by Eve R. Hart
Monty was still hanging up in the middle of the container. I’d worked him over pretty good, but I wouldn’t end him. Iron told me to leave that for Sketch. The brother deserved it. Brand and Cable would probably come get theirs soon enough. If they killed him, it wasn’t on me. I wouldn’t blame them, but I wasn’t going to be the one to take the opportunity away from Sketch.
But this Jugovac fucker, he was all mine.
I couldn’t forget that look on Cami’s face.
The one that she couldn’t hide.
The look deep in her eyes that said she was a little broken now.
And that was what I had in the forefront of my mind as I moved in.
I knew she’d been in this same room. That she’d had to sit in here next to a dead body, probably terrified out of her mind. And her eyes had been opened. Yeah, I had no doubts that she had seen and figured out shit she didn’t need to know about. She didn’t look the same and I hated it. I was sure Brand hated it more. I wouldn’t even blame him if he was rethinking this whole club thing after seeing that look in her eyes.
The rage boiled in my veins as I moved in toward the man tied to the chair.
I didn’t speak.
I wouldn’t.
I’d let my fists do the talking for me.
I glanced down at them, my knuckles torn open from the pounding I’d already dealt out. He was looking a little bloody himself. That only caused a faint smile to cross my lips.
His screams filled the box as I beat the fuck out of him. I barely heard the chains that held Monty rattle over the loud sound. It sounded as if Monty was struggling like he was trying his damnedest to get free, but that fucker wasn’t going anywhere.
Monty was scared.
Good, he needed to be.
My mind went blank as I beat Keften’s brother.
Blood splattered on my cheek, but it was like I didn’t even notice it.
Bones crunched. Eventually the screaming stopped. And when I finally took a step back, there was nothing but a bloody mess where his face used to be. Every single bone was broken in his face and one of his eyes drooped down like it wanted nothing more than to give up and plop onto the ground.
There was no life there in that chair.
And I couldn’t tell you how long he’d been gone.
“Let me go,” Monty said as I wiped my hands off on a rag I’d pulled from my back pocket.
My hands were on fire and I was sure I wouldn’t be laying down any ink for the next few days. A sacrifice I was fucking happy to make.
My laugh, evil and sadistic, rang out in the small, metal box.
I wanted to kill him before. When we found out he’d stolen from us, I wanted to see him dead. But Iron had let him go. I couldn’t blame Prez and I knew he’d done it to save Sketch. But look where it got us. He had his second chance at life and look at what he did with it.
“Not a chance,” I said as I walked out of the box and closed the door.
Yeah, I left him locked up in there with a dead body. My payback for Cami. The darkness would play tricks on his mind and I was sure with the heat, the smell would get to him soon enough.
I might not have been able to kill him, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t fuck with him to the point he wished he was dead.
And I didn’t feel one single bit bad about it as I rode away.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Sketch
Laying here in my bed, I couldn’t sleep. Melissa was here with me and it only brought me a bit of comfort. The truth was, too much shit had happened. I hadn’t let myself feel while that shit had been going on because I’d needed to be strong to get through it. But now, it was crashing down and taking over my thoughts.
My life was crumbling all around me, nearly making me feel like I was trapped under a pile of rubble with no hope of ever getting out.
I’d been dealing with a shit hand all my life, seein’ things I shouldn’t be seein’.
But today…
Today had been fucking rough. Maybe the roughest yet that I’d been through. And y’all know that was sayin’ something.
Vass up on that roof kept flashing through my mind.
Little Beau all helpless and shit in her arms.
And I was no better off, since what the fuck was I gonna do? Catch him and pray that he didn’t snap his neck from the impact?
Hell, what if we missed and he made a landing like Vass had?
Fuck!
The thought had me swallowing the bile that was forcing itself up my throat.
It had been too close.
Too fuckin’ close.
One stupid move and the whole club had been changed.
My stupid move.
If I hadn’t left Cami, this shit wouldn’t have happened.
This shit was all my fault and there was no way around it. I never let my guard down and I sure as fuck picked the wrong moment to do it. I knew better. I did. But there was no changing the shit I’d brought on the club. No changing the fact that Cami was a little broken now. That Claire had done something she’d never be able to really live with. How did I help them get through it when the whole thing was my fault?
How could my brothers ever trust me again?
This was strike… what?
Two, I guess.
I figured I’d probably earned more than that but the way Iron probably saw it, there was only a couple. And if I hadn’t fucked up the first time with Monty, then this might not have even come about.
I should have killed him back then. Or at least let someone else do it. He’d fucked with us and I’d wished for his freedom. Iron had been the one to grant it, but we all know the reason he’d done it was because of me.
How could I face them again after this?
I know what everyone’s thinking. Y’all waiting for me to slip out of this bed and run, right?
But don’t you bitches know me by now?
I don’t run and this wouldn’t be any fuckin’ different.
I didn’t think I deserved to be here any longer, but I’d let them tell me that. I’d give them their chance to take their pound of bones or whatever the fuck it was. And then I’d leave with my head held up. It might kill me— fuck that, they might kill me. But I wasn’t no damn coward. If it came to that, at least I’d go out knowing that the rest of them would keep on keepin’.
Claire would have her happy, wonderful life. This day would fade to the background and she’d hold onto the love all around her. She’d hold that little baby and watch him grow up to be amazing, and she’d be grateful that he had the chance to do that.
Cami would be surrounded by strong women that would show her that what she’d seen wasn’t really all that bad. That the club wasn’t as dirty and scary as I was sure she thought now. I knew it was one thing to have an idea about something and a completely different thing to see all that shit in the light. But she could handle it. She’d soon see that every single person here would stop at nothing to protect the other. And in the end, that would become the only thing that mattered.
“I feel your sadness,” Melissa whispered, and that was the thing that broke me.
The tears fuckin’ welled up hard in my eyes and spilled over like a damn river.
This life was over and I just knew it.
I wasn’t sad about owning up and accepting what I deserved, since I had a feeling this life wasn’t really real anyway. I’d been waiting for this moment, after all.
But the fact that I’d have to walk away from people that I had truly started to care about got to me. The fact that I’d let them all down got to me. The fuckin’ fact that I’d broken the club, yeah, that really got to me.
Melissa shifted until she cradled my head against her chest. Her fingers worked lightly over my scalp and hearing her beating heart in my ear did something soothing to me. The tears didn’t stop but I felt safe releasing them.
“I was sitting down there in the kitchen yesterday thinking how I couldn’t handle situations like this,”
she said and I just listened. I liked that she wasn’t pushing me to talk, but a part of me thought that I needed to. Her words hit me in the gut. And the only way I could explain what shot through me was like this paralyzing panic. “I wanted to leave. I even tried to convince myself that I could walk away from you.”
“Damn, that sucks,” I said softly.
Her chest vibrated with a short, silent laugh.
“Yeah, but then you know what happened?”
“What?” I asked.
“I took a long look at the people in that kitchen. I listened to them. I saw how they were all there being strong for one another. And I realized that not only couldn’t I give you up, but that I wanted to be that for you. I wanted to be here waiting for you to come back. I wanted to look after everyone around me. I wanted to belong to it because I wanted to hold onto that feeling forever.”
“It can’t be easy,” I told her. “I would be a selfish fuck to ever ask someone to go through what they went through today. What you fuckin’ went through.”
“But is it selfish if you love someone?”
My head tilted until I met her eyes.
“Isn’t it just part of loving them?” she asked me. “Is it selfish if they want to do it because they don’t want to live without you? Because they don’t think they’d be able to walk away knowing they wouldn’t have that person there waiting for them— being strong for them when they couldn’t be?”
“I’d do anything for you,” I admitted. “But is that enough? You can’t love me. You can’t because I ain’t someone that gets that. I don’t even know that I can love back. Baby, I’m just happy to be alive and you deserve someone that wants way more out of life than that.”
“No, what I deserve is someone that loves me back, no matter what.”
The world did this weird shift-thing all around me.
Her words hit home and I was smacked upside the head by an invisible force.
See, Melissa and I weren’t all that different.
And I hadn’t realized that shit until now.
Believe it or not, that was the thing I’d been searching for this whole time. The thing that— if I wished on stars— I’d have wished for. And here was this amazing woman offering it up.
Offering it to me.
No strings.
No trying to change who I was.
No asking for anything in return.
She was handing it to me for free.
“So, what you’re saying is…” I flashed her a cocky smile as I turned it up to about a hundred. “You can’t resist me. You fuckin’ want me, yeah?”
She laughed, but it was soft. I was sure my busted up face put a little damper on my charm.
“You are ridiculous,” she said.
“Yeah, but you like it.”
“I do.”
“You’re waiting for me to wake the fuck up and tell you shit now, right, baby?”
“You tell me what you want to tell me when you’re ready. All I’m saying right now is that I’ll be there waiting when that time comes.”
“And if I told you that I love the shit outta you?”
I knew we were dancing around really saying it. I had that joking tone going on because I was so scared to let the words come out with meaning. If I set them free and this all turned out to be a giant pile of shit I’d been standing in, then I might not ever be able to take another step again.
“Then I’d say that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.” There was laughter in her tone but it was the good kind.
“Well,” I said with a look that said I was waiting.
“Well what?” she asked and her tone told me she damn well knew what was going on in my head.
“You gonna tell me something?”
“Oh… like what?” She paused but I saw her lips twitching. “Like that I love you?”
“Yeah, that. It’s not like you didn’t all but say it just now. Might as well tell me and get it over with. Hope you know, though, that once you love Sketch, there’s no going back.”
“God, I hope not, because I don’t think I’d ever get over you.”
“Fuck no, you wouldn’t,” I told her as I moved in for a kiss. My body wasn’t too happy about it but I didn’t give a fuck. Had a feeling I’d be sore for days but I wasn’t about to not kiss my woman.
Her cute little giggle didn’t trail off until I showed her just how good she had it.
But I really loved it.
She’d managed to take some of my sadness away. I wasn’t saying that I wanted to lose my club, but if I did, maybe at least I’d still have her.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Sketch
The moment Monty saw it was me walking into the container, he started laughing.
It died quickly as a coughing fit took over.
He looked rough. No doubt my brothers had taken their turns with him, likely keeping him alive just for me, but not letting shit go. He was alive, that was true, but he looked like he was just barely holding on.
That was fine. Couldn’t even be mad because they deserved to get theirs. Especially Brand and Cable. Hell, I was surprised they did leave him breathing for me.
“Where is Vass?” he asked, and then spit out a mouth full of blood.
“Dead,” I said flatly. I was surprised no one had told him that.
“That’s fucked.”
“Nah.” My head shook like I was disappointed. “What’s fucked is what you did to her. Got her so high outta her mind she tried to kill my nephew. Claire’s fuckin’ kid, you asshole.”
“I wanted to give her everything. I loved her.”
“Love? You think that was love? You don’t take advantage of the people you love. You don’t hurt them and you sure as fuck don’t drag them down.”
He laughed and tried to stand up straight, but his body was too weak. He hung there, arms above his head, held up by the same chains he’d had me in days before.
The same chains I’d once had him in…
This time, he wasn’t walking out of here.
“What would you know about love?” His words were low and full of anger. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. Thought I was fucked. Like never gonna get it, you know, because I ain’t ever had that kinda shit before. But what I’ve recently learned is that I do know what love is. I got it for my brothers. Got it for my woman. Got it for the family that is there lookin’ out for me with no strings attached. They do it just for the simple fact that they care about me.”
He looked up at me and the look in his eyes had me feeling a shot of pity.
Monty and I were so alike.
But the thing was, I’d never do the shit he did. I’d never go out of my way to hurt someone I cared about. I’d never watch someone I loved struggle and then kick them while they were down.
“You must be so proud of yourself.” His words were full of bite and bitterness.
“Yeah, I am. When I felt like I was gonna snap, I found another way. Started with asking the old man that ran the pizza place if I could help out. Didn’t care how he paid me as long as it got us somewhere for the night. I scrubbed the damn toilets and cleaned shit that no one wanted to touch. Every little opportunity that came my way, I grabbed ahold of it. Learning how to ink at sixteen because when some guy saw me sketchin’ one day, he sat down and had a conversation with me. And when he told me he had a tat shop, I told him I wanted to learn. Maybe I got lucky and stumbled on some people that said fuck the rules and took me in enough to make me feel like I was doing it on my own, but that don’t matter. I did it. I wanted to make it better.”
“And your club is so great…” His tone was dripping with jealousy but I’d had enough. “Lucky you got in with them.”
“They are,” I told him with a firm nod. “But luck didn’t have a part in that. I worked my ass off to earn my spot. To prove that I was good enough, loyal enough. Worth having around. And you know what, I am!
I fucking am.”
“Good for you,” he replied dryly and if his eyes weren’t so swollen, I imagined he’d be rolling them. “Glad it was worth it. I’m real happy leaving us behind was worth this fuckin’ life you’ve got going on.”
“You know…” I started and took a step forward. “Used to feel bad about that. Guilt got me a fuck of a lot. But now I realize, thanks to my amazing woman, that I deserve to be taken care of too. For years I put myself last. I did what I had to do to keep everyone as safe as possible. Years! Any chance y’all got, you took off for somethin’ you thought was better. You just wanna be mad at me because I found something better. I feel bad, sure. But guilt… nah, I can’t let that shit get me down anymore.”
I guessed he was all talked out because he didn’t say anything else. This was the end of the line for him. We both knew it, no point in dragging it out anymore.
“I’m gonna walk outta here and be fine,” I told him calmly. “I’m gonna sleep like a baby knowin’ there’s one less piece of shit walkin’ around out there.”
I pulled my blade out and gripped the handle tight. Wouldn’t have doubted that my knuckles were turning white.
“Anything’s gotta be better than what I got.”
I let him have the last word, knowing damn well that’s what it was.
With my free hand, I gripped the top of his head. Then, like I was slicing through butter, I slit his throat.
Couldn’t tell you the shit going on in my head as the blood spilled from his body and I watched the light fade from his eyes.
Couldn’t tell you what I did right after.
Couldn’t tell you much of anything, really.
And while I should have made it quick, this was the way it had to be. Yeah, could have popped him in the head and walked away. But it didn’t seem right, not for this. I had to take it away and watch until I knew it was over.
Call me fucked up, so what? Not like I haven’t already told you that I was. And if you look at the shit around me, this was quick. I didn’t torture him any more than he’d already been. I could have dragged this shit out for hours before I got bored or hungry.
