I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest, my face taking on a pout. “Well when you put it like that it just sounds ridiculous.”
Kevin’s laughter finally died down and he rested his clasped hands on the table. “Look, I asked you out because I thought you were interesting and I wanted a chance to get to know you more. You were always nice in high school, and you’re still nice now. We didn’t hit it off romantically. But I still enjoyed your company.”
“I enjoyed yours too,” I replied honestly. Because I had. He’s made me laugh and, despite my thoughts being full of Ethan, not once was I bored in Kevin’s company.
“If it makes you feel better, silver lining is I’m not going to go home and pine after you, so there’s no reason we can’t be friends.”
My face curved into a genuine smile. “I’d really, really like that.”
“Then it’s settled.” He clapped his palm on the table. “From here on out we’re friends.”
I giggled and nodded in agreement just as a crash rattled so loud in my ears that I jumped in my chair and both Kevin and I twisted our heads around toward the bar area. “Shit,” I whispered as soon as my eyes hit the scene. The crash came from a waitress who’d just dropped an entire tray of drinks. A tray she dropped because someone had apparently stumbled into her. “Shit,” I whispered again when Ethan’s gaze came to mine and I could see that he hadn’t stumbled because of his injured knee. He’d stumbled because he was three sheets to the wind.
And he was now coming our way.
“Do you need me to get you out of here?” Kevin asked, but it was a few seconds too late. Ethan moved surprisingly fast for someone recovering from an ACL surgery and being completely smashed.
“Waldo.” The one word came out as a growl as he stared Kevin down.
“Ethan.” At the sound of my voice, his head turned, his eyes trailing behind by a second, laying proof to just how drunk he was, not that I couldn’t already smell the alcohol on him. “What are you doing?”
“What? A guy can’t have a few beers with a friend?” he asked sarcastically.
“You’re drunk. And it smells like you’ve had a lot more than just beer. You shouldn’t be drinking anything else.”
A bark of humorless laughter rumbled from his chest as he stumbled on his feet, having to drop his hands to the top of the table to keep his balance. “You acting like you actually care about me now?” The question cut me because I never stopped caring.
“Stop it,” I whispered, my voice full of warning.
“I think maybe we should get you a cab home, friend,” Kevin cut in. He was just beginning to stand, his hands out like he was reaching to help steady Ethan. God, he was such a nice guy.
“We’re not friends,” Ethan bit out so harshly Kevin paused. “You have what I want. As long as that’s the case, we’ll never be friends.”
I felt my eyes go round in shock, not only at the malice in his voice as he spoke, but at the confusing declaration. What the hell was he even talking about?
“Ethan, enough,” I broke the stare-off happening between the two men by standing from my chair. “You aren’t even making any sense, and your causing a scene. Just let Kevin get you a cab.”
“I don’t need Kevin to do anything for me.” With that, he turned his back on me and continued talking, moving closer to Kevin in a way that didn’t seem good. “You’re lucky enough to keep her, you better fucking treat her like gold.”
“Ethan, stop!” I snapped.
To his credit, Kevin stood his ground, even though his face was two shades paler. I couldn’t really blame him for being scared of Ethan. The man had at least two inches and several pounds of muscle on him. His hands came up in a placating gesture. “I think the two of you should probably talk once you’ve sobered up.
“Don’t need to sober up,” Ethan told him. “I’m talking now, and I’m talking to you.” To emphasize his point, he drilled his finger into Kevin’s chest, making him wince.
“Enough!” I jumped in and grabbed Ethan’s hand, shoving it away from Kevin. “You’re embarrassing yourself and me!”
But he wasn’t done. “Fucked up six years ago. Fucked up so goddamned bad I lost the best thing in my life. You do that you’re even more stupid than I am.” The air in the entire room grew thick at the same time my back shot straight and every muscle in my body froze up.
“Ethan,” Kevin coaxed. How he managed to sound so calm was beyond me, because I suddenly felt like the ground beneath my feet was crumbling. “Let’s get you home, okay? Stop now before you say something you can’t take back tomorrow. You don’t want to do this when you’re drunk.”
“Lost her,” Ethan mumbled more to himself than anyone else. “And I fucking hate myself for it. Every goddamned day for the past six years. And I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life ‘cause I’ll never get her back. Not the way I had her then, and not the way I want her now.”
I couldn’t listen anymore. I just couldn’t. It was all just too much. What he’d said, the ravaged expression on his face when he’d said it. I was at war with myself. Part of me wanting to grab hold of him and hold on for dear life, the other part wanted to hurt him for letting me go in the first place, for wrecking me.
His words filled me with joy, yet at the same time they destroyed me.
Because I felt the exact same way.
I wanted him in a way I never had before, not even when I was ten years old and convinced I would someday marry him. But I couldn’t trust him not to break me again. When he left the first time, it killed. The pain was worse than anything my own mother had ever done to me because he’d been my best friend. There was no way I’d ever survive him leaving a second time.
And he would leave. It was a guarantee. His life wasn’t in Pembrooke anymore. It was in Denver.
I grabbed my jacket from the back of my chair and snatched my purse off the table. The air was too thick. I couldn’t breathe. I was feeling too much of everything and if I didn’t get out now, I’d crumble in front of everyone. “I’m sorry. I have to go,” I mumbled, pushing past the two men in front of me, ignoring their calls and all the eyes of the bar customers on me as I bolted for the door.
20
Eliza
“Eliza! Eliza, wait!”
I didn’t wait. The wooden boards of the sidewalk clanked angrily under my high-heeled boots as I rushed to get home. I was only about halfway there by the time Ethan caught up with me.
“Go home, Ethan!” I yelled over my shoulder, never breaking stride.
“Damn it! Will you just fucking slow down? I need to talk to you.”
“I have nothing to say to you! You had no right to say that shit back there! Just leave me alone!”
“I’m not leaving you alone until you talk to me!”
“God!” I stopped just long enough to spin around and pin him with a hateful look. “There’s nothing to talk about! You can’t just disappear for six years, then come back and say… all that,” I waved my hand back in the direction of The Moose. “You have no right!”
“Baby, please—”
“Don’t call me that! I’m not your baby.”
I picked up the pace, my feet moving me faster as I rounded the side of the building that led to the alley behind the cafe. I was almost home free. Rummaging through my purse for my keys, my foot just hit the bottom step that would take me up to my apartment when Ethan’s pained voice made me jolt to a stop.
“ARGH! Goddamn it! Fuck!”
I spun around just in time to see him hunch over, his hands to the knee that was still covered by the brace. At the sight of it, my insides went cold and everything that had happened earlier to make me run flew from my mind.
I dropped my purse on the ground and ran straight toward him. “Oh my God. Are you okay?” I put my hand to his shoulders to help straighten him. His eyelids were screwed shut, his face twisted in pain as his chest rose and fell with uneven breaths. “Christ, Ethan. What happened?”
>
“My knee,” he panted. “Wrenched it.”
My stomach dropped. “Shit. Okay, okay. Just breathe.” I leaned into him and took some of his weight. “Are you going to be okay? Did you tear it again?”
“No,” he answered, his breathing finally beginning to slow down. “No. It’ll be okay. Just twisted it.”
“Jesus,” I said on an exhale, relief and frustration warring inside of me. “Have you lost your mind?” I snapped, frustration winning out as I led him closer to the stairs. “You could have really hurt yourself, you dumbass!”
He limped slowly, leaning on me to keep weight off his bad knee. “I needed to talk to you, and you wouldn’t slow down.”
“So you risked a potential career ending injury. Really fucking smart, Ethan.”
He wobbled slightly, the effects of the booze still in his system. “I hate it when you’re mad at me,” he muttered as I propped him up against the wall at the base of the stairs.
“Then stop doing stupid shit and I wouldn’t have to keep getting mad,” I seethed as I moved away from him to get to my purse. There was no way I was getting him up those stairs all by myself. And putting him in my car and driving him back to Harlow and Noah’s would have just prolonged a night that I was ready to be done with.
“Always doing stupid shit,” he continued to mumble as I rummaged in my bag for my phone. “Why couldn’t I have just been content with my life here?” My hand froze at his question, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut against the onslaught of tears that threatened to break free. I’d asked myself that same question over and over for so long, that hearing him actually voice it was like a physical blow. I gave myself a few seconds to compose myself before I continued the search for my phone. Unfortunately, Ethan used my silence to continue his goddamned self-reflection.
“If I could have just been happy, I would still have you. Why was I always such a miserable fucking person?”
He was ripping me apart. If he didn’t stop soon, I wasn’t sure how much of me there would have been left. I’d never been so confused in my life. I could have shouted in relief when my fingers curled around my cellphone for the simple fact I wouldn’t have to listen to him say things that made my belly curl with pleasure at the same time fury brought my blood to a boil.
“’Lo?” Lilly’s sleepy voice said on the other end. I was lucky she answered since my roommate slept like the dead.
“Hey, it’s me. I need your help. Can you come outside?”
“What? Where are you?”
I twisted my head to look in Ethan’s direction when he let out a pitiful groan. “I’m outside. Just come downstairs.” I hung up and dropped the phone back into my purse in just enough time to dash back to Ethan and grab him as he toppled over sideways.
“What the hell?” Lilly spoke from the landing.
“Come help me,” I groaned as I tried to carry too much of his weight. I was only seconds away from falling on my ass. “I can’t get him upstairs by myself.”
“Good Lord,” she grunted as she reached us and threw one of his arms over her shoulder. “He smells like a brewery.”
We began the tedious process of getting Ethan up the stairs and into the apartment. “I know. He got wasted at the Moose and made a huge scene. Then the stupid jerk twisted his knee chasing after me.”
“Mmm,” Ethan moaned, turning his head and burying his face in my hair just as we made it to the landing. “Always smell so good.”
“Oh my god,” Lilly’s entire body began shaking with laughter, causing my hold on Ethan to slip.
“Shut up,” I grumbled, wrapping my arm tighter around his waist to keep steady. The move only made him bury his face further into my neck. He moaned and inhaled deeply, causing goosebumps to break out across my flesh.
“Fuck baby,” he groaned into my hair. “Never get tired of your smell.”
“Shit, Eliza. How much did he have to drink?”
We made it all the way into the living room. “I don’t know,” I strained and dropped his massive frame onto the couch. “Enough to start spouting out stupid stuff in front of every single person at The Moose.”
Lilly and I both stood, staring down at his prone body on the couch, both of us panting for breath, our hands resting on our hips. “So what are we supposed to do with him now?”
“I guess we’ll just let him sleep it off. He can call his sister tomorrow when he wakes up.”
I leaned down and pulled off his shoes one by one before lifting his lower legs as gently as I could onto the couch so Ethan was lying down instead of sitting up at a weird, uncomfortable looking angle. I hadn’t even stood back up when his hands were suddenly on my hips and I was moving with a startled yelp.
“Ethan!”
He moaned again as his strong arms held me against his body. I squirmed and pushed, trying to get off from on top of him, but one arm locked around my back while the other trailed down my side, causing my body to lock up as it got closer and closer to my ass. “Feel so good,” he mumbled with his eyes closed, sounding drowsy.
Two seconds later my body came unlocked when I was proven right and Ethan released a soft, rumbling snore that rattled through his chest and into mine. I put my hands to his massive chest and gave a gentle push only to be thwarted when his arms around me tightened and he shifted in his sleep, twisting his body enough to pin half of mine to the couch beneath him.
“Lilly,” I whispered. “Lilly, help me.”
I turned my head when I heard a gargled choking sound and found my best friend holding her hands over her mouth to try and suppress her laughter. “This isn’t funny,” I hiss and struggled against Ethan in vain. “I can’t get out. Help me.”
“Oh my God,” Lilly wheezed, her hands dropping to her knees as she lost it. “This is too good.” Then, to my dismay, she disappeared for a few seconds, only to reappear with her phone in her hand.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Taking a picture. I have to record this moment for posterity.”
“Oh, you’re such a bitch.” I gave his chest another shove and earned even more of his weight as he pulled me further beneath him.
The shutter on her phone’s camera clicked a few times before she finally lowered it. “Well, I’m beat. I’m heading back to bed. Sleep tight, you cuddle bugs.”
“Lilly, no. Lilly!” I hissed when the light in the living room was extinguished.
“Nighty, night,” she called.
“I hate you!”
Then the apartment grew silent, with the exception of Ethan’s gentle snoring. It most definitely wasn’t the most comfortable position to be in, but every time I tried to move, his hold on me just grew stronger so I was finally forced to stop struggling.
I tried my best to settle in and closed my eyes, only for them to shoot open again when his hips shifted and pressed against mine. His groan sounded almost pained as the stiffness of his erection pressed into me, causing my breath to hitch. “Mmm, feel so good, baby,” he snuffled, sleepily, telling me he was still asleep. His face pressed into my neck as he continued to sleep talk. “Miss you, sweetheart.” My chest caved in as all the air left my lungs. “Miss you so much.”
I remained silent as Ethan’s body finally settled completely. The minutes ticked by as he slept like the dead. All the while I was stuck staring up at the dark ceiling, sleep evading me as so many unanswered questions swam through my head.
The most important one being what the hell am I going to do?
Because no matter how many times I told myself I wasn’t going to let my heart get involved again the truth was, it already was.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind I was going to get hurt again. And the scariest thing about that was there was no way for me to brace for the impact.
21
Ethan
The nagging throb in my head only grew worse as the sun lit behind my eyelids, pushing away the last dregs of sleep.
Three things hit me all at once. First was that I wa
sn’t on the sleeper sofa in my sister’s living room. Second was that, despite the headache, I felt like I’d had one of the best night’s sleeps in my entire life. And third, I was surrounded by Eliza’s scent, a scent so strong the only thing that could cut through it was the aroma of bacon drifting into the room.
Pushing up to sitting, I took in my surroundings as images of the night before came back to me in full force. It was a curse and a boon, the fact that no matter how drunk I got, I was still able to remember what had happened the night before, and in the case of last night, there were good and bad things about remembering it all. The bad was that I’d once again pissed Eliza off. The good was I remembered how it felt when her warm, lush body was in my arms before I finally succumbed to sleep.
That particular memory was one I was going to enjoy the minute I got myself into a shower. If I didn’t, there was no telling how long the hard-on behind my fly would plague me.
“Well, good morning, sleepy head.” My head shot around to look over the back of the couch. Lilly stood in the open-concept kitchen, tongs in hand as she manned a skillet full of bacon. “I was wondering how long you’d stay passed out on our couch. Got worried for a second when you didn’t move when I kicked you. Had to hold a mirror under your nose just to make sure you were breathing.”
I felt relatively confident, by the smile on her face, that she hadn’t really kicked me. But I couldn’t be positive.
“What time is it?” I asked, reaching into my pocket for my cell. When I came up empty, Lilly spoke again and pointed the tongs in my direction.
“It’s on the coffee table. Don’t worry. I didn’t feel you up when I pulled it out of your pocket. But that damn thing has been ringing off the hook since seven this morning. It was either put it on silent or tap dance on it.”
I grabbed it off the table and hit the button at the bottom to turn it on. Sure enough, my phone was on vibrate and there were a ton of missed calls and text messages. All from Harlow worrying about where I was.
Welcome to Pembrooke: The Complete Pembrooke Series Page 33
