“This appears a strange fact, but I shall not reject the word of fellow gentleman as false, should I? And what was the reason for your visit, Sir Ermete?”, I inquired
“It is my keen desire to exchange ideas with you…”, he begun, but I cut him short, impatiently
“I take your word for it”, was my mocking reply, “since you sought to have such an exchange at this utmost early time of the day”
“I believed…”, Ricco Ermete started to mumble as a disobedient brat caught stealing jam
“I believed I could have interrupted your work had I come later on during the day. However, I shall call again at your convenience, if you wish”, he then concluded with some more assurance
This man is either impertinent beyond belief or else he must be honest, I thought, stunned at his persistence.
“I shall apologize for asking that we meet at a later time, but I have to attend to tasks that cannot wait”, I said with a tone gentler than before
“I certainly respect your duties”, Ricco Ermete replied with a gracious bow
“Please send me a note, Sir Ermete, and we shall agree on a time for a fruitful discussion”, I said, and closed the door of the laboratory behind me with what I intended as a polite smile
If the man had honest intentions, why not send me a note in the first place instead of intruding in my laboratory the way he had? If Ricco Ermete is not dishonest he is very odd indeed. Oh reader, I count on your spirit of observation to discern the real facts from those weaved by my imagination, whenever this story will find its way to you!
I was disturbed by the bothersome encounter with the man, and yet determined not to let what happened divert my attention from the experiment I had planned for the day. After a thorough analysis of the laboratory to ensure that was missing, I arranged all the equipment required to subject to the proof of water the white powder serendipitously born from the encounter between mercury and hydrogen cyanide.
Recalling how hydrogen cyanide had nearly killed me by spreading its poisonous whiffs in the laboratory, I propped open a small window and set myself up for my chemical adventure. Pungent fingers of gelid air reached through the bars of the window, pressing their humid touch on my face.
Indifferent to their wicked caresses, I spread a small amount of my white precious powder to water, slowly and with loving care, and I trembled in tense expectation of the unexpected, of the unpredictable event that ignites the scientific minds! And I was rewarded! The white powder evolved into a chameleon, into tongues the colour of fire, carmine and yellow and orange, and the tongues expanded, and the liquid bubbled into frenzied life! And when all the energy freed itself, spending itself into an acrid fume, the tongues turned from red to amethyst, then to a deep blue, and finally dissolved in diaphanous sapphire shades. My intellect could not as yet decipher the origin of the transformations and explain their meaning, and yet how profoundly delighted I was at the marvellous dance of the elements, at the symphony of their revolutions!
Having begun my work at such an early hour, it was only midday when I completed my experiments. Although electrified by the spectacle I had assisted to and eager to subject the powder to the proof of air, I had nonetheless an undeniable appetite. I thus headed to a nearby tavern, marching happily in the air illuminated by the solar sphere. But at a turn I caught a glimpse of a woman and my breath stopped and my heart began pounding as an earthquake pounds, shattering the earth and all bodies within it. Iryssa!, I thought, and madly hastened my pace to follow her. But as I took the turn the woman had taken I realized that I had been under the spell of a deceitful delusion, and that the woman was not Iryssa after all.
My soul turned blank and I suddenly felt lost amid the known street, as a man whose memory has failed him does not know how to orient his steps or recognize faces and places and objects he once held dear. I walked and walked, oblivious of the meal I had longed for, desiring and fearing to see my read headed Iryssa. I walked till the dusk fell, moving in circles around her apothecary shop without daring to enter it, and finally I went home in the vain hope that she might have addressed me a note.
But there is not a line from Iryssa, not a word, just the scent of her memory, lingering within me as an ineffable perfume, tormenting every fiber of my wasted self.
Chapter 13: Iris Luna
This morning I walked to the lab at 5 a.m. with a plan in mind and a number of experiments lined up for the day. When I entered it I was immersed in my own thoughts about the work to do, and at first I didn’t notice Otto’s presence. As I was about to hang my coat I caught sight of him and started, because I hadn’t expected to find him there at such an early hour. Otto was not exactly an early bird, and I never began work that early myself. But for some reason I woke up with a zest that outshined the doubts and anguishes that had shaded my mind in the last days. Otto seemed startled too, and in his alarmed reaction there was more than just surprise…perhaps you might think I imagine too much, and yet he was crouching in front of the fridge, holding my samples while reading some notes I had scribbled on loose papers and then copied on my notebook. I don’t think he could make much out of those papers without the rest of my annotations and the lab book I had in my bag, but he seemed to be trying very hard.
“Good morning”, I said
Otto froze for a moment
“Good morning, you are early today!”, he exclaimed, recovering from his stupor
“So are you”, I replied dryly, “is there anything I can help you with?”
Otto Hermes looked at me with simulated surprise, and I felt a surge of anger dwell within me. How can you be so shameless? I asked him in my mind. I had seen him snooping in my lab book before and I hadn’t given the fact much importance, but now wasn’t it obvious that he was trying to intrude in my work in shady ways?
“The notes you are reading and the samples you are holding are mine…or am I mistaken?”, I insisted, trying to keep my voice from shivering with anger
And Otto grinned
“Oh yes, I was curious to know what you had discovered. You were so excited the other day, I thought I’d check to see if you had figured out the composition of your molecule at last. Have you?”, he said
I was stunned, either he was in good faith or he really had no shame!
“I was just curious…”, he iterated
“I am still working on it”, I said
“I hear you, answers never come easy, do they? Well, you’ll get there, I am sure”, Otto told me with the most supportive attitude he could feign
What game is he playing?
“By the way, how was the rest of the evening yesterday? I am sorry I left abruptly, there was something I had completely forgotten about…”, Otto said apologetically
“You are quite the mystery man”, I said ironically, my tone hard but my mind slipping in a direction I feared.
Cesare Mercurio, Cesar Mercury…who was the man? I was desperate to know and I was desperate to see him again. But why? Why? I was not the type of woman who lost her mind easily for someone, but this man…there was something more to this man than I could understand.
Otto Hermes laughed heartily, and, once again, his nonchalance confused me.
“I see you might want to start working, so I will leave you to your science”, he said, misinterpreting my expression
“Yes…”, I said, lowering my eyes, abstracted in my thoughts
Otto said something I cannot recall and left, wishing me good luck. Good luck…
I sat in the lab for a while, in a vain attempt to recollect myself and get to work. I opened the fridge to look at my samples, I read my lab book to regain my inspiration. But it was all vain. Try harder, I told myself. But no, it really was all vain.
Suddenly I stood and grabbed my lab coat from the hanger with crazed frenzy. I packed my bag and walked out with hasty steps. I didn’t know where I was heading. I wasn’t going anywhere specific, I just walked. I walked in the dusky streets and when the rain begun to fal
l I walked nonetheless, and I walked when the thin drops grew and turned into an outburst of water, pure sorrow pouring from the sky. I walked in the mad hope of seeing Cesar Mercury at some corner, and I walked to smoulder my indomitable passions, without success. I roamed the city drenched to the bones, till the dusk that had welcomed my early awakening dawned into my evening. Then I dragged myself back to my attic, my feet aching, my body battered, my spirit exhausted and yet still in prey of uncontrollable convulsions.
And now here I am, my ears tense to detect any sign from the phone, tormented by the inane wish of a sign from this man who is so close and yet so far, as a melody resonating from a long gone past.
Chapter 14: Cesare Mercurio
This morning I awoke to the rising day with a great tempest raging within me, my soul sloshed to and fro as a boat shaken by waves of love and hatred, desire and anger. The air was stiffened by a mordant cold, unusual even for this wintery season, and my skin froze as I opened the window to freshen my room and my mind. All the better, this bitterness of the elements serves me well!, I thought, deciding to take a long walk in the park and freeze the boiling in my blood. When I reached it I slowed my pace, and for the first time since I set foot outside I noticed the poetic flavour of this early morning. The brine had impearled the grass and the tress, which lay with immobile magical beauty, as the dusk lifted giving way to a diaphanous blue sky, cloudless. I lifted my head and for one perfect instant I felt whole, deeply fulfilled to be where I was. Indeed my feelings were feminine! Indeed they were! Do we man perhaps have two souls within us, one of which is active since our birth, while the other one has its manifestation in the woman we seek? Were my feminine feelings nothing but the anticipation, the signal, of the moment to come? Were they the vibrations emanating from the wondrous apparition waiting for me?
And when I lowered my gaze there she was, sitting on a bench, her hair falling on her back in curls of ebullient red. I was seeing only her back, but from her posture, immobile and composed, she seemed immersed in deep thoughts. As I saw Iryssa every organ within me immobilized for an instant, before melting, my joy exploding in all directions, my heart accelerating, my body sizzling with warmth and my mind throbbing with such intense happiness the tension was almost unbearable!
Iryssa, I whispered ever so lightly it was impossible to even the most sensitive ear to detect my voice. And yet Iryssa turned towards me, because of the silent communication between our souls, as I can state with the certainty of a man of science! She smiled, and in that smile I could read that she had been waiting for me, knowing I would come. Iryssa, I said again, this time with an audible voice. She walked towards me and took me by the hand, as if it were natural to do so.
We walked awhile hand in hand with our heartbeats as sole words. I let Iryssa guide me, as a docile infant trusts his mother to lead him and lets his thoughts wander as playful confetti on a festive day. We reached a small lake, where swans sat, their sinuous necks tucked in the white softness of their plumage, and where the flexuous branches of naked willows dipped their tips in the frosty water. Iryssa stopped, embracing the view with a fond gaze. Then she turned to look at me, her eyes locked into mine. And I felt peaceful.
Time stretched endlessly. When a bird sang we awoke, and laughed in unison at our awakening. I approached Iryssa, slowly, not out of hesitation but because of the wish to extend the perfection of this instant beyond its time. Ah, what a delicate perfume Iryssa’a skin emanated! It was the perfume of spring, of gentle flowers and open meadows! And her lips! How marvellous was their sensuous softness, their warmth after the initial freshness, their tender flavour of honey and milk! In this kiss I reached perfection, the unity of my soul with its missing half. Iryssa and I were the Philosopher’s stone, the unsurpassed object of all quests.
Then Iryssa detached herself from me, and I was lost again.
“I shall leave now”, she said, then added, seeing my sadness, “We will always find each other, do not let your heart be anguished at this temporary departure”
She smiled again, taking a small package from her pocket and handing it to me. I took it, my mind numb and my instinctive gests taking the lead where my thoughts failed. Iryssa nodded, as if approving my sensible behaviour, and walked away without turning.
I stood there with the package in my hand, and watched her silhouette turn distant and small, and finally disappear behind a group of trees. I suddenly realized it was bitterly cold, and I shivered in the white loneliness of the sad winter.
I opened the package. There was a flower in it, a pressed forget-me-not, blue even now that it had been dried. I smelled it, and I detected or imagined the notes of Iryssa’s perfume. I held the flower close to me, as tears rolled down my cheeks, shamelessly, as if my virile self was nothing but a ghost who had deserted my body.
A breath of wind spurred the dormant leaves lying on the ground and the branches of the trees, it rippled the surface of the lake and stirred my frozen mind. How could I find myself in such a state? Should I not feel elated at the confirmation of Iryssa’s love for me? And shouldn’t the kiss I received fulfill me for life, even if it were the last one?
I tucked the package in my coat’s pocket. The laboratory, of course! That was the place to go, the trustworthy refuge for my mind and the panacea for my confounding passions! I thus headed there, riveted in an alternation of mirth and melancholy.
But alas! What is more painful than seeing one’s refuge profaned, not once but twice? This time, oh reader, there was no legitimate doubt about what I have seen! When I walked into the laboratory there he was, once again, the scoundrel! Ricco Ermete was holding samples in his hands and had one in his the pocket of his jacket! When he saw me he stopped short, not knowing what to do. This time his intent was as clear as the polar star in the night sky and even his evil tongue was incapable of sugary lies!
“Return what you have taken, you ignorant half-man!”, I shouted, along with other epithets I cannot recall, bloated as I was by uncontrollable anger
Ricco Ermete stood there, still and speechless.
“Have you heard my words or are your auditive organs as malfunctioning as your rotten mind?”, I insisted relentlessly
Ricco Ermete placed the samples he was holding in his hands on the table.
“What do you have in your pocket? Do you believe I am blind?”, I said with vehemence
Ricco Ermete produced the sample from his pocket.
“Do not move!”, I yelled, taking a walk stick that was resting on the table
Ricco Ermes stood there helplessly, what a coward! I ran the stick along his body, moving his jacket away and checking for any samples he might have on him.
“I shall use this stick to avoid soiling my hands by coming in contact with you, infectious waste”, I explained icily
This statement seemed to have some effect on the scoundrel, as he reacted at last and said, “You have grossly misinterpreted my actions”
“Oh! Have I?”, I replied irately
“Sir, I would have informed you about my presence in your laboratory and…”, he began
“Enough! Enough!”, I roared, my voice shaking the walls as an unforgiving thunder
“Leave, leave or I shall not be responsible for my actions!”, I yelled, brandishing the stick in my hands and pushing Ricco Ermete to the door
He backed up sheepishly, but at a moment he glanced at me, as a perfidious viper looks at its victim, immobile and yet ready to deliver its poison.
I know this man will return, and you, oh wise reader, shall carry the memory of who this traitor is! I do not fear for myself, but for my science and for Iryssa. Alas, the thought of my precious creations falling in unworthy hands in unbearable for me! And Iryssa…she is aquatinted with this man and I shall warn her against him.
The apothecary shop was closed today and I roamed the streets in the futile attempt to find a trace of Iryssa. I looked in every corner where I thought she could be. Even though I am not acquainted with
her habits in any way, I hoped I might retrieve her, led by the spiritual connection that had manifested itself in the park this morning. And yet my quest had no avail…
I wrote these pages to leave a trace of the facts, but tomorrow I shall find Iryssa without hesitation! If she will ever be beguiled by this man, if she is ever harmed by him…ah, I shall find her tomorrow at all costs!
Chapter 15: Iris Luna
My night was populated by dreams which blurred in my mind as soon as my eyes opened. But I do recall that Cesar Mercury was incessantly present in my night, inspiring longing, desire, and anger depending on the role he played. I woke up disquiet and haunted by my visions, cursing my febrile state of mind and the lack of control over myself. I hastily drank a cup of warm milk sweetened with honey and stepped out of my attic, determined to cleanse my thoughts with a brisk morning walk. I let my steps roam freely for a while, without any given destination, but when I approached the park I am most fond of in the city, I aimed at it with intent. It was pungently cold this morning, but instead of darkening I rejoiced in the immobile beauty of the frozen air. It rendered the atmosphere of the park magic, one could almost imagine that Sleeping Beauty was waiting in a nearby castle for her awakening. Everything was covered with a thin sheath of brine, but when I found a bench I sat on it, uncaring of the chilled moisture coating its surface. I sat there awhile, as a sense of inner peace spread within me.
The thought of Cesar Mercury still floated within me. The resentment I had felt earlier had disappeared, giving way to a warm sense of empathy for this man I barely knew and yet felt so close to me.
Then, Iris, I heard at my back. I wondered if I had imagined it, since my name had been whispered with the lightest voice. I turned around and saw him, Cesar Mercury! Iris, he called out again, this time with a louder voice. My happiness was too great for words, and so I took Cesar by the hand and led him to the lake, my lake, the soothing refuge I visited whenever I longed for moments of quiet meditation. And there, in front of that lake, his mouth sank into mine, salty and sensuously plump, as his spicy perfume danced in voluptuous whisks around our united selves. I felt whole as I never had before, and time and space lost meaning as our kiss stretched into infinity.
Forget Me Not Page 6
