“I can’t wait. I need you now,” I confessed as I pulled far enough from him so I could undo the buttons of his cotton shirt.
I slipped my hands under the shirt. He’d developed muscles in the time we’d been out here. I found him especially sexy when he chopped wood, and as I traced the hardness in his chest, I pictured him out in the barn with his axe. Why didn’t I realize he was sexy when we lived in Virginia?
He shrugged out of his shirt and kissed my neck. I giggled at the tickling sensation that played along my skin. His hands traveled from my shoulders and caressed my arms. I closed my eyes and tilted my head to grant him better access to my neck. The tickling sensation faded into a more urgent demand for him. My hands dropped lower, tracing his lean abdomen and down to the belt holding his pants up. I always had trouble with the leather belt. I groaned in aggravation.
He chuckled. “I’ll help.”
“Well, hurry up. I don’t know how much longer I can wait,” I teased.
“You can help by taking your things off too.”
I smiled at his playful tone and removed my clothing, no longer shy in front of him. It was strange but being naked in front of him felt as natural as if I were alone. He truly was a part of me, though a more exciting part. I liked his body and had fun exploring him and learning what he liked. When his pants fell at his feet, I let my hands caress the male part of him. Leaning into him, I stroked him, closing my eyes so I could focus on how it felt. Hard and thick. The ache between my legs increased. I longed to feel it in me again.
I didn’t know why a couple of the girls in my class seemed horrified by the notion of touching their future husbands intimately. But having learned Todd as I had, I also discovered that the girls really didn’t understand the male body, or the beauty of it. Broad shoulders and narrow waist. Strong arms and legs. The intimate touching was one of my favorite parts of lovemaking, whether he touched me or I touched him.
He led me to the kitchen table, which he had fixed so it no longer wobbled. Taking me by the waist, he picked me up and set me on it. He moved closer to me. He didn’t enter me but his erection settled against me. I moaned and kissed him, enjoying the way his hands traveled my body. My skin responded to his touch, feeling as if it had caught on fire.
I didn’t have the patience to wait any longer. I laid back on the table. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him to me. “I need you.”
Still standing, he entered me. I moaned. The initial contact always felt wonderful. I liked how he filled me. It made me feel very feminine, and I was glad I was a woman. He found my sensitive nub and rubbed it. Closing my eyes, I gave into the sensations his fondling produced, aware that my body clenched around his erection as he made slow, purposeful movements in and out of me. I shifted my hips to heighten my pleasure. I grabbed the back of his thighs and pulled him closer. Not that we could get any closer, really. But the contact was incredible.
He continued his slow and methodical movements, which drove me crazy since my body was screaming for release. When I finally reached the peak, I cried out and tightened my hold on him. He leaned over and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him back, returning passion for passion. His skin felt slick and he smelled wonderfully masculine.
Clinging to me, he moved inside me, gradually increasing the momentum of his thrusting. He brought his lips to my neck, and I could hear his ragged breathing. I moved with him, eager for him to experience the same pleasure he brought me. He arched his back. I felt him throb inside of me and knew he found his release. Knowing he found such ecstasy with me made my heart flutter with joy. I wanted to give him pleasure. He treated me so well, cherished me so well, and loved me so well. How could I not want to satisfy him? Not just with my cooking or cleaning, but also by opening myself completely and freely to him. Loving him as he had loved me for all those years.
He rested on top of me, his breathing still rough. I kissed his neck and held him. When he rose up on his elbows, he kissed me, a lingering kiss that delighted me.
I smiled. “Dinner might be cold this evening.”
He grinned back. “I’ll survive. Besides, this was worth it.”
Yes, it was. It definitely was.
***
In early June, I decided to make lunch while Todd washed the horses. He offered to join me in the kitchen, but I wanted to be able to do something in the house alone. I wanted to do my chores without being in constant fear. I chose to make sandwiches, and I was chopping a tomato when I heard Patches bark. I froze. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe as images of Kent breaking into my house flashed through my mind. I didn’t want to look out the window but I forced myself to go to the parlor and check the front yard. I cried with relief when I saw that Patches was playing with the two cats.
I stumbled back to the kitchen. My tears fell down my cheeks as the reality of my fear consumed me. I had been paralyzed when I thought he was coming. I knew I was safe but I wanted to feel safe too. I hated Kent! I knew he was terrified of Todd now that Todd had pulled a gun on him. I knew he wouldn’t come back because Todd would kill him if he ever saw him again. But I didn’t feel safe!
Struggling to complete the lunch, I set the tomato onto its side. My hands shook. Stop it. You’re safe. He’s all the way in Europe. He can’t harm you anymore. As much as I repeated these things, my shaking and crying wouldn’t stop.
I angrily sliced the tomato until I realized I was cutting the board too. I threw the knife in the sink, picked up the board and banged it against the table, pretending I was hitting Kent with it. If I pounded the table enough, I could erase Kent completely from my mind. I hate you, Kent! I wish I never met you! I won’t live my life in fear anymore.
The board finally gave and split in half. The table had suffered damage as well but was still intact. I curled up in the corner of the room and sobbed hysterically into my hands. I couldn’t keep living this way. I had to get past this or else I would be a prisoner forever. Maybe I’ll never feel completely safe again. Maybe the fear will always linger in the back of my mind, but I should be able to do something to ease that fear enough so I can be comfortable when I’m alone.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the closet by the door. The kitchen door was open. I had a good view of the parlor. I hated for any door to be closed since I wanted to know what or who was in the next room at all times. The closet door was open as well, and I saw the rifle sitting under the coats. I may not be able to control the circumstances around me, but I can control how I respond to those circumstances. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up. My anger returned with newfound energy. I can control some things in my life, and I can make every effort to protect myself.
I recalled the stack of empty glass bottles under the kitchen sink and grabbed an armful of them. You don’t win, Kent! I’m taking my life back! I stormed out of the house and to the barn. I didn’t see Todd, so I went to the shelf in the corner of the barn and set the bottles on it. After the bottles were in a row, I went to the woodpile and picked up the rifle from behind it. I made sure it had bullets in it before I turned my attention back to the bottles. I will defend myself. I will kill Kent if he ever comes near me again. I have every right to protect myself. I shot at each bottle until I succeeded in blowing them all off the shelf. When I was done, a sense of relief flooded over me. I knew this was the answer. I was going to overcome my fear and anger by equipping myself with the skills necessary to protect myself.
I turned to put the gun back when I saw Todd who silently watched me. He was washing Thunder by the large door of the barn. No wonder I didn’t see him when I came in. The storage shed had blocked my view of him. I walked over to him.
“I’m tired of being scared all the time,” I told him.
He nodded. “I’m tired of being angry.”
By the look in his eyes, I knew that we had just agreed to put the past behind us and move on. Relieved, I returned to the kitchen to finish making the sandwiches.
***
Two days later in the late morning, John came over to announce that Barbara went into labor. I told Todd that I was going to help out, and after I got into the buggy, I rode over to the Russell house where a flurry of activity greeted me.
“She went into labor yesterday afternoon,” her mother told me as soon as I walked through the front door.
John took the children out to the barn so we could help the doctor without them running around us. I followed her mother to the bedroom where Barbara was trying to breathe through the pain. She gripped the newspapers under her and groaned.
“The baby will be here soon,” the doctor said.
“Does labor always take long?” I asked.
“Sometimes it can. Barbara has had long labors in the past, but she progresses smoothly along and has little trouble with the actual delivery.”
So I could expect to be in labor for a long time as well.
“The beginning of labor involves minor discomfort,” her mother continued as the doctor turned back to Barbara. “It’s not like she spent the whole night in pain. Now that she’s ready to give birth, things are intense.”
I was glad to be here so I knew what to expect when my time came. I took a deep breath. It was difficult to watch Barbara in pain but I was determined to help. “Is there anything I can do?”
“It would be a good time to get some hot water, clean towels and more newspapers,” the doctor replied.
I nodded and boiled some water on the stove while her mother gathered the towels and newspapers. By the time we finished getting everything ready, the doctor announced that it was time for Barbara to start pushing. Her mother held onto her hand while I sat and waited with a towel.
I was aware of the movement in my womb. Soon it would be my turn. I had to admit that the process of giving birth was unpleasant and I felt queasy as I watched the baby’s head come out, followed by the rest of the body. There’s no way I’m going to let Todd watch me give birth. I could understand why the husband and children were sent outside. I didn’t relish the idea of going through it myself.
“It’s a girl!” the doctor announced.
Little Melanie cried and we all laughed. The doctor handed her to me and I gently held her while I did my best to clean her up with water. She was tiny but amazingly strong and loud as she struggled to squirm away from me. I handed Melanie to Barbara while the doctor took care of the afterbirth. Her mother leaned over and smiled at her new granddaughter.
I smiled. “She’s a cute little girl. I bet Molly will be delighted to have a sister. And I can’t wait to tell Mrs. Carson that you had a girl.”
Barbara laughed. “Yes, she will be pleased.”
“It was scary to watch,” I confessed. “But when I saw Melanie, I realized you were right. It is worth it.”
“I’m glad you were here.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.”
“Everything looks good,” the doctor said. He checked Barbara’s temperature and heart rate. Then he checked Melanie to see how she was doing. “I’m giving both of you a clean bill of health. You’ve been through this before, so you know what do but remember to get plenty of rest.”
Melanie continued crying.
He chuckled. “Well, get as much rest as you can. I’ll tell the father the good news and be on my way.”
Her mother and I finished gathering the towels and blankets and took them to the laundry. John came in shortly after the doctor left and Calvin, Bruce and Molly got to meet their baby sister. After her mother and I were done washing the laundry, I hung the things up to dry and asked if there was anything else I could do. I was anxious to go home and tell Todd that Barbara and John had a girl. They said that there was nothing more they needed, so I went home to tell Todd the good news.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Todd’s Point of View
Alex wrote me a letter to tell me that he and Agnes would be visiting for a couple of days in July. I thought that Ann pretended to be upset that they married since she had vowed to never let him become her brother-in-law, but Alex’s hesitation to stay in our guest bedroom gave me an idea to have a good time with my childhood friend.
Ann offered to come with me into town to pick Alex and Agnes up from the train station, but I asked her if she would practice her shooting in the barn by the time we returned. She asked me why I wanted her to do this, but I told her it would become obvious soon enough. She shrugged and agreed to my strange request. It felt good to leave her alone and know she was comfortable with it.
Alex and Agnes looked very happy together, and I couldn’t believe how much he had changed. He was more serious, though he did tell some good jokes. He had matured in college. I noticed how Agnes’ face glowed whenever he looked at her. I was glad he was treating my sister well.
Ann kept her word and was in the barn practicing her shot with the rifle by the time we entered the barn. I grinned as soon as I saw her. She was starting to show in her pregnancy, so she looked especially feminine even though she was holding a gun in her hands.
She stopped shooting and came over to us. “Hello, Agnes and Alex.”
Alex ducked when she swung the gun his way.
I bit my lower lip so I wouldn’t laugh. She was so used to the gun that she didn’t notice she was waving it around.
“When are you due to give birth?” Agnes asked, delighted to see her.
“Either late November or early December deciding on when the baby’s ready to come out.” She hugged Agnes. “You’ll be an aunt soon enough.”
“Good. I can’t wait to spoil my niece or nephew.”
This was beginning to get boring. I cleared my throat and nodded at Alex.
“Oh. Hello, Alex. Did you enjoy your trip?” Ann asked. She waved the gun in his direction.
“Watch where you’re pointing that thing!” he squeaked as he hid behind me.
I burst out laughing. It was fun to watch him run from her like that.
Her eyes grew wide. “I forgot I had this in my hands.” She quickly went to put it away.
“How could she forget something like that?” he whispered.
I noted the sweat on his brow.
I told her he was scared of her. Ever since she dumped sand on us, he had been on his guard around her. But she wasn’t aware of his reaction to her, which made it even more humorous.
She walked back over to us. “Did you have a good trip?”
“It was wonderful,” Agnes nodded, also unaware of Alex’s hesitation around Ann. “It’s much more fun to travel when you’re with someone you love.” She glanced at Alex and smiled.
“Alex, I’m looking forward to getting to know you as Todd’s friend instead of the annoying boy who pulled pranks on everyone,” Ann said. “I better get started on dinner. You two must be famished.”
Agnes hastened to her. “Can I help? There’s so much I want to tell you.”
“Sure.”
I watched Alex gulp nervously as Ann and Agnes went to the house. Of course, I could only hear Agnes talking. My sister rarely stopped to take a breath.
“Why don’t we eat in town?” he asked.
I shook my head. “What’s wrong with you? Ann’s going out of her way to be nice to you. She never would have done that in Virginia.”
He followed me as I brought the horses and wagon into the barn.
“She’s only being nice to make me feel safe until she can spring her revenge on me,” he insisted.
“You’re paranoid.”
“Am I? Agnes told me that Ann called me ‘Creepy Alex’ while we were growing up. She even said that Ann once told her that she’d kill me if I ever became her brother-in-law. Do you think she’s going to do something to the dinner?”
After the wagon was in its proper spot, I unhooked the horses. I knew I shouldn’t increase his anxiety but the moment seemed too good to pass up. “I’ll tell you what. You ride Thunder and I’ll ride Lightning.” I got the horses ready while I tal
ked. “We’ll take a race. If you win, we’ll eat in town. If I win, we’ll eat here. Deal?”
He shifted from one foot to the other. “I don’t like to make bets anymore.”
“Just because you’re going to be a preacher doesn’t mean you can’t have some good old fashioned fun. I promise you that Ann will not do anything to your food.”
“I don’t know.”
“Wouldn’t it be good to have a race for old time’s sake? We used to have a lot of fun. Sometimes I miss it.”
He sighed. “I do too. When you go off to college, everyone expects you to be serious.”
“Great. So throw off your hat and let’s have some fun!”
“Alright. But if I win, we’re eating in town.”
“Agreed.”
As we got up on the horses, I asked him how long he planned to stay.
“Two days,” he said. “Agnes and I still have to visit my aunt and uncle.”
“How are they doing?”
“They’re doing well. They wanted me to stop by here first so I can give them an update on your progress out here.”
“Then I’ll have to give you a tour tomorrow.”
We urged our horses forward. I pointed to the route we should use in our race. “Are you ready?”
He grinned. “On the count of three. One, two...” He took off.
“You cheater!” I spurred my horse to action.
The ride felt wonderful, and I won despite his effort to gain a head start.
“We eat here tonight!” I cheered. “Ann’s making your favorite dish. Pot roast with vegetables. She’s going all out for you and Agnes. She’ll make Agnes’ favorite meal tomorrow.”
“I can’t wait.” He didn’t sound enthusiastic.
By the time we went into the house, Ann was almost done with the meal. Alex sat next to Agnes on the couch so I slipped into the kitchen, wrapped my arms around Ann and kissed her on the side of the neck.
Falling In Love With Her Husband Page 22
