Jake and Kat took charge of the desk and the rest of us stood around listening as Grumps was interviewed. As usual he managed to get in a good plug about the re-issue of his backlisted novels, as well as mentioning his most recent one, The Desirous Devil. And yes, I know it sounds like a Mills and Boon, but apparently it’s sold better than all his previous books put together. The lurid, fifties-style cover may have had something to do with it and goodness knows what they will put on the front of Satan’s Child. The mind boggles.
Raffy arrived just as they had finished and the reporter immediately asked him about his reaction, as vicar, to a museum dedicated to the history of paganism.
His eyes passed over the crowded room until they found me and he smiled. My knees jellified and I had to take a quick gulp of punch to steady myself, nearly choking on a bit of orange-scented geranium leaf – I’d wondered what Zillah had wanted with those this morning.
‘Actually, I think that a museum exploring the way in which people, throughout the ages and across diverse cultures, have reached out to God, can be no bad thing, don’t you?’ he said. ‘And probably most so-called witchcraft in the past was just the application of herbalist knowledge, passed down orally.’
Hebe Winter and Grumps fixed their eyes on him, a little like lazy lions wondering whether to chase a gazelle or not, but said nothing.
The reporter left immediately after the interview and Raffy came straight over to where I was standing.
Impulsively, I pulled the chain out of my neckline, displaying the gold cross and the cocoa bean nestling together on the end of it. ‘There you are, Raffy – an unholy alliance. Just as well the reporter’s gone.’
‘What’s that?’ said Grumps, who had ears like a bat, despite his age. Then his gaze sharpened. ‘And where did you get that cross from?’
‘It was a gift from Raffy, Grumps.’
‘Was it, indeed?’ he said, turning that inquisitorial stare on Raffy.
‘And why shouldn’t she wear one, Gregory?’ Hebe Winter looked at me approvingly and I would have bet even money that her own pentacle and cross were reposing on her narrow bosom, under the finely goffered ruff.
‘Why are you giving my granddaughter unsuitable gifts, young man?’ Grumps asked, unappeased, and Raffy put his arm around me and announced, brazenly, ‘It’s very suitable, in the circumstances, because I want to marry her.’
‘You’re engaged?’ exclaimed Poppy, clapping her hands and beaming. ‘Oh, that’s lovely! Congratulations.’
‘No! I can’t…I mean, the bishop would never approve of me…’ I stammered, flustered at this sudden public announcement.
‘I’ll speak to the bishop,’ Hebe Winter stated.
‘That’s very kind of you, Miss Winter,’ Raffy said. ‘I rang him yesterday, so it won’t come as a total surprise, but if you could put in a word for us too, that would be great.’
‘I notice that no one has asked my opinion – or my permission,’ Grumps remarked with deceptive calmness, because I could see he was ruffled, though that might simply have been at the prospect of having his comfortable life disrupted.
‘Raffy asked mine and I gave it,’ Jake told him. ‘I think it’s a really good idea.’
‘You do, do you?’
‘I warned you this was coming, Gregory,’ Zillah pointed out. ‘But did you believe me?’
‘And I intended coming to speak to you about it before this,’ Raffy told Grumps, ‘only Easter’s been a bit hectic. But I hope you don’t have any real objections?’
‘It doesn’t matter whether he has or not, Raffy, does it?’ I said. ‘Since you will only marry in a church and I can’t very well do that!’
‘Why not?’ asked Zillah, to my surprise. ‘You were christened in All Angels, so there’s no reason why you shouldn’t marry there.’
‘What?’ I exclaimed.
‘Your granny and the last vicar, old Mr Harris, arranged it between them, just like they had when your mother was a baby.’
‘And I was told nothing of this?’ demanded Grumps, outraged.
‘She knew you’d only kick up a fuss, and what you didn’t know couldn’t harm you.’
Raffy gave me a squeeze and smiled down at me. ‘There, you see? I knew you were always on the side of the angels, and now there’s nothing to stop us getting married.’
‘I…suppose there isn’t,’ I agreed slowly. ‘Please say you don’t mind, Grumps?’ I begged. ‘It needn’t change anything: I’d only be living a few yards away and I’ll still be coming over every day to type up your chapters and make Chocolate Wishes.’
‘I perceive that this is yet another example of Christianity absorbing paganism,’ Grumps said darkly, ‘but I suppose if you must, you must.’
‘Oh, thank you, Grumps!’ I said, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, which he suffered, rather in Jake’s manner.
‘And you will come to the wedding?’ Raffy asked.
‘No, but I will be at the reception. You can hold it here in the museum.’
‘That seems a reasonable compromise,’ Raffy agreed.
‘We could even have a double wedding,’ suggested Poppy. ‘But you can’t marry yourself, can you, Raffy?’
‘Not really,’ he said with a grin. ‘But I have a friend who would love to come and perform the ceremony.’
‘It had better be soon,’ Zillah put in.
‘Why?’ I asked, looking at her suspiciously.
‘Never you mind!’ she said. ‘But the sooner the better, you mark my words.’
‘That’s fine by me,’ Raffy said, and then everyone drank a toast to our engagement, and Poppy and Felix’s engagement, followed by one to the museum’s opening…and by that time, only the people who were driving were entirely sober, and the Winter’s End contingent had to leave.
Raffy had to go soon after, too, kissing me before he did, which felt very odd in public.
I was still in a bit of a trance while the room slowly emptied and we closed the doors for lunch, but when finally recalled to the land of the living, it appeared that we had made an inordinate amount of money already, despite no one having paid an entrance charge.
Grumps’ books and pamphlets, which he had been signing with a flourish every time one was shoved under his nose, had sold like hot cakes and so had several boxes of Chocolate Wishes and practically a whole jar of treacle toffee cats, though I couldn’t imagine who had bought them out of the morning’s assembly. I could see Kat and Jake had had one apiece, because the sticks were in the waste-paper basket under the desk.
‘We’ll have to put a fresh stock of books out for this afternoon, Grumps,’ I said, ‘and you could think of expanding the stock of things you sell, with some witch-related souvenirs.’
‘Yes, I think you’d really clean up with more gifts for the visitors to buy,’ agreed Jake.
‘I will give it some thought,’ Grumps said. ‘And perhaps a greater variety of postcards too. I have been asked if there are ones of myself.’ He stroked his beard rather complacently, looked at us and added, ‘All that went very well, don’t you think? Apart from Chloe’s intention to enter into holy matrimony as opposed to anything more logical, and I expect I will grow accustomed even to that, eventually.’
‘You’d better – I told you it was on the cards,’ Zillah said.
‘You didn’t tell me,’ I complained, as we followed the others through the door to the house. ‘And what did you mean by saying to Raffy that we ought to marry sooner than later?’
She took my arm to hold me back and whispered something in my ear. I felt my eyes widen.
‘But – the cards aren’t always right,’ I protested.
‘They are, it’s only the interpretation that’s sometimes wrong,’ she said. ‘I keep telling you!’
After lunch, which I didn’t eat much of, Jake drove Grumps to Winter’s End, where he made a guest appearance dressed as John Dee.
Kat and Zillah held the fort at the museum and I opened up Chocolate Wishes to
the public for the first time and switched on the Bath, so that soon the rich fragrance of criollo couverture was wafting through the door into the museum, drawing in visitors like a magnet.
We were all pretty exhausted by closing time, so it was just as well we were only opening four afternoons a week after this! I still had to finish cleaning up in the workshop and Kat kindly came and helped me, whispering away in her chatty fashion: I only wished I could hear more than one word in five of what she was saying!
We all had dinner together – a hotpot that Zillah had made the day before – and then Jake, Kat and I retired back to the cottage.
The day had been an emotional roller coaster and it wasn’t over yet, because Felix and Poppy had persuaded me to go to the late Saturday night service at All Angels when Raffy would light the Paschal Candle.
And I was glad I did go, even if I was in a trance of such tiredness that everything seemed to be waving about slightly, a sort of underwater ripple effect.
Whether knowing I had been christened there made a difference, I don’t know, but tonight entering the church felt like going home, and there was a moment when I was sure I could see the flickering of angel wings in the candlelight…
And Raffy looked tired and pale, but also tranquil and happy, as if he’d just received the answer to a really important question.
Chapter Thirty-seven
Gran Couva!
It was only just light on Easter Sunday morning when we met in the churchyard like a pair of conspirators. Raffy was carrying the big basket of chocolate eggs.
‘What, no Easter Bunny costume?’
‘Couldn’t get one big enough,’ he said with a grin, kissing me. ‘And look!’ He held aloft a small wooden object.
‘What is it?’
‘A wooden rabbit’s foot! An elderly parishioner who carves walking stick handles made it for me. It’ll save getting Effie’s lucky rabbit’s foot brooch dirty and be much easier to make paw prints in the flowerbeds with.’
We went around hiding the eggs in crevices, under bushes and in low tree branches.
‘Isn’t this a bit irreverent?’ I asked, as he inserted one between the feet of the marble angel that had almost fallen on him.
‘No, because Jesus said, “Suffer little children to come unto me,” and since the church is his house, this is his garden.’
‘I suppose you’re right,’ I said, reflecting that I was going to have to get used to this sort of conversational gambit, now it came with the whole new Raffy package. ‘What about keeping a few eggs back, in case one or two of the children don’t find any?’ I suggested.
‘Good idea. OK.’ He looked at his watch. ‘I’ll take morning prayers in a minute – it’s just a short service today, because the big one is mid-morning and only a couple of regulars will show up. Then the egg hunt will be directly afterwards.’
He gave me a kiss and went off into the church, and a few moments later Effie Yatton arrived to help, with a big roll of Easter Bunny stickers, a picnic table and folding chair, which she erected just inside the gate.
By the time he came out again, there was quite a crowd of excited children and their parents waiting for the off, and Effie had absent-mindedly eaten one of the spare chocolate eggs.
Later that evening an exhausted Raffy and I were sitting on my little sofa, with Arlo curled up and snoring in front of the fire. The lights were off and the curtains open, so we could see Jake and Kat in the garden. He was getting extremely good with the firesticks, weaving intricate patterns in the darkness.
‘I don’t really want to leave my little cottage and walled garden,’ I said drowsily.
‘You don’t have to. Presumably you will still come over here every day anyway, to make Wishes?’
‘Yes, and type up Grumps’ books,’ I said. ‘And Jake can either stay with us, or here in the cottage, in his university holidays, can’t he?’
‘Whichever he prefers,’ Raffy agreed. ‘I think he should have his own room at the vicarage, though, so he knows he’s always welcome. And I’m going to get plans drawn up to install a proper kitchen in the main part of the house, so Maria can just do the cleaning and housekeeping and not the cooking, after we’re married!’
‘You only want me because you think I’m a better cook,’ I accused him.
‘No, I want you because I can’t resist your chocolate,’ he said, kissing me.
‘And I can’t resist you.’ I returned the kiss enthusiastically. ‘You’ve gone from being forastero to criollo and now – gran couva!’
‘I hope that’s a good chocolate?’
‘The best,’ I said simply, then groaned as the phone at my elbow rang. ‘Who on earth can that be?’
‘Chloe, is that you?’ asked a once-familiar, brittle voice.
I sat up straighter. ‘Mum?’
‘Yes, it’s me. Mags said the gaff was blown, so I thought I might as well ring you.’
‘Why? What do you want?’ I demanded suspiciously.
‘Nothing – only that I hear you haven’t got a man yet, so if you want to come out to Goa for a holiday with Mags, I can guarantee to find you one.’
Typical! Six years of silence and then the only thing she’s interested in is whether I’m still single or not!
‘That’s all right,’ I said, relaxing back into Raffy’s embrace, ‘I think I’ve found one for myself.’
Chloe’s chocolate spread
This is a simple ganache of cream and chocolate. Make it in small quantities, since it does not keep for more than a couple of weeks in the fridge.
You will need double cream and chocolate. While Chloe used couverture chocolate, patisserie or any type with a good percentage of cocoa solids will work perfectly well. I prefer very dark, bitter chocolate, but choose the kind you like best.
Have a clean jam jar ready.
For a firm but spreadable consistency, you need roughly equal parts of double cream and chocolate. Grate the chocolate into a bowl, or chop it finely.
Heat the double cream until it is hot but not boiling and then pour it over the chocolate. Stir well until the mixture is smooth and glossy.
At this stage you can add powdered ginger to taste, to make Chloe’s chocolate and ginger spread, or experiment with flavourings like rum or vanilla.
Spoon into the clean jar and allow it to go completely cold before covering and putting it in the fridge.
Making a chocolate Easter egg
This is great fun to do and very easy, if messy!
You will need an Easter egg mould – I have metal and plastic ones in various sizes and they work equally well. Rub the insides with a piece of kitchen paper.
Couverture or patisserie chocolate are best for making hollow shells, but again, any good chocolate will be fine.
Melt the chocolate in a double pan or in a bowl over a pan of simmering water. Do not let steam or water get into the chocolate!
Coat the inside of the moulds with the chocolate. My moulds have a deep, embossed pattern, so I prefer to coat the insides with a pastry brush, just as Chloe did. The alternative is to spoon melted chocolate into the moulds and swirl it around to cover. Whichever method you use, apply three or four coats, then clean any runs from the edges of the mould.
When it has set slightly, turn the moulds upside down on a wire rack and leave them to harden. They will contract slightly as they do so and a little pressure at one end of the mould should release them.
You can stick the two halves together, either with a little melted chocolate, or by heating a baking tray and briefly touching the edges to it before sealing them together. (I put solid chocolate rabbits inside mine before sealing the two halves.)
You can decorate the outside with a ribbon, piped icing – whatever appeals to you. I have made Fabergé-style jewelled eggs, sticking on cake decorations, like little silver balls and frosted, coloured diamonds, using sugar paste. Or simply put the egg inside a cellophane bag with a ribbon tie.
And the very best thing ab
out working with chocolate is that you can eat your mistakes: have fun!
Ten fascinating facts about chocolate
Chocolate can have distinctly different flavours depending on the species of the cocoa bean and the conditions in which the bean was grown.
It is scientifically proven that chocolate contains the ‘love-chemical’ phenylethylamine, and by eating it you receive a similar feeling to when you are in love. Some might even say it is better than a hot date…
A cocoa pod contains roughly 40 to 45 cocoa beans. It takes up to 270 cocoa beans to make 500g of chocolate.
In general, darker chocolate contains a higher percentage of cocoa solids and is more expensive than milk chocolate.
90% of the world’s cocoa is produced by just 9 countries, the majority of which are African.
Cocoa butter melts just slightly below body temperature at around 33°C, which is why it melts in your mouth.
7. The world’s largest Easter egg was created in 2005 by a Belgian chocolate manufacturer and displayed in New Jersey, USA. It weighed in at a colossal 27 feet tall, 21 feet wide and weighed 4,299 pounds. That’s a lot of chocolate…
The first chocolate bar was created in 1847 by the Bristol company Fry & Son.
More than twice as many women eat and crave chocolate than men.
If stored in warm conditions, chocolate can develop a white film called bloom. This occurs because the cocoa butter separates out and melts sugar onto the chocolate’s surface.
Acknowledgement
My grateful thanks go to the following people for so kindly and generously giving up some of their valuable time to help me, and if I have sometimes warped their information to fit my weft, I would like to make it clear that it is none of their doing.
To Annie and Guy of www.scentedgeraniums.co.uk with special thanks for the chocolate-scented geranium, an in spiration in itself. To Gareth and Christopher East of The Chocolate Factory, Hutton le Hole, North Yorkshire, www. The-Chocolate-Factory.co.uk whose expert knowledge is reflected in their delicious chocolate. And last, but certainly not least, to Rev. Canon Frances Wookey, Vicar of Hanley Swan & Welland and Rural Dean of Upton, who bears absolutely no blame whatsoever for the views or goings-on of my extremely alternative Vicar!
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