by Susan Bliler
***
“YOU’VE GOT THIRTY SECONDS!” Her Commander bellowed to the room of new recruits.
Sam felt the nervous energy pouring off the other cadets. She wasn’t like them. She knew she’d either fail or pass, and she truly didn’t give a damn which way things went.
Dr. Chambers had sent her here. She’d been enrolled to learn a skill set that would benefit the Megalya, and while she was relieved to be free of the hive, it sucked that it was only to support the Megalya cause.
The Commander paced down the line of six men and Sam—the lone female—as they stood at attention. Eyes focused on the wall in front of them, Sam tried to muster a good adrenaline rush in hopes of passing whatever this next test would be.
She’d been in training for only four weeks, and it’d been hell. Physically, she was spent. It had been difficult for her to keep up with the men, but her worn-out body was the least of her worries. No, she was emotionally drained as well. Each recruit had undergone extensive physical testing the first two weeks. That had tapered off to routine calisthenics and fight simulation. The next two weeks were what nearly did her in. The intense psychological screening and testing had been almost impossible to endure…almost. It only took Sam sixty minutes to realize the goal of the psych eval was to break the cadet. They wanted their recruits torn down to the bone with pure, raw emotion exposed. She’d given all the right answers, bought herself time, and when she knew it was appropriate she gave them the insight they were looking for, though certainly not in the manner they’d expected. No, her secrets had been divulged with a stoic disconnect. No emotion shown, and why would there be emotion? Her entire story had been a lie. No one could ever know her truth.
“THIRTY SECONDS!” the Commander bellowed again. “Behind you on the screen, you will find a simulation of five of your fellow agents. Each will be in a different setting, each will be under a different cover, each in varying stages of breaching their cover. From their surroundings and their appearance, you will have to determine which out of the five is the greatest threat to the agency. Once you make your selection, you will draw your simulated weapon and take out that threat.
Sam rolled her eyes and shook her head when the large guy next to her tensed.
“When you turn, you will have only thirty seconds to read the situation, decipher which of the agents is a potential threat to the agency, and take your shot. Based on the training you’ve received you will prioritize which of the agents on the screen can be or has been compromised and remove that threat. Am I clear?”
The idiot next to Sam drew his weapon simulator, which was basically a 9mm Beretta with the firing components removed and replaced with an infrared light that worked in accord with the large screen to calculate shot accuracy and timing once the trigger was pulled.
“You will turn in three, two…one!”
Sam turned and drew her firearm. Each of her six teammates did the same, then stood with their weapons extended out in front of them in the proper stance as their greedy little eyes assessed each of the five split screens to make their determination.
Sam didn’t hesitate. Without blinking an eye, she lifted her pistol with one arm and fired. Then fired. And fired. And fired. And fired, until all five screens were blinking and all five agents were covered with a large red ‘X’.
The simulator rang out each of her shots, and then the room fell silent as the screen went black. Six pairs of eyes turned to gape at her before the Commander crossed to bend his head, going nose-to-nose with her, angry hands planted on rigid hips. “Recruit Michaels! What. In. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing?” He dropped his hands, fisting them at his sides. “Were my instructions un-fucking clear? I said, take out the threat. THE threat.”
Sam holstered her weapon and stood at attention, looking through the head that was still inches in front of hers. “Sir. I did, Sir.”
“You decimated my fucking team, Michaels! Explain yourself!”
Sam blinked in indifference and droned, “Varying stages of compromised cover is a blown cover. All of the agents were a threat to the agency. They all failed.”
The room was silent, no one moving for long minutes. Finally, the Commander drew in a breath and straightened to his full height. He turned to stare down the line of other recruits. “The rest of you are dismissed. Get the fuck out of my training room.” For a second no one moved and the Commander barked. “MOOOOOVE!”
***
Blinking, she drew herself back to the present, lifting her eyes to pin Bellis with a cold hard gaze. Her heart was racing, but she kept her mask in place, her tone even. “Your plea is surprisingly underwhelming, Skin Walker. Now take your fucking hands off me.”
Chapter 17
Bellis didn’t know if he wanted to shake the shit out of her or kiss her lying fucking mouth. What he did know was that he couldn’t take his hands off her.
He watched as her expression blanked. “Walk away now, Demon.” She lowered her head and her delicate brows furrowed until she was glaring up at him. “This isn’t a game you want to play. Not now, and certainly not with me.” Her tone filled with conviction. “I promise you, once I hold on, I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds.”
Releasing her, he stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing on her. A rolling growl began deep in his chest and rumbled forth. “I’m gonna kill them, Sam. I’m gonna find who broke you, who made you think and feel this way about yourself, and I am going to fucking end them, Princess.”
“I’m not your concern, Demon.”
“I’m making you my concern.”
“Honest to God, I’ll break your heart.” She lifted her chin a little and her sneer faltered a moment, regret twisting her features. “I’m going to tear you to pieces. I’ll rip you apart, Skin Walker.” She shook her head and her eyes turned imploring, her tone reluctant. “Run while you can.”
“You don’t have to keep doing this,” he ground out. “I understand that this is how you’ve survived, but…”
Sam dropped her head back as a humorless laugh bubbled its way up her throat. She chuckled a moment before dropping her head, her eyes narrowing on him. “Is that what you think? That I’ve been…surviving?” She said the word as if the bitter taste of it on her tongue was an affront. Slowly she shook her head, dipping her chin to glare up at him. “I haven’t been surviving. I’ve been doing this since I was child! I know nothing else. I’m not just getting by here. I am not a survivor. I’m a fucking warrior! I choose this! This is my life!”
A muscle in Bellis’ jaw twitched as he frowned darkly. “By the Gods, Sam! How did you become this?”
She canted her head. “You’re not listening, Skin Walker. I was born this way.”
“No, you weren’t! Monroe told me you loved once.”
In a rare display, she was shocked into silence, her cruel veneer slipping as her eyes rounded in shock. It lasted only a moment before she recovered. “Love,” she drawled the word mockingly. “There is no love in this world.” She smirked at him. “You’ll learn that the hard way. All of you will. I promise.”
He wanted to shiver at the dark oath her words held. If he’d learned anything in the short time he’d known her, it was that Sam didn’t make promises she didn’t keep.
“Why?” he implored, shaking his head. “You don’t have to go through this hell alone, Sam.”
“Go through hell?” She snorted in clear derision. “Please. I don’t merely go through it. I own the fucking place!”
“I’m just trying to help you,” he snarled, at the end of his patience. “I’m here to help, and this is how you make me pay?”
“Underestimating one’s foe is a foolish trait, and one that I won’t own. I never underestimated you, Demon Walker.”
His pride at her words was short lived.
“I always expected the worst. You’re the failure here, because it is you who underestimated me. A costly mistake, because I am worse. My soul is black as night. The devil himself would b
e afraid.” She dipped her head to sneer up at him, a cruel twist to her full lips. “You should be afraid. Now, let me show you what kind of monster I can be.”
Bellis had little time to react. The last thing he’d expected was Sam to hurtle herself at him. Just as he instinctively jerked his arms up to catch her, her fist connected with his jaw. It didn’t hurt, it couldn’t. There wasn’t enough weight to her slight frame to do more than snap his head to the side and rock him off balance as the weight of her crashed fully into him as they fell to the ground. He’d had to twist to take the full impact so she wouldn’t be hurt, and Sam capitalized by hitting him again before he snarled, “Stop!” She was strong, but not strong enough.
She didn’t listen, and honestly, he hadn’t expected her to.
Rolling, Bellis had Sam pinned to the ground, his legs bracketed on either side of hers, his iron-like grip holding her wrists pinned beside her head as she struggled beneath him. Unable to break free, Sam screamed at him, “I TRIED TO BE SOMEONE ELSE! NOTHING CHANGED!” She shook her head with a deranged sob. “I know now.” Her next words were spoken so low, he’d have missed them if he weren’t a Walker. “This is who I really am inside.”
The words spoken with such regret, such despair, had his heart wrenching even as she jerked her knee up, hitting him in the groin and sending him rolling off her.
Damn she was fast, and vicious, and…broken. Bellis rolled to his knees, ignoring the throbbing pain between his legs. At least the ache took his mind off his desire for Sam. Though, fight as she may, his stupid fucking beasts were still convinced she was theirs. He wasn’t sure when it had happened, or how even, but he was in this now.
***
Sam knew she was acting crazy, but she couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop it. Bellis was drawing this weakness from her and that couldn’t happen. She couldn’t afford the gnawing desire to hurtle herself into his arms and beg his protection. Even now, part of her wanted to confide in him, to trust that he’d take her back to Monroe, back to the truth, but she couldn’t afford that. Someone had told the Megalya when she was being transported from StoneCrow, and contrary to popular belief, she hadn’t been able to get a transmission out. No, someone else was feeding the Megalya intel from inside the Estate, and it wasn’t her. Problem was, it could have been any of the Walkers or Keepers who were part of her transport, and that included Bellis. Maybe there wasn’t a spy, maybe the Megalya had intercepted information, but it wasn’t a chance she could take. She remembered clearly the last time she’d even considered confiding in a man. It nearly broke her, and right now, her giving Bellis any sway over her would have the power to do the same. Bellis could destroy her and she had to keep that from happening, no matter the cost.
Bellis was on one knee, frowning at her darkly from where he was planted in front of the open cell door. She considered just making a running leap for it, but the big bastard was so damn tall that even on his knees he blocked out half the door.
As if reading her mind, he reached back with one arm, gripping a bar on the door, and shoved hard, sending it slamming closed.
She eyed the closed door and wanted to scream. That had been her chance, and all she could do now was pray there’d be another.
“One day very soon,” he warned, drawing her attention. “You are going to have to choose a side. You’re either with us or with them, Sam. Those are your only two choices. I suggest you choose wisely.”
She snorted. “I’ve chosen a side.”
He waited.
Sam lifted her chin haughtily. “The side I choose is homicide.”
Bellis’ brows speared down hard, a sneer twisting his lips as a growl rattled up from his chest.
“And when I’m done with homicide, all that’s left will be suicide.” She angled her face away from him. “Those are my only two options, Demon. Now leave!”
Bellis slowly got to his feet. “By the Gods, you are impossible.” He turned to the door and stopped, but didn’t look back. “I know what you’re doing, Sam. Your actions speak louder than your beautiful, lying fucking mouth. I know some deal has been struck between you and Monroe.” He didn’t know it, but he had his suspicions. “You aren’t a Skin Walker. It doesn’t make sense you’d risk so much for us.” He turned his head so she could see his profile. “You feel unwanted with them,” he stated quietly, “So you give us what we need in the hopes that we’ll want you. You give us what you hope you deserve.” He quieted a moment. “Don’t question it, Sam. You deserve better than the Megalya. I don’t need to know a lot about you, or them, to know that much.”
“You know nothing! You’re a male, and all a male knows is his own sick fucking desires.” She blinked but didn’t look at him. Her eyes took on a far-off look. “It’s always about what the male wants, right?”
“You’ve been living with monsters, Sam. Don’t pretend you know anything of men.”
“You’re right. What were once men are now sick creatures…monsters, as you say. Such a perfect word. Still…” She blinked, and her brows speared down as she kept her focus ahead. “Monsters have the same urges as men. No,” she shook her head and quickly countered. “Not the same. Worse.”
Bellis’ heart stalled in his chest, but he turned to fully face her, though everything in him wanted to not face what she was hinting at.
“Being secluded to the Hive was hard on them.” Her eyes narrowed. “At first they’d just go into this frenzy, and fight each other until one was dead, or they were both too exhausted. Blood. Blood everywhere. Then something changed, and they needed something to fight over.”
Bellis watched her silently, his gut twisting. Part of him wanted to tell her to stop, because he was certain he didn’t want to hear what she was about to say.
“One night they went into a frenzy, and they were screaming at each other, ‘She’s mine!’ It took all of two seconds for me to realize they were fighting over me. I was the only ‘she’ there. I made a run for it, and when I got to the exit tunnel, Odium was there.” She snorted a humorless sound. “Stupid fucking girl,” she spat, her words full of self-loathing. “I actually thought he was there to help get me out. When he grabbed me, I knew. He’d been the one to turn their attention on me. He told me it was my duty. I needed to keep the monsters placated, preoccupied…entertained. Worst part is…” Her words faltered, as if she weren’t sure she wanted to continue. After a long moment, she looked him dead in the eye. “Odium is my brother.”
The statement froze Bellis, ice flashing through his veins. His nostrils flared as he sought any indication of a lie.
Sam smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Sniff all you want, it’s the truth.”
“But he’s a…”
“No! He’s not a Megalya. He’s the Megalya. He is a God of War, and he is your enemy, which makes me your enemy. I am enemy to both Keepers and Skin Walkers alike. Why do you think Monroe asked Fatal to imprison me? He was too afraid to have me at StoneCrow. I work for my brother…with my brother. I am fear, hate, and death all wrapped in one. I am your worst fucking nightmare, Demon.”
“How…how have you lived like this?” he asked on a whisper.
She didn’t speak for long moments, then finally answered in a wounded tone, “Humans are a lot like wounded wild animals. We have no idea how much we can endure until we are forced to survive.”
When Bellis didn’t speak, Sam smirked. “Worse than you could have ever imagined, isn’t it?” She took a deep breath and let her head fall forward, her shoulders slumping dejectedly. “How do you think I felt? He let them have me.”
Bellis’ hands were shaking now, and he balled them into tight fists to still them. He didn’t want to hear this, he couldn’t hear this, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to walk away. If Sam had the strength to purge this, then he sure as fuck had the strength to hear it.
“I fought him the entire way back, but I was only human. Just turned nineteen. I was a kid, no match for a full grown Megalya.” She canted her head, her e
yes still distant. “That was only the first time. I learned quickly not to fight. Sick fucks actually enjoyed it.”
“If Monroe left you there,” Bellis began, his words barely recognizable with the animalistic snarl polluting them.
Sam’s head jerked around, and she glared at him. “STOP! Just stop with your fucking Monroe StoneCrow! You think if I had a way out that I’d have stayed? I’m not that fucking noble, Demon! I’m making a point is all.” She turned back to stare at the wall. “That you’re all the same. Your wants, your needs come before all others.” She turned to sneer at him. “Even you. You’re holding me here because you need to be a good little Walker Sentry.”
“Assassin,” he amended, through clenched teeth.
Sam chuffed a laugh. “If you were an assassin, I’d be dead. You’re an errand boy. Doing your Dominant’s dirty work for a pat on the head.” She faced him, letting her head fall to the side as her expression became studious. Her eyes slowly tripped down his frame before moving up just as leisurely. She lifted her hands to the zipper on the front of her formfitting suit and began pulling it down ever so slowly. “Do my bidding, Demon.” She dipped her chin to look up at him with a mischievous grin as she drew the zipper down even further, her knuckles skimming the swell of her breasts, then lower still to reveal bare skin down to her navel.
She wore no bra and creamy skin peeked at him as the fullness of her breasts strained against the fabric that no longer held them captive. Sam’s hands stilled, leaving her suit unzipped to her waist. Slowly, her grin disappeared as she lifted her hands and played with the fabric on either side of her exposed cleavage. Bellis’ eyes were locked on the skin she’d revealed, and despite the fact that he knew she was toying with him, he couldn’t tear his eyes away.
“I’ll do more than pat you on the head, Skin Walker.”
His eyes jerked back up to hers. He hated it when she called him that. Skin Walker. She said it like an insult, and he knew she did it to distance herself from him, just like when she called him Demon. She had yet to use his name, and it was really starting to piss him off.
