed. Surprisingly, he wasn’t very afraid of his brother.
“She will not, and if she does then you’re doomed.” Wilder spoke, still angry, still yelling but trying to keep his voice low at the same time. Conrad gave out a shrill laugh.
“What is even your problem, Wilder? It’s not like you can have her.” Conrad said, sending a thrill down Celia’s spine. It was still their little secret. The truth was that Wilder did have her, he had her virginity, he was the only man she had given in to. She wanted to hear what he had to say, wanted to hear it in his voice. Wilder was silent for a few moments, while Celia tried to suppress a smile.
“What makes you think I even want her?” He spat out, wiping the smile off Celia’s face. She felt her lips twitch, she had heard the hatred in Wilder’s voice. He really didn’t care. He regretted what had happened that night. And he wasn’t about to confess to his brother.
“Because nobody else wants you. Because your wife left you and you have nothing to look forward to in your life.” Conrad said, still with the laugh in his voice. His words had stung Celia as well. They were harsh words, words nobody deserved to hear. But perhaps Wilder deserved it. Perhaps he was the kind of man who deserved to have his brother say this to him.
“Don’t talk about Katherine. You have no right to talk about Katherine.” Wilder’s voice was even more enraged now. Celia heard a light thud, Wilder had pushed Conrad to the wall. But Conrad only laughed. He enjoyed inciting violence in his brother, he enjoyed the reaction. Celia’s breath was caught in her throat. She was eavesdropping on a private conversation. She shouldn’t have been listening to any of this.
“I have as much right to talk about Katherine as you do.” Conrad said when he stopped laughing.
“Shut up. Stop talking about her.” Wilder was yelling.
“You made Katherine so unhappy that she had no other choice. She was so lonely and angry with you that…” Conrad continued, ignoring his brother’s rage.
“You were eighteen. You were a child. She had no right. You didn’t know what you were doing, but she did.” Wilder was yelling again, but Celia could tell that he wasn’t yelling at his brother. He was yelling at the world, at himself.
“I was old enough to know that she wanted me. And you made that happen. You pushed her towards me.” Conrad continued, and Celia gasped. She covered her mouth with her hand. Wilder’s wife had slept with his brother. That was why she left. That was why Wilder was so bitter.
“That’s enough, Conrad.” Wilder said, he was breathing hard but his voice had dropped.
“Are you ashamed, big brother? That your beautiful new bride wanted your eighteen-year-old brother more than she wanted you?” Conrad continued, laughing a little.
Celia was at the verge of tears. She couldn’t stand the things that Conrad was saying. She couldn’t imagine the pain that Wilder was in.
“I said, that’s enough.” Wilder growled, but Conrad only laughed.
“You’ll never get over it. And you’ll never have Celia. Because she doesn’t want you.” Conrad added.
“And I don’t want her!” Wilder yelled, his voice thick with emotion and anger. Celia wanted to scream too, but she couldn’t.
“Good. Because it’s not happening.” She heard Conrad say and then the shuffle of his feet. He was climbing down the porch and walking away from Wilder. He had left his older brother to stand and brood by himself.
Celia allowed a few minutes to pass. She could sense that Wilder was still out there. He was breathing loudly, harshly; like he was trying to force himself to calm down. Like he was trying to forget the things that Conrad had just said to him. Then she snuck out from her position behind the wall and opened the porch door.
“Wilder?” She called out to him in a soft voice.
She could see him standing at the edge of the porch, looking out at the ranch. He was leaning slumped against a wooden arch, completely unaware of Celia’s presence there. When he heard her voice, he whipped around to find her. Even in the dark dusky light she could see that his eyes were bloodshot and red, he hardly had any control over his breathing.
“What do you want, Celia?” He hurled the words at her.
“I just wanted to speak with you for a bit. I just wanted to see how you were doing.” She said kindly, hoping that he would see that she was there in peace. She didn’t want to fight with him. She had felt just as hurt by Conrad’s words as he probably was. She could physically feel his pain.
Wilder’s sandy blonde hair fell thickly over his eyes; he wasn’t wearing his hat. His blue eyes looked small and dark. He was breathing heavily, with his lips parted.
“No, Celia, what do you really want?” He repeated himself. She was confused, her brows were furrowed. What was he asking her? She took a few steps towards him, and he straightened himself, watching her every move.
“You know what I want. You felt it.” She said softly, walking up close to him now. She could see that his gaze had dropped to her breasts. Was he as aroused as she was? Did he feel the same way around her as she did when he was near? Were there goosebumps on his flesh too? She wished he knew the effect he had on her, even with just his voice.
Wilder remained quiet, and Celia extended her hand, gently daring to touch his cheek. His skin was ruddy, tanned and rough. He hadn’t shaved still, and his emerging beard was rough but still quite short. She stroked it delicately, enjoying the tingling feeling of its coarseness on her skin. She wanted his mouth on hers. She wanted to thrust her tongue into his mouth. She wanted that beard to chafe her skin as he licked her neck.
“Wilder…” She breathed his name. He didn’t move, he was standing very still, looking at her face, at her body.
She placed another hand on his chest, slipping in a finger through the gap in his shirt so that she could feel the solid muscles on his chest. Celia felt herself growing wet immediately. She wanted him again. She wanted to feel him inside her. He was the most delicious man she had ever met.
“I do want you. Conrad doesn’t know what I want.” She dared to say, and watched as his eyes grew wild. He looked angrier than before, but only licked his lips, studying the curves of her jaw, her lips. She could see he wanted her, he was growing in his pants. She dropped her gaze to watch it grow. She liked the power she had on him, as much as he tried to resist her, he couldn’t. His body wouldn’t let him.
She turned her face to him and smiled.
“Say you want me too.” She whispered. He hadn’t said a word yet, but focused his attention on her cleavage. Celia dropped her hand from his chest to the bulge in his pants and he grabbed her by the wrist. That same strength had returned to his arm, and Celia nearly gasped.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Wilder hissed, bringing his face close to her face.
“I know you want me, Wilder.” Celia cried, her voice tearing as she squirmed under his fiery gaze.
“You are making plans with my brother. You’re going to be Conrad’s woman, what are you doing touching me?” Wilder hissed again. Celia tried jerking her hand out of his grip but he held her tightly.
“That isn’t true, I haven’t told him anything. He says he wants me, but I want you.” She tried explaining, but Wilder was holding her close to him, tightening his grip on her hand.
“No, you listen to me Celia. I won’t allow you to play us. I’m not as foolish as C
onrad. You can have each other, you both deserve it. Just leave me alone. You hear?” He let go of her hand suddenly, and the force of it nearly threw Celia off her balance. She rocked back gently and then Conrad pushed past her, back into the house.
She was left out in the porch, alone again in the dark, for a second time by him. She couldn’t understand it. Why was he treating her like this? What did he want from her? Why was he so afraid of admitting that he wanted her just as much as she wanted him?
Footsteps up ahead distracted her, and Celia drew in quick breaths. It was Conrad coming up to the porch again, and she ran her fingers through her strawberry blonde curls in impatience. At least he was a friendly face.
“There you are, my beautiful girl.” Conrad climbed up to the porch two steps at a time. Before she had the chance to say anything he had pulled her in close to himself and was kissing her. Celia’s face froze as their lips pressed together. She wasn’t kissing him back but Conrad didn’t seem to notice. He kissed her, and she noticed that he had cold lips, but she didn’t struggle in his arms.
“Jack needs his dinner.” Wilder’s voice broke them apart, and Celia gasped, hiding her face away from him. He was standing behind her. He had crept up on them quietly. His voice was calm now, accepting and resigned.
“Sure, let’s go have dinner.” Conrad said with a flourish and she felt his hand on hers, tugging her in his direction. Celia kept her face hidden from Wilder as she was pulled past him into the house. She couldn’t bear to look at him. He had caught her kissing Conrad, mere minutes after she had claimed that she wanted him instead, after she had just tried to seduce him.
“That smells great.” Conrad said, tugging her gently towards the dining room. Celia smiled quickly and turned her face away from him. She had avoided looking at Wilder successfully, but it also meant that she didn’t know what he was thinking, she hadn’t seen his eyes. He must really hate her now, she thought, now his suspicions were definitely proven correctly. Now Wilder would be sure that she was playing the two brothers, that she was only trying to seduce him for her own gains.
Celia could barely breathe. She didn’t know how she would share dinner in the middle of these two men.
They were eating their dinner in complete silence. Not one of them had spoken a word yet, except Celia’s grandfather who was so happy to taste the casserole that he couldn’t hide the glow from his face.
“This is exactly like my wife’s, your grandma’s. Thank you, Celia, my child you have made me so happy.” Jack was happy, smacking his lips as he took each bite of his dinner. Celia pushed the food around in her plate in silence, only acknowledging her grandfather’s compliments with a weak smile.
Conrad was sitting next to her, not bothering to hide the smug smile on his face. He had just stolen a kiss from her, and had seated himself beside her. In his mind, it was all but accepted that she and him were going to be together.
Wilder was at the head of the table again, concentrating on his food, not looking at anybody. Celia couldn’t look at him either. She was too ashamed, too upset, she couldn’t think of a single thing to say. She wished she hadn’t come here, that she had never met Wilder…then a man like Conrad would have been more than good enough for her.
Jack finished his food and pushed his plate away from him.
“I’m stuffed. That was brilliant.” He said, rubbing his stomach energetically.
“You are a star.” Conrad turned to her, wiping the corners of his mouth with a tissue paper. Celia smiled again, looking at Wilder with short bursts of glances. He had still not finished his food; he wasn’t looking up.
“You have a talented granddaughter, Jack. She really knows her stuff.” Conrad continued with the compliments. Celia wasn’t blushing, she wasn’t even paying attention to his words.
Wilder suddenly stood up from his chair, picking the half-eaten plate of casserole from in front of him.
“I’ll do it.” Celia stood up too.
“No, I’ll tidy up.” Wilder said, without looking at her.
“But you haven’t even finished it. Didn’t you like it? Was it too spicy?” Celia asked, wringing her hands together.
“Don’t be offended by Wilder, Celia. He doesn’t appreciate anything that anyone does for him.” Conrad commented. The two brothers exchanged bitter looks, while Conrad remained seated. Wilder took his plate and his empty glass from the table and disappeared into the kitchen.
Jack was still clutching belly, and he smiled at his grand-daughter.
“Why don’t I get you ready for bed instead then, grandpa?” Celia asked him.
“Before you do that, can we have a private chat first, Celia?” Conrad had placed a hand on hers, and she looked at him. His blue eyes sparkled in their friendliness. His dark hair was brushed back and glistening in the light from the yellow lamps in the dining room.
“Do you mind, grandpa? To wait a bit?” Celia asked him.
Jack looked at her, with concern in his eyes. Then he looked at Conrad. He wasn’t sure what to think of the whole thing.
“Oh don’t look so frightened, Jack! I’m not going to gobble up your grand-daughter.” Conrad stood up from his chair with an accomplished laugh.
“Of course I don’t mind. But what are you two going to talk about?” Jack asked, turning to Celia again. She gulped, aware that her grandfather had his suspicions. Moreover, there was no way that she was going to tell him about the little arrangement she was discussing with Conrad. What would he think of her?
“You don’t have to concern yourself with that, old sport.” Conrad said and grabbed Celia’s hand again, leading her out of the drawing room into the living room.
When they got there, Celia pulled her hand away from his.
“You can’t behave like that in front of grandpa.” She said, twisting her eyebrows in annoyance at him. She was trying so hard to like him, trying so hard to appreciate his affection for her…but she couldn’t, not when she was feeling the way she did about Wilder.
“Behave like what?” Conrad asked, standing very close to her.
“I don’t want him to know about us.” Celia said, looking about her nervously. Conrad smiled and then placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Does that mean you’re saying yes?” He asked. Celia licked her lips and looked at him.
“No, not yet. I’m still thinking about it.” She said.
Conrad’s face darkened immediately. The smile had disappeared and was replaced by a sour scorn.
“What is taking you so much time to decide? I’m just handing over an easy-going life to you, for almost nothing more in return. I know you enjoyed that kiss. I know you want to sleep with me. Teasing me isn’t working, Celia.” He spoke quickly, harshly and she flinched from the words he was flinging at her. She suddenly wanted to cry.
“I’m not teasing you. It’s just not easy for me. I feel like a prostitute doing this.” She said and Conrad smiled, squeezing her shoulder.
“No…don’t think like that.” He said and placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face up at him. “That is not who you will be to me. This is a chance at a legitimate relationship. I need you and you need me.” He said, but she didn’t reply.
“Make up your mind Celia. I’ll be waiting for you in my room, otherwise we will have to make different living arrangements for you and Jack.” He said and drew his hand away from her quickly. Celia gulped again as she watched Conrad leave the room in a hurry. He was threatening her now! He was going to have her grandfather and her thrown out of their home if she didn’t comply with him. Where would they go? Back to New York? But her grandfather didn’t want to be anywhere else but here. Such a thing would break his heart. She felt like crying, she was growing desperate. What had she gotten herself into?
She turned on her heels and walked back into the dining room to be with her grandfather. Celia was fighting back tears, keeping them back for his sake.
But he wasn’t there.
“Grandpa!” She yelled out
, in a sudden fear that something had happened to him.
Celia ran out of the dining room, towards his bedroom, her feet sliding over the oak floors as she rushed. Celia flung open the door to his bedroom. And there he was, and so was Wilder. Her grandfather was sitting on the edge of his bed, with his feet dipped into a broad bucket of water. Wilder was at his feet, scrubbing the older man’s feet with a coarse sponge. They had both looked up at Celia when she burst in through the door.
She couldn’t stop the tumult of emotions that rushed into her heart when she saw them there. Never in her wildest dreams would she had imagined Wilder like this, so gentle and caring towards anyone. They were natural in each other’s company. It was evident that Wilder had done this for her grandfather before, that he probably even did it quite often.
Her hand flew to her mouth as she stared at them. She knew that her eyes were watering.
“Come in dear, Mr. Moore is just scrubbing my feet. I can’t reach them when I take my bath you see.” Her grandfather said kindly.
Celia was looking at Wilder, her brown eyes wide, and he was looking back at her too, innocently.
“Do you need some help?” She managed to say.
Wilder turned around, gave the older man’s feet a final scrub and then stood up, lifting the bucket up by its handle.
“Thank you, but we’re all done here. You can tuck him in if you like. I’ve helped him change already.” Wilder said and walked past her and out of the bedroom.
Her grandfather silently lifted his feet up on the bed and straightened them. Celia walked over, tugging the covers over him and then tucking them into the sides of his bed. She knelt down by his side and her grandfather reached for her face with both his hands.
“Thank you dear, thank you for being here. I know what kind of sacrifice it is for you, leaving your life and your job behind in New York.” He said, his voice breaking as he spoke to her. Celia’s eyes were still watery. She was looking into the face of a very sick man. A man she loved dearly, but whom she had ignored for the past few years.
“I would do it all over again if I had to, grandpa. This is what families do, and you are my family.” She said, touching his hand where it rested on his cheek.
