by HELEN HARDT
“The kid was dead, though,” Joe said. “I remember that much.”
The image of Justin’s limp, naked body cut into my mind. Had he been dead? Could he have been revived? His skin was…was…
“Damn!”
“What?” Joe asked.
“I can’t remember what his skin looked like. Was it still pink? Or was it gray and pasty? Do you remember, Joe?”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Yeah. Maybe. What if he wasn’t dead?”
“Impossible. I mean… Where did he go, then? He never came back to school. His family must have left Snow Creek.”
“If we knew his last name, we’d have a better chance of figuring this all out.”
“Not if his name was Justin Smith or Jones.”
“I guess it’s up to the Spider now,” I said.
“Do you really think Justin didn’t die?” Joe asked.
I shook my head. “It’s not likely, but we have to consider all angles, no matter how improbable they seem. Ted Morse knows about this forgotten blip on the radar of our lives, and he found out somehow.”
“Yeah, but if— Oh, shit.”
“What?”
Joe placed his hat back on his head. “Wendy, Mathias, Wade, and your father are all out of the picture now. That means if they were holding something over Justin’s or someone else’s head, it’s no longer in effect.”
“And Morse got to them.”
“Or Morse went to them.” Joe shook his head. “This is fucked up. So fucked up.”
“This is our life now, Joe,” I said. “It is what it is.”
He grabbed his cell phone. “Time to coordinate with the Spider.”
That afternoon, Henry, my mother, and I left our little house in town for the last time as inhabitants and moved into the guesthouse behind the main ranch house on Steel Acres. As I’d assumed would happen, my mother insisted I take the master suite. Good thing I hadn’t made love to Marjorie in that room. The smallest room had been set up as Henry’s nursery, and my mother chose another one, leaving the room where Marjorie and I had slept empty.
I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.
If the room were taken, I wouldn’t be able to go in there and remember.
Of course, if my mother or my son were living in the room… Yeah, that would be worse.
We’d chosen to use the furniture already in the house, so only Henry’s crib, our personals, and a few antiques of my mother’s had been moved in.
My mother bustled around the kitchen, Henry on her hip. “It’s stocked,” she said. “I can’t believe it.”
“Believe it,” I said.
“I’ll whip us up some dinner.” She set Henry in his high chair. “You hungry, doll?”
Henry gurgled happily.
“What do you feel like? They left us plenty of beef.”
“I’m not that hungry, Mom. Just make whatever sounds good.”
“Are you feeling okay?”
My mother had no idea what a loaded question that was. “I’m good. Just not hungry.”
I hated lying to my mother.
Hell, I hated lying, period.
How could I possibly be my father’s son? That man had perfected lying to an art.
The worst lie I’d ever told? That horrid note I’d left for Marjorie last night. I’d felt sick writing it, and I still felt sick. Between that and what I was recalling from my childhood, I might never feel physically good again.
Marjorie.
She’d said those three words I longed to hear.
I love you.
She’d said them in the middle of a climax, but so what? I had no doubt she’d meant them.
How I’d longed to return her sentiment, for I did love her.
I loved her so damned much.
And here I was, living on her ranch, and I had to stay as far away from her as I could.
I stepped outside the kitchen onto the patio. The hot tub whirred in the distance—the hot tub where I’d found Marjorie last night.
I grabbed my hair and pulled. How the hell was I supposed to live in this house?
You have to, Bryce. You just have to. You have to do this for your son and your mother. They need you.
If only I’d never initiated that first kiss.
But there’d been no stopping the kiss. There’d been no stopping the energy that sizzled between us.
Which was why—
Fuck.
Marjorie.
She was walking toward the guesthouse.
I went inside quickly, still watching her from the window of the French doors. When she was about a hundred yards away, she turned abruptly and headed back toward the main house.
Maybe she’d just been out on a stroll.
Or maybe she’d been coming to me and then changed her mind.
I thought again of the cruel words I’d written to her after our last night together. I didn’t mean any of them, but I was determined to keep her away from me.
I was poison.
I couldn’t infect her.
I was nothing but emptiness, and though she filled me beyond my wildest dreams, I was still nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Talon had invited the three of us to dinner this evening to celebrate our move into the guesthouse, but I’d turned him down. I had to keep this business. Solely business. Eating dinner with Marjorie Steel would be too difficult. Too heart-wrenching.
She loved me. And God, if she truly loved me, my words had cut into her as much as writing them had cut into me.
I was a fucking piece of shit.
I thought about getting a drink, but alcohol wouldn’t help me. Nothing would. Nothing ever would.
When you were nothing, the only constant in your life was…nothing.
Chapter Six
Marjorie
I hadn’t meant to walk to the guesthouse. I’d been outside with Donny and the pups, and my feet just started moving. Bryce had seen me and gone quickly inside, so I’d turned around.
He didn’t want to see me.
He’d meant the words he’d so callously written.
But it didn’t make sense. Our lovemaking could not have been one-sided. It just couldn’t have been.
Give him space.
Mel’s words echoed inside my head.
Walking to his home wasn’t giving him space.
I went back inside to begin dinner. Donny would be clamoring for his supper before long. Dale was in his room, as usual, but had recovered somewhat from his scare on the playground at school a few days earlier.
I’d just put some chicken breasts under the broiler when Talon walked into the kitchen.
“Hey, Sis.”
“Hey, yourself. Good day?”
“Decent. Hard to concentrate, though, with all this other stuff happening. How’re Jade and the boys?”
“Jade’s in the bedroom. She said she’ll be in for dinner. Donny’s outside, and Dale’s in his room.”
Talon shook his head. “I worry about that boy.”
“I do too. Maybe it’ll get better after the adoption.”
“It’s been postponed until next week,” Talon said.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I got a call today. The judge had an emergency.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “And I’m not sure it will help. The kid needs time more than anything.”
I simply nodded. If anyone knew what Dale needed, Talon did. He’d been through much of the same.
He continued, “You know, whatever Dale went through, it was worse than what I endured. I can’t imagine watching my little brother suffer the same. It would have made it a thousand times harder.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Talon so rarely mentioned anything specific about his time in captivity. I felt like a complete dolt for remaining silent.
“I’ll go check on him.” Talon left the kitchen.
Good job, Marj. Here I was
concerned about a stupid note from Bryce, and the rest of my family was dealing with major abuse trauma.
I was in love with a man who could never love me back. So what? I’d taken up Melanie’s valuable time today when she could have been helping people with real problems.
Jade was right. I needed to get back in the game. She didn’t know about the cutting, but I’d stopped myself from doing it again after Bryce left me that hideous note. That had to mean something, right? Maybe I was okay.
Not okay exactly, but at least better. Good enough to date. I wouldn’t fall in love, because I was already in love. Dating didn’t have to lead to love. I was dead set against dating websites, so I’d have to do this the old-fashioned way. Back to the gym tomorrow, and I’d have a look around.
I removed the broiled chicken from the oven and seasoned it. By the time I was ready to call everyone for dinner, my phone buzzed. Not a number I recognized.
“Hello?”
“I’m looking for Marjorie Steel.”
“You found her. Who is this, please?”
“This is Barry Wilson from Newhaven Center, returning your call.”
“I don’t recognize this number.”
“Sorry. The center gave me your message, and I’m returning it from my personal cell. I wanted to wait until I got off work.”
“Oh. Sure.”
“What can I help you with?”
“I’m Daphne Steel’s daughter, and I understand you were one of the nurses assigned to her a few days ago.”
“I was.”
“She mentioned that a gray-haired man had visited her. Do you recall?”
“Any visitor would be on the log.”
“I’ve already checked the log, and no one is listed. And I know what you’re going to say. My mother is mentally ill and probably made it up. Only it’s not like her to make things up that aren’t already in her head.”
“I understand. I’d never assume she made anything up.”
“Thank you. The other nurse in her wing that day wasn’t quite as…”
He chuckled. “Lori. Yeah. She’s a great nurse, but she’s a little more seasoned, and she can be blunt.”
“Got it. Anyway, do you remember seeing any strange men in the wing that day?”
He paused a moment. “I do, actually. I just assumed the person had logged in and was allowed to be there. I didn’t specifically see anyone in Daphne’s room, but I did see a man outside her room. He was only there a few seconds.”
“So he could have been coming or going?”
“Right, or he could have been there for another patient.”
“Then he’d still show up on the log, just not as a visitor to my mother.”
“He should.”
“You don’t sound overly convinced.”
“Let’s just say it wouldn’t be the first time someone got through without signing in.”
“Are you serious? They’re rabid about that log. I have to sign in every time I see my mother, and they all know me now.”
He paused again. Then, “Some days are busier than others, and the front desk gets overwhelmed.”
His tone didn’t convince me. “Barry, this is serious.”
“I’m being serious. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Yeah, you should have. My mother is a sick woman, as you know. My brothers and I don’t want her to have unauthorized visitors.”
“Like I said, I didn’t see the guy go into her room.”
“Can you describe him?”
“He was tall.”
“Okay. Was his hair short? Long? Thick? Thin? Balding?”
“I don’t know. I saw him by your mother’s door for a minute at most, and I didn’t really think anything of it.”
“Had you ever seen him at the center before?”
“Hard to say. We get a lot of people some days.”
I sighed. This wasn’t helpful at all. “Did he speak to you?”
Another pause. “No. He didn’t.”
Damn. I wished I could see Barry’s face. I got the distinct impression he was lying. I could easily set Talon and Joe on him. They could intimidate anyone into truthfulness.
“What about his clothes? Do you recall what he was wearing?”
“Not really. He was dressed normally.”
“Jeans? A suit?”
“I really don’t remember, Ms. Steel.”
“All right. Let’s attack this from another angle. What time did you see him?”
“I didn’t check my watch, but it was shortly before I left for the day. I leave at four p.m.”
“Okay. That’s helpful. You say he was dressed normally. Can you elaborate?”
“How can I elaborate? If he’d been wearing bright purple, I’d have noticed. I didn’t notice his clothes.”
“And you really can’t remember the length of his hair?”
“Nondescript. I would have remembered if he’d had really long hair, you know?”
“How tall was he?”
“Tall. Taller than me.”
“Anything else?”
“Not that I can think of. I’m sorry I’m not more help.”
“That’s okay,” I said sweetly. Best not to burn this bridge. “If I have more questions, I’ll call you.”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Thanks for your help.”
“You’re welcome.”
Yeah, I was definitely bringing Joe and Talon in on this. I began to text them when the phone buzzed again.
“Hello?”
“Marjorie, hello. Evelyn Simpson.”
My heart dropped. Why was Bryce’s mother calling me? “Hi, Evelyn.”
“I’m so sorry to bother you, but Bryce went out, and can you believe this? We’re out of diapers. I need to run into town and get some. I was sure I had another whole box, but they seem to have gotten lost in the move. Anyway, could you possibly come over and keep an eye on Henry while I’m gone? He’s been fussy all day, and I don’t want to drag him into town. He’s cutting another tooth, poor thing.”
Bryce had gone out. It was dinnertime, after all. Who had he gone out with?
None of my business.
None of my fucking business.
“I’m happy to, but I’m just putting dinner on the table for Talon, Jade, and the boys.”
“Oh, goodness. I don’t want to interrupt your dinner.”
“No worries about that. I’m not hungry anyway.” That was the God’s honest truth. After Bryce’s note, I might never eat again.
“You’re welcome to anything here. The place is stocked.” She chuckled, which sounded a bit forced. “With everything except diapers, that is.”
“Thank you, but I’m fine. Give me about fifteen minutes. I’ll get them fed, and then I’ll walk over to the guesthouse.”
“You’re a gem, Marjorie.”
“Call me Marj. Everyone does. I’ll see you in a few.”
“Thank you. Bye.”
My heart sped as I got dinner on the table. Once everyone was seated, I excused myself.
“You’re not eating?” Jade asked.
“Not hungry right now. I’ll eat later.” I sped out the front door so no one would ask questions about why I was going to the guesthouse. I quickly walked around the sprawling ranch house to the pathway in back.
Bryce wasn’t home. If he had been, Evelyn wouldn’t need me. So why was my heart pounding? Evelyn would only be gone an hour or so. Still, setting foot in what was now Bryce’s home gave me the chills—in both a good and a bad way.
I’d been in this house early this morning.
I’d read that horrible note here. In this house.
And now I was going back.
For Evelyn. For Henry. After all, a baby needed diapers.
Not for Bryce.
Not for Bryce at all. He wasn’t even there.
I knocked softly on the front door.
“Hi, Marj,” Evelyn said when she opened the door. “I can’t thank you en
ough for this. Henry adores you, and since you’re so close now—”
“It’s no problem,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m happy to help with Henry anytime.” I meant it. Bryce’s son was such a sweetie.
“I can’t believe the diapers disappeared.” She sighed. “This move happened so quickly, and the movers took care of everything. At least I thought they had.”
“Where’s Henry?”
“In the kitchen in his high chair. He just finished his supper. Let’s hope he doesn’t start fussing again. I won’t be long.” She dodged past me and out the door.
I hurried into the kitchen. Henry wasn’t fussing, but he didn’t smile at me either. Usually the kid was all happiness.
“Hey, sweetie. Let’s get that face cleaned up, and then we’ll find something fun to do. Would you like that?” I helped myself to a clean cloth out of a kitchen drawer, wet it with warm water, and cleaned Henry’s adorable lips and cheeks. “That’s better, huh?” I lifted him out of his chair and walked toward the bedrooms.
My skin tingled when I walked past the room where Bryce and I had made love. I peeked inside. That hadn’t become the nursery, thank God. In fact, it appeared just as it had, nothing new. Evelyn had taken a different room.
The nursery was the next room, all white walls with no nursery décor. Only a crib, changing table, a rocking chair, a bookshelf, and a big toy box. I eyed the bookshelf. “How about Goodnight, Moon? That’s always a good one.” I grabbed the book and sat down in the rocker, settling Henry into my lap.
So much for not fussing. Henry couldn’t get comfortable. I tried several different positions, but nothing worked. Finally I gave up on the book. I opened Henry’s small mouth and took a look. Indeed, a lateral incisor was erupting into Henry’s sore gums. Poor little guy. Something cold would help. With Henry still on my hip, I rooted through the toy box until I found some plastic teething keys. We walked to the kitchen, where I washed them with soapy water and then opened the freezer.
“Oh, Evelyn, bless you!” Another teething ring sat on the top shelf of the freezer. I replaced it with the keys and held the already cold ring against Henry’s gums. He resisted at first, but once the ring warmed a little, he sucked at it gladly.
“How about that story now?” I said, walking out of the kitchen.
