by HELEN HARDT
“Bryce, we have—”
“This is over. I… I didn’t mean anything I said. You should go to Paris. I want you to go.”
“Oh, no. You’re not going there again. You need some paper? Want to write me another note? Why not send an emotionless text? That’s easier these days. Do what you want. Say what you want. I don’t believe a fucking word of it now.”
“Don’t you see? I can’t protect you.”
“Who says I need protection? Exactly what are you talking about, Bryce?”
“I made a prom—”
“That ship has sailed. I’m in this now. If you think my safety’s at stake, I need to know what’s going on.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Bryce
She was right.
She was in this now, and all because I’d brought her here. Because I’d wanted her so badly and had nowhere else to go. Because I couldn’t control my need and desire—my love—for this woman.
So I’d brought her to this place—this place where I’d had so many happy memories, memories that were now stained by my father’s sickness.
Only to find more secrets—more secrets I now had to deal with.
“I’m serious,” she said. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Was this place bugged? I hadn’t given that possibility a thought when I’d come here with Marjorie. Joe and I were so careful about everywhere we went, yet I’d been completely blinded by lust. This cabin had been my father’s, so of course the FBI would be watching it.
And if they were watching it, they would have searched it.
And if they’d searched it, they’d have found…
Something wasn’t adding up.
Ted Morse was right. This was far from over.
“Bryce, come on,” she said again.
“Joe will kill me.”
“My brother? My brother’s in this? You need to be straight with me. Now.”
How could I? How could I bring her goodness and light into this dark world that had become my existence?
Thank God my mom and Henry would be safe in Florida. Now, if I could convince Marj to keep her plans to go to Paris, she’d be safe as well. The Steel ranch without Marj would be like a Colorado day without sunlight, but her safety was more important than anything.
I cleared my throat. “When are you leaving again?”
“For Paris? You just spent an hour convincing me not to go.”
“I changed my mind.”
“This is a crock,” she said. “You’re going to level with me. Right. Now.”
I said nothing.
“Fine. I’ll go to Joe, then. He’ll tell me.”
“No!” If she went to Joe, he’d know I let something slip. He’d also know about Marj and me.
“Sorry.” She stood. “I’m out of here.”
“Do you even know where we are?”
She plunked back down on the bed. “Fine. You’re in charge, but you still owe me an explanation. Quite frankly, you’re scaring the hell out of me. What exactly are you and Joe involved in?”
I sighed. “More than you can imagine.”
She took my hand and pulled me onto the bed to sit beside her. “Start talking. I’m here for you.”
Where to start? How could I put memories that had just resurfaced into words? And I’d be violating Joe’s trust.
Should I call him first? Did I even have service out here?
“If I tell you,” I said, “you have to promise never to tell another living soul. Especially not Joe.”
“I can’t do that. If you tell me, you have to tell Joe that you did. And what if I feel you’re in danger or something? I can’t promise not to say anything.”
“Then I can’t tell you.”
“Not an option. I’m in this now.”
He nodded, his brow wrinkled. “Tell you what. I’ll make you a deal.”
“What kind of deal?”
“I’ll tell you, in confidence, what’s going on with Joe and me, and you tell me about that cut on your leg.”
She bit her bottom lip.
Even in the darkness of the cabin, she was beautiful and enticing. Even when she was troubled. Especially when she was troubled. All I wanted to do was take away everything hurting her and banish it so she’d never be unhappy again.
Finally, she cleared her throat softly. “Deal.”
“You go first,” I said.
“We’ll go in shifts,” she said. “You’re right. The wound is self-inflicted. Now…you.”
I couldn’t fault the fairness of her idea. “Something happened about thirty years ago, while Joe and I were camping with my dad. Something we’d both forgotten until recently.”
“Oh my God!” She clamped her hand to her mouth. “He didn’t—”
“No, no, no. Joe and I are fine. He didn’t do anything to us.”
“Thank God.” She rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what I’d do. This has all been so awful.”
“Honey, you weren’t born yet when this happened, and I promise it has nothing to do with you.”
“I wasn’t born yet when Talon was taken. Rather, I was born while he was gone, and—”
“Look.” I gripped her shoulders. “If this is too much for you, trust me. You’re safer not knowing.”
She shook her head vehemently. “No. I’m in this now. Tell me.”
“You owe me a sentence first.”
“Are you kidding me? What you’re hiding is so much bigger than me cutting myself, Bryce. I fucked up. I let the guilt get to me. Talon was taken because my mother got pregnant with me. No me, no Talon being taken. It’s that simple. And yeah, I had issues. I tormented myself to the point where I needed a release, and physical pain gave me that. I only cut myself in one place, and I thought I had it under control until…”
Her gaze shifted away from me.
The words she didn’t say echoed around me as clear as if she’d uttered them.
Until you, Bryce.
I’d driven her to this.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s not you. It’s me. I’m responsible for my own actions, no matter how much pain I’m in. Melanie taught me that.”
“Melanie.”
“She’s the only person who knows.”
“Not Jade.”
“Only Mel. And now you.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
“I know it is. Please give me the same benefit of the doubt. Anything you tell me is safe with me.”
“I just hate to think of you hurting yourself.”
“Is it really anything worse than what you’ve done to yourself? You wallow in the guilt about your father when you had nothing to do with anything he did.”
“It’s not that,” I said truthfully.
“What is it, then?”
“It’s that…he spared me. He never touched me. I remember him as”—I winced before saying the words—“a good father.”
“Is that so horrible?”
“Of course it is! He was a monster. A demon. He raped and murdered children. He tortured your brother. He killed my cousin. He wasn’t human.”
“He was a sick man.”
“He was so far beyond a sick man, Marj. You and I both know that.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“I never physically injured myself.”
“I don’t recommend it.”
“I never even thought about it. Maybe it would help.”
“For God’s sake, Bryce. Self-mutilation isn’t the answer. Please don’t go there.”
“You did, and you said it helped.”
“It only transferred the pain. Pain is pain.”
I squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry you were in that much pain.”
“I’m sorry you were too. Still are. Let me help. Let me take some of the burden from you. Please.”
I’m sorry, Joe. I’m sorry.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room, out of the cabin.
<
br /> Then words tumbled from my mouth.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Marjorie
I sat, numb. Bryce’s voice almost became monotone, as if it were coming from somewhere in the woods. Was he throwing his voice? No. It was both of us. The words were hard for him to say, and they were equally hard for me to hear.
A young boy. A friend. Justin had been his name. Justin Valente.
“You think your father drugged you?”
“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” Bryce said. “And if we know anything, we know Tom Simpson was capable of far worse.”
“Capable of drugging his own son?”
“How else does this make sense? How could Joe and I nearly forget that a kid died on our watch?”
“It wasn’t your watch. You were children. You weren’t responsible.”
He shook his head. “Still…”
“I know.”
How well I knew. I was merely an embryo when Talon was taken, and still I felt responsible. It was silly but no less real.
“Then he just seemed to disappear. No one talked about him. His family moved away. It’s creepy.”
Creepy was too tame of a word, but I understood what Bryce meant.
“You and Joe have been keeping this to yourselves all this time?”
“Yeah. We don’t talk anywhere that might be bugged. That’s why I brought you outside.”
“But the cabin…”
“I know. It’s unlikely, especially since no one found the stuff hidden in the bedroom, but Joe and I aren’t taking any chances. That’s why I need your promise that this stays between us.”
“You have to tell Joe that you told me.”
“I can’t. Then he’ll know…”
“That you and I are…”
What were we? I paused, hoping he’d fill in the words.
He didn’t.
“We’ve slept together,” I said as nonchalantly as I could. “So what?”
“You’re his little sister.”
“Who used to have pink and yellow unicorns on the walls of her room. We’ve been through that, Bryce.”
“Yeah, but he can’t know that I… You know… Without…”
“You’re making no sense at all.”
“That I fucked you, Marj. That we fucked without any commitment.”
“You’re not the first man I fucked without a commitment.” Though his words hurt. After all this time, I still wanted a commitment from him. I loved him so much.
“It’s not even that. It’s that…”
“For God’s sake, spit it out!”
I was immediately sorry for my harshness.
Then again, I wasn’t. I felt for what Bryce and Joe had rediscovered, but how much was I supposed to take?
He raked his fingers through his disheveled blond hair. “I love you, goddamnit! I love you, Marjorie Steel. I love you with everything I am!”
I froze, my skin going numb while my heart thundered. “I know,” I said softly.
“You’re everything to me. Every fucking thing.”
Then his lips were on mine, and I opened for him. The kiss was so powerful and so full of love.
Our tongues twirled together in perfect harmony like the strings of a violin and then clashed like cymbals.
My nipples tightened and my pussy pulsed.
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
He broke the kiss and gazed into my eyes, his own eyes burning. “Inside. Now.”
I wasn’t about to argue as he pulled me back inside. We didn’t make it to the bedroom. We ditched our clothes in the entryway, and then he lifted me, pushing my back against the rough wall. I might get a splinter in my back, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was Bryce inside me, filling me, leaving every last crevice of emptiness a distant memory.
Then he was inside me, pumping, his lips on mine.
Perfection. All perfection.
My clit rubbed against his rough pubic hair, and soon an orgasm was imminent. I groaned into his mouth as the tickle in my pussy intensified, shooting out to my limbs, stars exploding around me. Still we kissed, and his groan told me he knew I was coming.
Coming for him.
He thrust again, again, again…
Once more…
Until—
He embedded himself so deeply inside me, we became one.
Every pulse of his cock radiated through my body, my heart.
My very soul.
Finally we broke our kiss, both of us panting, and he released me. My feet hit the floor, and I melted against him, his chest slick with perspiration.
“My God,” he rasped.
I nodded into his chest.
“I love you so fucking much.” He kissed the top of my head.
“I love you too, Bryce. Always.”
He pulled away slightly and met my gaze. “I was so afraid. I…still am.”
“It’s okay.”
“But it’s not. You deserve a whole man.”
“You are a whole man, Bryce.”
“I don’t feel whole.”
I couldn’t help a short laugh. “Who among us does? Do you think I’d have cut myself if I felt whole?”
“But—”
I pressed my fingers against his lips. “Stop. I’m not making light of anything either of us has been through. But you are as whole as anyone else is. Believe it. I do.”
“I have so many other responsibilities. Henry. My mom.”
“Who says I’m going to be your responsibility?”
“I do. I want you to be. I want to take care of you.”
“I love you for that. I do. But I’m not looking for someone to take care of me. If we’re in a relationship, we’re partners. We’ll have equal responsibility to care for each other. That’s how it works.”
“How do you know so much about relationships?”
Good question. I’d had very few in my life. “Honestly? From my parents, I think.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I know they weren’t perfect. I hated my father for lying to us, but look how he took care of my mother, always did what was best for her. And if she’d been able to, she’d have cared for him as well. I truly believe it.”
“I wish I’d had that kind of example.”
“You did,” I said, “or you wouldn’t feel so strongly about not getting into a relationship before you’re ready.”
He cocked his head. “You’re right, but that’s exactly what I’m fighting. Those good memories of my father. They’re killing me.”
“It’s okay to have good memories of a bad person.”
“No, it’s not. It can’t be.”
“But it is. That’s something else I learned from Melanie. I wanted to hate my father, but he was a good father to me until he”—air quotes—“died when I was eighteen. I was his baby girl. I have no memories at all of my mother, so everything I learned in life I learned from him. Well, him and my brothers. You don’t have to forget the good stuff just because there’s bad stuff.”
“You’re so strong.”
“No stronger than anyone else. I’ve obviously had my own issues.” I pointed to the scar on my thigh.
He touched it gently. “Does it hurt?”
“No. Not anymore.”
“Can you promise me you’ll never hurt yourself again?”
I swallowed, trying to think of the right words to say. They didn’t come.
“Please, sweetheart? I can’t stand the thought of you harming yourself in any way.”
“I’ll try,” I said. “I’ve made that promise to myself before, only to break it. I made the promise to Mel, only to break it. I don’t want to ever break a promise to you.”
“Then don’t.”
“Which is why I can’t make that promise. I will try. That’s the best I can do.”
He nodded. “That’s good enough. For now.”
I touched his cheek, his stubble scraping against my smooth fingertips. “I love you.”
>
He smiled. “I love you too. I’ve wanted to say that so many times.”
“Have you?”
He nodded. “Writing you that letter was torture. Pure torture.”
“Good. Because it was pure torture to read it. Believe me.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I forgive you.”
“Do you? Really?”
I nodded. “Really.”
He looked around. “I really want to make love to you. Slowly and completely. But I don’t want to do it here. Not in either of those bedrooms, and not in this room either. It has to be perfect, and anything in this old cabin, where God only knows what went on, won’t be perfect.”
“The place doesn’t matter, Bryce.”
“It does to me.”
His eyes held such torment that I wanted to cradle him like a child and tell him everything would be all right.
But everything wasn’t all right.
We loved each other. We were going to do this.
But everything was far from all right.
Bryce had confided in me. Someone was watching him.
I flashed back to the night Jade and I had met with Colin at the main house. His obscure words.
I’m sorry for what I did. For what I allowed to happen. And for what’s to come.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Bryce
She was in it now. I’d brought Marjorie Steel into the ugliness of my life. I’d broken my promise to Joe. I’d told our secret, and he hadn’t even told his own wife.
I hoped I hadn’t just ended a lifetime friendship. Joe meant so much to me, and now that I was with his sister, we might be family someday.
Wow. Family. I could marry this woman. Have more kids with her, brothers and sisters for Henry.
I was getting ahead of myself, but the thought filled me with something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Joy.
“We can go,” she said. “I understand. This place kind of gives me the creeps.”
I grabbed my jeans and began to dress, and she followed suit.
“What do you want to do with the stuff we found under the floor?”
“Put it in the trunk of my car for now.” The trunk of the car that had been my father’s. Why hadn’t I gotten rid of it yet? I thought about it every time I saw the damned thing, yet I still hadn’t dumped it. It was a cherried-out Mustang. I could easily sell it and buy my own cherried-out Mustang if I wanted to. Better yet, I could start a college fund for my son and buy a Prius.
