by Tessa Bailey
“Sweetest girl,” he said into her hair, his voice made of gravel. “I need you. I need you.”
“You have me.” She kissed his cheek, his chin. “I’m right here.”
“Forever, though.” He pushed up on one elbow and found her eyes with his own. “You asked what a day is like for me. I never want a day like that again. When I call you, I need you to know it’s me on the other end, because you know my breath so well. I need to share the tide with you in the morning and the night. I think maybe I have been, even when you weren’t there. Let’s not face days alone when we can face them together, Sage. Promise me that’s possible.”
Sage couldn’t predict the future. Monday morning—the coming months—were so uncertain. Would Belmont force his way past her resolve and into the mine? Or would she find a way to block him? There were no answers tonight, though, except the one in her heart. Her life was intertwined with this man’s. Looking down at her, he was past, present, future. So she couldn’t deny his request to face their days together. Wouldn’t they always share the tide together, whether they were beside each other or apart? In the moment, nothing was more certain. “I promise.”
His answering smile told her it was the right answer. That they would be fine.
Amazing how a few hours could change everything.
Chapter Nineteen
Sage was asleep in the passenger seat when they arrived at the cottage.
Something about her exhaustion made him prideful, but he didn’t appreciate having that reaction, so he forced it aside. He should be grateful. Yes, God knew he was that. To have a woman hold his hand and walk from the church with him so trustingly, allowing him the honor of buckling her into the seat, meant cherishing that duty. Not being boastful about sating her to the point of sleep.
Although it was difficult not to…enjoy how boneless she looked. The times he’d allowed himself to imagine pressing his cock into Sage, shame had come along for the ride. But she’d set him free of it tonight, and the result had been indescribable. He’d never known she could speak that way. Or force him to abandon his restraint. He loved it. A corner of Belmont’s mouth ticked up when he realized he could still feel the nail marks in his ass. And he gave in, allowing himself a few beats of satisfaction for pleasing his woman. Thank Christ for that.
She’d given him even more than her body, though. Some of the ugly demons that were inside him when they walked into the church had been banished by the time they left. He wasn’t fooling himself into thinking the mine would be easy to surmount. It wouldn’t. Already the clock was beginning to tick loudly in his ears, counting down to tomorrow morning. But he’d go in knowing Sage loved him. If anything could help him face what lay ahead, it was that.
He climbed out of the Suburban, trying to be as quiet as possible shutting the driver’s side door. He rounded the front fender, his blood pumping with the excitement of carrying Sage to bed. Laying her down in the sheets and removing her shoes, setting them in a place she could find them easily in the morning. His body weight would weigh down the mattress and wake her up, so he’d find a chair or bed down on the ground, like he did sometimes on the boat during a long job.
Just before he reached the passenger side, he stopped, staring at Sage through the glass. This was it. The last remaining hours before tomorrow crashed down on them. She didn’t even know they’d been robbed of a day yet, and his throat wanted to cave in just knowing that. She was probably counting on the extra twenty-four hours to talk him out of going into the mine. Or maybe she’d accepted there was no way to stop him. Either way, he wasn’t giving her that chance, was he?
Belmont rested his hands on the hood of the Suburban and breathed, battling the urge to climb back into the driver’s side and speed both of them straight out of the town. A man was putting him down in the earth tomorrow, same way another man had shoved him into that well; they were just using different methods. He loathed another person having that leverage on him and Sage. But he would work and fight until they could see their way out of it.
His resolve was firm, but with only hours to go, he could do nothing to keep the blackness from drifting close, trying to surround and swallow him. Even with Sage asleep, he wouldn’t violate this new understanding between them. Wouldn’t take her comfort unless it was right. They weren’t there just yet. So he paced around the Suburban until the disquiet went away and he could lift Sage from the passenger seat with the intention of letting her go.
When he eased Sage down onto the sheets and lit the hearth, Belmont fulfilled the dream of taking off her coat and shoes, covering her with the blanket, and stepping back. Marveling over the perfection of the woman who claimed to love him. Him. Someday he would sleep beside her, holding her through dreams and nightmares alike. But it wouldn’t be until the secrets were gone between them. Until then, he wouldn’t allow himself the joy.
Belmont paused at the doorway, swallowing the fist in his throat as he took a long look at Sage. And went to go face his hell.
* * *
Sage woke with a muffled gasp into her pillow.
She was warm, but she didn’t feel safe. That made no sense, because Belmont would be nearby. If not in bed with her, he would be outside in the Suburban.
Trying to dismiss the cold dread building in her breast, she pushed up on one elbow and surveyed the room. Embers were glowing in the hearth and her shoes were arranged in front of it neatly, her stockings rolled up and tucked inside. But there was no Belmont.
Why was she panicking? She’d had the dream again, about Belmont walking into the darkness, but that was nothing new. The dream had been recurring for weeks. Maybe the story he’d told her last night had left her feeling unsettled. Yes, that had to be it. It would leave anyone feeling adrift, sorrowful for the boy who’d endured so much unnecessary fear at the hands of a grown-up he should have been able to trust. Her heart would never stop aching over how succinctly he’d told the story, as if he wasn’t owed any sympathy. As if a grave injustice hadn’t been done, the people he loved going on with their lives none the wiser, while Belmont suffered in silence.
No more. She wouldn’t let him relive those four days again.
How to prevent him from taking her place at the mine, though? Belmont had never been capable of denying her anything, so she knew what it meant that he’d stood firm through all her pleading. There was no changing his mind. But what if she could change Augie’s?
Last night, while Belmont told the story of being pushed into the well, then keeping it from his family, Sage had been too horrified to think of anything but his pain. But now, replaying his words, she saw her own plight much clearer. Belmont didn’t deserve to carry the burden of what Lawrence did to him. Didn’t deserve to feel guilt over potentially ruining the man’s relationship with his children. But he couldn’t see that.
The same way Sage couldn’t stop beating herself up over leaving her parents.
Belmont had earned peace and happiness. Did that mean she’d earned it, too, by caring for Thomas and Bernie so long? Yes, she thought it might. They loved each other. Love. She’d watched it overcome so many obstacles on this road trip…and there was no love stronger than the one between her and Belmont. The squeezing organ in her chest told her so. Her sense of responsibility wouldn’t desert her, however.
So what was the solution? Her parents needed support and Augie wanted his pound of flesh. Was there a way to manage both? If she could arrange a payment plan—with interest—to be fulfilled from California, they would eventually pay off the balance of her father’s two remaining months in the mine. And she would send them money, whatever it took, to keep her place with Belmont in the sun. Just the possibility of going back to San Diego, something she’d never thought she’d do again, filled her with warmth. She and Belmont both deserved to be happy…and they wouldn’t be happy without each other. Nor would they be happy in Sibley. So she would once again go to the devil and plead her case. She couldn’t fail—she wouldn’t—because this time she
was bargaining for Belmont’s life.
Feeling determined, Sage turned over and slung her legs over the side of the bed, anxious to lay eyes on Belmont. To…touch him. There was some discomfort between her legs where he’d been last night. For some reason, she wanted to tell him about it. Was that silly? This sudden need to confide the secrets of her body in him? She didn’t know. And she didn’t care, either. There was no room for doubt between them after last night. He loved her. She loved him. Everything was going to fall into place around that irrevocable fact.
“Belmont?” Sage called, pushing the fall of hair back over her shoulder. She listened for a moment and heard nothing but the drip of morning dew on the windowpane, the rush of wind outside. Again, the foreboding tried to form fog in her stomach, but she shook it off. Maybe he’d gone into town for breakfast. He would know she needed coffee first thing in the morning—it was her routine. And his routine was taking care of people. Her.
I’m going to take care of him, too.
Sage changed into her clothes, dragging the stockings up the sensitized skin of her legs, tugging a gray, long-sleeved trapeze dress over her head. And with a smile tickling her lips, she pushed open the door of the cottage—
An unfamiliar vehicle sat where the Suburban had been last night. It was a forest green SUV with shiny chrome wheels and a gold cross hanging in the window. And she knew. She knew to whom the vehicle belonged.
“About time you woke up,” Augie said to her left.
Sage’s head whipped around so fast, pain shot straight up the side of her neck. She braced herself on the door frame so she wouldn’t collapse under the rush of denial and confusion. “What are you doing here?”
Augie leaned back against the front bumper of his car. “You and your boyfriend seem to be under the impression I have to explain myself.” His smile was devoid of humor. “I don’t. About time you both knew it.”
“My boyfriend…”
She didn’t like the way he sounded so familiar with Belmont when they’d spent all of two minutes in each other’s presence. And she especially didn’t like the casual way Augie perused her body, as if she were wearing a bathing suit instead of a dress and stockings. “Something tells me the prediction I made about you being grateful last night proved correct.”
What was he talking about? The hair on Sage’s neck was standing straight up. “He’ll be back here any minute.” She started to inch back inside, intending to lock the door and power up her cell phone to call the police, but Augie’s next words made her freeze.
“No, he won’t.” He sucked air through his teeth. “Training at the mine doesn’t let out until supper time, little Sage. You know that.”
“He’s not at the mine,” she responded automatically, because her brain skipped reason and went directly into denial. There might not be any good reason for Augie to lie about Belmont being at the mine, when she could easily confirm otherwise, but Belmont wouldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t leave without an explanation. “He’ll be back any minute.”
Augie laughed. Long and hard enough to make Sage think she might vomit. “Why don’t you come out here and I’ll tell you a little story?”
She shook her head. It was all she could manage.
“Suit yourself,” Augie said on a smug sigh. “When I paid your man a visit at the motel yesterday, I had a feeling he wouldn’t tell you.”
“Tell me what?” she croaked.
“Your daddy did it again.” He crossed his heels, left over right. “Spent all his hard-earned money on booze and cigarettes, without leaving a dime for the mortgage. Or your mother.” He said the last word with a sneer, such breathtaking hatred in his eyes, Sage didn’t bother trying to keep the dread at bay any longer. “You know, everyone in this town hates me until they need to be bailed out. Including you. Isn’t that right? Little Sage.”
Nausea built in her belly, splinters digging into her palms from gripping the door frame so hard. “Whatever it is, just tell me,” she wheezed. “I don’t have time for a speech. I have to go get Belmont.”
Augie tilted his head. “You’ll need to go pretty deep down into the mine to reach him. And seeing as how you’re not an employee anymore, I don’t think I can allow that.”
The air crackled around her ears. No. He had to be lying. The devil was a liar, wasn’t he? “Stop,” she near shouted. “Stop this. He can’t be in there.”
She tried to rein herself in when it was obvious Augie was enjoying her distress, but her knees were threatening to buckle. “Your daddy owes enough to keep Mr. Clarkson busting his hump for another three years,” Augie said, delivering the final blow. “He looked a mite shaky heading in this morning, I must say.”
“No…” The world tipped sideways. Had her father really been prepared to let her spend three years in that dark hell? “Two months. It was only supposed to be two months.” Sage gave in and sat down, her feet hanging over the ledge and sticking in the dirt. Shaky. Belmont had looked shaky. Oh God no. He’d known about the added debt and hadn’t told her. He’d just gone and gotten started serving her penance. The vision from her nightmare was real.
“Chin up, now. I know when a man is easily broken, and he won’t be one of them.” His teeth shone white when he smiled. Too white. “Not without a little effort on my part. And something tells me he won’t turn down all the overtime I aim to offer him.”
“What do you want?” With a great effort, Sage lifted her head. “You didn’t just come here to taunt me. What do you want?”
“Smart girl,” Augie murmured, his sticky gaze running down her legs and back up. “Pretty girl, too. You might not walk around with all the trappings, but you resemble your mother in the ways that count.”
Invisible ants crawled over Sage’s skin, and if Belmont didn’t need her, she would have prayed for numbness. Gone back into the cottage, lain down, and screamed into her pillow. But he did need her. At that very moment, he was suffering. She could sense it, like he was right there, whispering in her ear. God, she would give anything for that to be true.
“Yes, you sure are a smart girl, little Sage, so I won’t insult your intelligence by pretending I don’t have a serious quarrel with your parents.” Red suffused his face. “They don’t just use me whenever they fall on hard times. No. They’ve taunted me. Acting so goddamn happy even though they live like two pigs in shit. I could have given her anything she wanted, and she chose a lousy drunk who can’t even perform his job right. A fucking waste.”
“I’m sorry,” she found herself saying, even though it pained her. “I’m sorry you were hurt by their actions, but so was I. I just want this over.”
“Too bad, girl. You’ve put yourself in the thick of it.” Augie pushed off the bumper and came to stand a few feet away. “You came to me for help. For a solution. You’re just like them deep down and you’ll be treated thusly.”
Renewed guilt and an awful sense of foreboding made her muscles stiffen. “How so?”
His wing-tip shoes crunched on the earth as he shifted. “They made a fool out of me in front of this town. Laughed in my face along with everyone else. So I worked and saved and made myself respectable. Something your father will never be. And she still didn’t want me. Everyone knew it. The people of my town.” He swiped a hand over his mouth. “Now I’ll make fools out of them. You want your boyfriend out of the mine for good? You want me to sign off on Daddy’s pension? You’ll be my wife. We’ll see who’s laughing then.”
The irony wasn’t lost on either of them when a laugh broke from Sage’s throat, hysterical and sad, all at once. “I wouldn’t marry you if we were the last two people on earth.”
“We’ll see about that, won’t we?”
When Augie turned on a heel and started to leave, Sage shot to her feet. “Wait.” She raked nervous fingers through her hair. “I was going to come to you this morning—”
“Shocking.”
“I was going to ask about a payment arrangement,” she continued without break
ing. “I have a good job back in San Diego and I’ll pay back every cent he owes, with interest.”
It even sounded lame to her ears, but more so when Augie only snorted in response. “Even if you could guarantee he won’t come crawling to me for another loan, Sage, we both know this doesn’t really have anything to do with money.”
Sage stared after the SUV in horror as it backed down the path.
* * *
Belmont shoved the squishy orange earplugs into his ears, praying they would drown out the noise. Not the sounds of the underground machines he was training on. It wasn’t the droning engine that was bothering him. His own boat motor back in California was equally loud. That familiarity was the only thing keeping his head from exploding.
No, it was the voices. The search party calling his name from a football field away. The tinny sounds blasted around his skull like rebounding bullets, breaking chunks of bone free so they rattled around. And then there was the soft scratching of the goat hooves at his injured leg, the soft whines of hunger. The dark. He’d never been anywhere as dark as it had been in the well at night. Even though there were spotlights and helmet lamps illuminating the mine, spots floated in his vision, trying to block them out.
The white walls he dug into looked like stone in the near-darkness, closing in on him, backing up, constricting tight again until he swore they were beating, like his erratic heart.
Sage. Think of Sage.
Belmont took a deep breath and closed his eyes, imagining her as she’d been lying in the bed last night, her hands tucked beneath her chin. In his mind’s eye, she sat up and stretched, holding out her arms to him. And he pounced. He pounced and pinned her down, using her hair to angle her head, so he could bury his face in her neck. Belmont, you’re smothering me. Bad. That was bad for her. He needed to stop thinking about the relief of having her crushed so tight to his chest. How he would draw on her warmth. How he wouldn’t let her go until he was ready. Until he calmed.
