“I mean we’re okay. As long as you don’t open the other door.”
Kal took a step back, closer to the door.
“Kal,” he said, his voice soft. “Please. Trust me now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? That there was something more.”
“We all have secrets.”
Kal’s chin was up. She wanted to argue, but he’d said the one fact she couldn’t argue with. “You knew I was coming out here?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. I woke up and I knew.”
Like she’d woken up last night, knowing she needed to come here.
“Do you trust me a little?” His eyebrows were raised, his face open. Familiar.
She didn’t answer, collecting her thoughts. As she opened her mouth to speak he lunged for her, fast as a snake, crushing her in a bear hug she couldn’t escape. She sank her teeth into his shoulder in passing as he swept her off the ground, swinging her lower body up around behind him until she was draped over his shoulders, before she could cry out or wriggle loose. Her body was a U-shaped pretzel curved around him, her legs and arms pinned. She tried to whack him with her head, battering it against his side, without effect.
His strength scared her. He was stronger than he should be.
“Settle,” he grunted. He extracted one of her hands, pinching her elbow so she had no control of her arm, and held her hand against a different part of the code panel. The outer door resealed.
Without another word he tucked her arm back in and strode back down the corridor, down the spiral, and out the open rear hatch, restraining her all the way. The cold air hit her like a smack. Kal couldn’t make a sound. She was numb all over.
Who was this? This was her friend. This was who she trusted. The person who’d become her own personal refuge. They understood each other on an elemental level. She still knew this was true.
Now what he’d done in the Land was true, too.
“I don’t want to restrain you.” He let her go, sliding her back around to his front, placing her feet on the ground. She stumbled in her haste to get the hell away from him, out of grabbing distance.
He sat down on the ground, darkness all around. He dropped his head, his hands clasped over the back of it.
Kal roamed the space in the periphery, not too close to him or the ship, her thinking unclear. She didn’t trust herself. “Why did you do that?”
He shook his head, not looking up.
“Why did you do that? Who the fuck are you?”
“Listen to me,” he said, low and guttural.
“Why?” she spat.
“If you want an answer.”
She sat down, two meters away, ready to jump up if he made a move toward her.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
Kal gave a snort of disdain. That was the least of it, and he knew it. It wasn’t her body he’d hurt.
She’d never been that physically close to him. They seldom touched. That time when she’d first disembarked from the Ocean, when her gloved palms joined his bare ones. On the tableland with Tess, a group hug. Flying around him in a circle on the best day.
Being held by him, even over his shoulders, a dead wolf in a fairytale, had been unfamiliar, unsettling. Jumpy and angry, she was upset for so many reasons she couldn’t separate them, except for the most important one—he’d lied to her by omission.
“You can’t go in there, Kal. There’s a reason it’s locked up.”
She waited in a bitter silence.
“We’ve hidden things from you. We had to. All of you need to be here before Cooley can talk about any of it. The others don’t even remember.”
“What do you mean?”
“Flicker gave them something, to forget. After Sextant.”
“So she knows. And Cooley.” Her lower lip shook from anger. “And you.”
“I found out again. Then I remembered it all.”
“Because you wandered around the Land.”
He raised his head for the first time, looking her in the eye. “Yes. Like you.”
Kal was shivering and found it hard to stop. “Do I know you?”
“Yes.”
He said it with conviction, but she remembered his strength. “What’s wrong with you?” She whispered it, and in the hollow, without wind, he heard her.
“I don’t know.”
“You’re too…”
“I know.”
“You used it against me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t need you to protect me from myself.”
“Kal.” He rubbed his eyes. He looked exhausted. “You’re a captain. You outrank me. You outthink me. You could already do my job better than I do. I know all those things. Give me a little, a tiny bit of credit. A little bit of belief. Can you do that?”
“You grabbed me. You could have told me, instead.”
“With the outer door already released, I couldn’t take the risk.”
She examined this. Thought about what she would have done in his place. “All right,” she said.
“We’re okay?”
“As long as you have a damn good reason.”
“I can’t tell you the reason. It’s for Cooley.”
Again, Kal thought of herself and Sasha in this position, instead of Roan and Cooley. She would do the same thing for Sasha. “Okay. I get it.”
Relief washed over his face. “Really?”
“Yes.”
He lay himself back on the ground, slowly, as if his body hurt. Starfished, except for one forearm covering his eyes.
She crawled over, crouched next to him. “You were really scared,” she said.
He nodded from beneath his forearm.
“Something bad happened.”
One more nod.
“You’re scared about what could happen here.”
“Stop trying to figure it out,” he said, his voice muffled.
“Can’t help it.”
“I know.” He took his arm away.
Still, as if sculpted in place, they studied each other. She read his thoughts. She thought he read hers.
She stood up, still looking down at him. With one wide step, she stood astride, spanning him. She looked down from this perspective. His eyes were almost sleepy. Relaxed.
Lowering herself, she sat cautiously on his chest, her knees and shins settling on the ground as she shifted, each knee in the hollow of his underarms. She put one hand on his head, clutched his hair. Pulled his head up. With the other hand she made a motion, as if with a knife. She lay his head back down.
His eyes were wide now, with fear or something like it. She brushed her hands off.
Tess didn’t try to share a flopper with Kal anymore, on reading nights. Tess could sense the shift between Roan and Kal. Kal didn’t like it, but it wasn’t up to her what Tess did.
Roan lay next to Kal, lying on his stomach a little behind Kal in her chair-shaped flopper. At some point she realized he positioned himself that way so he could watch her react to the story. She decided she didn’t mind.
12
Landing
When pod one was scheduled to arrive, the whole population of Demeter awaited them. Lined up like an honor guard. Pod one was directed to land closer to the biohab than the Ocean had been. It would take up a tiny fraction of the space of a starship. Plus Kal thought Cooley might trust Sasha’s captaincy skills more than Kal’s. In any case, they didn’t have that far to go in the rollers. There were only nine of them to report to the landing zone. Three on one side, two on the other, Cooley ahead, all standing at attention. Flicker, Roan, and Murph were suited up and in the three two-room decontamination tents, waiting for the six unfortunate people soon to be processed through them.
Kal found herself curiously unemotional about the arrival, which was strange. The moment she’d longed for was here, but it was as if her need for community was already met. That longing for connection fulfilled.
She stood with Tess on the right. In the other line were Crenshaw, Stacer, and Sam.
Kal was proud to have the Mythian bar on her uniform, an external proof of the change she’d been through, the advancement of ability and stamina shown in an external mark she would wear forever.
They all squinted at the sky, looking for the pod. Like clockwork, it appeared within a minute of their formation. Silver and charcoal, a colorless thing in comparison to the starships, it descended slowly, the shearing sound of thrusters under control, directing its precise placement before them, on the X burned into the grass.
It landed. No one moved.
After what seemed like a long time, the door opened. A ramp glided down. Noor appeared. Kal smiled and wanted to wave, but she supposed she shouldn’t break position until Cooley indicated. Maybe she should be standing beside Cooley, instead of with the others? It hadn’t crossed her mind before. It was hard to break the habits of automatic subordination.
Noor took a step, as if unsure of her footing. Cooley looked back to the two lines, as if to make sure they stayed put. They all had their ears covered as the pod screeched its final gasping keen of power-down.
Noor tottered down the ramp and disappeared into the interconnected tents.
Chyron was next. Each pod inhabitant appeared in turn, before they shuffled down the ramp. Gwendy. Tafari. Ogechi. The familiar faces looked unfamiliar, here, like they didn’t belong.
The last to appear was Sasha. Kal expected her heart to leap. It didn’t. She wondered what she should do. Should she step forward? Cooley herself took that decision out of her hands before Kal could make a move. Cooley strode forward. She saluted, waiting until Sasha saw her before dropping it. Kal’s eyebrows shot up to the vicinity of her hairline. Sasha saluted back before she too was swallowed by the white tent.
Once everyone was in the tents, all the rest of them had to do was wait. Four rollers waited to take them to the biohabs.
Now Kal could imagine what it had been like for the biohabbers when she had been in the tent. Sympathetic, but trying not to think too much about what was happening.
Although Sasha was the last in, she was the first out, clad in her new exosuit. Cooley hovered nearby.
Cooley waited for Sasha to have a moment standing on her own on Demeter. Once Sasha had that moment, Cooley reached forward and took Sasha’s gloved hands. They stood together on the patch of ground outside the tent for a long time, speaking to each other, Kal thought, though she couldn’t hear, or see either of their faces, as Cooley’s back was to her and Sasha was directly in front of Cooley.
As they emerged, the crew were hustled off into rollers, not brought near Kal to say hello. Kal’s head swiveled, watching the rollers take off around her, heading back to the biohab. These might be Flicker’s orders. It deprived Kal of the reunion she thought she’d have. Even Sasha was led by Cooley right to a roller and zoomed away. Kal didn’t know if Sasha had even seen her.
Kal stood in what was left of the formation. She was the only one in her line. Tess had zoomed off on a roller. Crenshaw and Sam were still there. She looked over at them. Crenshaw nodded to her and he and Sam moseyed back toward the final roller. Kal trailed behind them. She got into the back seat. No one said anything on the ride back to the biohab.
Inside the biohab, there wasn’t an Ocean traveler in sight. Of course, Kal knew Flicker had hustled them all off into quarantine. Kal was alone in the biohab with Crenshaw and Sam. The other two drifted off toward the dining area. Kal followed again.
She said, “Crenshaw?”
His head came up from where he was getting himself a drink.
“Would you read to us?”
She’d never asked him to read before. She’d never had to, as it happened so regularly she never needed to ask. She would have felt out of place asking. Now, though, she found she could.
“From Chance Talon,” she said.
Crenshaw, an ascetic-looking figure, his face all planes and angles, who Kal could imagine was a beekeeper in another life on Earth, that or a biomorg imager, said, “The others would miss the part I read.”
“You could read that part again tonight or whenever you picked it up. I wouldn’t mind. Would you, Sam?”
Sam shook her head.
Crenshaw smiled gently at Kal. “I don’t mind.” He finished his drink in a few gulps and sat down on the chair-shaped flopper, higher than all the others, where he usually sat to read.
Kal settled down very close, where she liked to be. Sam sat next to her. They were all near the heater, just the three of them. It was cozy.
Confined in the cargo hold in the depths of the Boundless, Chance knew her yells for help went unheard. Now she knew who the treasonous crew members were, she could alert the whole galactic defense force, if only she were free. Here, she was at their mercy.
Unless…
The trusty ship mascot Isobel 18 sometimes trolled through the cargo holds doing security checks—not in case of space pirates, who didn’t inhabit this quadrant—but to make sure none of the valuable shipments had come loose during warp speed transitions. If Isobel 18 happened to be doing her rounds down on this level before the traitors returned, Chance had a chance.
“Kal? Kal?”
“Kal?” The voice wasn’t coming from Crenshaw, or inside the world of the book, but Cooley. “Kal, Captain Sarno is asking for you.” Cooley stood outside the little circle of storytelling, her hands clasped behind her back, feet planted wide.
Kal extricated herself from the flopper, which almost tripped her. “Is she all right?”
“So far, so good,” Cooley said. It almost looked like Cooley gave Kal a nod of captainly comradeship as Kal passed.
The long aisle of containment apartments were identical, and Kal had no idea which Sasha was in. She hung around in the hallway, reluctant to go back to ask Cooley. Before long, Flicker popped out of one of the sealed doors, wearing her biohazard suit.
“Captain Sarno wants to see me,” Kal said.
Flicker waved her to the locker which held the biosuits. “You’re one of us now,” Flicker said. “Remember?”
Kal was both flattered and dismayed by this description. She couldn’t be a biohabber, could she? But she was not a podder. What was she, exactly? And if Kal herself didn’t know, who did?
Once she’d painstakingly put on the pieces of the biohazard suit, she asked through her voice filter, “Where’s her room?”
“Number one,” Flicker said. “Of course.”
“Of course,” Kal echoed.
Flicker put her hand over the lock so Kal could have entry.
The door slurped open, and Kal was sucked in.
Sasha sat in the translucent chair, a bucket in her lap. She sat next to the vent where the heat came out, as if it were a fire to warm herself by.
Kal was fully inside with the door suctioned shut behind her before Sasha turned her head.
Seeing her well for the first time, Kal tried to conceal her shock. Sasha’s face was drawn and grey, hollows under her eyes, her hair hanging down on the sides of her face as it never had on the Ocean.
Frozen to where she stood for a few long seconds, Kal stepped forward. She knelt next to Sasha. “Are you very sick? I was.”
Sasha tried to clear her throat. Kal remember how her own had ached and rasped at the beginning.
“Not too bad,” she said, sounding like her vocal cords were made of sandpaper.
Wanting to ask her questions, Kal held back. It was something she’d learned since she’d been here. She waited, not trying to take Sasha’s hand, or express any unwanted sympathy.
“Good to be here,” Sasha said.
“It will only get better. Every day it gets easier.”
Sasha nodded. “Good to see you.”
“You, too.”
“How are they?” Sasha flicked her eyes toward the outside.
“They’re good. They’re kind.”
Sasha raised her eyebrows but nodd
ed again. Exhaustion radiated from her like fumes.
Kal felt tired just looking at her. “A little rest helps a lot with the nausea.”
“Want to make sure others are okay.”
“I’ll check on them for you. Everyone.”
Sasha stared at her, as if remembering her change in status. She nodded.
“I’ll get Flicker. See you when you wake up.”
Sasha smiled a little. Her lips were so dry they cracked. She touched her mouth. A flutter of her fingers signaled her acquiescence. Kal stood and backed her way to the door. She spoke over the comm, asking Flicker to come. Sasha sat with her arms balanced on the bucket. Kal thought the only reason her head wasn’t slumped over it was because Kal was in the room.
When Flicker finally came, Kal didn’t hide her alarm as they exchanged glances out of Sasha’s view. Flicker shook her head at Kal, as if to say, It’s not a problem. Kal gestured for Flicker to come back out into the hallway with her. She slammed the door button. Flicker had to do it again for it to work, since Kal wasn’t approved for such privileges.
“What’s wrong with her?”
“Did you look in a mirror when you arrived?”
“You didn’t have any for me in there, remember?”
“You looked bad. It’s not unusual.”
“You didn’t see her before. She doesn’t look anything like that. She looks ill. Worse than I felt.”
“Let me reassure you, you looked like hell. She’ll be fine.”
Kal was reminded of Inger and was vaguely comforted by Flicker’s similarity. Being under impatient medical orders was par for the course. They couldn’t escape it, even in the middle of the Milky Way.
“She better.” Kal couldn’t help coming out with a snappy rejoinder of her own. This was her crew. They were in their weakest state and it was her job to make sure they got the best. Like she’d had.
“You’re okay, aren’t you?” Flicker said.
“I don’t know. I haven’t found a mirror to check.”
Flicker slapped one of her extra gloves into Kal’s hand. “You can get into the isolation rooms with this.”
Call of Worlds Page 13
