by Piper Rayne
“On occasion. But I told her it was over. That I’m seeing someone now.”
I shake my head. “I gotta take a shower.”
Heading straight for the shower, I stand under the stream of water, a million questions accosting my brain and a million emotions swirling through my heart. Does he have hookups in every city? How will I ever deal with his life when I’m not traveling with him? I understand a little better now why it’s hard for Saige. Trust is huge and hard for me to give. Do I have what it takes to handle dating a professional athlete? I mean, my dad wasn’t famous and look what he did. He didn’t have to face temptation from women every time he clocked out for the day.
The fogged up glass door slides aside and Maksim steps in. “We’re going to talk about this.”
“I’m busy.”
“Paisley,” he says with a bite.
“Maksim,” I impersonate his tone.
“She means nothing.”
“Prez was just someone to talk to. I don’t like it though. I don’t like the girls. I don’t like the way it makes me feel.” Water streams down my body and I think it’s all the better to hide the tears brimming in my eyes.
“Good thing I only like one girl,” he says with a smile. He always says the sweetest things. He takes me into his arms, turns me around, and shampoos my hair. “Have I ever told you how much I love your hair?”
“About a hundred times.” I allow the distraction, leaning along his body after he’s washed and conditioned my hair. I look up at him, feeling more vulnerable than ever. “Maksim, please don’t hurt me.”
“Never.”
Afterward, Maksim dries me off, picks me up, lays me on the bed, and makes love to me—missionary style.
I knock on Maksim’s door with a cheesecake in my hand.
Nadiya answers in a tight aqua dress that will make sure she’s noticed anywhere she goes. She points at the box. “Is that dessert?”
“Cheesecake,” I say, offering it.
She takes it from my hands. “I love cheesecake and so does Jessie.”
Jesse? Does she have a boyfriend? Maksim is driving me crazy with his lack of details.
Nadiya turns and walks down the hallway toward the kitchen, and I follow. I haven’t even been here since I found out about Nadiya.
“He’s out on the patio. That man loves to grill.” She places the cheesecake in the fridge and turns around, her toes painted the cutest pink.
“I didn’t know he grilled,” I say, hating that this woman knows more about him than I do.
“Everything from fish to vegetables. Always out on the grill.” She waves toward the patio where I’m guessing Maksim is.
He and I have been good. Happy. Still having sex every chance we get. But I can’t help but feel as though there’s something more going on underneath it all. My jealousy in Nashville. His jealousy in Nashville. Him living with a beautiful woman—regardless of who she is. And Armen. The fact he refuses to talk about his feelings from his friend’s death. It’s all brewing underneath our new relationship, and sometimes I feel as if we’re waiting for a bomb to go off.
“Tell me about yourself. Maks says you’re a psychologist? How did you go through that much schooling?”
I laugh. “Well, I love it. I want to help people.”
“Good money though. That’s what my mama would say. It pays good.” She takes a vegetable tray from the fridge and places it in front of me.
“Not yet. Takes a while to get a practice rolling. Hopefully in a few years.”
“I’m graduating from a fashion design school and my mama says it’s not practical.”
“Well, my mom was mad about the loans I took out. I’ll be paying those for years to come.” I roll my eyes good-naturedly.
“Not if you stay with Maksim.” She waggles her eyebrows.
I shake my head. “My bills are my bills.”
“That’s not how he works.” She pours herself a margarita from a pitcher and offers me some, which I accept.
“That’s how I’ll make sure it works.”
She picks up a carrot and points it at me. “Oh, I like you. You’ve got spine. Inessa will like you too.”
I frown. “Who is Inessa?”
“Maksim’s mama,” she says with a look of concern over the fact that I didn’t know that.
In truth, I don’t know anything about his family. He never really talks about them. I guess at this point, I shouldn’t be surprised.
“Hey, I didn’t hear the door.” Maksim walks into the house from the porch, wearing board shorts and no shirt.
I hate that Nadiya sees him like this every day. It’s just not a good feeling when another woman knows your boyfriend better than you do, even if their relationship is platonic.
He bends down and kisses me. “Since when do I not get a kiss first?”
“So demanding.” Nadiya sips her margarita. “She brought cheesecake.”
“You’d think someone told you Nadiya loves cheesecake.” He winks at me before heading to the fridge and pulling out some brown packages.
“Taking credit for something you didn’t do.” Nadiya refills her margarita and comes over to sit next to me on a breakfast stool while we watch Maksim open the packages of meat. Chicken, steak, and bratwurst.
“Good thing I’m not a vegetarian,” I say.
Maksim peeks up at me. “That might’ve been a deal breaker.”
“No, it wouldn’t have. He loves you,” Nadiya says.
Maksim gives her a look. One that says shut up. A look one might give to a little sister.
Some of the tension coursing through my body relaxes. I’m way too hung up on the fact that Nadiya should be a model for her own fashion designs, rather than the fact that she’s just a close friend of Maksim’s.
Maksim picks up the plate with all the meat on it. “Come join me at the grill.” He waits for me to stand.
“Sure. Are you coming, Nadiya?”
“No, I’m waiting on Jessie.” She waves for me to go. “You guys can have some alone time to make out.” She laughs and takes another sip of her margarita.
I follow Maksim out onto his pool deck that overlooks the ocean.
“I didn’t see your bag in there?” Maksim says, placing the meat on the sizzling grill.
I sit with my margarita in one of the lounge chairs, stretching out my legs. “It’s in the car.”
He places the plate down next to the grill, closes the lid, and sits on the edge of my lounger. Leaning down, he rests his forehead to mine. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“I’ve missed you.”
“You just saw me yesterday.”
“I can’t wait to have you alone.”
I wind my arms around his broad shoulders. “Me either.”
And that’s the truth. I love being with Maksim. So much that it scares me. Although I trust him, especially after Nashville, when I witnessed his own insecurities with our relationship. He was afraid of losing what we have too. I know this—us—means something to him.
We sit like that for a while, listening to the waves.
“I’m thinking sex on the beach tonight?” he whispers.
“Sounds good to me.”
He rises moments later to check on the meat and I watch, thankful to have scored a guy like him. Besides putting his feelings for me out there, he’s nice to look at. His muscled back flexing as he turns over the meat. His perfect V shape that tapers down to his waistband. The man really is an Adonis.
“Jessie’s here!” Nadiya calls, joining outside with a woman at her side.
Who I thought was Jesse is actually Jessie. She’s a short-haired brunette with tattoos sprinkled all over her body. She’s wearing a tank top and a short fluffy skirt, and her eyes are as sparkling blue as Maksim’s. She’s very pretty.
“Hey, Jessie,” Maksim says.
“Hey, big guy.” Jessie rises onto her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. She turns around and sets her gaze on me, a smile on her lips.
“So this is the girl you’ve been cheating on me with. Nice.”
“Sorry, but she prefers what’s under my shorts,” Maksim says, and they both laugh.
Nadiya sits next to me on the lounger, nudging me to scoot over even though there’s a perfectly good empty lounger next to me. “Maksim doesn’t understand lesbians.” She chomps down on another carrot.
“I understand them just fine. I understand wanting tits and pussy over some dick. Especially when it comes to my girl.” He winks, and I cross my legs as Jessie’s gaze settles on me.
I finally clue into the dynamic and what it means. Once again, I feel like an idiot because I’ve been kept out of the loop.
“She’s very cute, like the girl next door,” Jessie says. “But I bet she’s kinky.”
Jessie sits in the lounger next to me, and Nadiya quickly swaps out mine for hers. She gives Jessie a quick kiss, and Jessie holds Nadiya to her body much like Maksim does to me.
“You really need to learn how to fill a girl in,” I say to him.
Nadiya sits up. “He didn’t tell you I was a lesbian?” She looks at Maksim as he shrugs.
“It’s not my business to tell. Besides, I didn’t see why it mattered. If Paise trusts me, she trusts me, regardless of whether the girl living with me likes dick or not.”
Nadiya and Jessie look at one another.
“You were testing her,” Jessie says exactly what I was thinking.
“No, I wasn’t.” He disappears inside with the dirty tray.
“Don’t be mad at him,” Nadiya rushes to say to me. “He just wants to make sure you two can deal with the groupies who don’t understand the word no.”
“Don’t make excuses for him,” Jessie tells Nadiya, shaking her head.
“I’m not. But you know how jealous girls get when they’re dating. It’s the number one reason for their breakups—the insecurity of not being enough for him.” Nadiya softens her expression as if saying, “You understand how it can be.”
All I can think about from what she said is how many other girlfriends he might have had. I want to scream. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve had boyfriends too. Of course he’s had girlfriends. We both have a past. But I don’t want to think about any of that because in my head, he’s mine.
Maksim comes out and interrupts our conversation, carrying a clean dish to put the meat on. He barely looks at us until he takes everything off the grill. “Let’s eat so these two can leave and I can have you all to myself.”
Nadiya smacks him on the back, and we all file inside to prepare our plates.
The conversation over dinner is enjoyable and I enjoy getting to know Nadiya and Jessie a bit more, even if I’m pushing my irritation with Maksim to the back of my head the whole time.
After we eat, all four of us sit around the pool. Nadiya tells me how her relationship with Jessie started when they met in a class and how they’re developing a clothing line together. Watching them is like looking through a peephole you can’t look away from. They’re so cute together, and it’s clear to see why they’re a couple.
“But first things first, we need to get Nadiya to stay in the country after her school visa is finished.” Jessie sets her eyes on me as if I have some sort of control over it.
Maksim tenses at my side. I place my hand on his thigh because I’m sure she’s been a part of his life for so many years now, it would be hard for him if she had to return to Russia.
“What can you do?” I ask with concern.
“Marry Maksim.” Nadiya laughs.
So does Jessie. I giggle but notice that Maksim doesn’t. For the umpteenth time with him, I feel as if I’m missing something.
Nadiya throws her napkin at Maksim. “Stop being like that. It would never come to that.”
I turn to look at him. “What are they talking about?”
“This is when I’m happy I’m a lesbian. Girls can’t keep secrets.” Jessie stands. “I’m going to get the cheesecake.” She heads inside, but Nadiya stays outside with us.
“Maksim?” I raise my eyebrows.
Nadiya grabs my hand to divert my attention away from Maksim. “Our mamas have this crazy idea that Maksim should marry me so I can stay in the country, but don’t worry. That’s not going to happen.” She laughs as though it’s funny.
“Oh.”
“No. No. No. Don’t you go thinking either one of us would entertain such a crazy idea. Our mamas just want to keep us both here and they’ll do anything to make it happen. Who knows, maybe I’ll marry Jessie.” She smiles, and I can see in her eyes that she’s hopeful that might come to pass.
“They don’t even know you’re a lesbian, Nadiya. You’d have to tell them that first.” Maksim sips his beer, looking disinterested in the conversation.
“Didn’t you think you could tell me?” I ask him.
“I better go help with the cheesecake before Jessie eats it all. She has a huge sweet tooth.” Nadiya leaves us.
I stand without a word and walk toward the beach, unsure how to take this news. Standing on the edge, I slip off my shoes and let my feet sink into the sand. Maksim joins me moments later with a new beer and a fresh margarita for me.
“Why do you keep things from me?” I walk down the beach, and he joins me.
He says nothing for a moment. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve told you more than I’ve ever told anyone.”
I stop walking and he turns to face me.
“That information is something I should’ve known.”
“Why? I’m handling it.”
“But I’m your girlfriend. You’re supposed to share things with me.”
“My mama’s crazy plan for me to marry someone she doesn’t even know is a lesbian?”
“You hid her from me to begin with, then you allowed me to think she was straight.”
“So?” He sips his beer.
“It’s deceitful, and I think you were testing me. Would you like it if I tested you?”
He places his beer down on the sand and grabs my glass, setting it next to his. “I didn’t mean to test you. I just forgot about Nadiya in the first place, and I do think it shouldn’t matter whether she’s straight or not. I want you to trust me. I know it’s a big thing for you after what your dad did. If I told you she was a lesbian right away, you never would’ve had to deal with your jealousy. And I need to know that you can, because it’s been an issue with women I’ve seen before. I’d rather know early on rather than down a long stretch of road. But after Nashville, I get it. I can be jealous too, and I hate that fucking feeling. And it scares me because it means I’m not just falling for you, kotik, I’ve already fallen.”
Jesus, this guy. He’s got an answer for everything, and he always wins me over.
Warmth fills my chest. “I’ve fallen too. But, Maksim, I want you to go to therapy so we can be out in the open.”
He nods. “Okay.”
I’m not sure if he agreed just to end this tiff we’re in and have a pleasurable night, or if he really is going to stop fighting me on it.
Either way, he takes me in his arms and walks us into the ocean, through the waves that retreat back into the deep dark sea. All I can think is that I wish they could take all our problems with them.
Malcolm has become a great skater. I’ve been able to teach him how to do a slap shot while he’s standing in front of the net, but he still struggles with stick handling when he’s on the move. But our first game isn’t for a few weeks.
“I don’t understand why I have to be the goalie.” Dru skates out wearing all the pads. “How do I even stop a little black puck I can’t see?”
Roadie calls the kid over. Since we have a long way to go, I recruited a few teammates to help out. Tweetie’s got Marin. Aiden’s got Lark. I’m handling Malcolm. Poor Paisley has everyone else who’s taking a bit longer to get the feel of the skates.
During our break, I skate over to Aiden. I’m sure Paisley and I are just going through normal relationship problems, bu
t I want his advice because I don’t enjoy these little tiffs we keep finding ourselves in. Except for the makeup sex.
“You available for a drink after?” I ask.
“Sure. Why?”
“We’ll talk about it then.”
I steal the puck away from him because I don’t want him to corner me here with Paisley’s eyes on us. He skates after me, and before I know it, all the Fury members are having a little game of pick up. Roadie gets in front of the goal when Tweetie skates near it and almost scores.
I forgot how fun hockey is when you’re not playing for a living. Not that I don’t love it, I do, but not having the pressures of ownership, coaches, and fans is a nice change too.
The kids get a kick out of watching us. Each one cheers on the player who’s been helping them the most, which only gets our blood pumping.
“Look at the way they skate backward like it’s nothing,” Malcolm says.
“And the fact you can barely see where the puck is,” Lark comments back.
I can’t speak for the other guys, but the kids going on about our skills only drives me harder to score, to be the one they all love. None of us have pads on though, so we’re going easy on one another. When we finish, the kids join us, asking a million questions, and I’m out of breath and head to the bench.
Paisley hands me a water. “Impressive. I like seeing you having fun out there.”
I look at her. Her dark hair is pulled back in an unruly bun, and her wide smile deepens her dimples. I don’t think she meant anything by her comment.
“What do I look like when I’m playing?”
She stares at me, and I already know I won’t like the answer. “Normally?”
“Yeah.” I nod.
“Angry. Pissed off. You have to be because you’re playing a role out there, right?”
Suddenly something clicks. Gerhardt wanting me to loosen up. The fans thinking I’m scary. The opposing team’s fans hating me. But I enjoy going out every game, don’t I? Blyat. Maybe I don’t—I sure as hell don’t feel happy like this after a Fury game.
After the kids are driving away on the bus, Aiden and I head to Carmelo’s.
