Becoming His

by Albany Walker

  “Start with why you call him that.” He demands.

  “You don’t need to be so growly, Big Guy, I’m fixin’ to answer you.” I smart back. He quirks his eyebrow. “I fell asleep on the beach,” I shrug my shoulders, “when I woke up, he was laying over my back, sniffing my neck, the creeper.” I point at him. “You two need boundaries.”

  Now he’s full on mumbling. I can only hear a few words. “Rip...won’t...hands...fucker!”

  “You done yet? I’d like to get this over with. What else do you want to talk about?”

  Clearing his throat, “tell me about your parents. When did they die?” He asks gently.

  I motion to him. “I lost them about two weeks after that night,” I laugh a sad laugh, “I keep referring to it as that night. I can’t even call it the night we met, because we didn’t meet. I still don’t know your name. For five years, you’ve been him or he. On bad nights when I prayed you’d come back for me, it was my Mate but never a name.”

  He looks miserable. “Masen Black, my name is Masen Black.”

  I snap my finger “Mase, that’s what he called you. I knew I’d heard your name. I just didn’t remember what it was until you just said it. Well Masen Black, I’m Sophia Brair.”

  “I know your name little one; I’ve always known your name. I could never forget it.”

  Ouch, why does that hurt so much? Is it the confirmation that he could’ve at anytime looked me up; did he ever? Does he know how I lived house to house, hoping the next wouldn’t be worse than the last. Does he know? I have to ask. “Did you know, know I had no one that I was lost? Alone?”

  He rolls both his lips in, eyes closed, shaking his head. “No baby, I had no idea!” Oh God, I think that’s worse, now I know he never even bothered to look. My hand rubs small circles over my heart. I need this done; I can’t take much more.

  “Yeah okay, it was a long time ago, so is there anything else you need? I should really be getting home.”

  He reaches over and grabs my hand, holding it between both of his. I’m so confused. I don’t want him to touch me, but I don’t want him to not touch me either.

  “Please, let me explain. If you need some time after that, then...we’ll see. I don’t know if I can leave you alone, but we’ll figure something out.”

  When I blink, tears fall. “If you can leave me alone? Does that mean I have to leave, find a new school, and new house? Will I be allowed into another pack? Will they know why you made me leave?” My voice cracks. Shit, when did I start to ramble so bad? I’m so busy wondering about the what if’s I don’t realize he’s moved. I’m scooped up in his arms, and he walks to the side of his porch carrying me. I’m so shocked I let him. It feels nice to be held. He sits on a large swing and rocks us. His forehead rests on the top of my head rolling it back and forth.

  “Please, don’t cry baby. I’ll fix this, but please don’t cry.” He pulls me closer and begins talking. “That night, as you call it, my life changed. I had been Alpha for a few years. I thought I was in love with Roxa...”

  “Please,” I beg, “I don’t want to hear this, please.” I’m tempted to cover my ears like a child.

  “Shhh it’s not what you think, listen. We had gone to another territory. I can’t even remember why, probably to accept a challenge, but my Beta and a few friends tagged along. When we drove through Kentucky, I decided to stop for the night, go to a pub, relax before finishing the drive home. As soon as we made it to the pub, I was anxious, just felt off. When we were leaving, I ran into you,” he squeezes me closer, “I’d never seen anything more beautiful until today when I look at you now.” He strokes my cheek “When I realized you were my Mate, I didn’t know what to do. I knew you were young and hadn’t even shifted yet. I’ve never to this day heard of finding a Mate before their first shift. I didn’t know if you knew who or what I was to you.” He stops for a moment likes he gathering strength.

  “I left you there on the sidewalk. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. When we were out of sight, I stayed and watched you with your parents. I followed you home. I watched your family for days, trying to find an excuse to make you come with me. I learned everything I could about you and your parents, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take your childhood away. I didn’t want you to have the pressure of being my Luna when you hadn’t even shifted yet. I was afraid I’d scare you. You were so tiny, just a child. I thought you might by twelve or thirteen.”

  He’s rubbing his chin on my head his whiskers snag in my hair. “I thought I was doing what was best for you. I know, now, how wrong I was. I’m so very sorry. I can’t express how sorry I am for letting you go.”

  The regret in his voice is clear, but I still don’t understand what he regrets? That I lost my parents? That I was alone, or the fact that he never looked for me? Would he ever have looked if I hadn’t ended up here? There are so many questions. “Would you have ever looked for me if I hadn’t showed up here?” sadness clear in my tone.

  “I’ve been looking for you for two years little one.” He’s sounds just as sad as me.

  “How is that possible? I never lived more than fifty miles from my childhood home? If that’s true, how did you not find me?”

  His arms still hold me, but his hands brush over my arms, legs, back and even my face. His touch is gentle and reverent. “I never knew what pack your family belonged to. I didn’t want to bring you to anyone’s attention. I get challenged as Alpha a few times a year now, but back then, it felt like I was challenged a few times a month. I thought it would put a target on you, have people trying to use you to get to me. The only person who knew I’d found you and the entire situation was Michael, my Beta. So, I waited three years to the day. Then, I left to go get you and your family if they wanted to come.” He’s hands have stopped moving, and his body grows tense. “When I got out of the car, I knew you were gone, I was sick with worry. I started contacting every pack within five hundred miles, searching. No one knew who you guys were. No pack claimed your family so I made it my mission to check each pack, in case they were hiding you from me. It’s been two years. There hasn’t been one day that’s past without me thinking of you, wondering where you were.”

  We are both quiet for a while. I still have questions, but I know he didn’t walk away and forget me like I assumed. The sky’s darkening, stars twinkling in the twilight. When the silence is finally broken, he whispers, “will you stay here tonight? We still have a lot to talk about. I could make us some dinner?”

  “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. Where’s your girlfriend?” I start to stand. “I mean I don’t think she’d be very happy with this.” Standing now, I point to the lap I was just in.

  “You still don’t understand.” He shakes his head. “Come on, I need to feed you.” He tucks my hand under his arm and leads me back inside.

  MASEN

  Casper reluctantly leaves the room. “Hey!” I hear him shout but don’t care anymore. I’m too worried about why she hasn’t woken up yet. I watch her breasts rise and fall as she slowly breaths. Her dark lashes fan her cheeks. She seems peaceful, relaxed.

  Eventually her eyes flutter open, and she screams, pulls herself back away from me so fast it’s a blur. I see what Michael meant; she is really fast. I’m just stuck staring at her when she starts talking a mile a minute. She is so beautiful her long hair wild around her, cheeks flushed from exertion. Her amber eyes are large and alert. Her slight drawl makes me yearn to hear my name fall from her lips or maybe scream it while I’m buried deep inside her. I’m watching her lips when I realize she asked me where Casper is. He’s not going to be anywhere you are little one; I think to myself. All I hear is her saying is she’s trying to leave. I’m running through all the ways of keeping her here over and over. When she finally stops, she looks at me for the first time; I mean really looks at me. Her eyes dilate and her breathing changes. She breaths in deep, pulling my scent. Her back arches slightly; then she licks her full bottom lip. It’s
obvious she likes what she sees. It feels like a small victory; I want to celebrate. I settle for a brief inhale of her neck and whisper I’ll get her some water.

  When I stand to go to the bar, I hear Cass and Roxanne yelling. What the fuck is she still doing here? I leave the room to find out what’s going on. When I find them both in the kitchen, the conversation is heated. Cass is telling her to get out, and Roxanne keeps saying I need her. That she wants to be here for me. I stand there debating on just leaving them both and going back to Sophia. When I hear Cass say he found her lurking in hall listening to us talk, I have my answer. Jesus has she always been this bad?

  “Casper, stop.” He’s quiet while Roxanne starts crying softly; she sniffles and starts to walk towards me looking for comfort. She thinks because I told Cass to stop I’ve taken her side. I’ll let her think that long enough to find out how much she heard. I don’t want people knowing about how I met Sophia before she shifted. I’m starting to suspect there’s something different about her. I need to know what that is so I can protect her if need be.

  Before she reaches me, I ask in a disappointed tone, “Roxy, were you listening at the door while I was talking to Cass?” I use the nickname I haven’t called her in a very long time to soften her. I want answers.

  Her head drops in a submissive manner. “Yes Mase, I was. I just needed to make sure you were okay. I’ve never seen you threaten Cass. I don’t know who that girl is. Is she trying to come between you and your family? That’s not right, Mase. I just needed...need. I need you, Mase. I love you so much I’ve been waiting for you to settle down for years. Please tell me you still want me, tell me it’s not over?” She begs.

  “Roxanne, listen. I need you not to repeat anything you heard here today. It’s very important. Michael and Casper are the only two people who know the full story, so if I hear a word about how Sophia and I met I’ll know it was you.” There’s a threat there whether she hears it or not; I’m not sure.

  She still has hope that I’d chose her. I can see the wheels turning, analyzing everything I’m saying. I’ll let her think whatever she wants as long as she keeps her mouth closed. I look directly into her eyes so she knows what I’m about to say is serious. “No one Roxanne, not your sister, not your friends, not a stranger. No one, do you understand?”

  She nods her head eagerly. “Yes, Mase. I understand.”

  “I need you to go, now. I have a lot of things to figure out.”

  She runs her long nails over my lower stomach almost dipping under my waistband before she adds, “If you need me, just call or come over, okay. I can help you with anything.”

  Lucky for me, my brother kept his mouth shut the whole time. He must have realized what I was doing. I hope he knows. I don’t want him running to Sophia to tell her I’m keeping Roxanne on the side. I don’t think that’s even possible once you’re Mated, but she might not know that.

  “Casper, you know I only handled her that way because I don’t want people knowing how different Sophia is right?” Before he can answer, I say, “I need to make sure she’s safe. If everybody knew she was different, it might be a problem. Sid called me when you guys drove through the pack property , said quite a few of the fellas were all worked up by her scent even unmated, married men.”

  “I get it man. I don’t like it, but I get it. I don’t know what you ever saw in her away but a lay. she and her sister are power hungry bitches!”

  I grab a water and head back to my little Mate. “She’s awake. I heard you guys and wanted to make sure she left for good this time. I’m going to tell her everything. I hope she gives me a chance to make it up to her.”

  Cass starts rubbing the back of his neck, and I know I’m not going to like what he’s about to say, “listen if she needs me, fuck man stop growling at me, I’m just saying if this is all too much at one time, and she needs a friend. I can be that, only that. Okay? I know it must be hard having her unmarked and around me, well any man really, but I know my boundaries. I would never, never try anything. You’re my brother; I love you,” he says seriously, “It helps to know you wouldn’t hesitate to kill me either.” He chuckles.

  “Thank you Casper, but I would hesitate for like half a second.” I laugh darkly.

  When I walk into the living room, it’s empty, and I panic. I drop the water and find her scent. I follow it back to the kitchen. I was gone so long she probably came to look for me. Fuck, I’m so distracted how did I miss her standing in the hall. Oh no, did she hear me with Roxanne? I need to find her. Why the hell do I have such a big fucking house? Oh yeah, you built it for her dumbass. I follow her scent to the game room, but I pass it. She’s not there. Further down, the home theater, not there either. The last place she could be in this wing is my room. Yes, good, pants my wolf, the greedy bastard. My body follows my wolf’s lead, and I’m hard and aching.

  Her little body hits my chest as she comes flying out my bedroom door. I reach out to grab her arms before she has a chance to fall backwards.

  “Ouch, you should warn people they’re about to collide with an immoveable object.” My hands are on her. I want very badly to pull her to me and kiss her sassy mouth. Watching her lips, “point me to my jeep, Big Guy?”

  Damn she’s trying to leave again. I ask with a growl why she was in my room. I’m about to snap. I want her! She’s retreating, looking behind her. She’s thinking about running. Oh fuck, if she runs, I won’t be able to stop my wolf. He’ll take her when he catches her; I know he will. “Don’t run little one. I can tell you want to. Neither of us is ready for what will happen when I catch you.” Calm, I need to calm myself. She’s still looking to flee. “You,” I state, “aren’t going anywhere!”

  I splay my hand across her lower back. She speeds up and then stops, forcing my hand harder against her back. She asks me to lead so I reach down for her hand, but it’s so tiny in mine I’m afraid I’ll mash it. When she pulls away, I grab her hand and tuck it into my elbow. I like touching her. My wolf is content, for now.

  I pull a chair for her to sit. She’s looking at me standing there, then goes to pull out another. I move behind her, placing my hand on her neck not even realizing the dominance it shows.

  “Take your hand from my neck, now!” She growls. I’ve never had a female question my authority, but this tiny little creature does. I’m rock hard again; my Wolf wants to show her what an Alpha is.

  Slowly, oh so slowly, I remove my fingers. I can’t help my body’s reaction to her. I move in closer. Touching her is the best kind of pain. I want so much more than she’s ready to give. When she gasps and stiffens, I know I’ve gone to far. Moving away, I apologize.

  Finally, she lets me seat her. I ask her to tell me about her family, when it all happened. When she mentions the name she’s given Cass, I rethink letting him live, and when I hear the story behind the name, I maim him about a hundred different ways in my head for getting so close to her.

  I’m shocked when I find out how soon she lost her parents after I found her, but when she tells me she waited for me to come for her, my heart breaks. I’m reminded how selfish I’ve been when she tells me she still doesn’t know my name.

  Everything I say either comes out wrong or sounds horrible. With every word I utter, the hurt in her eyes compounds. When a few tears escape her eyes, I can no longer just sit here. I have to make it better. I pick her up and take her to my swing where I can hold her and explain how we got in this fucked up situation.

  Hours later I think she finally understands, but when I ask her to stay, she asks where my girlfriend is. I realize she still doesn’t get it. We both need a break from shredding our souls. So we head inside to hopefully get comfortable and eat.

  The kitchen is huge, like run a small restaurant huge. The cabinets are rustic looking ivory with touches of black showing through here and there. The stove is twice the size of a normal range. It has two ovens next to each other, six burners on top, and a raised flat griddle. Yowzers, now that’s a stove. I’m
sitting at a large island in the middle of the kitchen. Masen brought a high back stool over from the breakfast bar ten feet away. “Like you close” is all he says when I ask why don’t I just sit over there. So here I am, while he rummages through the fridge looking for food.

  “I have some left overs in here. I’m not really the greatest cook. Usually, Molly makes dinner a few nights a week,” He says sheepishly.

  Molly, who the hell is Molly? How many woman does he have? Are they on rotation? “Ahh no, I don’t want your Molly’s food!” I scoff.

  He turns to face me. “She’s not my Molly; she’s William’s Molly. She is however a trusted friend. She cleans and cooks for me a few days a week. Her Mate was injured by a rogue seven years ago. He’s scared, so he doesn’t leave pack land much. I pay her enough working a few hours a week to send her children to college.” He shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal.

  “Sorry. That wasn’t very nice of me. Why don’t I have a look? I enjoy cooking.” Letting my brain have a break from all this is just a bonus.

  Masen’s fridge is full; I just need to decide what to make. He’s standing two feet to my left and has been since I stood up. I tested it by walking to the pantry. He stays the same distance anytime I move. I’m thinking about breaking out into a dance to see if he’d follow that. A small laughs leaks out when I get a visual.

  “What are you laughing at, Little One?”

  Now, I really laugh because there’s no way I’m telling him. “Just thinking, Masen. Don’t worry, I’m not going to poison you,” I tease. “Any requests?”

  He quickly answers, “I want you to make what you made Cass so I can tell him to shut up about how good it was and about how you cooked for him. Oh, and I need dessert. Cass got cake.”

  Is he serious? By the self satisfied smile he’s wearing, I think he is. “Who knew the Alpha was such a baby?” I coo to him.

  His smile falls. Oh I was just joking. He look so cute and full of himself. “Hey Big Guy, I’m just teasing. Guess what?” I raise my brows waiting for him to respond.