Adrian pulls Mia’s attention away from me, which is fine. I need a few minutes to process everything that she just told me, anyways.
I watch the group of men in the corner, and as I do, I watch a woman in a skintight, gold sequined dress that leaves nothing to the imagination, grab onto Jude’s suit jacket and pull him towards her. Jealously courses through me. It shouldn’t- I don’t have the right to feel anything for the guy. I know where I stand with him. It’s the same place that he stands with me.
We’ve fucked. That’s all that we are, and all that we ever will be. He’s my rebound, my fling. The guy that I slept with a few times while I got over my breakup. Even still, I hate the feeling that grows in the pit of my stomach as I watch her throw herself at him, while he continues to flirt like mad. He feels my stare. It would be impossible for him not to. If my eyes were laser beams, I would burn holes right into his skin, and yet, he barely fucking acknowledges me. I get a single glance, and then his attention shifts back to her. It’s rejection, at its fucking finest.
I’ve never experienced it like this before, and it hurts more than it should. It makes me miss BJ something fierce, the feeling taking me by total surprise. I never had to worry about him rejecting me like this. He loved me. At least I thought that he did, until he blindsided me. That feeling hurt worse than Jude’s rejection.
Good grief. I have too many emotions ravaging around inside of me right now to even think clearly about anything.
I just need to be away from Jude Masters.
“Willow!” I hear him, of course, but I pretend that I don’t. I just keep my feet moving. I’m already halfway down the long hall that leads to the staircase. From here, I can even see the prize. The prize is the door that leads out of this building and away from all of the pompous and arrogant people inside.
It also leads away from Jude, who I have just had to watch flirt like a devil with every woman in the place. He’s been on the dance floor, chatting it up at the bar, and cornered whenever he’s sitting, all by beautiful women, in tight dresses, showcasing gorgeous bodies. I know that I have no right to feel the way that I do, but frankly, I’m pissed.
I hate that I’m angry, and I really hate the way that it makes me feel. Jude and I just two people who had sex together, more than once. He has never hidden who he was, and for goodness sake, I’ve seen it all, firsthand. I knew how he was, and he never insinuated that he was willing to change. In fact, he told me that he wouldn’t.
So, I have no reason to be mad, and yet, I’m fucking steaming.
“Willow, I’m impressed with your ability to sprint in heels, but can you hold up?”
His hand wraps around my elbow, forcing me to stop and face him. It’s the last thing that I want to do at this point. I was hoping to sneak out of the party without him seeing me, especially since about thirty seconds before I left, Wyatt texted me, telling me that he was leaving with a friend, but that Jude would bring me home whenever I was ready.
Fuck that.
I don’t want Jude to see that I’m angry or upset. I’m embarrassed that I’m even feeling this way. Sneaking out in an Uber seemed like the easiest option. So much for that.
“Jude.” I try to seem surprised, but I’m not sure that he buys it. He eyes me curiously, glancing between the exit door and the door that leads back into the ballroom. “I was ready to leave, and I didn’t want to interrupt you. You looked like you were having a good time.” I hope that I sound carefree, but the words taste bitter leaving my mouth.
“Ok, but how are you getting home? I thought that I was bringing you home. Wyatt asked me to.”
This actually does annoy me. My brother is the one who drug me here in the first place, and then, he found some girl that he wanted to hook up with tonight, and so he just left, leaving me in the care of his buddy. Well, no one needs to be on Willow duty, tonight. I can manage myself just fine, thank you very much.
“I called an Uber. He’ll be here in ten minutes. I was just going to wait outside.”
“An Uber?” Jude snorts, and then reaches for my phone, causing me to turn quickly and shove it into my purse. “Your brother will be pissed if you leave in an Uber, Willow. I’m bringing you home. Cancel it.”
“Stop.” I’m irritated, and I’m about to take it out on Jude who doesn’t deserve it. He’s out here, doing his due diligence by trying to get me home. “I don’t care what Wyatt thinks about it. If he cares so much, he should have driven me home himself. And I didn’t want to interrupt you. You looked pretty busy being the belle of the ball in there.”
“Belle of the ball?” His signature smirk explodes on his face, which causes an unwelcome rush of emotions to race through me. He leans into me, and as he does, the scent of him surrounds me, caging me in. It’s too much. It’s all too much, really. The man is insanely gorgeous. Every inch of him, the most delectable type of sin known to the female species. But like Mia said earlier, it’s just too damn bad that he lets anyone with a vagina sample it.
Like me, for example.
“What exactly does that mean?”
I roll my eyes. The way that he smirks lets me know that he already knows what I’m talking about. If this party was high school, Jude would be the most popular guy here. He doesn’t need me to spell it out for him.
“Wait a second.” His eyes lock with mine, causing my heart to nearly stop beating. “Are you jealous?”
I brush past him and continue moving towards the exit. He’s calling me out on my shit, and I’m not a fan of it at all. It’s a dick move, in my book.
“Why are you jealous? Willow, seriously. I was just having a good time. It’s not like I was planning on going home with any of those women. I’m just a flirt. It’s not a big deal.”
“You’re right, it’s not.” I march down the stairs, impressing even myself with how quickly I can move down them in my four inch heels. “That’s just who you are. The flirty, dance with everyone, make every woman feel like the most beautiful woman in the room type of guy. And the oh, by the way, can I run a train on you, type of guy?”
I’m almost spitting my words at him at this point, sounding a hell of a lot meaner than I intend to be. I’m just so irritated by everything right now, and well, Jude’s here. So, he’s the one that’s getting unloaded on.
“I’m not just that guy.” He somehow manages to get in front of me on the landing of the staircase. Since the steps are steep and I need to hold onto the railing for support, I’m not able to move away from him. I narrow my gaze at him, realizing immediately that I’m either trapped in place, or that I have to move back upstairs towards the party. “And for the record, I’ve never run a train on anyone. That’s just gross, Willow.”
“He has morals.” I clutch my chest in fake shock and then narrow my eyes again. “Fine, no trains, just a lot of sex. Can you move now? I’m sure you need to get back to the party. The women are probably pretty anxious without you. The airheads desperately need their leader.”
“Willow.” Jude blinks a few times, studying my face, a look of confusion evident on his beautiful features. Fuck, the way that his eyes soften makes it difficult to stay angry at him. I mean, I’m not angry at him, necessarily, I have no reason to be. Jude made no promises to me about anything. Not that I need them.
Jude and I have a sex only relationship. There’s no hope of a future, there’s no promise of tomorrow. It’s literally just sex. He can sleep with whomever he chooses and take home whoever he wants. That’s the way that this works, and I have no doubt that had I not stormed out and caught his attention, he would be back in the party, making those types of plans right now.
But I can’t play this kind of game anymore. Waking up next to him this morning messed with my head. Sleeping in his arms all night felt too real, and way too good. And knowing what I do know, about the size of the heart that sits in his chest, would make falling for this guy a no brainer.
Which is precisely why I need to keep moving.
“I’m sorry
if I made you angry in there. I promise, I had no intentions of sleeping with any of those women. I just…”
“You don’t owe me an explanation, Jude.” I lean my head down, and lower my voice, as some of the party goers move down the staircase towards the exit. The women smile appreciatively at Jude, and the men stop just long enough to high five him and give him one armed bro hugs.
See what I meant about Jude being Mr. Popular? Everybody wants a piece of him. Including me. But I’m not going to sample any more of the candy that is Jude Masters. Nope, not happening.
Those days are firmly behind me, even though, technically, I’ve had him today. Still though, I’m turning over a new leaf. Tonight’s event showed me that I am not a good side piece, not that I had any inkling that I was. I’m a relationship girl, I’m vanilla. Jude is a mixture of every fine flavor available. And his free samples are always snatched up quickly.
“Did I hurt you?” The question catches me off guard. It’s not what I expected to come out of Jude’s mouth, and the sincerity in his voice wreaks havoc on me. Damn him for being such a good guy.
I just shake my head.
“No, you didn’t. I had no expectations of this working out between us. We just had sex a few times, Jude. But now, it’s got to be done. I don’t like feeling this way, being angry at you for absolutely no reason. You’re a good guy. You just have…” I nibble on my lower lip while searching for the right words. “A wild side. One that I’m not comfortable with.”
I push past him towards the door, but much to my surprise, and dislike, as I step out onto the sidewalk, he’s hot on my heels. And as I find my Uber, my irritation with all things Jude Masters reaches an all time high, when he climbs into the car right behind me.
“What in the fuck are you doing?” I narrow my eyes at him, which only makes his smirk widen. He ignores me completely, speaking directly to the driver.
“Hey, brother. You mind bringing this nice young lady to the address she gave you, and then dropping me back off here?”
The driver sighs loudly, and turns around, ready to say no. I smile to myself at the idea of getting to watch Jude get thrown out of an Uber, but the second that recognition dawns on the driver’s face, my hopes of that fly right out of the window.
“Holy shit!” He stares at Jude with starstruck eyes. “You’re Jude fucking Masters!”
“In the flesh.” Jude fist bumps him and beams. “And if you could do me that solid, I’ve got a nice hundo here with your name all over it. My friend Willow doesn’t like to travel alone.”
Lies. All fucking lies.
I’m not his friend, and I sure as hell am fine being all alone. But the driver couldn’t care less that my face is screaming at him right now to kick Jude out. It’s not going to happen.
Mr. Popularity wins again.
I don’t utter a word the entire Uber ride home. Not that I had the chance to, anyways. Jude and the driver have become the best of friends, chatting it up like two giggling schoolgirls the entire twenty minute ride home. I’m pretty sure that Jude is now in the guy’s wedding (which is why he’s currently driving for Uber, to save some cash) and now has a box seat in the Saints stadium for the entire month of September as a wedding gift from Jude.
The second that the car pulls into my driveway, I’m opening the door before it’s even stopped, not that the driver noticed. He didn’t even ask me to pay him, but as I tried to interrupt their conversation to offer up some cash, he ignored me completely and continued to talk to Jude. Fuck it. Jude can cover me. That’s what he gets for making himself my plus one for the ride home.
I slam the door hard behind me and stomp my feet towards the staircase that leads up to the front porch. I hear Jude’s door open, but he’s no longer the center of my mind. All that I can focus on is the shadow of the man standing on the front porch, staring down at me with his gorgeous green eyes.
My heart stills in my chest, and then, as if on cue, the front lights click on, shining light onto his face. My entire world stops turning, as I focus on BJ, standing above me, wearing a crisp gray suit with a white shirt, complete with a tie. As he moves down the steps towards me, it’s only then that I notice the flower petals covering the staircase, and my engagement ring clutched in his hand.
“Willow.” The way that he says my name makes my heart squeeze in my chest. I’ve really fucking missed hearing it.
“BJ.” The air stills between us, but even in the quiet, I can hear Jude suck in air.
“I hope that I’m not interrupting something, baby.” His eyes turn away from mine and focus on Jude. I’m so stunned that I don’t have any words to set the situation straight. But luckily, I don’t need to. Jude, per usual, has more than enough to say.
“No way, man.” Jude lifts his chin to him. “I’m Wyatt’s friend. He asked me to see Willow home, and so, here I am.”
“Thank God.” BJ instantly relaxes, his eyes turning back towards me. “I didn’t imagine another man into this scenario.”
I’m confused as to what this scenario is, aside from him abruptly showing up on my doorstep, but I don’t have to wait long to find out. I suppose that I should have known what was about to happen, from the ring in his hand, and the rose petals covering the staircase.
“I’m sorry.”
That is one hell of a good start.
“I am so sorry for what happened, Willow. It’s taken me a week to get up the courage to even face you. I made a huge mistake, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m begging you for it.”
BJ looks so damn earnest and so fucking gorgeous. That was one of the first things I noticed about him, the day that I met him, our first day in med school. He’s only gotten better with age. He’s kind, and he’s sweet. When I’m with him, I feel like I’m the center of the universe, because I am. At least, to him.
His dark blonde hair looks like he’s ran his hand through it a million times, which he likely has. He looks like our breakup has broken him, and here I am, standing before him with the guy that I just slept with this morning, standing behind me.
“I turned that residency down, Willow. Fuck that place. They should have picked you over me, and when they didn’t, I shouldn’t have taken it. I just got caught up in it and didn’t think it through. I just figured if I took it, at least we could still move out to Cali, and you could find somewhere else…”
“Seriously? BJ…”
“Let me finish, babe.” He closes the distance towards us, and as he does, Jude fades to the back of my mind. “I messed up. But you didn’t even give me the chance to explain myself. I know how much you wanted to get away from this place, and so I thought that I was doing the right thing. I realize now that it was wrong, but you can’t just storm away from me, every time I piss you off. You agreed to be my wife two nights before you chucked this ring back in my face. I love you, Willow, and I’m sorry for hurting you. But baby, you’ve got to talk things out with me, instead of just bolting.”
I said a lot of things that I didn’t mean that day, and I know that I overreacted to a degree, but his actions still felt a lot like betrayal.
“You should have talked to me about it before you accepted it. If you were really considering my feelings, you would have given me that courtesy. I know that there are other hospitals in Cali, but I wanted that one, and you knew it.”
“I know, Willow.” He steps close enough that our bodies are now touching. “I fucked up. But I promise you, it will never happen again. Do you still love me?”
I answer yes with zero hesitation. I do love BJ. Before Jude, I would have been crumbling apart and falling into BJ’s arms, ready to forgive him and move on with our life together.
Oh my God, girl. Stop thinking about Jude.
“I hate to be the first one to say anything here, but, ah.” Jude’s voice crashes over me, causing a whirlwind of emotions to ravage through me. “This is an awfully private moment, and I should really be going…”
“We can’t leave yet, man
!” The Uber driver sounds astounded. “We’ve got to wait to see if he puts that ring on her finger.”
“As a matter of fact,” BJ twists the ring in his hand, and slips it back onto my finger without a word, his eyes stay locked on mine the entire time, waiting for me to tell him to stop. My gorgeous wedding ring, the one that I posted pictures of on all of my social media accounts, just a week ago, glistens in the moonlight. It’s such a beautiful ring. The man putting it on my hand might be flawed, but he loves me.
And I love him.
He’s just not Jude.
Forget Jude. Jude’s a player, he’s not the guy that you end up with in the end.
So, why does his voice cause my lungs to seize?
“Congrats, Willow and BJ.” That’s the last thing that I hear, before the door to the Uber slams shut, and the car speeds off into the night.
BJ and I stand staring at each other, my mind fucking spinning from everything that has happened in the last twenty four hours. I did not expect this to happen tonight. I didn’t expect BJ to show up here, and I certainly didn’t think that Jude would be present for it. I have created a mess, and now, I have to dig my way out of it.
I just don’t know how to do that.
15
No Touch Zone (Saints of Love Book 2) Page 10
