Behind him, Eric laughs, though it sounds kind of forced.
“Stop it,” Riley says. “Don’t—”
“Don’t what?” Aiden says it to Riley, but he doesn’t take his eyes off of me. “I didn’t do anything to you, did I, villain?”
I swallow. Adrenaline rushes through my veins and electricity crackles across my skin, and with all the headaches and the sleep deprivation, not to mention the missed food, it’s hard to think straight. “Shut up,” I tell Aiden, because I think if he doesn’t, I might actually end up electrocuting him. And hopefully the other three, because if I’m going to get sent home for using my power—or, like, for murdering someone—I might as well get all of them.
But I don’t want to get sent home. I mean, I want to go home, just not like that. I can’t let them win. I can’t let them think they’ve actually succeeded in making my life hell or scaring me off. That I’m weaker than them.
I take a deep breath. It takes everything I have to force my lightning to die down, but I do it.
Right as our cabin door swings open and Counselor Steve steps in. He looks bewildered to see us like this—me against the wall, the four of them in my way, with Aiden practically in my face—but at least he doesn’t see me covered in electricity.
“What are you doing?” Counselor Steve asks, though his voice shakes and I don’t think he really wants to know. He glances over his shoulder at the door, like maybe he’s hoping one of the other counselors will show up and take over for him.
“Nothing,” Aiden says, moving away from me. “We were just discussing our plans for the week.”
Chapter 4
I SIT DOWN AT the end of Amelia’s table at lunch on Wednesday, completely soaking wet. I’m also alone, no Riley, because I just came from a hike with our cabin mates, and while normally I would have stopped by the cabin first to walk with him, I didn’t have time.
Melissa scoots away from me as water spreads across the bench.
Amelia wrinkles her nose. “Ew. Why are you wet?”
“I was pushed.” I cradle two hot dogs to my chest while I scarf down the third one. Thankfully lunch today was something holdable and not, like, macaroni or soup or something, since I’ve learned that anything that’s sitting on my tray is going to end up on the floor. “Into the pond.”
“And you couldn’t change first?” She flicks her hair over her shoulder. “I wouldn’t have let you sit at our table if I’d known you were going to show up like that.”
I talk with my mouth full. “I couldn’t risk running into Aiden and getting frozen. The cabin is the first place they’d look for me.” The only reason he didn’t freeze me after they pushed me into the pond was because there were witnesses—not just Counselor Steve, but another cabin was there, discussing the pond’s ecosystem—and I don’t think they could have passed it off as an accident. And because I ran as fast as I could when Counselor Steve said our hike was officially over and it was time to head to lunch. But not, like, in a cowardly or terrified way or anything. And definitely not in a way that anyone could interpret as them actually getting to me.
Riley hobbles over to our table and sits down just as I’m biting into my second hot dog. The bun’s soggy on one side from being pressed against my shirt, and it’s not as good as the first, but I don’t care because I don’t think I’ve ever been this hungry before.
Riley looks kind of pale, and tired, and like his leg is definitely hurting him, but as soon as he sees me, all that goes away and he just looks shocked. “Oh, my God, X. What happened?”
“They pushed me in the pond.”
“Your cabin mates are really mean,” Melissa says. “One of my friends from another cabin told me they cut in front of him at dinner last night because the brownies were running out. They got the last ones, and he didn’t get any. I can see why you’d be so afraid of them.”
“I’m not afraid of them.” I hear a bark of laughter somewhere behind me, and I whirl around, thinking it’s our cabin mates. It’s not. “Are they at the cabin?” I ask Riley. “Are they waiting for me?”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t seem them.”
Amelia makes a disgusted face as she watches me eat. “You’re not going to be allowed to keep sitting here if you talk with your mouth full.”
“You talk with your mouth full all the time.” I even have a few pictures on my phone to prove it.
“Only sometimes,” she says. “When I have something really important to say. And I meant if you keep eating like that.”
I glance around the table. Everyone’s staring at me in horror. I stuff the last two bites’ worth of hot dog in my mouth anyway.
“They pushed you?” Riley asks, his forehead knitting up in concern.
“Don’t worry about it, Perkins.” Little bits of hot dog bun spew out as I talk.
“Was Counselor Steve there? Did he say anything?”
“Of course he was, and no, of course he didn’t.” I swallow. The food feels like a giant lump in my throat, and I steal Amelia’s milk and take a drink, since I forgot to get one.
“Hey!” She glares at me.
I give it back.
She makes a face. “Now there’s pond germs in there. Gross.”
“It’s because of me,” Riley says. “Because I told on them. That’s why they pushed you.”
“It’s not.”
“It is, X. Just admit it.”
“Okay, maybe it is, but they would have done something like this sooner or later. Besides, it’s just water. I’ll survive.”
“Right. That’s why you’re scarfing down your food like that.”
“That has nothing to do with you or what you did.”
“Yeah, but it’s not surviving.”
“Actually, I think it’s pretty much the definition of surviving.” So there.
“You also stole my milk,” Amelia adds. “And you keep looking over your shoulder for those guys.”
I turn to face her, because I was totally looking over my shoulder for them. “No, I don’t.”
“Melissa’s right. You are afraid of them.”
I glare at her. “I’m not. I’m just avoiding them. I can’t… I can’t let them win.”
She looks me over, and it’s clear from her expression that if anyone is winning here, it’s definitely not me. “And your eyes are all bloodshot.”
“I haven’t been sleeping much. That’s all.” The fact that Noah must not be getting a full night’s sleep either is only slightly comforting, because he’s not the one being startled awake at all hours, or the one who’s too afraid to fall back asleep. Er, not that I’m afraid, exactly, but waking up like that over and over and being full of adrenaline isn’t really the most relaxing environment.
“Have you slept at all since you got here?” Riley asks.
Thinking about sleep makes me yawn, which doesn’t make me sound as convincing as I would like when I say, “Of course I have.”
He and Amelia exchange a worried look.
“X—”
“It’s only a couple more days.”
“Yeah, a couple more days of you living like an animal.”
I bite into my third hot dog, trying to eat it in a more civilized manner. “Isn’t that the point of camp? To live like an animal in the woods for a week?”
Amelia bites her lip. “Maybe you should—”
“No.”
“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“You were going to say I should call Gordon. I’m not doing that.”
Riley takes a deep breath. “Maybe you should, though. You could at least think about it.”
He says that like I haven’t been thinking about it all day. “And let them win? And let them think they can just drive me off?”
“Yeah, X, that. I get that you don’t want them to think they’ve won, but it can’t be worth all this.”
I hate that he’s probably right. And I hate that all of this is getting to me, and all I could think ab
out today was how long I have left in this hellhole and if maybe I did want to just call it quits and tell Gordon to come pick me up after all. And I kind of hate myself for thinking that, because it means those guys are getting to me and that maybe I can’t take it. “It’s only two more days.”
“Two more days of absolute hell.”
“And it’s not really even two days because tomorrow will be taken up by the scavenger hunt”—a camp-wide competition that our cabin mates intend to win, despite having “someone like me” weighing them down—“and Friday we’ll be packing up our stuff all morning and then going home.”
Riley tilts his head. “That’s two more nights of not sleeping.”
“I’m fine.”
“It’s…” He pauses to count. “Six more meals you’re going to have to eat like that. It’s more cold showers, more frozen clothes, more of whatever Noah’s doing to your head—”
“I get it, okay? It sucks. But I’m sticking it out, I’m not letting them think I can’t take it, and there’s nothing anyone can say or do to me to make me change my mind. Okay, Perkins?”
Riley hesitates, obviously not comfortable with any of this. Then finally he says, “Okay, X. If you say so.”
“Just let me take a picture of it.”
Riley scowls. I mean, he was already kind of scowling because of the pain in his leg he won’t admit is there, but now he’s scowling at me. “I already told you. No.”
I sigh. It’s later that afternoon, and me and Riley are on our way back to the cabin after attempting to go find his parents’ make-out tree during our hour of free time. An hour wasn’t really long enough—not with Riley getting slower and slower on his crutches as the week goes on—and we basically just made it a little ways past the dining hall before we had to turn back. Which is probably a good thing, because he doesn’t really look okay, and he probably shouldn’t have even tried this.
“Perkins—”
“I just need more time.”
“And a new leg.”
“I should have gone this morning, while you guys went on your hike. I could have gotten to lunch late.”
“There’s a reason you’re not going on the hikes with us, and it’s not so you can go wandering around in the woods alone on crutches.”
He winces. I think at first it’s because of what I said, even though it wasn’t that bad, but then he stops to rest his leg a little. “I hate this.”
“We’re almost there.” The cabin’s just around the next turn in the trail. I can see part of one window from here, and I squint at it, trying to determine if our cabin mates are there. I managed to avoid them all through lunch, and they didn’t try anything during our art session, and thankfully they didn’t follow us on our current expedition. But as much as I’d like to believe I’m in the clear, I know it’s only a matter of time.
“No, I mean…” Riley clenches his jaw. “I hate this.” He waves a hand at his leg. “I hate not being able to do everything like everybody else. And I hate how hard everything is, and how much it hurts. And why did this have to happen now, during camp?”
“It didn’t happen now. It happened six weeks ago.”
“You know what I mean.” He rubs his forehead. “It just sucks, and I hate it. Camp’s already not what I thought it was going to be. It’s not like when my parents went here.”
“Actually,” I say, glancing around, “I think it might be exactly like it was when they went here.” I get the impression it hasn’t changed much. Same buildings, same stupid activities. Just switch out the idiot counselors and the douchey Heroesworth students.
“I just want to see their tree before I leave. My dad carved their initials in it. He was there, and…” Riley lets out a deep breath. “It shouldn’t be that hard. Getting there, I mean. It’s…” He looks over his shoulder, back the way we came, though of course we can’t see the tree from here. We can’t even see any of the main buildings from here, and it’s a lot farther out than that. “Maybe we shouldn’t have turned back. We could have been late. It wouldn’t have been the end of the world.”
I look at him like he’s crazy, because apparently he is. At the rate we were going, we would have been at least an hour late, which would have landed us some kind of awful chore as punishment. Or at least it would me, because while the camp might have been understanding about the guy with the broken leg not making it back in time, I doubt they would have shown me the same leniency. Plus, I’m not convinced Riley could have made it there. He’s having a lot of trouble just getting back to the cabin. So then we still would have had to turn around, but he would have been in even more pain, and we would have been late and had to explain to Counselor Steve that we were out looking for Riley’s parents’ make-out tree, which we didn’t even actually find.
“Maybe tomorrow,” Riley says. “During the scavenger hunt. It’s supposed to take up most of the day. It should be enough time. I’ll be back before the farewell campfire.”
“Are you serious?”
He adjusts his crutches and starts moving again, not looking at me. “I have to find it, X.”
“No, you don’t. How’s your mom going to feel if you screw up your leg looking for it?”
He doesn’t answer that.
“And I didn’t know your dad, but I’m guessing he wouldn’t have wanted you to hurt yourself trying to find it, either.”
“But he’s not here,” Riley says, his voice quiet. “I thought I was going to come here and see camp the way he saw it. To experience some of the same things. But it hasn’t been the same at all, and… If I can go to that tree and see something he did while he was here, then maybe I can still feel a connection to him.”
We come around the corner, in full sight of the cabin. I glance at the windows, but it’s dark inside, and I feel a wave of relief as I realize our cabin mates aren’t home. “I get why you want to see the tree,” I tell Riley. “I just don’t think—”
“My leg’s fine.”
“Right.”
“It will be.”
“But—”
“I’m never going to see my dad again.” Riley swallows. “That tree meant a lot to him. And we’re only at camp for this week. I definitely won’t have time on Friday, so if I don’t find it tomorrow, then that’s it. I know it’s not the same as seeing him again, and I know it won’t bring him back, but it’s the closest thing I have.”
“I…” I don’t know what to say to that. I want to tell him that no matter how important this tree is, it seems really unlikely that he’s going to make it there, and I’m not just going to stand by and watch while he hurts himself trying to get to it. But he looks really serious about it, and like he’s in a lot of pain from his leg, and I don’t have the heart to tell him that. At least, not right now. Maybe tomorrow, if he hasn’t come to his senses by then.
“I didn’t tell you to go home,” Riley says as we reach the cabin and he hobbles up the porch steps, “so don’t tell me not to do this.”
“Yes, you did.” Close enough, anyway. “But… okay. I mean, I don’t like it, and for the record, I don’t think you should do this, because it’s crazy and I think you’re going to hurt yourself, but I won’t tell you not to, either.”
“Thanks, X.”
“I’m not sure why you’re thanking me. I just said I’d let you go screw up your leg tomorrow.”
“I’ll take it slow. I’ll have all day.”
“And I’ll go with you.”
“What about the scavenger hunt?”
I shrug. “No one’s going to miss me. And if they do… too bad.”
“They might send you home.”
“What, Thursday night? I’ll take the risk. Besides, at least you’ll get the credit for getting me kicked out of here and not those douchebags.”
Riley grins. He pushes the cabin door open and takes a step forward.
Right as Aiden yells, “Gotcha!” and uses his freeze power to cover the floor in ice.
Chapter 5
&
nbsp; THEY DON’T LET ME go see Riley in the infirmary until around seven o’clock that night. Which means I spend about four hours imagining the absolute worst. I’m so on edge that it’s hard to keep my lightning from sparking up every time one of our cabin mates even looks at me. Not that I think they’re going to try anything right now, but I could kill them for what they did to Riley.
They told everyone it was an accident, which it was, since the ice was meant for me. And while they all seem kind of shaken up about the mistake, they also keep giving me dirty looks, like this was somehow my fault. As if I’d let my best friend, who also had a broken leg, go first on purpose just to avoid one of their attacks and possibly get them in trouble.
They leave me alone during dinner, but I hardly eat anything. And I snap at Amelia after about the fifth time she asks me if Riley’s okay, because I don’t know, and because it’s my fault that he got hurt, and because I’m too busy running through all the worst-case scenarios in my head to want to talk about it.
When I finally get to the infirmary, Riley’s lying in one of the beds with his leg elevated. His face is pale, and he looks like he’s in pain. More than he was this afternoon, which I thought was bad enough. He smiles a little when he sees me. “Hey, X. I wasn’t sure if they were going to let me have visitors.”
I look him over. “What’d they say? About your leg?”
“I won’t know for sure until I get home and have an X-ray, but they think it’s going to be okay. I mean, it wasn’t good that I fell, and it hurts a lot, but the nurse said she doesn’t think anything else is broken or out of place.”
This news doesn’t really mesh with everything I’ve been imagining, and it takes a second for it to sink in.
Riley’s going to be okay. His leg isn’t going to be permanently messed up.
A weight lifts from my chest, even though I still feel guilty. I sit down on the bed next to his, my hands between my knees.
“I just told you I was going to be okay,” Riley says.
The Torment of Renegade X Page 4
