I gave him what I was sure was a blank expression.
Cole sighed. “It means that when we are in the labyrinth, time will pass just as quickly as it does in Park City. Which means you’ll be gone for longer than you realized.”
I thought about the repercussions of this revelation. Every minute I was in the maze would be another minute I was away from my family. It would be impossible to get back without anyone knowing I’d been gone. Then another realization hit me, a worse one, and I saw in the faces of the others that they were one step ahead of me.
“I can’t miss even one night of dreaming,” I said. “Jack’s already out of time. If I miss a night of giving him energy … he’ll die, won’t he?”
Cole lowered his head and scratched the back of it like he always did when he was trying to work out a problem. When he raised it again, he said, “We’ll kick her out. Every night, we’ll kick her to the Surface so she can sleep. We’ll stay in the maze, holding our place. Then in the morning, we’ll reach up and bring her back.”
I was sure my face looked like Cole had just spoken in ancient Latin. “I thought you said you couldn’t land in the maze.”
“We can’t do a blind landing, which is what we’d have to do if we all went to the Surface. But if the rest of us stayed here and simply reached to the Surface to bring you under, that might work.”
Ashe seemed to be working the scenario through his head. But I couldn’t get over one specific word Cole had said.
“What did you mean by ‘kicking’ me out?”
Cole grinned. “Actually, it’s exactly how it sounds.”
Before I could ask him to elaborate, Max stood up. “Whatever we’re going to do, we can’t stay here long.”
“Why?” I asked.
He slowly pulled the shutter a little tighter. “Four men. They’ve been standing at the corner for too long.”
Cole looked to Ashe, who glanced at a pocket watch. “There’s a scheduled blackout coming. We’ll sneak out the back, but I don’t think we can make it to the labyrinth entrance before it gets dark. I know a hideout not far from here. I think we can make it.”
Everyone went into action. They each grabbed a weapon. Ashe strapped a small sword to his back. Max put on an iron contraption that slipped over four of his fingers; and when he made a fist, it became a weapon, like brass knuckles. Cole slung a knife sheath around his leg and tugged his jeans down over it.
Then Ashe drew the iron lock across the front door as Max cleared the table of the maps and markers we had been studying.
“What do you mean, blackout?” I asked.
“You’ll see,” Cole said. He grabbed my hand, and we ducked out the back door and into the courtyard.
The whole thing had taken maybe thirty seconds.
Ashe rushed us down dark alleys that were even narrower than the ones Cole had used to get us to Ashe’s. As we ran, the daylight seemed to dim, throwing our path into dusk. Halfway down one of the passageways, Ashe stopped by a small, heavy, wooden door in the ground. It looked like a square lumber sewer lid. He heaved it open, and Cole dropped down it, then Max.
Ashe looked at me expectantly.
“Here goes,” I said under my breath. I jumped in after Max and landed in a small cellar about the size of a living room. Ashe fell in beside me and used a rope on the door to shut it tight, but not before I realized that it was suddenly pitch-black outside.
“Make yourselves comfortable,” he said. “When the blackout lifts, we’ll run for the labyrinth before anyone realizes where we went.”
Using Max’s lighter to see by, Cole and I settled into one corner of the room and the others spread out on the opposite side. There were a few blankets that had been left in there that we used as cushions against the cold cement floor.
Once everyone had stopped moving, Max flicked his lighter shut and we were thrown into darkness.
I could hear hushed voices talking, and from the direction in which they were coming, I assumed it was Max and Ashe. I was relieved that Cole sat next to me. In this sea of unfamiliar and scary things, Cole was definitely one thing: familiar. Comforting.
He draped a blanket over me. “It’s only three hours,” he whispered. “Try to relax.”
“What is a blackout?” I whispered to Cole.
“It’s just like it sounds. To conserve energy, the Shades periodically shut everything down. Everybody stays inside. It’s better that it happens now than when we’re in the maze.”
He was quiet. I could still hear the murmurs from across the room, but I couldn’t tell what they were saying.
“Cole?” I whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Will there be Shades in the maze?”
I heard him let out a breath. “I don’t think so. They’re focused on energy. It’s all they care about, so they stick to the bull’s-eye and the Commons, where they can manipulate the energy. They have no reason to be in the maze.”
“Why do they do what they do?”
“It’s like they’re the embodiment of a devotion to the Everneath world. Some say that’s all they are anymore. The last shade of an attachment. The last shadow of … love, without any of the reasons to back it up. All they know is to protect this world, and the energy inside of it.”
“Where’d they come from?”
“I don’t know.”
There was so much Cole still didn’t know about his own world. So much kept secret, even from the inhabitants. I turned toward him. “Do they die?”
“I don’t know.”
We were quiet for a few moments, and I could hear Cole settle further into the blankets.
“Are you going to sleep?” I asked.
Cole chuckled. “No. Sleep is purely a Surface thing, along with eating food. It’s not something we need to do down here. That goes for you too while you’re here.”
Mrs. Jenkins had warned me not to eat down here. It sounded as if this was something I didn’t need to worry about. It suddenly made sense why I hadn’t seen a kitchen in Ashe’s home.
I thought back to how Ashe was coming with us, no questions asked. “Is Ashe a regular Everliving?”
“A regular Everliving,” Cole said with a smile in his voice.
“I mean, why does he look like … smoke?”
Cole sighed. “I don’t know. His appearance is new to me. He didn’t use to look like that. He said he missed the last Feed. Maybe that’s why.”
“What did you ever do for him that would make him agree to come with us?”
Cole paused. “He has an old debt to me. I once found something he had lost. Now he’s paying me back.”
“What did you find?”
He paused. “It’s not important.”
He didn’t offer any more information. The other side of the room went quiet, and I felt as if they were listening, so I didn’t press him.
Ashe was only coming because he owed Cole. But why was Cole here? In his view, he owed me nothing.
“Cole?”
“Yes, Nik?”
I let out a breath of air. I couldn’t ask him why he’d finally decided to help me. I didn’t want to give him an opportunity to reconsider what he’d gotten himself into. “Are you scared of getting killed?”
“No. I’m scared of something worse than death.”
Worse than death? “Like what?”
“Everlivings can get trapped in a hell of their own minds.” I felt him pick at a loose string on the sleeve of his jacket. “Do you ever notice how the punishments in mythology are always repetitive and continuous? Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the mountain, only to have it roll back at the end of the day? Souls being trapped in quicksand while carnivorous birds nip away at their intestines? The Everliving are afraid of eternal punishments, like the sentence of the Wanderers, who are always starving but will never die from it. We can fall prey to such destruction in our minds that death would actually be a release.”
I remembered seeing pictures of these punishments and
curses in the D’Aulaires’ book. “Have you ever known someone who got trapped in something like that?” I asked.
“Yeah. Me.” I turned toward him, and he felt the movement. “With you. Always trying, but never getting you. I have ninety-nine years of that to look forward to.”
My cheeks grew hot. “You can’t still be trying.”
“I’ll never stop.”
“But … all this.” I gestured around, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “You’re doing all this when you know it’s to save Jack.”
“I know. And won’t you owe me so bad when we succeed.” There was a smile in his voice, but also something dead serious. I thought about what Ashe had said about his tether to me.
I shook my head. “Just what do you think I’ll owe you?”
He leaned closer to me. “For saving the love of your life? Everything.”
There was this incredibly tense moment, and I wished I could see Cole’s face. But then I felt him relax against me. “And then you’ll just run away again, and I’ll have to find another way to impress you; and that, Nikki Beckett, is the eternal loop.”
I released a breath and at the same time tried to release the panic his words had brought on. He acted as if it were a joke, but did some part of him really believe it?
“I told you what I was afraid of, Nik. Now tell me what you’re afraid of.”
I answered as honestly as I could. “I’m afraid of how much I don’t know about this world, and how I have to rely on everything you tell me.”
“That is scary.”
I couldn’t hear a smile behind his voice.
SIXTEEN
NOW
The Everneath. Ouros.
As soon as the blackout lifted we hoisted ourselves out of the cellar and into the alley. Cole faced Ashe. “You know what we’re up against. You owe me a debt, but it isn’t fair for me to ask this as payment. If you want out, you can repay me another way.”
There was a long moment of silence. I didn’t say anything, no begging or pleading, because I was pretty sure Ashe’s answer would have nothing to do with me and everything to do with his previous relationship with Cole.
Ashe stepped forward. “I’m in. I’m tired of owing you.” He said it good-naturedly, though, not spitefully.
Cole smiled and smacked him on his shoulder, like a brother-in-arms.
Again we darted through alleys and back roads. We were quiet and quick. I was so turned around that if I had been left here alone, I’d never find my way out again. I kept my hood up. Any person we passed could be looking for me.
Cole moved directly in front of me, and Max stayed behind. “Follow me as close as you can, Nik.”
“So you can …” I searched for the right words to describe his masking of my energy. “Suck it up better?”
I heard him let out a tiny laugh. “Exactly.”
Ashe and Max flanked my sides, only farther away and less obviously than before.
Each Common had four entrances and exits. Two on opposite sides that led to the other Commons, one that led to the void, and one that served as the entrance to the maze. The way we were moving, the two Common exits were in the north and south points of the circle. The void was to the west, and the maze was to the east.
We ran. I couldn’t see anyone following, and I was starting to believe we could leave unnoticed until Max said, “We’ve got company.”
I turned my head just enough to catch a glimpse of two figures behind us at the end of the alley. “Maybe they’re out for a walk?” I said hopefully.
“Let’s check,” Max said. He made a sudden turn down a side street and then took off running. We followed close behind. He made a series of quick, random turns in a row, then we all ducked into a particularly dark alley and waited.
For a minute nothing happened. After our mad dash, I couldn’t imagine anyone being able to keep up.
But they did. The two figures appeared at the end of the alley from the way we’d come.
We all looked to Ashe, who had become the unofficial leader. He thought for a split second, then said, “We split up. Once you get to the entrance, go through immediately.”
And just like that we scattered. Cole took my hand, and we ran.
I squeezed Jack’s note in my hand. Hang on, Jack, I thought. I’m coming.
I had no idea if the men were following us or someone else in our group. We were going too fast for me to check. After a few minutes of flat-out sprinting, we reached an arched entryway, like the one we’d taken to enter Ouros; but this one looked as if it had rarely been used. It had distinct corners that hadn’t been worn away from thousands of hands touching it. The dirt on the ground looked loose and unpacked.
We sprinted to it.
“Go! Go!” Cole said, urging me under the archway first. He followed, and then he flattened himself against the wall, in the shadow of the entrance, and watched the street we’d come on.
Nobody showed. I didn’t know if the others were ahead of us or if they were still trying to get here. Cole finally tore his eyes away and looked ahead into the dark corridor. He went past me. “I’ll go first.”
As we made our way through the dark corridor, the sound of running water grew louder. The light at the end bounced off the walls, just like in an indoor swimming pool.
And then I got my first look at the Ring of Water.
I froze.
Up until this point I could tell myself that we were in some strange corner of the world but still on a planet I recognized. But looking at the Ring of Water, I’d never felt farther away from the Surface and all things familiar. The sight was so unearthly, it took my breath away.
Cole waited for me, his hand held out. His gaze met mine, and he recognized my sudden paralysis. “Are you ready for this?”
Without realizing it, I slowly shook my head back and forth. Cole smirked. “Sure you are, Nik. The only way out is through.” He reached his hand farther toward me.
I took it, because I knew that if I didn’t, I’d be stuck in the corridor for a long time. A light mist of water hit me in the face as I stepped out into the ring. It made sense, because the entire wall in front of me was made up of water, like a giant waterfall, only it didn’t pool at the bottom and it seemed to come from nowhere.
It was a wall of running water, and it was forcing me to choose to go either right or left. The wall behind me looked exactly the same except for the small, dark opening of the corridor we’d just come through.
“Welcome to the maze,” Ashe said. He was standing off to the side with Max. They’d beat us. “Try not to get too wet. The water here has certain … properties.”
I remembered Ashe said that the water messed with emotions. “Like what?” I asked.
Cole pulled me toward the exact center of the pathway, I assumed so the least amount of water would splash me. “It can draw out your worst emotions. Get too wet, and you could drown in your own despair.”
I looked at the giant wall in front of me, and the one behind me now, and wondered how in the world I was supposed to stay dry.
The others didn’t look worried about the water, though. Right now they were all staring at my feet. I dropped my head and saw the problem. The tether was pointing straight toward the wall in front of me, still indicating the center of the maze.
“The tether’s going to be no use if it’s always pointing through the walls,” I said.
Everyone looked to Cole, who was focused on the tether. “You were able to control your projection enough to focus it on this tether. Now we need you to tap into your connection with Jack even more so that your tether will tell us whether to go right or left.”
“How?”
“Tell me a story.”
Max rolled his eyes dramatically in the background.
Cole ignored him. “We know your focused memories are the best way to control your connection with Jack. Think of a decisive moment in your relationship with him.”
I looked at the tether and the wall
of water, and the sets of eyes on me waiting, and I couldn’t think.
“Tell me when you first knew you loved him,” Cole said. His voice suddenly sounded tense, but his face remained a calm mask.
I glanced nervously around at our small group.
“Don’t worry about them,” Cole said. “Just tell me. Talk to me. When did you know?”
I knew exactly when it happened.
FRESHMAN YEAR
The Surface. My house.
A funeral is easy compared to the day after the funeral. The week after. The first Sunday morning after, when the silence in the kitchen—the sound of my mother not cooking French toast—hurts my ears. Getting dressed for school, when the fact that she isn’t there to comment on my choice of shirts is like a palpable vacuum in my room.
It’s the week after the funeral when the loneliness sucks the air out of my lungs.
I put my books in my schoolbag and checked my watch.
“Leaving early again?” my dad asked. He’d appeared in the doorway of my bedroom, wearing a gray suit with a red vest, the only reminder of last week’s funeral in the dark circles under his eyes.
I tried my best to smile. “I wanted to pick up some coffee on the way.”
He nodded, but I wasn’t sure he believed me. He hesitated for a moment, then walked away. “Love you, Nikki.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
I slung the bag over my shoulder and headed out to my car, careful not to wake Tommy, whose school wouldn’t start for another hour. The sunlight painted the tops of the evergreen trees, and I knew it would soon hit my mother’s burial site too.
I didn’t tell my dad the truth about where I was going because I didn’t want him to worry about me. He had his own heartbreak to handle without having to deal with a daughter who had been spending most mornings sneaking off to the cemetery to talk to her dead mother.
It wasn’t that I really thought I was talking to her or that I believed she was somewhere in the clouds listening to me. It was an outlet. A release. If I didn’t let out some of the pain little by little, I would burst like an overfilled balloon.
It sounded crazy. I knew it. But I couldn’t help it. My mom was gone. And any more mornings I spent in an empty house without her to mull over my choice in outfit, or to talk about my upcoming day while the coffee brewed, or to help twist my hair into a loose braid would just push her further away from me.
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