by Various
The only reason Avery focused even an ounce of attention to it was to keep off the subject at hand. The silence started to get to her. Someone had to say something soon. The tension needed to be broken. “So, um, hope y’all enjoy the food.” Lame attempt for small talk, but someone had to break the ice.
“You can’t go wrong with burgers and fries.” Lucas grinned, and bit into his cheeseburger.
“It’s been a long time since I had a hamburger. My wife is more of a gourmet cook. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s nice to have old fashioned grease every so often.” Rodney smiled at Avery.
“I actually don’t eat it all the time either,” Avery admitted.
“Well, I’m sure glad you suggested this tonight.” Rodney bit into a fry.
“I am, too.” Millions of thoughts swirled around in Avery’s mind. A nagging sensation in the pit of her stomach grew, spreading like wildfire. As happy and excited as she was about meeting Rodney, hurt bubbled inside her over the lack of interest from her birth mother. Why should Avery care, though, if the woman didn’t? How do you carry a child for nine months and not give a crap about them, yet the kindness of two strangers gave her all the love in the world? It didn’t make sense, and Avery hated to admit that it hurt.
“Hey, Lucas, if you don’t mind, can you scoot out? I need to run to the ladies room.” If it broke the tension for awhile for her, that would be a good thing. Lucas moved in an effort to let Avery out, and she hurried towards the back.
*****
What an interesting but intense night. Lucas felt out of place watching Avery and this man who could be her father. Why had he invited himself along? Why did every bone in his body also yearn for her when he knew he couldn’t have her? Yet he’d thrown caution to the wind and sent her an invitation to his room earlier, and actually thought she would act on it? Yeah, she went in for his kiss the other night, but what the hell would make him think she’d go for some casual sex with a guy she barely knew? Avery didn’t appear to be that kind of girl, let alone that she’d just broken up with someone and was obviously still torn about her feelings.
For once in his life, his feelings toward Avery were more than sexual. He’d actually found a connection with her on a deeper level.
That scared the hell out of him.
Lucas felt like an ass.
Now, as Avery disappeared, he focused his attention on Rodney.
“For someone that doesn’t know her well, you sure stick to Avery like glue.” Rodney’s glare hardened, matching Lucas’s feelings.
“Yeah, well there’s something about her I can’t resist,” Lucas said easily. That was true, but there was so much more to it and Rodney wasn’t the one he could share that with. He didn’t trust this man yet.
“You look like a player. Don’t hurt this woman.”
Wow, did Rodney ever sound like a father.
Or a world class jerk. What right did he have to sweep into her life like this and then pounce on Lucas like he was doing something wrong?
And he didn’t even know for sure Avery was his daughter. Lucas had to admit, there were many, many visual clues to their similar appearance.
“Me? I don’t think I’m the one Avery has to worry about. You came here to turn her world around, and she’s in distress over it.”
“All I came here to do was to get to know a woman that is my own flesh and blood!” Rodney slapped his hand on the table, eyes shooting invisible daggers at Lucas.
“Take it easy. I’m not your enemy.”
“So what are you? Obviously an out-of-towner. You’re staying at the inn. What’s your purpose here? You fixating on Avery for something? Targeting her?”
“Now wait a minute. Don’t go around throwing accusations at me. I’m here for work. Avery works for the inn, along with her adoptive parents. We struck up a friendship, and okay, yes, we’re both attracted to one another. Okay? I’m not some stalker, and I’m not here to hurt anybody.” Lucas held his hands up, releasing his frustration. Geez. This guy was in town for less than a day and already acting like Avery was someone he’d known for so long that he could start questioning Lucas regarding his intentions? What the hell kind of crap was that?
Give the guy a break. He’s making up for lost time.
Lucas tried again, this time with a kinder approach. “Look, we need to stop having such a heated argument. We’re both strangers to her, and in a short time have grown to care for her very much. You don’t want her hurt, and neither do I. But don’t start questioning my integrity or feelings when I frankly don’t know what I feel, or what I want to do with what I do feel.” This job only got worse as time went on. Lucas should have done something long ago, instead of being dragged into another mess. This time, he cared too much. Stupid heart, stupid feelings, and stupid, stupid penis.
Yeah, the big guy down there sure had a way of taking over what Lucas had a purpose for.
Fucker.
“I don’t think I trust you,” Rodney responded, his stare hard and cold.
“The feeling is mutual,” Lucas replied. “But it’s really not up to us what happens. It’s all on Avery.”
Speaking of which, she’d returned, moving gracefully through the tables. Lucas smiled at her, hoping to erase all signs of what he’d just been feeling. If this Rodney was her father, then Lucas would have to deal with it, do what he came here to do, and be gone. He just needed to stop letting Avery’s sweet face get in the way, and turn him into an idiot that wanted to take her to bed. And stay there.
“Is everything okay?” Avery glanced from Rodney to Lucas. Shit. So much for keeping it to himself. She sensed something wrong.
“Sure is,” Lucas said at the same time Rodney responded with “Of course.”
Lucas scooted out of the booth once again to let Avery slide in. Maybe he should finish up his dinner and bow out, before he did something stupid like touch Avery again, or get into another not so good conversation with Rodney. It wasn’t fair for him to intrude. And that’s just what he’d been doing. He just needed to be sure things were going good. Lucas sighed. “I’m going to have to go soon. I’ve got a few things to work on tonight.” He was torn. Stay, or go?
Avery looked over at him with questioning eyes, but the look flickered away in just a blink. “Okay. Well, I appreciate you joining us tonight.” She sounded like she really meant it. So maybe he hadn’t screwed things up after all. Time would tell.
“Yes, Lucas, thank you for escorting Avery tonight,” Rodney smirked. He would be glad to get rid of Lucas, that much was for sure. Lucas just hoped that things would go better for Avery after he left. He was hesitant to go, but it would be the best option.
“Okay, well ... have a good rest of the evening.” Lucas left two ten dollar bills on the table. “Tell the waitress to keep the change.”
Get out of there, now.
Without a last look, Lucas left. What a track record he’d had with Avery so far. He’d bolted more than once.
But it wasn’t about her. Lucas needed to clear his mind, keep the sexual, and even nonsexual thoughts about Avery away. Once he was outside, he checked his phone. Several text messages awaited him, inquiring about new events. Lucas sighed. Someone was going to get hurt in this mess if he didn’t find a graceful way out.
Chapter Eight
“I had a nice time talking with you tonight, Avery.” Rodney hugged her one last time as they stood in front of his door an hour after Lucas left. Avery couldn’t put a finger on it, but she gathered from the strange tension after she’d gone to the bathroom that Lucas and Rodney didn’t care for each other. Not like it mattered. She wasn’t dating Lucas, and she didn’t care about his feelings toward Rodney. She had no idea why Lucas insisted on bringing himself along. It had been a little relieving at first. It turned out to be awkward regardless, but it was nice to have another person along in case things went downhill. She’d have to remember to question Lucas about his odd mood later. Or maybe, she’d just let it go. Why should she care
a lick at all about him, or his actions? She barely knew him. Just another passing stranger in town and then he’d be gone.
She wanted to know more. Wanted to understand the look in his eyes, find out more about what made him tick, made him smile. Just something! And then, maybe more of those hot, delicious kisses.
There had been a connection between the two of them from the start. More than physically. Avery didn’t understand it.
It didn’t change the fact that it was there.
This wasn’t the time to think about Lucas. There went her mind again. She straightened and focused her energy on Rodney. “It was great. Thank you for coming down here. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow for the, uh, test?”
Rodney nodded. “Yeah. I guess you will.”
“It’ll all turn out.” It just has to.
Who was she trying to convince more? Herself or Rodney?
“And then, have a talk with your parents. I don’t want to come between you all. I’d love to meet them on a personal level, and thank them. It made me feel instantly better that you grew up so loved and taken care of. Had I known-” His voice trailed off.
“You’re here now,” Avery said softly. That was what mattered. He found her and took action to meet her.
Rodney frowned and nodded. “I know. I just- I have some feelings to sort through, do some forgiving, but it’s just hard. I didn’t get to hold you as a baby, see your milestones, and that hurts.”
Avery blinked back tears as she stared down at the floral pattern of the worn out carpeting. The colors blended together and twirled like a kaleidescope. She blinked the tears away.
“Oh, here I go, getting you all upset. I apologize. I’m going to go and get some rest now. Thank you again for meeting with me. Your reception of my being here turned out better than I expected.” With one more hug, Rodney closed himself in his room. Avery stood, facing the closed door for another minute before turning away.
She didn’t get far when someone opened a door behind her. Wondering if Rodney had something else to say, Avery stopped in her tracks. It wasn’t Rodney she saw when she turned. Lucas stood outside his door, watching her with those wide eyes. Locks of wet, dark hair fell over his forehead.
He looked so good.
He also seemed exhausted and deep in thought.
“I heard voices.” Lucas shuffled out of his room.
“Just us,” Avery said wearily. She wasn’t ready to deal with his strange high and low attitude. “Good night, Lucas. I hope you got done what you needed to.”
Time to go home and sleep. As far as emotional days went, this one held the top spot on the list.
“Avery.”
The way he said her name, so easily, his voice low, sent her into the willies. How did he manage to do that?
I don’t want him to affect me like this!
She faced him again. “What is it, Lucas? I’m tired and ready to go to bed.”
And not with you.
Liar!
She wanted nothing more than to know how he felt while-
No! Don’t go there.
“I want to feel again,” Lucas whispered, taking the last few steps that bridged the distance between them. “You make me feel something, and I need to feel again.” His long arms encircled her waist.
Avery melted into him.
What did he mean by that? “Luc-” His mouth crashed against hers, prodding her lips apart with his tongue. All of her good senses washed away as Avery returned his kiss. He had a way of freezing her mind with his kisses. Just like right now. Until a light flickered and startled her. Then she had to gather her strength to stop. “I can’t keep kissing you like this in the middle of the inn, Lucas.”
She tried to smile, lighten up the mood.
“Please join me for awhile.” Lucas gestured to his room. “I’m not asking you for sex. I just really need some company right now, and I enjoy yours.”
Well, that was a first. Wow. Avery glanced up and met his gaze. There was an unreadable expression that Avery guessed was a mix of sadness and anguish. But why?
Maybe she’d get more information if she went with him. Something haunted him, bothered him and he didn’t look like he wanted to be alone.
“Okay. Let’s go.”
Lucas grabbed her hand and led her to his room. When she closed the door behind her, she expected Lucas to continue what they started in the hall. He stared at her, cupped her face, his thumb circling her cheekbone, but didn’t move closer for another kiss.
“Is something wrong, Lucas?”
He sighed. “Yes. It’s work related. I can’t really talk about it.”
Whatever it was, it weighed heavily on his mind.
“I understand. I won’t ask for details, then. But the look in your eyes right now-”
He put a finger to her lips. “You have this way about you, that has me feeling more than I’ve felt in a long time, Avery.”
“You said that before. Why don’t you feel, Lucas? What do you mean?”
“I’ve shut off my emotions for so long.”
He wasn’t making sense. Had he been drinking? Maybe coming in here wasn’t such a good idea after all. His strange behavior sent warning vibes to her gut. She’d back away, but her backside was already up against the wall. “Lucas, you’re scaring me.”
She put a hand on his shoulder and shook him firmly. It wasn’t that she feared him, his actions. Something told her Lucas wouldn’t hurt her.
What scared her was the way he guarded himself, and he was about to break.
He blinked. “Damn. Sorry. That’s not my intention. I know you think I’m a little crazy right now-”
“Right now? You’ve been teetering on the edge since I met you,” Avery teased. His lips turned up slightly, but his eyes didn’t match the halfhearted smile.
“Yeah, you may have a point.” Lucas lowered his voice. “You want to sit down? I promise, I might start making sense.” He gestured toward the table and two chairs on the far side of the room, facing the window.
“Sure. I don’t think I’ll stay too long. I’m getting tired, but I’ll keep you company for awhile.” Lucas followed her to the table. He pulled out a chair for her, and after she settled in it, slid into the one across from her.
“Thank you. I don’t get company much. I’m always on the go. On the road. It gets really lonely after awhile. And I’ll admit, watching you connect with Rodney tonight makes me wish I had even one set of parents that ever gave a shit.” His voice dripped ice.
Avery’s head snapped up. “You didn’t have a good childhood growing up?”
He shook his head sadly. “No. My parents were, well, difficult, to say the least. They didn’t know I was there half the time.”
“That’s terrible!” That was so hard to imagine. Avery’s parents weren’t always up in her face, and lately, they hardly saw one another with such short staffing at the inn half the time, but they’d always inquired about her day, made sure that she had everything she needed and even tried to get her what she wanted as well.
“It sucked, but I know some people had it worse than I did.”
“Where are they now? Do you not talk to them at all?”
Lucas looked up, with empty eyes. “They’re dead. Drugs and alcohol.”
Avery gasped. “Oh, Lucas-”
Avery regretted the times she’d felt like what she had wasn’t enough. She’d been a baby when left at the inn. She had no memory of her birth parents. Lucas grew up with his parents. That kind of abandonment had to have been a thousand times more painful than hers.
At least she’d had a place to go.
When someone’s situation turned out like that, it gave Avery a new perspective.
He lifted a hand. “Please, don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t want any pity. I just- I guess I just need a really good talk tonight. It hasn’t hit me this hard in forever. I think, after their deaths, is when I stopped letting myself feel. Other than anger, and hurt, and rage, which put me in a worl
d of trouble.”
“How old were you when it happened?”
“I’d just turned fifteen. I was taken to some foster homes, but frankly, no one wanted to deal with a teenage boy. Everyone judged me without knowing me. Especially when they all believed I was like my parents. They didn’t trust me, ended up trying to get me in trouble so that I could be taken away. I finally just ran away and avoided the system all together. And then, like a dumb ass, I did start ending up in trouble.” Lucas searched her face, his lips pursed into a set, thin line. The look in his eyes- such hurt tore Avery apart. All of a sudden she just wanted to console this man, even though it’s not what he wanted. But her heart ached for him.
Fifteen. Not old enough to be on his own. What kind of parents kept their child and couldn’t stay clean for them?
“I started stealing to survive. I thought, ‘Why did the rich need shit when they didn’t care about others?’ One night, I got into the wrong house, baited by others that I ran with on the streets. I was caught. I thought that was the end, that my ass would be rotting in jail, but the home owner took me under their wing, and helped me change my life.
“It wasn’t until I was older, probably about nineteen, that they started wanting favors from me. I started cleaning up after their messes. One night, an old friend of mine tried to break in. He was shot in the process. The people I stayed with took him in and promised not to call the cops because he was just sixteen at the time. When he started out with me, yeah, he was only thirteen. The damage from the bullet affected him, and he’s now in a great facility. It’s all paid for by these people that helped me. In return, I cleaned up their messes. I’m the one that keeps them out of trouble, which ends up making me the bad guy.”
“He’s the only friend I’ve truly got, and I let it all get swept up under the rug. I haven’t even visited him after that, and it’s been twelve years. I keep thinking he’s better off that way, but can you imagine? I don’t know who visits him, and I’m kind of afraid to. I’ve got no family. I’m on the go all the time dealing with things I’d rather not, and tonight, I start to feel. Of all times. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.” Lucas slapped his hand on the table and inhaled, a sharp, shaky breath. “Then there’s you. Your every move drives me wild, and I don’t understand it, and sure as hell can’t act on it.”
