by Lisa Lace
Swimming did give me a temporary feeling of peacefulness. But when I went back to the house and thought about Sophie sleeping peacefully somewhere inside, I became frustrated all over again. Was I going to follow my head or my heart?
Before I had to make a decision, my computer flashed, and I glanced at the screen. It was a message from Morda. I considered deleting it before I read what she had to say but ignored the childish urge. I swiped it open, wondering what she wanted to discuss. Hadn’t we just seen each other? As I read further, I appreciated that I hadn’t deleted it. The feeling of relief was so strong that I had to sit down on the bed because my legs wouldn’t support me.
Morda had landed safely on Marka. But immediately after her arrival, the intensity of the solar storms required them to ground all the spaceflights. Communications on the planet were intermittent, and the storms were ongoing. She wouldn’t be able to return to Biyaha for at least another week, maybe more. That meant that she wouldn’t return in time to marry before my birthday. She apologized but said I would have to find someone else.
I grinned at my incredible luck. But now I needed to find someone to marry again. This time, I knew the right girl, and nothing could go wrong.
I snuck up the back stairway to avoid running into my mother. I couldn’t face her today, not yet. Not until after I talked with Sophie. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but I had to fix the fiasco on The Boat. I stood outside her door for a few minutes feeling like a boy working up the nerve to talk to his crush.
Finally, I made myself knock on the door. I wasn’t twelve years old. There was no answer, but I heard someone moving around in the room.
“Sophie?” I called through the door. “I need to talk to you, please.”
There was no response.
“I’ll only be a minute. Will you please open the—”
The door opened abruptly, and Sophie stood in front of me looking as terrible as I felt. Her eyes looked puffy. Her hair in a messy braid. And she was wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt that was so big on her that it was falling off one bare shoulder.
She still looked beautiful to me. I pulled my gaze away from the sight of her skin.
“Can I come in for a minute?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Her voice was tight, her face unhappy.
“Then come walk with me. Please, Sophie. We need to talk. It’s important.”
“Fine.” She stepped out the doorway and pulled it closed behind her.
We went down the back stairs and out the side door. We followed a path to a boardwalk that ran the length of the lake on the far side, away from our house. A person could walk for hours beside the lake undisturbed if they wanted to. It was perfect.
Neither one of us said anything. I was trying to figure out the right words. I wasn’t sure why Sophie was quiet, but she wasn’t pleased with me, and I didn’t blame her.
“First of all, I want to apologize for last night,” I said, not knowing where else to begin.
“Apologize.” She sounded pissed, and I wondered what I had done wrong already.
“Yes, apologize. Keep your voice down, Sophie. Sound carries across the water.”
“For what, exactly?” She spoke barely above a whisper, her bearing stiff and upset.
“For letting things get out of hand.”
“Is that what you call what happened last night? A mistake?”
“I’m not apologizing for kissing you if that’s what you mean.”
Her steps slowed, and she started to look relaxed, but her expression was still wary. “Then what are you apologizing for?”
“For letting it go past a kiss into something more than a kiss, I suppose. It was wrong because I know your beliefs. I shouldn’t have let things go that far. If my mother hadn’t interrupted, I’m not sure what would have happened.”
Her eyes slid away from mine. We both knew what would have happened if my mother hadn’t called me.
“You know, we didn’t do anything unforgivable.” She said something similar last night as she looked away from me out across the lake.
“Come on. We need to talk in private, where we won’t be overheard.” Part of me wanted to reach out and take her hand. I didn’t think she would welcome me touching her right now.
“I agree.”
“Good. I know a place.” I led her off the boardwalk and back to my house.
“Grab your suit and we’ll go to the island.”
“Have you forgotten something? I can’t swim, Khellen.”
“Just wear the life band and you’ll be fine.”
“Why can’t we take The Boat?”
“Well, its absence will be noticeable, for one thing.” Then I responded with a more practical answer. “It’s hot. And you wanted to spend time in the water, right? We can talk undisturbed while on the island. Meet me down by the water in your swimsuit in five minutes.”
It didn’t take us long to cross to the isle. She may not have swum before, but Sophie was a natural athlete and soon figured out the stroke I used. We reached the island in about ten minutes. It was slower than my usual speed but pretty good for someone without any experience.
We took a steep path off the beach that emerged onto a ledge about four feet deep and ten feet long. When the ridge ended, the cliff fell away dropping down about twenty feet to the forest below. From up here we could see the beach and the lake in the distance. My mother’s house was barely visible, the roof peeking through the purple treetops. Sophie came out behind me a second later and sucked in her breath.
“You should have taken me here first.” Her voice was soft. We stood side by side admiring the view. The purple forest stretched away, dotted with blue lakes and isolated houses. “It’s beautiful.”
I turned to look at her and said the first thing that popped into my head. “So are you.”
Even without preparing her face, after a night of what had been a restless sleep, with dark circles under her eyes and baggy clothes — even then, she looked good to me. She was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen.
It looked like she didn’t even hear me.
“Marry me, Sophie.” My words surprised me even though they had been at the back of my mind ever since I brought her here.
She continued to stare at the view. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re engaged to Morda, and I’m single for life.”
“Morda can’t return to the planet in time. Solar storms delayed her. She won’t be here before my birthday.”
She stared at me. “Khellen, this isn't a good idea.”
“Please,” I begged, taking her hands. “I need you.”
She appeared to be unmoved, so I brought out the arguments I had prepared on our way here. “It will be a marriage of convenience. You’d be doing it to help me out.”
“Wow, that sounds terrific.” I wondered if I detected the hint of disappointment in her eyes. “I’d love to participate in a business arrangement on my vacation, but my life on Earth would be ruined. I would lose my job and credibility in the organization. Everything I’ve worked toward would vanish.”
I dropped my head, looking at the ground, trying to figure out how to change her mind. “We wouldn’t have to tell anyone on Earth. Marry me for a year. We’ll keep it secret. Take a leave of absence. At the end of the year, we get divorced. I don’t disappear forever, you go back to your life, and no one is the wiser.”
I watched as her face went blank. “It would be a marriage of convenience? A marriage in name only?”
“Yes,” I said, never taking my eyes away from hers. “What else could it be?”
She blinked, her face a steely mask that gave nothing away. “Of course, what else?” she repeated, a faraway look in her eye. And even though I had no right to expect anything, I felt like she had taken my heart out and stomped on it. “Are you sure no one would find out?”
We began to work out the details.
“My mother works in the vital statistics division, remember? We get married, and she’ll e
nter the information into the system. No one will have to know. Can you get a leave of absence?”
“I think so. I’m friends with my boss, Nora, so I should be able to. She won’t be happy when I don’t start my new position right away, but the person I’m replacing wanted to ease into retirement gradually, letting me take on more and more responsibility until she was ready to leave. She’ll just have to start transferring her load a year later than she planned.”
“Good. You can be my mail order bride.” I tried to lighten the mood with a joke. She glared at me, but I couldn’t seem to stop talking. “In the old days when the Great Race was moving out into the galaxy, there were more men than women on the colonization planets. They would message back and forth with a woman and then she would—”
“I know, Khellen.” She interrupted me, her tone scathing.
“It was only a joke, Sophie. You know, because we never met in person before yesterday, and we’ve been corresponding.”
“I said I got the joke, Khellen.” Her eyes traveled over the incredible vista that lay before us, but I had a feeling she didn’t seeing it anymore.
“Sophie?” She didn’t look at me. “What do you say? Will you marry me?”
When she finally turned to meet my eye, there was nothing but sad resignation on her face. “Sure,” she said, her eyes empty. “Why not? To help you out. Because we’re friends.”
At that moment, I felt we were as far from friends as two people could be.
Chapter Eight
SOPHIE
How could I have been so clueless? Khellen wasn’t interested in me. Sure, he wanted me physically. We had chemistry together, but he didn’t care about me as anything other than a friend. He needed me to marry him because he didn’t want to be taken by his government. If our positions were reversed, I’m sure I would have asked him to assist me as well.
The sick feeling in my stomach was because I thought he might have the same feelings for me that I had for him. I had believed that we might be falling in love. Lust was not the same as love, and I had gotten the two mixed up. I was going to pay because I cared about Khellen more than he cared about me. It was a recipe for a broken heart.
The hours passed in a blur as Khellen and his mother made the arrangements. Everything would be done in complete secrecy to protect me.
I contacted Nora and told her that my friend needed me on Biyaha. He was going through a hard time, and I planned to stay if she would approve a one-year leave of absence. She was reluctant to grant my request, but I told her that if she denied my request, I would have to reassess my future with the organization. That changed her tune quickly. Single for Life had a hard time recruiting staff, so once they found a good employee, they did their best to keep them. Nora sent the paperwork immediately.
The next step was going to the temple to get married in the evening. We wore ordinary clothes in order not to arouse suspicions. Khellen’s mother would be the witness. There would be no fanfare. No guests. Nothing but a contract between two people. It seemed appropriate. I was having a hard time balancing the desires of my heart with the knowledge in my head. Empty eyes stared back at me from the mirror. How had my life gotten so turned around in such a short time?
The three of us rushed down the beaten path to the temple and entered through a side door.
“Welcome,” said the priest. “Do you have the donation, Fiona?”
Khellen’s mother held out an envelope. His mother had offered an enormous contribution to the temple, securing the priest’s silence on the matter.
The middle-aged man smiled and tucked the envelope beneath his green robes. With a flourish of his hand, he indicated that we should stand by the altar. Khellen and I moved into position facing the priest. His mother sat in a pew at the front. I didn’t hear anything until the priest told us to join hands. Khellen had to reach out and take mine because I hadn’t offered them. If the priest noticed any coldness between us, he gave no indication of anything unusual.
“Embrace,” the priest intoned, and Khellen pulled me into his arms. His warmth felt good and bad at the same time. I knew he was only doing it because he had to, not because he wanted to.
I couldn’t resist asking a question. “How can you trust me to make a vow to you when I’ll be breaking another promise?”
I could tell that he had been about to release me, but didn’t after I spoke. I felt his breath on my ear and barely repressed a shiver. “You made a promise to stay single on Earth, Sophie. You’re not on Earth anymore.”
My mind reeled as he let me go. He was right. Was I technically breaking my vow at all? Perhaps it had been written that way on purpose. The commitment didn’t matter if you weren’t living on Earth. Most planets didn’t have an overpopulation problem. For the first time, I began to feel better.
Khellen smiled as the light dawned on me and I let him take my hands again.
“Do you, Khellen John Lynch swear to take Sophie Enya McCallistair for your lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?”
Khellen gazed directly into my eyes, and I saw nothing but the truth as he spoke. “I do.”
Two words caused my bad feelings to return. I knew it was a lie. I didn’t blame him for it; I only wished we could have married under different circumstances.
“Do you, Sophie Enya McCallistair, take Khellen John Lynch for your lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?”
I held his gaze, knowing he thought I was only saying it for a show, too. But I meant it. “I do.”
The priest smiled kindly. “Do you have the bands?” I watched as Khellen pulled out two thin silver bands that gave off a rainbow gleam when he turned them in the light. “Put one on Sophie,” the priest instructed. Khellen slid the band up my left arm, almost to the elbow. When it became tight, I watched it meld into my skin, leaving a bright rainbow circling my arm that seemed like it was part of me. It would be difficult to remove. “Now repeat after me.”
Khellen looked nervous but spoke in a firm voice, repeating everything the priest said. “I, Khellen John Lynch, swear by this band that I choose you, Sophie Enya McCallistair above all others, to be my wife. I offer this ring as a token of our love and faithfulness and with it I join my life to yours. As this ring has no end, neither shall my love for you.”
I slid Khellen’s band onto his arm, and when I glanced up, he was looking at me with an unreadable expression. I repeated the words after the priest. He said we could seal our vows with a kiss.
I nervously waited as Khellen leaned in to press his lips to mine. It started out chaste and then he put his arms around me and kissed me until I couldn’t remember my name, which was just as well because I was about to change it.
When he pulled away, my legs were rubbery, and my mind was blank. His eyes looked intense, and if we had been alone, I would have worried about my vow to remain barren. Just because I was on another planet didn’t mean I wanted to get pregnant.
I told myself I was not going to have sex with Khellen. Khellen’s mother approached, gave us each a peck on the cheek, and offered congratulations, as did the priest. I smiled and nodded. I don’t remember saying anything. Soon Khellen took my hand and led me out of the temple as if he knew my head was in a muddle.
As we walked outside, he released me in case anyone was watching us. To my surprise, my hand felt cold and empty without his. We followed a few feet behind his mother. He leaned towards me and whispered. “The priest doesn’t do the certificates; we have to go to the government office where Mom works. She’ll complete the certification process for us.”
“Certificates?” I hissed. “They’ll be embedded in our forearms, where everyone can see them. And what about these bands? They are obvious, too. Our marriage is supposed to be a secret, Khellen.”
“We took care of t
hat. We brought cream that will conceal imprints in the skin. It will cover both the certificate and the bands.”
“Are you sure?” I was starting to panic. For a brief moment, I had entertained the idea that I might make a new life for myself with Khellen. Now that he had proved the dream was gone, my work was all I had left. I wasn’t going to lose that for him.
“I’m sure, Mrs. Lynch,” he said, that last part under his breath. I felt a sizzling thrill as I realized that I was his wife now, whether he loved me or not. Even though I considered myself to be a modern woman, I liked having his name now. I was his, and by extension, he was mine. Morda couldn’t have him now. No one else could.
If only I had the love that was supposed to go along with this arrangement. I sighed slowly, attracting his attention. His mother had pulled ahead and was practically running as if she were nervous.
“Why the sigh, Mrs. Lynch?”
“You don’t have to call me that. Don’t pretend this is something it’s not.”
My words deflated him slightly. I regretted my response for an instant until I remembered that he didn’t love me. “What if I like calling you by that name?” he asked.
“Don’t call me that even if you like to. It’s supposed to be a secret. Let’s keep it.” I tried to remind him gently. “I’m doing you a favor, but I don’t want it to ruin my life.”
The happiness I saw in his eyes before was gone, and I wondered why I was picking a fight. Did I want to hurt him as much as he had hurt me? “I won’t let marrying me ruin your life,” he said, and his eyes became emotionless. “I promise.”
“Good,” I said. He held the door open for me, and I walked into the government building. “I’ll hold you to that.”
It was close to the end of the workday. The wedding was timed this way to avoid unnecessary complications. She was already sitting at her desk when we went in, with only an imprinting machine and a bottle of white liquid on her otherwise clean desk.
“Let’s get right to it. The marriage certificate imprint, as you know, is the same as a birth certificate. It can’t come off without using a laser.” She was consummate in her role as civil servant. “Please swab your mouths to provide a DNA sample and bare your left forearms for the imprint.”
