The smart thing to do would have been to tell him to leave, close the door in his face, and spare myself the pain that was inevitable. But damn it, I just couldn’t bring myself to do the smart thing. Ever since I found out my father was dying I’d felt more alone than ever. The only times in the past month the loneliness had been bearable was when I was with Quinn. I wanted to feel more of that. And for that reason, instead of kicking him out, I found myself whispering, “Take me to bed.”
20
Lilly
He didn’t have to be told twice. Once again, his lips fused with mine and I was lost. My arms and legs wrapped around Quinn’s muscular body as he stood from the couch and made his way down the hall toward my bedroom. We didn’t break contact until he dropped me onto the mattress. Reaching for the waistband, he pulled my leggings and panties down in one quick swoop. Sitting up, not wanting to delay feeling him inside me, I pulled my sweater over my head and unclasped my bra, letting the straps fall down my arms and exposing myself to him completely. Before there was a chance for self-consciousness to kick in, he reached behind his neck and yanked his shirt over his head, giving me my first glimpse of all that toned, well-defined muscle.
“Oh my god,” I sighed, reaching out with both hands to trace the lines of his abs, counting eight in total before leading to that delicious V that dipped into his jeans.
Quinn toed off his boots and socks while I worked the fly of his jeans, desperate to get to where that V ended. Never in my life had I been so consumed with the need to touch and be touched. I wanted him in a way I’d never wanted another man in my life.
As soon as I had his zipper down, I grabbed hold of the waistband and jerked his pants down. His hard cock sprang free, thick and straining. I wasn’t a virgin, not by a long shot, but the sight of Quinn in all his glory took my breath away. I’d never seen anything so perfect, so beautiful, in my life. The desire to taste him had me licking my lips just before I bent my head and ran my tongue along the very tip of his erection.
“Oh, Christ,” he grunted. His hips jerked and I opened my mouth to suck more of him inside, wrapping my fingers around the base as I began to move my head. “Fuck, baby, stop. You have to stop.” He pulled back and I was hit with a sudden wave of self-consciousness. I’d never been a fan of giving blowjobs before, but I wanted to please Quinn in a way I’d never experienced. And having him pull back left me feeling bereft and embarrassed.
I moved to cover my naked breasts. “Did I…” I swallowed thickly. “Did I do it wrong?”
“What? No. Fuck, no.” He leaned over me until I was forced to lay back, then he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head. “It was amazing. Too amazing. If I let you continue, I was going to come in your mouth, and that’s not what I want.”
A shiver worked through my body as the throb between my legs deepened. “Wh-what do you want, then?”
His mouth hovered over mine as his knees pushed my legs further apart. His cock nudged against my opening and I lifted my hips in an attempt to pull him closer. “Tell me you’re protected.”
It took me a few seconds to understand what he was saying, but when it finally registered, I nodded. “The pill.”
“I want to feel you. Nothing between us. You okay with that?”
Oh damn, I was more than okay with that. But I didn’t want this to be something he’d eventually regret. “Are you sure?” I asked. “I have condoms—”
My words were cut off, and I cried out in ecstasy as he sank himself inside me as deep as he could go. “So goddamned perfect,” he gritted, as he pulled out and thrust back in, filling me so completely. I felt him everywhere as he moved over me, inside me. I whimpered and struggled, trying to free my hands from his unrelenting grasp as every powerful drive of his hips brought me closer to my release.
“Quinn,” I moaned, as his cock hit the perfect spot inside of me. “Let me touch you. Please.”
His fingers tightened around my wrists as he shoved my hands deeper into the mattress. “You feel me, baby?”
“Yes,” I gasped. “Please, let me touch you.”
“You’re all I’ve been able to think about,” he grunted, picking up his pace, moving so hard and fast my body shifted across the bed every time he pushed back in. “Tell me you’ve been thinking about me.”
“All the time,” I admitted.
His forehead dropped to my shoulder. “Thank God.” He finally released my hands at the same time every cell in my body exploded. My legs clamped around his waist and my nails dug into his shoulders as I lost all control. Everything inside me tightened until it snapped, and my head shot back as I cried out with the most intense orgasm of my life. I was still riding the high when Quinn buried himself to the hilt and groaned my name against my neck.
Tiny shockwaves of pleasure sparked through me as I felt his cock twitch with the last of his release. Minutes later, we were both breathing heavy and unable to move. I kept my hold on him, afraid that if I let go he’d somehow disappear.
My bones felt like rubber as exhaustion began to envelop me, and the last thing I remembered before sleep took over, was Quinn shifting his weight and turning us both so that his back was to my chest. And then everything went black.
When I woke up the early morning sun was just beginning to filter through the slats in my blinds, painting my room in pale shades of gray and pink. It took several seconds for the disorientation of sleep to wear off, and once it did I realized I wasn’t alone in my bed and images of the night before came flooding back. Quinn had shown up at my apartment. We fought. He kissed me. We had sex.
Shame began to seep from every pore, not because it wasn’t good. It had been nothing less than amazing. But because that one act could have possibly ruined the already rocky friendship we were working so hard to maintain. I knew him well enough to know that he’d more than likely wake up with regrets… regrets that would cause him to push me away indefinitely.
Squeezing my eyes closed as pain lanced through my chest, I bent my head on the pillow and did my best to talk myself out of the inevitable freak-out I felt stirring in the pit of my stomach. Just the thought of losing him completely killed.
When I opened my eyes once more, the glint of the sun hitting something caught my attention, and my chest seized. Quinn’s arm was wrapped firmly around my stomach, holding my back to his chest. Normally, waking up like that would have filled me with a riot of butterflies, but the sight of his ever-present wedding ring still on his left ring finger made my blood run cold.
Oh yeah, he was going to wake up with regrets. I was certain of it.
Needing to escape and collect my bearings for the blow I was about to face, I slowly lifted his hand and slid from the bed, keeping as quiet as possible so as not to wake him.
I crept from the room into the bathroom, refusing to allow myself to turn and look at the gorgeous man asleep in my bed. That would have just made it harder. I brushed my teeth, splashed water on my face, and slid my robe on to conceal my naked body. Then I moved to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. I was going to need it if I had any hope of getting through this morning.
Quinn
The strong aroma of coffee invaded my senses and stirred me from the deepest sleep I’d had in years. I woke in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, but as soon as the subtle scent of Lilly’s perfume on the sheets hit me, my cock started to get hard.
Christ, last night had been… phenomenal. I kept my eyes closed, taking in the lingering smell of flowers as I slid my hand across the sheets in search of the woman who’d made me come so hard the night before, I’d seen stars. My eyelids snapped open when my hand hit nothing but air. A glance around showed that Lilly wasn’t even in the room.
Slipping from the bed, I snatched my jeans from the floor and slid them on, sans underwear. I didn’t even bother to button them as I started from the bedroom toward the kitchen. Reaching the end of the hall, I stopped at the sight of Lilly sitting quietly at her little dinette table. I had the
perfect view of her profile, elbows on the table, a cup of coffee held between her hands. She wasn’t moving, just sitting perfectly still, a distant expression on her face, like she was deep in thought. There wasn’t even the slightest flinch in her frame that led me to believe she’d heard me moving around.
“Hey,” I spoke softly, coming up behind her and resting my hands on her shoulders. At my touch and the sound of my voice, she did a startled jump and let out a yelp as she spun in her chair, nearly dropping the coffee cup in the process. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
Setting the mug on the table, she brought one hand up and held it against her chest as if trying to hold her heart in place. “Jeez, Quinn. Are you a ninja or something? I didn’t even hear you enter the room.”
I chuckled as I pulled the chair next to her out and took a seat. “Well, I wasn’t really all that quiet.”
She smiled, but it wasn’t even enough to bring that dimple out I loved seeing so much. One long look at her face and I knew something wasn’t right. I pulled the chair beside her out, and turned it so that, when I sat, I was facing her directly and my thighs were bracketing her legs. “Hey, you okay?”
I got the side of her face again when she looked away and lifted her coffee to her lips. “I’m fine,” she said quietly against the rim of her cup.
My stomach dropped, because she was anything but fine. When it came to women I’d learned early on, ‘fine’ never meant fine. “Lilly.”
She hummed, keeping her gaze diverted.
That sinking feeling grew more intense as I demanded, “Look at me.” I finally got her eyes, but what I saw in them didn’t do a damn thing to ease the knot in my gut. She looked skittish… almost scared.
“What’s going on? And don’t lie to me this time.”
She set the cup down, once again, but this time turned to give me her full attention. Her voice was low as she said, “I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
My brow furrowed in confusion. “Huh?”
“We had sex last night,” she added on a whisper.
“I know. I was there. Thank fucking God.”
It was her turn to look confused. “Y-you… you don’t regret it?”
That was when it hit me. And the feeling wasn’t a good one. Thanks to my shitty actions over the past several weeks, I’d trained Lilly to expect the absolute worst when it came to me. I couldn’t fault her for being leery. I’d basically taught her to expect the worst. And just knowing that cut so deep I wasn’t sure the wound would ever heal right.
“No,” I stated firmly before growling, “Fuck no. I don’t regret it.”
Her eyes started to shine as they darted down to my hands, more specifically, to the finger my wedding ring rested on. Shit, I’d made such a mess of everything. “How can you say that?” Her voice grew thick as she continued. “How can you even expect me to believe it? Every time we get close, you shove me away. Well, last night was the closest two people could get, wasn’t it?”
I leaned forward and cupped her cheeks in my hands. To my relief, she nuzzled into my hold instead of pulling away. “I’m so goddamned sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I’m a mess, Lil. My head’s all twisted up, and I can’t promise I won’t fuck up again, but I swear, I don’t regret last night.”
“Maybe not now—”
“Not ever,” I interrupted. “I know I’ve given you no reason to believe me, but I’m telling the truth.”
She studied my expression, searching for anything that would prove my words were less than genuine. Again, I couldn’t blame her, but fuck me, did that ever sting. “What are we doing here, Quinn?”
It was a question I dreaded, mainly because I didn’t have an answer. I wasn’t lying when I said I had no regrets about what happened last night, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t confused as hell about where it was leading. “I don’t know,” I answered as honestly as possible. And from the way her face dropped and her expression became guarded, I knew it wasn’t a good one.
I tightened my hold on her and scrambled to give her an explanation that wouldn’t have her running in the other direction. “Look, I don’t have all the answers you’re looking for, but I want to try this. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and trying to keep my distance is only making us both miserable. Can we just… can we take this one day at a time?”
It wasn’t a very reasonable request on my part, but it was the best I could do. I knew I wanted her, but the guilt at the thought of betraying my wife hadn’t lessened. I felt like I was being ripped in half, pulled in two different directions, and neither of them felt totally right. I didn’t know what else to do.
“One day at a time,” she repeated softly.
“Yeah.”
“Like… dating?”
The idea of labeling what we were doing was uncomfortable, but at least dating was a label I could live with. Anything more concrete would have sent me over the edge, and I couldn’t stand the idea of hurting her again. Dating was the best I could do. At least for now. I just prayed to God she could accept that.
“Yeah, I guess you could call it that.” I ran the pad of my thumb along her cheekbone. “I know I’ve given you no reason to trust me, and I have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring, but I want to try this… with you.”
“One day at a time.”
“Yes,” I said softly, my eyes pleading with her. “It’s all I’ve got right now, Lilly. Please, tell me you understand.”
“I do,” she whispered on a nod. “I understand that this has to be hard for you.”
I couldn’t keep the hopefulness in my voice in check as I asked, “So you’ll try?”
And when she gave me another nod, I breathed a sigh of relief as the knot in my stomach unfurled. “Thank you,” I breathed, leaning in to close the distance between us and repeated, “Thank you,” against her lips.
She pulled back just enough to draw my attention to her eyes. “Just… promise you won’t hurt me again, okay?”
I didn’t answer. Instead, I devoured her lips — tasting, licking, and nipping until her entire body went pliant and fell against me, her question long forgotten. I couldn’t promise her that, because somewhere deep inside I knew that promise would be the hardest one to keep.
21
Lilly
“All right, guys. You did great today! I’ll see you next week.”
Choruses of “Bye, Ms. Lilly” rang out around the room as the little girls scattered to their parents. I lifted my gaze just as Quinn pushed through the studio room door.
My heartbeat kicked up several notches at the sight of him. He stood at least a head taller than the rest of the parents in the room, so I didn’t miss the tiny smirk that played on his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall like he didn’t have a care in the world. God, he was fine.
I felt like a teenage girl with a silly crush. My stomach swooped and my skin got tingly as I diverted my attention, staring at anything and everything except him. I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I passed out hugs and good byes to my students.
I finally started in his direction, working to push my nerves back, telling myself I was being ridiculous. But everything about our relationship had changed. Two nights ago I’d seen him naked, felt him move inside me. I had intimate knowledge of his body, and just thinking about it made me want to blush and giggle. We hadn’t really had a chance to see each other since he stayed the night at my apartment, but he’d called and texted several times, and each time my phone lit up with his name I got all giddy.
“Hi.” Damn it. My voice came out a lot breathier and low than I’d intended.
That smirk of his grew, coming dangerously close to his eyes. “Hi back.”
“Daddy!” Sophia came rushing over. “Look what I learned today!” She went down in plié just like I’d taught them before doing a pretty damn good pirouette.
“That’s amazing, Angel. You’re doing so good.”
“Go get your stuff, baby girl. I’m going to have a word with Ms. Lilly then we’ll go home and I’ll get dinner started.”
She rushed off to go grab her backpack and Quinn turned back to me, whispering, “How are you?”
My face got hot all over again, and I knew he saw it because his green eyes began to shoot sparks. “Why do I suddenly feel like a fourteen-year-old with a crush when you’re around?” It was meant to be a rhetorical question, but that didn’t stop him from answering… and making my face flush even worse.
His voice dropped so low only I could hear it as he said, “Maybe because I’ve been up close and personal with every inch of your body and now know exactly what you look like when you come. Or maybe it’s because you know I plan on seeing that look on your face again… very soon.”
Sophia came running back just as my mouth dropped open and my eyes bugged out. “Daddy! Can we have tacos for dinner? Pleeeease?”
I was still stunned speechless, a tremor building between my thighs from Quinn’s statement as he turned to look at his daughter.
“Yes, we can have tacos.”
“Yes!” She pumped her little fist then asked, “Oh! Can Ms. Lilly come?” She gave me her attention and stated enthusiastically, “Daddy’s like the best cook ever. His tacos are awesome!”
Welcome to Pembrooke: The Complete Pembrooke Series Page 54
