by HELEN HARDT
Think, Bryce, think.
I closed my eyes again, hoping for more illumination. More memories. More recall.
Come on, I urged silently.
No use. I opened my eyes. I couldn’t make it happen. But there was information buried in my subconscious. I was sure of it.
Joe had confided in me that Melanie’s guided hypnosis had helped Talon a lot when he was dealing with his issues. I could ask for her help.
Except that would require telling her why I needed it, and she’d be there for the sessions, witness to whatever came out. Then she’d know Joe wasn’t telling her something.
Nope. I couldn’t come between my best friend and his wife. I wouldn’t. I might not be able to have a relationship right now, but Joe deserved his happiness.
I couldn’t help being a bit envious, though.
How had Justin Valente disappeared into thin air? He’d died, obviously, at my brute father’s hand, but how had the entire memory of him in Snow Creek simply vanished?
My father was a lawyer then. He hadn’t become mayor until much later. He had money. Money from his successful law practice and of course dirty money from his other life. But money didn’t matter. He couldn’t have erased the memories of a whole town. It wasn’t possible.
Justin had been a quiet kid, an easy target for Taylor Johns and his cronies. That was the only thing memorable about him. If he hadn’t been bullied, he’d have been easy to forget.
Perhaps he was easy to forget anyway.
We were all around nine years old. Our attention spans were hardly mature. Still, we were old enough to have memories.
Who else had been in our class that year? I hadn’t kept in touch with anyone after school other than Joe, but surely some of them still lived in town. Another reason we needed that class information from the Spider.
Just thinking the name made me cringe a little. Then I laughed. The Spider was a hacker who didn’t allow anyone to see his face. His name conjured images of a big man dressed in black, but in reality, he was probably a squirrelly computer geek who played video games when he wasn’t hacking into high-profile systems.
I’d never know.
I was feeling a little warm, so I got out of the tub, wrapped a large bath towel around my shoulders, and went back into the house through the kitchen.
My mom was mopping the floor. “Hey! You’re tracking in water.”
“Sorry, Mom.” Then, “Hey, do you remember anyone from my old fourth-grade class?”
“Your fourth-grade class? Where did that come from?”
“I was just wondering. You used to volunteer in the classroom. I thought you might remember who was there.”
“Other than Jonah Steel, I have no idea. But I have an album of your old class photos around somewhere. I’m sure it’s in one of the boxes sitting downstairs in the basement. I have no idea when I’m going to get through all of that stuff. Especially if I go on vacation.”
“You decided to go?”
“It’s not the best thing, but I would like to get away. I can’t deny that. Even though we’re out of the house now, I still feel the ghosts of the past.”
“I understand.” Boy, did I ever. The ghost of my father would haunt me until the day I died, it seemed.
“Henry would love the beach,” she continued.
“He would. I’d come along if I could, but I think it’s a little early to ask the Steels for a vacation.”
“Of course it is. They’ve been so generous to us.”
“Do you want me to make the arrangements?”
“I’m perfectly capable of doing that. I called Vicky this morning, and she’s thrilled to have us.”
“Good. I’ll miss you both, but it’s the best for everyone.”
She nodded. “You’re probably right.”
She had no idea how right I was.
Chapter Eighteen
Marjorie
Weekends were difficult. Dale and Donny didn’t have school to keep them occupied, and Dale was usually moodier. Donny kept busy with the dogs, but sometimes he became restless.
Talon was good at keeping them occupied, but today he was busier than usual, meeting with Joe and Ryan to get everything up to speed for Bryce to begin his new position the next day.
The three of them were in Talon’s office, and Ruby, Mel, and Jade were in the family room having a light lunch I’d prepared for them.
I’d decided not to join them for one reason and one reason only.
I couldn’t face Mel. Not after I’d succumbed and cut myself. I’d tell her eventually. I had to. I needed her help. But I feared if she saw me, she’d see it written all over my face, and I couldn’t risk that in front of Jade and Ruby.
Especially Jade. This was the one secret I kept from her.
I couldn’t tell her. She’d be so disappointed in me, and I couldn’t deal with that. Her friendship and respect meant everything to me.
Bryce was supposed to come by in an hour or so to talk with the guys, so I needed to make myself scarce. I could go into town and hit the gym—one of the few places open on Sundays in a small town—or I could drive to the city and do some shopping.
Or I could hole up in my room with a book.
Winner. I didn’t feel like leaving the house.
I shouldn’t have to. It was my home too. Jade and Talon reminded me of that on a daily basis.
But only Jade knew why I had to be scarce when Bryce was around.
Things like this were supposed to get easier, but that was a big crock of crap. I wanted Bryce more than ever, loved him more than ever, needed him more than ever.
When? Just when did it actually become easier?
I finished clearing the kitchen and looked down into the family room.
“Come join us, Marj,” Jade said.
“Thanks, but I can’t. I’ve got some stuff to do.”
“It’s Sunday,” Melanie said. “What could you possibly have to do that can’t wait until tomorrow?”
Avoiding Bryce. Nope, couldn’t say that.
“I want to catch up on some reading,” I lied.
“Oh? What are you reading?” Ruby asked. “I’ve been looking for a new novel to start.”
Okay. Caught in a big-time lie. I wasn’t reading a book. I’d been planning to stalk the bookshelves in the library next to Talon’s office and find something. Or not. Maybe I just wanted to go to my room and wallow in my loneliness.
Yeah. That sounded good.
“I’m starting something new,” I said. “I’ll let you know if it’s any good.”
“Great,” Ruby said. “I’d appreciate that. I have so little time to read anymore. I miss it.”
I’d had no idea Ruby was an avid reader. She and I weren’t as close as Melanie and I were, but that was only because Mel was my therapist.
Now I had to go to the library. I walked past Talon’s office and into the bedroom my father had converted to a library long ago. He had a great collection. Classics, mostly, and a lot of nonfiction about the ranching business. Over the years, though, we’d all added to it, and we had a good amount of commercial fiction as well.
Nothing screamed out at me. I definitely wasn’t in the mood for a classic. They were slow and often dull. Moby Dick, anyone? A few romance novels sat on the shelf. Nope. Not in the mood for that, either. Happy endings? If I couldn’t have my own happy ending with the man I loved, I didn’t particularly want to read about anyone else’s.
Ranching and farming? God, no. I truly was a silent partner here. I just wasn’t interested.
I sighed. Nothing. I didn’t want to read. I didn’t want to go to town. I didn’t want to go shopping.
I didn’t want to do anything.
Was this what depression felt like? Losing interest in the things that usually made you happy? Even cooking had become a chore. I no longer pored over my recipe books to try new things for dinner. Last night we’d had pot roast and potatoes with winter vegetables. Ho-hum.
I sat
down in one of the comfortable wingback chairs. Still, I perused the shelves.
Nothing.
Nothing stood out.
I rose and walked to the shelves, determined to take the first book I found that sounded remotely interesting.
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. A classic, yes, but by an author who wasn’t more intent on making his word-count than he was on telling a good story. That would work.
I grabbed the book and walked out of the library—
And met the blue gaze of Bryce Simpson.
Of all the…
I walked past him, determined to ignore him, but—
He grabbed my arm.
“Hey!” I said.
“You’re going to ignore me?”
“It’s what you want, isn’t it? And you’d better lower your voice. My brothers are right there in the office.”
He stood silently for a minute, and then he eyed my book. “Reading?”
“I thought it would be nice for a lazy Sunday afternoon.” I held up the book.
And he turned white.
Of course. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. A man who lived a double life with two distinct personalities.
Just like Bryce’s father.
“Have you read it?” I asked.
“A long time ago.”
“I wasn’t…”
“I know. It’s okay. I should read it again.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I can’t just make the fact that he existed disappear, and I can’t make everything that reminds me of him disappear.”
I nodded. “Enjoy your meeting. Excuse me.”
“Marj?”
I looked over my shoulder. “What?”
“I…uh…” Then he shook his head. “Nothing.” He knocked on the door of the office.
“Bryce?” Joe’s voice.
“Yeah.”
“Come on in.”
He walked inside and closed the door. I stood in the hall for a minute, thinking of listening in, but they’d be talking business. Bryce would certainly not be talking about me.
I took the book and went to my bedroom.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Tom Simpson wasn’t the only one. Bryce had two personalities. One where he wanted me, and one where he didn’t.
Nothing I could do.
Chapter Nineteen
Bryce
The meeting went nearly until dinnertime. “You want to stay?” Talon asked. “Joe and Ryan are staying. We’re having grilled rib eye steaks. Jade’s feeling better, so she and I are making dinner. Marj is getting the night off.”
“She deserves it,” Ryan said.
“I agree. She’s been great. She was going to stay until Felicia returned, but I just got a call from her this morning. She’s not coming back.”
“Oh?” I said.
“Nope. She’s happy being back with her family, and she already has a new job. I guess I’ll be interviewing for a new housekeeper and cook. Probably a nanny too. We’ll need someone to look after the boys and the baby once Jade goes back to work.”
“Melanie and I just lined up a part-time nanny for the new baby,” Joe said. “She’s taking a part-time schedule after the baby comes.”
“Jade and I haven’t discussed it,” Talon said, “but if she stays on as city attorney, that’s a full-time job.”
“She might want to stay home with the kids,” Joe said. “Some women do.”
“She might. We’ll see. But we definitely need a housekeeper and cook. Jade’s repertoire is grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches, and I can’t even boil water.”
“So Marj is moving out?” I asked.
“She can stay here as long as she wants,” Talon said. “She’s determined to stay until the baby’s born, and Jade needs her for that. But the guys and I want her to go to Paris to study cooking.”
I cleared my throat as my heart fell into my gut. “Paris?”
“Yeah. She was excited about it before…”
He didn’t have to finish the sentence. We all knew what he was talking about. Before the mess we were still all in. Before my father had shown his true colors. Before we’d found out Brad Steel was alive. Before he’d been killed by his lover, Wendy Madigan, who also almost killed her own son, Ryan.
Before I had fallen in love with the youngest Steel.
Marj.
Marj couldn’t go to Paris.
She had to stay here. On the ranch.
With me.
Only she couldn’t.
If she went to Paris, perhaps I could forget her. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.
But absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Stupid clichés.
“She won’t leave until Jade has the baby,” Talon continued. “She’s made that clear.”
That gave me about five months.
Five months of what? Pining for her? Trying to stay away from her? Ignoring her?
“Maybe she should go now,” I said, the words hurting my heart. “Once you hire a housekeeper.”
“Not doable. She absolutely won’t leave until Jade has the baby,” Talon said. “They’re best friends, as close as you and Joe are.”
I nodded. What could I say? I wanted to see the birth of Joe’s child as much as Marj wanted to see the birth of Jade’s.
“Are we done here? I have to make a phone call.” I nodded slightly to Joe.
“I think so,” Joe said. “Anything else, guys?”
Ryan and Talon both shook their heads.
“I have a call to make too.” Joe stood and followed me out of the office and out of the house.
“What’s up?” he asked me once we were outside.
“I got another call,” I said. “Some unidentified number, and a male voice said, ‘I’m watching.’”
“Shit.” Joe spat on the ground, which wasn’t like him. “Did you do a search for the number?”
“Not yet. But it’s still on my phone.” I grabbed my phone and pulled up the relevant call. “I’ll text it to you.”
“No, don’t. We still don’t know whether our phones are somehow being monitored. Just let me see it.”
I handed the phone to Joe, and he wrote it down on a small pad of paper he pulled out of his pocket. “Man, this takes me back to elementary school days, before we did everything on computers. I haven’t used handwriting so much in twenty-five years at least.”
“That reminds me,” I said. “I remembered Justin’s last name. Valente.”
He arched his eyebrows. “I’ll be damned. That’s it. How did you remember?”
“It came to me in the hot tub. No lie.”
“Maybe you should take a soak more often.”
“It was a fluke. I was trying to relax, and I kind of drifted into… I don’t know. It wasn’t sleep exactly.”
“Self-hypnosis,” Joe said. “Melanie told me how that happens.”
“Yeah? Well, I tried to duplicate it, but I couldn’t. I was thinking…”
“What?”
“Melanie used guided hypnosis to help Talon recover memories. Do you think—”
“No,” Joe said adamantly. “We have to keep Melanie out of this. I hate lying to her, but this has to remain between the two of us.”
“Yeah, I get that. What if I saw someone else? Another therapist?”
“No,” he said again.
“But the memories are there, Joe. I know they are. I just can’t access them. It’s frustrating as hell.”
“I get it. I have the same thing going on. But we’re on our own with this. It’s not safe to go talking to people—not until we know what we’re dealing with.”
“We’re innocent, Joe. You and I both know that.”
“Yeah, but others may not.”
“A nine-year-old can’t be held responsible for anything, especially when we didn’t do anything.”
“Bryce, you know the kind of people we’re dealing with. They don’t play by the rules, and they have acce
ss to loads of cash. Not a great combination.”
“I know. It’s just—”
“I get it. Believe me. I do. But the Spider is on it. He should have something soon, especially now that we have a last name. He can get an address.”
“In the meantime, do you have any old school photos? Maybe we can find someone who remembers Justin.”
“Anything we have would be in the crawl space of the main house. That’s where we found my mother’s and Marj’s original birth certificates, the ones that had been tampered with. But seriously, if we don’t remember Justin, who else would? He wasn’t overly memorable.”
“I don’t know. It’s like he just fell off the face of the earth. No one ever mentioned him again.”
“I know. It’s suspicious.” He rubbed his chin. “When did the kids start going missing?”
“Good question.”
“I have a file of news clippings about the disappearances. I’ll find it, but Bryce, it might be hard for you to look at. I mean, there’s one about…”
“Luke,” I said quietly.
My cousin and I hadn’t been close. He was a small kid, about three years my junior. I was the strong and athletic type. Luke? He was good prey.
Just like Justin Valente had been.
My fucking father. Luke had been his nephew! Nephew by marriage, but still.
Guilt pummeled me like pounding fists. Tom Simpson had left me alone. He’d been a good father. He’d taught me everything.
Everything.
I cleared my throat. “I can’t hide from the past, Joe, any more than you can. We need to look at those clippings. My mom says she has my old school photos in an album somewhere. I’m sure it’s in one of the million boxes that were brought over from the old house. I guess I’ll get looking.”
“I will too. Marj and Jade looked through some of the boxes in the crawl space already. Jade probably won’t be up for it, but Marj can help me look for old school pics.”
“What will you tell her?”
“That I’m looking for old school pictures. Maybe we have a reunion coming up or something.”
“Our twentieth,” I said. “Good ruse. Except that neither of us has ever had any interest in class reunions before now.”
