I shake my head, angry that he’d even suggest Ben was wrapped up in all this shit.
“Has he ever just had to leave without explaining why? Have you ever seen him acknowledge someone on campus without actually talking to them? Think, Mindy. Anything that might be even the least bit suspicious might clear all this up for you.”
I don’t want to entertain this idea, but my mind betrays me. I think of the note Ben left on my pillow. He said he had to take care of something. I assumed he had an early class, but then why wouldn’t he just say that? No, that’s not enough to pin all this on him.
“Who does he hang out with?” Mike asks. “Besides you, I mean.”
“I don’t know. He—” That’s all I can manage because a face pops into my mind. The guy I thought Ben was going to fight in the hallway. The one who heard me tell Ben that I love him. I know him! I’ve seen him before, and not just because he lives in my dorm. I’ve seen him with Ben. The day we met. He was one of the guys who clapped Ben on the back and encouraged him to sing that song. Realization sets in, and the ache spreading through my chest is consuming me.
“It was all a set up,” I manage to choke out.
“What?” Mike asks. “What did you think of?”
“We—” I have to stop because my voice is shaking too much.
“Take a deep breath. It’s okay. I’m right here, and I’m going to help you get through this.” He brings me to the bed and sits me down. “I’m not going anywhere. Screw classes at this point. Take your time and tell me when you’re ready.”
When I’m ready? How will I ever be ready to admit to what this is? To what Ben did to me? I still can’t believe it. “It all seemed so real.”
Mike rubs my arm, but doesn’t speak. He’s letting me get this out my way. “We were in the hallway yesterday and I said—” I inhale sharply, unable to continue. Mike’s hand moves to my back, rubbing large circles on it. “I told him I love him. God, he was happy at first, but then he freaked out because this guy on my floor…” The guy—he lives on my floor. “I have to go talk to him, find out if this is true.”
“Who? Ben?”
“No. The guy.”
Mike shakes his head. “Mindy, they’re frat buddies, or wannabe pledge buddies. He wouldn’t rat Ben out to you. It’s against the rules of Rush Week. They can’t sabotage each other because it’s,” he pauses to make air quotes, “‘unbecoming of a brother’. They wouldn’t be allowed to pledge after doing something like that.”
“But Ben was so freaked out when that guy saw us and heard me.”
“He must have thought the guy was going to screw things up for him because he interrupted the moment. You know like having an audience would make you change your mind or something.”
I stand up, unable to sit still with all the emotions welling up inside me. “Because that was the moment I won the Rush Week bet for Ben. The moment I took a huge chance and opened myself up to him. The moment I said I loved him.” My heart stops. No. Ben can’t be rushing. That would mean he lied about everything. That he doesn’t love me, doesn’t even care about me. “No. Mike, you have to be wrong.” I let my arms fall to my sides.
“Mindy, I feel awful. I told him all about you. I pushed you in his direction. I should’ve asked around about him first, but I didn’t. I’m so sorry. Look, we know the truth now, so this whole thing is over. You don’t ever have to see him again. I’ll make sure he stays away from you. I promise.” He stands up and pulls me in for a hug, and I’m thankful because I can’t support my own weight anymore. Not now that I know the reason Ben chose me that day at the social. He chose me to win a bet. I was never anything more to him than a way to win Rush Week and be the big shot of the pledge class so he could follow in his father’s footsteps.
Chapter Ten
I skip all my classes. Mike offers to stay with me, but I can’t face anyone, not even him. I feel like such an idiot for falling for Ben. I should’ve known guys don’t act like him in real life. He was too good to be true, but I kept telling myself to just go with it and be happy. Now look what it got me. A soggy pillow, red eyes, and a broken heart.
My cell vibrates with a text from Ben. Finally done for the day. On my way to your room.
I don’t respond. What I need to say to him, I have to say in person. Unlike him, I’m going to be honest. I’m going to tell him to his face what a complete dick he is. I run a brush through my hair and wipe the tears from my face. About five minutes later, Ben knocks on my door. I take a deep breath, preparing myself to face the guy who used me.
I open the door and see Ben holding a bouquet of flowers. With one look at my puffy eyes he reaches for my face, but I slap his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”
“Mindy, what’s wrong?” Before I can stop him, he steps into the room and wraps his arms around me.
I can smell the flowers against my back as he holds me tight. My traitorous body leans into him for a moment, but then I come to my senses and push my hands against his chest. “Stop.” I pull away from him and walk across the room.
“I don’t understand. Did I do something?”
Tears are streaming down my cheeks again. “Why me?”
“What?” His footsteps sound on the floor behind me, but I whirl around and hold my hand up.
“Don’t. Don’t come near me. Just answer the question. I’ve asked you all along and you wouldn’t give me a straight answer, but I’m not letting you leave this room without manning up and telling me. Why me? Why did you pick me that night at the social?”
“I told you, I—”
“No!” I step toward him. “You fucking coward. I know. I know all about Rush Week and how you set me up, so just admit it before I punch you in the face.”
He drops the flowers on my bed. “Mindy, you don’t understand.”
My chest tightens and I can barely breathe. Even though I already knew it was true, hearing him admit it is too much for my heart to handle. “Oh, believe me I do,” I force out, crossing my arms as if it will guard me against the pain I’m feeling from his betrayal. “You chose me because I’m an upper classman, just like you needed to win that sick bet for the fraternity your father started on this campus years ago.” He steps back as if my words are hurting him. “How am I doing? All the details right so far?”
He nods. “It’s not what you think, though.”
“Don’t try to talk your way out of this, Ben. It’s over! Take your flowers and leave.” I pick up the bouquet and chuck it at him, but he lets it bounce off his chest and fall to the floor.
“Mindy, please. You have to let me explain.”
“I don’t have to let you do anything. You’re an asshole, and I never want to see you again. So go claim your prize with your frat buddies and forget we ever met.”
“I can’t forget I met you. Being with you has been the best—”
“Just stop!” I can’t listen to his lies. I slept with him. I fell for him. A thought slams into me. “Oh my God! Is that why you said you thought you could fall for me right before we had sex? You were trying to make me say it back so you could be done with me sooner. You couldn’t even stand the thought of sticking it out for the full week with me.”
“No.” He steps toward me, but I put my hand up to stop him. “I said it because I meant it. This isn’t a game to me, Mindy. I love you. When I saw you that night, I felt something. I probably should’ve picked another girl to sing to, but I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I don’t know if people really fall in love at first sight, but I was captivated by you. You got to me in a way I couldn’t ignore.”
“Right. You were so into me that you decided to make me the butt of your sick frat joke.” I remember his words the first time we slept together and I cringe. “You said you didn’t want to rush into anything. Was that your way of getting this off your conscience? Slyly telling me that this was a Rush Week prank? Clever word play. Well done. I fell, hook, line, and sinker.”
“Mindy—”
�
��I’m done.”
“But—”
“She said she was done.” I look around Ben to see Mike standing in the doorway. He steps toward Ben, grabbing him by his shirt. “If you ever come near her again, I’ll kick your ass back to the hole you crawled out of, you little shit.”
Ben doesn’t argue. He looks at me one last time and walks out of my life.
***
How I make it through the rest of the week, I’m not sure. Mike stays by my side, like the most loyal best friend ever. But there’s another social event planned on Sunday night, and I’m not up for running it.
“I’ll tell my dad you’re sick,” Andy says when he stops by my room before we need to head to the event. “Don’t worry about it.”
“No.” Mike shakes his head. “We’re not letting those shitheads win. Mindy’s going, and she’s going to show them that she’s better than they are.”
“Mike’s right,” Noelle says. “She has to face them.”
“And she’s going to look freaking gorgeous when she does it,” Julia says, taking me by the arm and leading me to my desk chair.
I don’t say a word because I have none left to say. I just let Julia do my hair and makeup while Noelle picks out my outfit. I hate that they’re the ones taking care of me. Some R.A. I’ve turned out to be.
We all head to the social together. Safety in numbers and all that, according to Mike, but I still feel like I’m about to become the laughing stock of Timberland College. All the frats are going to be at this event, and their new pledges will be with them.
“You can do this,” Mike says as we walk in.
The room looks just like it did last weekend. Mike probably kept the same decorations up because that’s him—cutting corners everywhere possible.
The karaoke DJ is already taking his first victim onto the stage. I see Ace’s frat in the back corner, and Ben is with them, just like I knew he would be. He sees me the second I enter the room. I think he’s about to walk over to me, so I grab Mike’s hand for support.
Ben turns toward the stage and takes the microphone right out of another guy’s hand. He taps it and says, “Stop the music. I need to say something.”
I swallow hard, waiting for him to tell everyone how he got me in bed and made me fall for him so he could be Rush Week king.
“Last weekend I sang a song to a girl. I picked her out of the crowd because she was so wrapped up in everyone else that she forgot about herself. I could tell she was the sweetest person in the room. Not to mention the most beautiful.”
I shake my head and turn to Mike. “I can’t listen to this.” I head for the door.
Ben steps off the stage and follows me. “Mindy, wait. I think you’re going to want to hear this. And after that if you never want to speak to me again, I’ll respect your decision and stay away. Even though it will kill me to do it.”
I stop, but I’m not sure why. Probably because my damn heart wants to hear what he has to say.
Instead of addressing me, Ben addresses his frat. “Ace, I know my dad started this fraternity, and I came to rush intending to join. But then I met Mindy. The moment I saw her, I knew I couldn’t go through with the bet. Yes, I continued to see her. Yes, I told her I love her. Because I do.” He turns to me now. “Mindy, I love you. That wasn’t a lie.”
I step toward him, summoning all my courage. “How do I know? You kept this from me, played me. Why the hell should I believe a word you say?”
“Because I’m still here.” He extends his arm. “Rush Week is over, and I’m not pledging. I don’t care that I’m legacy or that my dad is the founder of the fucking frat. I’m done. You mean more to me than a bunch of guys calling me brother.”
“What the hell, Whitmore?” Ace yells.
“You can take your frat and your sick bets and shove them, Ace. I don’t want any part of it. All I want is Mindy.” He looks back at me.
My chest heaves as I struggle to get air in my lungs. “Ben, I want to believe you.” I shake my head, and tears fill my eyes. “But I can’t. I opened myself up to you and you stomped all over me.” I take a shaky breath. “I’m done.”
The entire room is silent, watching the show, but then Ben points to the DJ, who nods and starts a new song. I recognize it immediately because it’s from my favorite old movie, Top Gun. Is there anything Ben didn’t think to ask Mike about me?
“You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling,” Ben sings, closing the distance between us and getting down on his knees in front of me. As he sings the song, I think about all he’s done for me. The way he went to Mike to learn all about me. The way he looked at me and made me feel like I was the most important person in the world to him. The way he seemed so afraid of losing me. He knew I’d find out about the bet. He knew the truth would come out in the end, so he held on to me as long as he could.
I look over at Mike, Julia, Noelle, and Andy. Noelle has tears in her eyes, moved by Ben’s romantic gesture. Mike shrugs, knowing exactly what I’m thinking. Ben gave up his fraternity for me. He’s telling everyone that I mean more to him than being a legacy or following in his father’s footsteps. He didn’t tell me about the bet and he didn’t quit the frat until now, but his feelings for me were never a lie.
He finishes the song and stands up. No one says a word as they watch us. “Mindy, I told you that if you decide to leave me, I’ll accept that. Just so you know, no matter what you do, I’m not going back to the frat. I never wanted to take that bet and was going to throw it anyway. That’s why I was so freaked out when Rick heard you say you love me. I didn’t want to win. For me, winning would mean having you forgive me. That’s all I want.”
I look over at Ace and his frat buddies, who are scowling at Ben. “What will your dad say?” I ask.
Ben waves his hand. “I don’t care. But, honestly, I think when I tell him about this bet, he’ll be calling Dean Decker and demanding a meeting with Ace and the rest of the fraternity.”
“He could shut us down,” Ace yells, his face bright red.
“Good. You fucking deserve to be shut down.” Ben levels Ace with a look before turning back to me. “I understand if you need time to think about all this, but if there’s any chance of you forgiving me…” He lowers his head. “I love you, Mindy. I hope you know I mean that.”
Just like a week ago when we met, I hear someone chant, “Kiss him, kiss him.” And then others chant along, too. I turn to Mike, who winks, letting me know he’s the one who started it, and Noelle, Julia, and Andy have joined in. Before long, most of the room is chanting with them.
Ben looks at me and shakes his head. He raises his hand in the air, indicating that he wants the chanting to stop. “Don’t do anything because they tell you to. This is your decision to make. It was all along. I did rush into loving you, but that was my decision. I never expected you to feel the same way. I only hoped you would.”
I stare into his eyes, which are looking back at me with the same emotion they have since I met him. “I do.”
Ben swallows hard. “What?”
“I love you.”
He reaches for my hands, still not sure if he’s allowed to touch me. Instead of placing my hands in his, I grab his face and pull his lips to mine. I can feel the relief wash over him, and then his arms wrap around me.
When we pull apart he says, “God, I thought I lost you. I promise I won’t keep anything from you again. I should’ve told you the truth from the start and left that frat—”
I put my finger to his lips. “It’s over. We’re okay.”
The DJ plays “Fools Rush In” and I glare at him, thinking he’s mocking the choice I’ve made. Everyone starts dancing, including Ben and me.
Ben holds me close, his mouth next to my ear. “The song’s wrong, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Fools don’t rush in.”
“So we aren’t fools for falling for each other so quickly?”
“No. We’re the smart ones, because we know love wh
en we feel it.”
I pull back and press my lips to his, feeling every ounce of love I’ve felt for him from the start.
Author Acknowledgements
As always I have to thank my agent, Lauren Hammond. You believed in this series from the start, and that means so much to me. Thank you to S.B. Addison Books for loving the Campus Crush series as much as I do. To my cover designer, True Poison, you never disappoint.
Thank you to my daughter and husband for putting up with me talking about these books and constantly checking my rankings. To my family, I appreciate all your support. To my writer friends, especially Faith Sullivan, Trisha Wolfe, and Beth Fred, thanks for supporting me and keeping me sane.
Rushing Into Love (Campus Crush Series) Page 8
