by Various
In the morning I wake to pounding on my front door. Stumbling into the living room, barely wrapping myself in my robe, I open the door. Ryan is standing on my doorstep, two Starbuck coffees in hand.
"Morning!" he says sternly and breezes in.
"Come on in," I say, sarcastically, and close the door behind him.
I follow him into the living room, trying to wake up. God, did I not tell him I needed space?
"Here, I know you’re not a morning person, but nothing helps like a Grande Latte Special." He hands me a cup and settles on the couch.
Okay. I guess he’s staying. I wait, staring at him.
"You look stunning this morning." Ryan smiles at me.
Oh God. I must look like crap. I showered and went straight to bed and tossed and turned all night. Is he teasing me? He wouldn't dare.
"Young, you really should check yourself out. Your hair is awesome."
Crap. He’s teasing me.
I turn on my heel and march down the hall. I don't want to know what I look like. I go back into my bed and curl up under the covers.
Soon enough, I hear his footsteps in the hall and the door opening.
"Nora. Please don't shut me out right now." His voice is completely different than moments before. It's raw and scared.
I sit up and notice that he’s wearing the same thing he wore last night. "Why are you still in your clothes? Did you go out last night?"
"No. I did not go out last night. I slept in the car," he says, quietly.
"Why did you sleep in your car?" I ask, baffled.
"Jesus, Nora. You scared the crap out of me last night. I couldn't leave you here alone. I figured you'd kick me out if you found me on the couch, so I slept in the car."
He sips his coffee, his face impassive.
"You what? Are you crazy?" I get out of bed again and stare at him. None of this is making any sense.
"You’re pissed because I slept in my car to make sure your crazy ex doesn't come in and attack you?" he asks, incredulously.
"Okay, wow. First of all, I was safe in my house. Second, Darren has only approached me on the street. He has a key to this place, for Pete’s sake. If he wants in, all he has to do is open the front door!" I yell at him.
It's too early to be yelling. It's too early to be this upset. I take a few breaths and try a sip of my coffee. Oh, it’s good.
"Did you just say that Darren has a key to this place? Nora, what the fuck? How can you say that you’re safe here?" Ryan starts pacing. This room is too small for both of us to pace. I push my way past him and head to the bathroom.
Why am I so angry with him? Oh shit! Ryan is right, my hair is a nightmare. I run the sink water. There’s nothing left to do but rewet it and try again. I feel Ryan behind me, seething.
He starts talking, but my head is under the water.
"Hold on. I can't hear you," I yell from under the faucet.
When I think my hair is wet enough, I stop the water and wring it out. Ryan hands me a towel.
"Thanks." Even in a fight, he’s polite. That’s a new one for me.
"Nora. You can't tell me that Darren tried to attack you, tell me that he has a key to your place, then tell me I shouldn't worry about you."
"Okay, fine. I didn't think it through. I just think sleeping in the parking lot is a little extreme. That's all." I flip the towel over my head and march back to the bedroom, looking for something to wear other than a robe.
Pulling on a pair of sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt, I have a thought. But first, I have to deal with my hair. Marching back to the bathroom, I pull out my hairbrush and get to work.
Wet, my hair is easy to deal with. In dry climates it’s soft and silky, but when it gets humid or if I go to bed with it wet, it often looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket.
Setting down my brush, I turn to Ryan.
"This isn't about Darren, is it?"
I watch for his reaction. He stays impassive and continues to drink his latte.
"Part of it is," he says, his voice back to a clipped tone.
"And the other part?" I wait.
As if we both notice that we’re standing in my bathroom at the same time, we head back to the living room.
"Ryan, I just don't think—" I start, but he spins around and holds up his hands, cutting me off.
"Nora, please. Wait. Just hear me out. Please." Now his voice is pleading and urgent.
I wait.
"I'm sorry," he says, quietly.
"Sorry about what?"
"I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about my job. I'm sorry about Darren. I'm sorry I didn't take your call last week. I'm sorry about last night." He’s close to me; I feel his breath on my face. But he hasn't touched me.
"Ryan. Darren is not your fault. Now last night, yeah, that was. I don't ever want to do that again." I rush the words out.
"Never again," he says, looking like a boy scout.
"Wow, that was fast." I laugh. "Thought you were into all that?"
"Jesus, Nora. I thought you were, too. But that doesn't mean I want to go back there if you don't. The point is not the bookstore. The point is you." Now he sounds angry.
Oh. The point is me?
"You didn't think that was my entire agenda, did you?" he asks as if he’s in agony.
"No," I say, slowly. "But I thought after what Hannah said and after The Phoenix, that was what you liked."
He takes a step back and starts pacing the room. "Don't listen to fucking Hannah. She’s a nutcase. I mean it, she is fucking nuts. And yes, I like to go out and show you off. But that's not a deal breaker."
A deal breaker. What’s he saying? "Are we breaking up?" I ask, before I can even formulate the question.
Ryan stops pacing and looks at me. "Aren't we? Isn't that what happened last night?"
I deflate completely. Sinking into the couch, I breathe out. "Jesus. Couldn't we just have a fight?"
My stomach is in knots, coffee and fear swirling together. I might puke.
"Are we breaking up because I didn't like the bookstore?" I ask.
Suddenly, Ryan is at my side. "Look. I don't want to break up. I don't care about the bookstore. Don't get me wrong; it was off the charts fucking incredible until that guy freaked out on us. And you in The Phoenix, that was unbelievable. But if you're not into that, I'm not. None of it. Please, Nora. You took my breath away when we met. Everything changed for me. You have no idea how much."
"I have no idea, because you don't talk to me! You only see me on the weekends, and you don't even take my calls during the week. If any of that bullshit was true, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now." I’m shaking with fury. How dare he try that crap with me! I am not 12 fucking years old.
"Fuck!" he yells at the wall. "Fuck fuck fuck!"
"There we go. Now, why don't you tell me what the hell is going on? No bullshit this time!" I scream back at him.
"God damn it, Nora, what the hell do you want from me?" he growls while pacing.
"What do I want from you? I think I've made that pretty damn clear," I scream.
"No. You didn't." He stops and stares at me.
"Okay fine. I‘ll tell you what I don’t want. I don't want to be your weekend bone. I don't want to be shoved into some corner of your life, like a doll. You’re either here or you’re not."
We stare at each other for a beat.
"What about the rest of it?" He asks, almost defiantly.
"What rest of it?" I pause and then I get it. "Jesus. Ryan, you mean the fucking in public. Is that what this is about? You think I'm freaking over that?"
He nods his head.
"Ahhhhhh!" I yell at the top of my lungs. "Ryan. I liked The Phoenix. I liked camping, In fact, so far, there hasn't been one thing we have done—aside from last night—that I didn't like. You're projecting some scared little girl on me, and I'm not that. That was my issue with Darren. He was the fucking scared little girl, and he lost it when I wanted more out of the box. Out of the b
ox doesn't scare me. You being a prick scares me."
Ryan's eyes go wide at my last comment. "Me being a prick?"
I stifle a laugh. "Yes. You being a prick. Like getting pissy when I call you once in three days. Like right now, all uppity."
"Uppity?" He says again, this time with more humor.
"Look. Let's cut to the chase. Are you in or out?" I stare at him, my eyes are hard. He could walk out right now. He could leave and this could be over. I never thought that far ahead, I never thought it would come to this. I brace myself.
He watches me for minute, then walks closer to me, this time gently touching my shoulders. "I'm in, Young. I'm in." His mouth hovers just over my face, then he tenderly brushes his lips against mine. It's so unexpected.
I kiss him back, tentatively at first, then harder. He responds with a deep, passionate kiss. My knees buckle. His fingers move under my shirt, running along the waistline of my sweats, while his other hand cups the back of my head, pressing my mouth deeper into his.
"You have no idea, do you," he murmurs into my mouth.
"No idea about what?" I ask, slightly alarmed.
"That’s what is so amazing about you," he says, kissing me along my neck and shoulder, sending shivers down my spine.
"I'm amazing, am I?"
"You have no idea," he says again, his hand reaching my breast, gently caressing me.
I’m wide awake now, awake and wet with desire. All that anger and fear that he was about to walk out the door seems to have transformed into lust. I’m completely seduced by his hesitation and his gentleness.
He lifts my shirt over my head and stares, wide eyed, letting out a long breath.
"You just have no idea how fucking beautiful you are," he says, in awe.
I start to tense under his intense gaze and close the space between us.
"So far you’ve told me that I really don't have any idea about a lot of things. Should I be worried that I’m missing something?" I say, embarrassed at the compliments.
He encircles me with his arms and presses his pelvis into mine. I feel his large bulge in his pants. Kissing me deeply, he lifts me up and carries me back to my bed. I wrap my legs around his waist. His mouth is mashed into my throat, but that doesn't stop him from kissing me and licking the hollow of my neck.
His touch leaves a fire trail leading to the deepest part of me. I’ve got a burning desire to have him naked. As he puts me down on the bed I claw at his shirt, I need it off. He steps back and lifts his shirt over his head while toe-pushing his shoes off. He undoes his jeans and lets them fall to the ground. He’s standing over me in his underwear, his large cock straining against the cotton.
I’m so turned on right now. I want to jump him, to have him touch me everywhere. I’m impatient, but he waits, just admiring me. Slowly, he slides his briefs off, letting his cock jump from his body. Oh, my God.
He kneels down and starts kissing my legs, slowly working his way up my body. He kisses the backside of my knees, then my inner thighs. His hands explore my belly and hips, his fingers circling the space in-between. Just when I think he’s going to get serious, he veers to the left and comes up my side with more tiny kisses.
My head is foggy and my body is on fire. Where ever he touches or licks or kisses, my body sears with pleasure. His mouth comes up from my side to my breast. He kisses my breast and then slowly brings it into his mouth. I can't stand it and let a moan escape while closing my eyes, letting the sensations wash over me. I feel so cherished in this moment.
Still higher his mouth comes, up my chest, up my neck, over to my ear. Meanwhile, his hand is slowly caressing my other side. His uneven climb is a heady mixture of sensations.
"You taste so good. You feel so good," he says, next to my ear.
"Mmmmmm," is the only thing that comes out of my mouth.
I feel his fingernails gently slide over my ribs and feel his breath on my neck. I am surrounded by him, enclosed and protected.
His mouth heads over to the other side and he works his way back down my body. He pauses at my breast, spending extra time worshipping me. The sensation pulls deep in my belly, spilling the warm liquid that feels so much like honey.
He plants open mouth wet kisses down my stomach, finally pausing right at my center. His hot breath is on my sex, his fingers are opening me, sliding into me, all while he’s breathing and kissing me. Each kiss sends a wave of pleasure thrashing through my body. I am lost.
His fingers slip out and his mouth covers me, "Ahhhh," I convulse up off the bed.
"Shhh," he soothes. I’m so close to completely losing it. His tongue pushes inside of me and that pushes me into the abyss. The orgasm wracks my body, my thighs squeeze his head while his tongue, forever steady, continues its assault. After what seems like forever, he stops and sits up, once again gazing down at me admiringly.
"Jesus, Nora. You are the most amazing woman. You taste so good." Again, he sounds as if he’s in awe.
He pulls a condom out from under the pillow and slips it on, his eyes focused on the task. I watch from my vantage point. Nothing, not one creature, has ever been as sexy as he is right now.
He’s standing over me, gloriously naked. A sheen of moisture covers his skin, making it glossy and so damn sexy. His huge cock is ready, sheathed; I quiver underneath him.
He pauses, adding to my anticipation.
"How did I ever get so lucky?" he growls at me, his voice deep and husky.
"I could say the same thing about you," I tease him.
His mood is so different than the other times. Before he has been playful, erotic, even indifferent, but this, I can't put my finger on it.
Slowly, he moves to hover over me. Everything he does, he does slowly, with precise care. Just when I think I can’t take much more, he enters me. My legs spread, inviting him deeper. Still, he’s agonizingly slow. In and out, long plunges down, and longer still pulling out. I feel the tip of him teasing the folds of my entrance.
His eyes are boring into mine, blazing. He corkscrews one way, then another. I feel the familiar warm honey filling my insides, building up, threatening to drown me.
"Nora. You mean everything to me," he says, then shuts his eyes tight, picking up his pace. His words and the sudden change in pace throw my equilibrium off. Fire swarms around me, churning the blood that is pounding in my ears. I lift my pelvis just slightly and am swallowed by a sudden and violent orgasm.
As I am writhing underneath him, he stills before unleashing with a new resolve, pounding into me, taking me, possessing me, "Oh God. It's you." He screams and empties himself into me.
I squeeze him tightly, over and over again, milking him, keeping his orgasm going for as long as I can. Finally, he collapses, dropping his full weight on me. After a while, he pulls out and walks to the bathroom.
Waiting a minute to steady my breath, I follow him. He’s drinking water and hands me a cup. I look in the mirror and, to my horror, I notice that my hair is back to its frightening state again.
He grins, a spicy, ‘I know your secrets’ grin. I feel a big stupid smile split across my face. Couldn't stop it if I wanted to! He takes my hand and leads me out of the bathroom and back to the bed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ryan crawls out from deep in the closet, dragging a large duffel bag with him. I watch from the corner of my bedroom, wondering what on earth he’s doing. The afternoon sun is throwing long shadows across the bed. It’s been a perfect lazy Saturday.
He stands up and heads to my dresser, opening drawers and pulling out socks and underwear and tossing them into the bag.
"Pray tell, what are we doing?" Not sure whether to be alarmed or laugh.
"Packing," he says matter-of-factly. "You can't stay here. At least, not until we get the locks changed. Even then, it's dicey."
He goes back to my drawers.
"Okay. But I certainly don't need long johns, and you just put those in that bag. Can I help?" I'm working hard to not outright laugh a
t him. And then I remember he has no idea that I’m moving. "You know, I'm moving in a few weeks anyway."
He stops and stares at me, mouth open. "Moving?"
"Well." I pause. Come to think of it, he has no idea about any of last week’s decisions; moving, LSAT prep classes, law school, possibly quitting my job. This could be fun. "Yeah. This place is big and expensive, and I don't want to spend the extra money any more. I found some possibilities last week."
His eyes go wide and a smile plays around his lips. "Did you, now?"
"Yeah. On Thursday," I say, knowing that was the day he stopped by.
"Oh. That's where you were? Damn, I could have come with you." He seems genuine.
"Do you really want to go there?" I ask, standing akimbo, head cocked, eyebrow raised.
"No, ma'am!" he says, hands in the air.
He slowly goes back to his packing and nods his head.
I push my way into my own closet and start pulling out work clothes.
"How long am I packing for?"
"At least three or four nights," he says, urgently.
"Okay, then." I pull out my real suitcase and start moving around the room, gathering my belongings.
Ryan moves out of my way and starts to organize the reading material on the table next to my bed. I’m going through the bag he 'packed' for me, making a note never to let this man pack for me for real. He has packed my entire underwear drawer, from long underwear and wool socks to my skimpy two-piece bikini, only to be worn on a tropical island.
"Holy shit. What's this?" Ryan’s astonished voice breaks my concentration.
"What's what?" I ask, wondering what he has found.
Looking up, I see he is holding my LSAT prep workbook.
"This is what? Is this old or new?"
"Oh. Well, that's another thing. I've decided that I do want to go to law school, so I started a prep class on Tuesday and Thursday nights."
"No way! Are you kidding me?" He stares at me.
"Nope. Not kidding." I smile back at him, completely smitten by his reaction.
"Wow. That is huge. A move, law school, prep class. You know, I can help you prepare." He’s flipping through the book. "Man, I remember this stuff."
