by Frankie Love
I hate to see him this way and I feel like an idiot for not telling him about Asher sooner. But I had to meet him first, make sure he is a solid man, a safe person to be around Asher. And now that I know he is, the pressure is so high. He is dying and introducing him to his child before he goes... it feels cruel.
"How sick are you, Dane? The news said you had kidney failure. I looked it up online, are you getting dialysis or..."
"I've been getting dialysis for the last six months. It's doing nothing. I could die at any fucking moment. And what do I have to show for it? I own a billion dollar company and don't even have a child to pass my money on to. What kind of person has no family?"
"I'm so sorry. I hate that you've been alone through all this."
"Then don't leave. What could mean more than us? Than what could be... or at least, what we could have been."
I try to say it. I try to say the words. But the words feel wrong. I should have brought Asher with me, even if it's painful knowing he is going to die. It would be easier if he were in my arms and Dane could see his face.
It would be so obvious, so crystal clear he's his father. Tomorrow, I can bring Asher to him and show him his son. At least this way he will die knowing he has a legacy.
"I have to go. Trust me. Tomorrow my whole day is yours. I promise. But I have to go do something right now," I say as he crosses his arms in frustration. "Don't be angry with me. I promise, when I see you again it will make sense. You will be so happy. You'll be so..." I stop because maybe he won't be happy. Maybe this will kill him.
"Whatever you have to do, I understand. You don’t need to explain anything to me, Dottie. I’m just so glad we had today.”
I pull on my dress and reach for his hand. "I’ll be back, I swear.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Dottie. I feel so goddamn lucky to have had any time with you at all. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. My mother would have loved you.”
His words bring tears back to the surface. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. “Was she a good woman?”
He smiles softly, memories washing over him. “The best. You know, the day we met in Miami, was the anniversary of her and my father’s death. I was so sad that day, missing them. Then I saw you, wearing those big black sunglasses. My mom wore sunglasses like that. And it pulled me to you. I knew you were different. And I was right. Dottie, whatever happens next, know this, I will always treasure you.”
“This isn’t goodbye, Dane,” I tell him, my heart brimming with emotion. Dane may have had a colorful past, but my heart breaks over the fact that he can’t have an even brighter future.
“Until next time, then,” he says, pulling me in for a final kiss.
And with that, I slip out the door of his office, knowing when I return, I will change his life.
Chapter 10
Dottie left a message, telling me tomorrow morning she wants to meet me at my house.
Of course, I want to spend the whole night with her, but I didn't fight her on it because I know it's more important for me to take care of myself. Doctor's orders. Especially, after the fuck fest today—I gave Dottie all I had to give, and I savored every moment of her body next to mine. Her pussy was as perfect as I remembered, and when she wrapped her mouth around my cock I thought I might drown in pleasure.
It's hard to sleep, I'm anxious and scared. And I toss and turn all night long, wishing that just one of those people who had been calling my office all day would've been my long-lost brother. Thomas left after the hit-and-run, and I haven’t seen him since. Most of the time, I'm glad a selfish fucker like him isn't in my life, but right now, for selfish reasons, I wish I had him back.
I'd do anything for a kidney. How was I supposed to know kidney disease had been passed down from my parents? My parents died when I was young and I know nothing about their medical history.
I hate that my brother left the way he did, and with him gone, there will be nothing left of the Westbrook name.
An entire family -- gone.
This last year taught me so much about what kind of man I could be. I know it's sick to dream about a life with Dottie... but I've imagined it so many times since the day we met. I imagine buying her a beautiful home, rooms full of laughter and our children. A life that is full of love. I won't get that fantasy, but I do get the honor of seeing her again. And that is more than I expected to get.
She says she's coming to my house after nine, and knowing that helps me fall asleep—a fucking miracle, all things considered. I'm glad she's coming here, I want her to see this place because after we made love all day yesterday, I called my lawyer and changed my will.
I'm leaving everything to her, every last dime. Every last cent.
I may not have told her I loved her because maybe that's foolish to do after you’ve known someone less than a day, but I know enough. I know I want to give Dottie everything.
When I wake up though, I don't feel right. I'm lethargic and parched and I know something is really wrong. I call my doctor, and before I know what's happening I'm in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
Of all days, of all months. All the years of my life. Now is the time my body is calling it quits?
It doesn't matter how strong you are or how much money you have. We have one life, one body. And none of us are immortal. I've been on the kidney donor list for months... but no matter how much of a priority I am, there hasn't been a match. No amount of money can legally get me what I need to live.
At the end of it all, I'm just a man. A man who wishes to be with the woman of his dreams. A man who wishes he had a life left to live. And now I am in a hospital bed, hooked up to medication attempting to reverse the sepsis, but without a kidney, nothing can be reversed.
"I'm so sorry, Dane," Dr. Morrow says as he enters my hospital room. "But I think it's time for you to make some calls."
How is this possible? How can a man go so fast? I feel weak, my blood is thick, my eyes are heavy. I know I'm going to die. My secretary Carla is here, and I tell her to call Dottie. To call her now.
If I'm gonna die, I want to end my life looking in her eyes.
Chapter 11
The morning has been a disaster. I haven't slept more than three hours straight, so I'm a train wreck.
Thankfully, Lexi came over early this morning with reinforcements. Bagels and lattes.
Best friends are better than sex, almost. I mean, yesterday pretty much ruined me for any other men for the rest of my life.
Looks like Dane Westbrook is my one and only.
"Okay, I'll just run out and grab some Tylenol. I think Asher's slept so poorly because he's teething."
Lexi grimaces. "The subways are down, I read it on the news this morning. A bunch of issues with some of the tracks."
"How did you get here?" I asked.
"I drove. Oh, actually you should just take my car. It will save you time. You can get to that Super Target in like four minutes flat and it's free parking. It's better than taking Asher out of the car when he’s in meltdown mode."
"How do you know all these things, Lexi?" I ask, grabbing my purse.
"I may not be a mom yet, but I'm good at taking care of you."
"I'll give you that," I say, finishing my latte. "You're good at convincing me what to do. I think if you hadn’t told me I had to go to Dane yesterday, I would have chickened out. And yet, yesterday was the best decision I've ever made."
"Yeah, but we both know what decision you didn't make. I still can't believe you didn't tell him." Lexi was shocked that I didn't tell Dane yesterday... but I know introducing him to his child face-to-face will be so much more meaningful.
"I didn't want to tell him in an office."
Lexi snorts. "Yet you had no problem fucking him in the office."
"True." I let out a sigh. "I'm trying not to think about how sad this all is, every time I do, I start to cry. It’s crazy to feel so strongly for a man I barely know... but Lexi, he is my soulma
te. I just know it. We go together. And yet..." Tears start falling down my face. “He is so tender with me, and I’ve always worked so hard, keeping things together on my own. But when I’m with Dane, I feel like I wouldn’t be in anything alone. He would be in it with me. He sees me as I am.” I crumble again as sobs wrack me.
"Oh, sweetie," Lexi says, pulling me into a hug. "It's okay to get a little crazy when you are falling in love... and this situation is so..."
"Tragic?"
Lexi nods, wiping the tears from her own eyes. "Yeah, it really is." Taking a deep breath she squeezes my shoulders. "You better go, go get your baby Tylenol, we will sit tight here until you get back."
"Thank you," I say, slinging my purse over my shoulder and tucking my phone in my coat pocket. "You know how Asher gets at the store."
Asher gets like every seven month-old: needy and clingy and hungry. All at the same time.
"I'll be back in 30 minutes."
I grab the Tylenol at Target and even find myself leafing through the lingerie rack. Not exactly designer, but it is in my budget. I grab a lacy bra, still semi-mortified that Dane saw me in a nursing bra yesterday. Thankfully I don't think he noticed. I thought it was smart of me to flip off the lights before he saw my stretch marks.
Though with the way he touched me and caressed me and made love to me, I honestly don't think he would mind any scarring on my body at all.
When he touched me, I felt beautiful.
By the time I'm back in my car, only eighteen minutes have passed. Super mom, right here folks. I exhale knowing that I can get through this day.
As I pull out of the parking lot, my phone starts ringing and I see a number from Westbrook Incorporated.
My heart sinks as I answer the call on speakerphone.
"Dottie? It's Carla, Dane's secretary. There's been an emergency. He's at the hospital, right now and—"
She doesn't need to say more.
"Manhattan General?" I ask.
"Yes. He's on the fourth floor."
"I'll be right there," I tell her. I end the call, my hands shaking, tears already running down my face.
I drive. I drive without thinking. I drive right toward the hospital knowing I have to see him. I have to see him now.
As I drive I remember Asher. And Lexi. Tylenol. I'm in her car. How could I be so irresponsible?
That's when I remember I never even called in sick today. I am all over the place, such an uncharacteristic fucking mess. How did my life go from being so normal to being so out of control so quickly?
It doesn't matter right now. Right now, I just need to get to that hospital and see Dane and make sure he's okay.
"Lexi?" I say, calling her on speakerphone.
"Something must be wrong," she says immediately. "You never call me. Texting only."
"I know, and something is wrong. Really, really wrong."
"Okay, what is it?"
Before I can answer, a car runs a stop sign and slams into the hood of Lexi’s car. My eyes close, I scream as the car spins, as glass shatters.
This is it. I'm going to die.
And then as if the universe has given me this tiny slice of a miracle, my eyes open. The car stops moving.
I'm alive.
The car did not explode and I did not perish. I'm alive.
It seems like mere seconds pass before first responders open the car door and help me out. The other car, the car that came out of nowhere and hit me, is totaled. An ambulance is here, a man is on a stretcher.
"Is he okay?" I ask. "Is he alright?" I ask, pointing toward the man being carried into the ambulance.
The officer shakes his head, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders.
I shake my head as he leads me to an ambulance. "I need to get to the hospital."
"That's right, that's where we're headed, to make sure you're okay."
I try to explain that I need to get to the hospital for Dane, not for me, but they don't listen.
They put me in an ambulance and take me to Manhattan General.
I guess the universe knew where I needed to end up after all.
"I need to call my friend," I tell the emergency room nurse.
"Of course, dear. Just fill out this medical form and I'll get you a phone."
"I can't fill out anything right now." Lexi must be worried sick. Thank goodness, I was in the car alone. If I'd brought Asher with me...
I squeeze my eyes shut, the thought making me ill. I blink back the tears, how this is my life, I don't know. The doctor has already cleared me, I was questioned by a police officer, and I just need to get to the fourth floor.
"Fine," I say, knowing arguing with this woman is not going to get me where I need to go. "Just give me the paperwork."
Twenty minutes later I am given access to a phone—my purse and phone still in Lexi's totaled car.
I explain everything to Lexi, who's been freaking out all morning.
"I'm so glad you're okay, Dottie. I was so scared."
"I know, it's awful. I'm just so glad I'm alive... the other guy though... he is in bad shape."
"He lived though?"
"Yes, thank God. I don't want to imagine..." I start crying, my emotions in overdrive. "Can you bring Asher to the hospital? I'm on my way to see Dane."
"Of course, he's been sleeping for over an hour. Do you want me to wake him up?"
I bite my bottom lip. Remembering how hard a night he had, teething and never getting his Tylenol.
"Let him finish his nap, I'll get upstairs, see Dane, and call with an update. I have no idea what condition he is in, okay?"
"That makes sense. Stay strong, Dottie. Asher and I will be there as soon as you need us."
I nod, knowing she's right, but also knowing this entire day has been out of my control.
I know I look like a hot mess when I walk into his hospital room, but when I see him sitting up in bed, relief floods my face and every cell in my body.
"Dottie," he says breathlessly. His words sound shallow, his eyes dark, his face swollen.
How in the space of a day did a strong man become this?
As if reading my mind, he says, "Sepsis. Never sexy."
"Dane, I'm so sorry," I say rushing to him, reaching for his hand and pressing my lips to it. Words fail me, and I shake my head, brushing away the tears. But Dane, even in this state, is as steady as ever.
Grounding me in the moment. This morning, I thought of him as my soul mate... and other people may not understand that... but as I look into his darkening eyes, I know it is true.
He is mine.
I am his.
And yet... he's dying.
"At least we had yesterday," he says softly. "And Miami."
"Dane, we also had..." I start, ready to tell him about his son, knowing there may not be more time. But before I can finish my sentence a doctor rushes in the hospital room.
"Dane, a man was admitted to the emergency room. He was just in an accident, he ran a stop sign and totaled another woman's car, and he's dead—"
I gasp. "He's dead? I was just down there and the nurse told me he was... oh God." I cover my mouth, sobs escaping me. If I hadn't been there when I was, he wouldn't have hit me... he could have survived.
"Why are you telling us this, doctor," Dane asks exhausted as if the mention of more death is breaking him down.
The doctor looks at us as if the words leaving his lips stun even him. "You'll never believe it."
"What?" Dane asks in a subdued voice as if nothing in the world could surprise him now.
Little does he know I have a surprise that he will never expect. I have a secret baby. His secret baby.
But then the doctor smiles, and I don't understand why. Why smile at a time like this? "The man in the wreck?" the doctor says. "He is your brother."
Chapter 12
My doctor's words stun the room into silence.
"We need to move quickly," the doctor states. "He was an organ donor, and his dying words w
ere that he was Dane Westbrook's brother, he was coming to New York to see you."
"But the donor list..." I say, working hard to breathe. The medication I am on is fogging things... Yet my doctor's words manage to come out clearly. "I'd have to be at the top of—"
The doctor cuts me off. "You're dying today without this kidney. You've been moved to the top of the list. And Thomas is a perfect match."
Dottie reaches for my hand, squeezing it tight. "Oh, Dane," she says, gasping at the words the doctor has spoken. Words that breathe life into a deadly situation.
"We must move immediately," my doctor explains. "There is no time to waste, you're already at the cusp of being too far gone for this to work."
"It's a risk then?" Dottie asks.
"It's a very high risk."
I look at Dottie, she seems to be deciding something, then she kisses my hand. Leans over and kisses my lips.
Then she looks into my eyes and whispers, "I love you, Dane. I know we just barely met but I know you were made for me. This may be the end, but you gave me a reason to live. And I have to tell you, before your surgery, you are a—"
I want to hear her words, but I can't manage to listen, my body is too weak, and she feels so far from me. My eyes close and the rest of her words lost on me. My body sinks deeper into the hospital bed.
There is a flurry of movement around me, but I'm in a fog, reaching deeper into the darkness that seems to swallow me whole.
"I love you," I say, but no sound comes through my lips. "I love you, Dottie," I say again, not knowing if anyone can hear me.
I fall into sleep, praying her words will carry me through this operation... or even possibly, carry me into whatever comes after this life.
Chapter 13
I'm pacing in the surgical wing when Lexi arrives with Asher. He's fussing in her arms, all red-faced and trying to wriggle his way out of her grasp. Seeing him takes away some of the heartache I feel. It's been such a long day.
