by Allie Faye
“Hey, man.” Ezra nods.
“Sup?”
“I am trying to gain my independence and buy a car.” Conleigh smiles at me and Ezra squeezes her hand.
My jaw ticks as I notice how close their chairs are pulled together.
“Good for you.” I grab a bottle of Heineken from the fridge and knock it back eagerly.
“I have to work early. Do you think you could drive her to that buy here pay here place off the interstate in the morning?” Ezra looks to me.
I swallow hard unsure of how to proceed here. “No problem.” In the end, I agree because we need to talk. Her and me, no outside influences. Glancing down at her crossed ankles as her cheeks blush, I see her socks rolling down her calves at their own accord and it takes everything in me not to drop to my knees and run my rough, splintered, calloused fingers over her smooth skin. Fuck. She’s so beautiful without even trying.
She licks her lips, drawing my attention to that tempting and so damn kissable mouth. “Thank you,” she whispers, and her hair lops to the side as her bun comes undone as she tilts her head up at me. Her eyes holding waves of emotion all crashing against me. Beating me down, daring me to say fuck it all and stake my claim. Pump my fist against my chest and roar like the king of the jungle or some shit.
I want to get in Conleigh’s face and scream at her and demand she tell Ezra to get lost, that she belongs to me. But I don’t. I grit my teeth.
Wren comes strutting into the kitchen. “No one invited me to the kitchen pow wow. Are you whispering about me?” He pulls out a chair and sits next to Conleigh. Scooting his chair as close to her as physically possible without sitting in her lap.
“Hello, Wren.”
“Hello, love.” He smirks and takes a drink from her wine glass.
“Excuse you,” she scoffs, scooting back her chair.
“I gotta get busy,” Ezra announces. “Hey, Con?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you put me a pot of coffee on, I have to work on the proposal for the Miller account, it’s going to be a late night. I just have to run down to the car and grab my suitcase.” He loosens his tie as he stands up. His cell phone rings and he answers it telling whoever is on the line to hold on.
She shrugs. “Sure.”
It pisses me off. Why is she doing anything for him? My jaw ticks as they smile at each other. If I hadn’t sunk so much time and money into my workshop below us, I’d say screw it and give my place to them to rent and move the hell away from here.
Wren looks at me and shakes his head.
“Don’t,” I growl at him.
He smirks and rubs his chin. “You see Reese around? I thought she’d be around more than she has been.”
I roll my eyes and stroke my chin. “No, you’d know a helluva lot more about her than I would.”
He chuckles. “Conleigh, love dove. You going to come to my show this weekend?”
“If I’m working,” she answers over her shoulder as she puts a new filter in the coffee maker.
“I don’t think I can perform if you aren’t there to watch,” he attempts lamely to flirt.
“Get out of here.” I shove him toward the living room as he gets up from the table with the rest of Conleigh’s wine in tow.
“What time do you want to leave in the morning?”
Her shoulders sag and she turns to face me after pressing the brew button. “I guess around eight or nine unless you have somewhere to be. I can ask Bailey or get an Uber or cab.” At the mention of Bailey, I remember our conversation. Her telling me to fight for Conleigh but I don’t know if I have it in me. Reese being here has reminded me all too much of what happens when I let anyone in.
“I have an appointment at ten.” I don’t know why I don’t explain that it’s a meeting with a divorce attorney. I don’t know why I never told Conleigh about Reese. It just never seemed important until now.
Does she know? Do I care? Yeah, I care a helluva a fucking lot. More than I want to. More than I should.
“Pull up your socks,” I tell her.
Her lips twitch into a semblance of a smile as she stares at me.
“Why don’t you pull them up?” She challenges and my dick jumps.
“Don’t tempt me,” I warn.
“Are you chicken?”
I take a step toward her as her elbows rest calmly on the counter. “Don’t fuck with me,” I whisper, my eyes traveling down her thighs and down to those socks that are now hugging her ankles.
In a breathy whisper, she teases, “I plan on doing more than fucking you.” She smirks being brazen.
Just as I am about to go down on my knees Ezra calls from the dining room, “Con, will you bring me a cup of coffee?”
“I got it,” I tell her as I reach around her, pressing my hardening cock into her stomach to get a mug from the cabinet.
Her chest shudders as I brush against her and whisper in her ear, “This is far from finished.”
She bites her lip and nods.
“Maybe you had better bring it to him after all,” I tell her, adjusting my dick in my pants, wishing I could bend her over the counter right now, Ezra be damned.
By the time my hard on fades, Conleigh is seated in the living room watching trashy reality TV with fucking Wren and laughing. Ezra has his work spread across the dining room table and is concentrating on his task. I find myself going into my shop downstairs. The butterflies I made for Conleigh stare at me, taunting me to go back upstairs, drag her to my room and fuck her brains out until she truly submits to me. I don’t do that though because deep down I know I don’t want to hurt Ezra even though the bastard deserves to have her taken away from him. I see the way he still looks at her. He still loves her.
I take my frustration out in the form of working. I start working on an order I received online to make a rocking chair. I mostly make signs and take on custom jobs when they come in or generally whatever inspires me. Grabbing my measuring tape and pencil, I take out my pattern and start gathering the wood I will need.
An hour or two later I step outside in the chill of the night to cool down and take a break. Reese is walking down the street with her arms wrapped around her center, shivering. I pretend I don’t see her, but she comes straight to me. “I went to the bar, you weren’t there.”
“Nope,” I answer shortly. Why is she here? I look over at her as she leans against the building next to me. She’s about five years too late. Sure, she’s as beautiful as she ever was. Blonde hair, big blue eyes, huge tits, and a tiny waist. Years ago, she was my world. I thought she would be the mother of my children. I was so young and naïve. It wasn’t just her looks though that drew me in, back then she was so innocent and sweet or so I had thought. I guess I never knew the real her.
Now when I look at her, I don’t feel anything but pity. She’s pathetic. Her and Wren are so alike it’s almost funny. When she left me, she told me she chose the wrong brother and now here she is begging me to take her back. She ruined my life, or at least that is what I thought at the time, but in reality, she did me a favor. Thank God we never had any kids because we would have ended up where we are now, but a child would be the one hurting. We never would have worked long-term. I can see that now. She’s one of those people who will always be searching for the next best thing and sadly for her she let me go. And now that she knows no one will ever be as good to her as I was, she’s back. Thinking we can just go back to how things were before she took off. I’m not wired that way.
“Can we talk?”
“Nothing to talk about. Me and you got nothing in common other than Wren.”
“Holden…” she grabs my arm. “I’m still your wife.”
I remove her hand. “Not for long. Should have gotten those divorce papers drawn up when you left, Reese. It’s time we both let go and moved on. I forgot about you years ago. You need to do the same. We’ve been done a long time.”
“It’s that girl, isn’t it? The puker.” She snorts and shakes her head. Her blonde hair fall
s around her shoulders in waves with the movement. I used to love wrapping my hands in her hair but not anymore. The thought of being with anyone else after Conleigh makes my chest hurt. Reese’s blue eyes stare at me still holding on, still believing she can get me back.
“There’s been plenty of women since you’ve been gone. Conleigh doesn’t have a thing to do with how I feel about you, which by the way, is nothing at all. You don’t mean shit to me, Reese. Time you get it through your dense head. Now, if you’ll get the fuck off my property, I got shit to do.” I don’t give her a second glance. I leave her standing in the cold and start back inside when she grabs my hand. “Don’t embarrass yourself, Reese.”
“Holden, kiss me and tell me you don’t feel anything for me,” she pleads, tugging on my fingers, bringing them to her mouth. She sucks my ring finger between her teeth and nibbles it. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t feel good and that for a brief moment I didn’t remember how good we once were together.
The first time I saw her I thought wow. Her family was unloading a moving truck. She stood in her yard, her blonde waves blowing in the breeze as she smiled at me and waved. She was like an angel standing there. Only thing missing was a halo around her head. The next time I saw her she was sitting on the bleachers and looking lost. She was new to our school and had moved two houses down from me. Anyway, I had finally gotten up the courage to approach her. She made me so damn nervous. My stomach was in knots. She had remembered me living near her and told me she couldn’t remember the name of our street. I walked her home that day and every day after.
Jerking my finger away as her teeth rake over my skin, I tell her, “I don’t need to kiss you to remind myself. I already know. I told you there is no chance in hell I would ever go there with you again. Not in this life or any other.”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“No one ever does do they? Not you. Not Wren or my parents.” I shake my head. I don’t want to think about them either. I’m the son who never did anything right. I’m the son that threw his future away because I didn’t follow the plan they mapped out for me. I married Reese against their wishes and they cut me out of their lives as though I never existed. They knew she would ruin me, but they should have been there for me.
“You’ll see, Holden. I’ll prove it to you. We’re meant to be together.” With that she lets go of my hand and goes back the way she came from.
I hope it is the last time I watch her walk away and that its finally for fucking good.
Chapter 22
Conleigh
For the past week, I have felt like I am in a dream, a nightmare really. I gave in to my attraction for Holden. Every second I was with him felt like the I was seeing butterflies for the first time. All the magic…it was there…for a moment it was real. Then it was ripped away from me. That’s the thing about magic…it never lasts.
I wish I would have said screw it and let Ezra see me with his best friend but as much as he deserved it, I still couldn’t bring myself to hurt him in that way. I was afraid. But that is the funny thing about fear…it’s never rational. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s right and what is real anymore. I’ve allowed fear to rule me. I’ve given Ezra what he wanted, we aren’t back together but we aren’t exactly not together either.
Last night when he finished what he was working on, he came to bed. I was laying there reading and he kissed my forehead as he had so many times and for a few fleeting moments it felt right, and we kissed. It wasn’t all consuming or all together passionate. It was…familiar.
He caressed my cheeks and I let my guard down for one minute and he found his way in. His tongue slid between my lips and I allowed him to explore what we once shared. Those feelings we spent two years building came rushing back. It wasn’t fair of me, but I was still keyed up from my encounter with Holden in the kitchen. Then I saw him last night with her. His wife. I was going to see if he was in his shop. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but I got the idea quickly when his finger was in her mouth. I didn’t hang out on the stairs any longer and went back inside before either of them noticed me. I used Ezra and let him touch me, all the while knowing it was wrong, but he knows my body and he fingered me and kissed me until I got off. Then he jacked off next to me without any help from me.
I told him I would give him a chance, but deep down I’m not trying. I figure he will fuck up again sooner or later. Go fuck Judy again, though he says he fired her. I guess that makes me a coward.
It’s the next morning and I feel like a shitty person.
Holden tugs on my hair as he goes to the fridge. Electricity shoots through my body. Ezra is in the shower. I hear the refrigerator door opening then closing, and I don’t dare turn around. I keep my attention locked on the bacon frying in the pan.
I can’t crack. I can’t break. I have a plan to let Ezra fuck up again, so I can get out of my promise to him and I have to stick to it. But Holden isn’t making it easy on me.
I can feel his breath on my neck as chills fan across my chest and a shiver escapes me, giving my reaction away.
“I’ll see you in a few,” he whispers, his breath hot, sticky even, as it clings to the shell of my ear. We’re supposed to go look at a car I have been eyeing.
I feel frozen in place, unable to speak let alone breathe. His hand cups my jaw, his finger pressing between my lips before traveling down my arm, over the curve of my hip and to my butt. I gasp as he cups my cheek, firm, full of possession.
Ezra will be out of the shower any second now. He could walk in right now. What would he see? Holden standing close to my back? Would he know he has me on the brink of insanity, trapped between desire and stupidity?
“Don’t kiss him goodbye. Don’t be long. Wear the red shirt, I love you in red.” His words are still reaching my brain when I realize he has already exited the room.
“Hey, you’re burning the bacon.” Ezra.
Snapping from Holden’s spell, I look down as black smoke begins wisp up to my nose. Curling my lips, I remove the skillet from the burner before it chars. “Sorry.”
I turn around and see Ezra with a towel secured around his trim but fit waist. It hits me—guilt…realization that seeing him does nothing to me. Not even a morsel of the response Holden just awakened in me moments ago. I’m in deep shit. Why did I tell Ezra I would give him a chance when I know we are so over? Because I had a moment of jealousy and wanted to get Holden back for being with his wife. God, I am so fucked in the head.
Holden is only fucking with me. I can’t let my feelings for him cloud what I need to do. I shake my head and return my attention to preparing Ezra’s bacon sandwich.
“What’s your schedule look like today?” I ask, as I slather his wheat toast with mayonnaise.
“Meeting with the design team for the cat litter account at eight, conference calls until lunch, then a game of golf with the old man and his banker.”
“So, a late night then?”
“Probably will stay at the clubhouse, so I can go to the airport from there with dad.”
I nod. Excitement floods me. I’m a terrible person. I completely forgot he will be gone for the next four days.
“You working the split shift at the bar?”
I smile as Holden flashes to the front of my mind. “Yeah, I get off around seven. I may catch a movie with Bailey after.”
“That’s good. I’m glad you have her to keep you company while I’m away.”
“I could come to the clubhouse and stay with you, that is if you want me too?” I offer knowing he will decline. He never wants me there. He probably has a bitch on the side there as well.
“Go, enjoy the movie. I’ll be turning in early. The car will be there at four-thirty in the morning. I’ll be sleeping as soon as I get in.”
“Makes sense.” I am surprised he is being so agreeable. After our fight, he has gone back to being his usual workaholic-self, acting as though nothing happened, as though he didn’t cheat on me.
Ezra eats his sandwich and gets ready for work. I can hear Holden downstairs working in his shop. I wish he wasn’t married, but he doesn’t seem to care. Why should I? Maybe I will start thinking like a guy and having my side piece too. Why shouldn’t I get the best of both worlds like Ezra and Holden.
In the bedroom, I start getting ready for my shift at the bar later and to hopefully get a car. My fingers brush across the red shirt Holden asked me to wear. As much as I want to make him happy, I shouldn’t encourage him. I should let both of them go, but this is too good of real material for my book.
Ezra comes up behind me as I take the black bar shirt from the hanger. His arms go around me and I shiver (not in a good way either). “I’m going to miss you while I’m gone. I don’t like you working at the bar.” His chin dips down on my shoulder and his cologne that I used to love the scent of makes my stomach churn as much as his touch does. “But at least I know Holden will keep an eye on you and keep any customers from attempting to steal you away from me. I love you in black, Snookems, it makes me so damn hard.”
I freeze and decide I never want to wear black again.
Ezra leaves and I grab the red shirt.
————
In the cab of his truck, Holden grips the wheel tightly. Tension surrounds us so damn thick that I have to crack my damn window. “Why ya sitting over there?”
I don’t know why I say it, but I guess it’s eating at me. “Because I’m not your wife.”
His eyes darken as he swerves into the next lane and pulls into a car wash stall. He shuts the truck off.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he unbuckles his seatbelt.
He turns to face me. “Come here,” he growls.
“No.” I fold my arms over my chest. The chilly air seeps through my cracked window, filling the truck quickly. The windows begin to sweat and fog as the warmth from the heater mixes with it.
Holden reaches over and undoes my seatbelt. His eyes never leave mine as I glare at him. I reluctantly meet him in the middle of the bench seat. “Wipe that fucking snarky look from your face, Con. Reese and me been over for years. I don’t have to explain myself to you. I don’t see you telling me shit all about you getting back with Ezra.”
