I’d only hurt him—kill him the minute I dared to take off the suit, she reminded herself sternly. And even though she felt less and less for the man who had taught her to feel in the first place, she still didn’t want that. Didn’t want to harm him.
You will, K. When the time comes you will remember who you really are—an agent of Purity. A Paladin who fears nothing and feels nothing. And then you will act.
The High Sentinel’s words echoed in her head and K wasn’t so sure anymore. Who knew what she might do when the suit finished leaching away all her emotions? When it had sucked them out of her like the vampiric parasite Boone had always claimed it was. Who knew what would happen if she ever encountered him again?
Please…don’t let it happen. Don’t let me see him ever again. The tiny prayer hurt, even with the suit dragging at her—it pierced her heart and left a dull pain just behind her breast bone. K tried to ignore it. What else could she do?
She soon lost track of the days. Pacing back and forth in the tiny cell allotted to her, she tried to clear her mind, to blank out anything but the pure hum of nothingness that surrounded and invaded her. It was easier that way—less painful. And while she tried to forget, the suit did its work. Slowly but surely, the thoughts and dreams of Boone finally began to fade.
At last, more than a week after he had first appeared, the High Sentinel came back.
“Well, K?” he said, stepping into her room, the black cloak his office demanded swirling around his tall, lean frame and boney shoulders. “What is it to be?”
“Sir!” K stood at attention.
The High Sentinel looked at her closely. “Who are you, K?”
“I am a Paladin, Sir,” she rapped back, chin up, shoulders back. “Paladin fourth class.”
“Is that right? Let me see your eyes.”
K opened her eyes wide and stared straight ahead, knowing what he would find when he looked. The dull silver walls of her prison cell were reflective enough to show that her eyes were almost completely back to normal. Only the thinnest sliver of white remained around their outside edges.
“I see the new skinsuit has done its job well,” the High Sentinel said approvingly. “Tell me, Paladin, what do you feel?”
K gave the correct response without hesitation. “Sir, I am a Paladin. I fear nothing, I feel nothing.”
“Very good.” He nodded. “And what is your mission?”
“To spread the light of Purity to all corners of the universe and beyond, Sir.”
“And those who are Impure? The inhabitants of Eros?”
“They must be purged, Sir.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “All of them?”
“Sir, all of them, Sir.” K still stared straight ahead.
“Even the giant? This Boone you cared so deeply for?” he demanded.
K gave him a cold look. “Especially him, Sir.”
“Very good! Very good, indeed.” The High Sentinel reached behind his back and pulled something long and black from beneath his cloak. He handed it to K.
“It’s only a blaster,” he said as she took it without comment, checked the charge and load, and then holstered it on her hip where her skinsuit automatically made a place for it. “You’ll get your gauntlets back—or rather, a new pair—in good time.”
“That time can’t come soon enough for me, Sir,” K said coolly.
“I concur, Commander K.” The High Sentinel rubbed his long, thin hands together, producing a dry, sandpapery sound. “Well, then, I think we are ready to proceed. We will board my personal gunship and set a course for Eros.”
“At once, Sir.” K fell into step beside him as the door slid open, letting them out into a long, narrow metal hallway. At last she was leaving her prison. Maybe she could leave the thoughts and dreams and memories behind her. Maybe she could finally forget…
“Halt! Stop right there.”
The deep, commanding voice came from the hallway to her left. K jerked her head in that direction and saw that a squad of Paladins was jogging along the corridor on an intercept route with herself and the High Sentinel.
Or no…not Paladins. At least, not like any she had ever seen. For while they all wore the black skinsuit, these soldiers moved with a free and easy grace that bespoke individual control that was foreign to a true Paladin’s nature. Also, they didn’t run in formation and their movements weren’t exactly identical. Clearly there was something not quite right about them.
As they came closer, K saw that their suits were marked. There was a red handprint over the left breast of each black suit—it stood out like freshly spilled blood. No Paladin would voluntarily deface their skinsuit. Who were these people?
The leader of the squad came to a halt before them, blocking the way forward.
“What do you want, Paladin? And what have you done to your suit?” The High Sentinel’s mouth twitched down in the faintest of frowns. Clearly he sensed something wrong about these soldiers as well.
“We want the girl—Commander K.” Suddenly a blaster appeared in the leader’s hand. “Hand her over and maybe I won’t blow a hole through that shriveled black husk you call a heart, High Sentinel.”
The High Sentinel’s eyes widened. “Who are you?”
“Someone you tried to have purged.” The leader opened his cowl, revealing steel gray eyes and a frowning mouth.
“Hesler.” The High Sentinel’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here? How dare you bring your squad of Tainted among those who are still pure?”
A hint of a smile played around the leader’s thin-lipped mouth. “I owed a favor to a friend. And I liked the idea of ghosting your boney ass. Now will you hand her over or do I shoot?”
“I—” But K never got to hear what the High Sentinel would have said. From the back of the squad, a very large figure was pushing his way forward. He wore a skinsuit like the rest but there was something familiar in the way he moved. When he got to the front of the squad, he pressed the tab at the side of his ear and the cowl of the suit slid up revealing light-on-white eyes the color of the ocean.
“Boone?” K asked, her throat suddenly tight despite her suit. Then the needles bit into her forearms and she felt a cool rush of nothingness wash over her. “What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice cold.
“I came for you, darlin’.” Boone reached for her. “I’m here to take you home.”
Chapter Twenty-eight
Boone leaned forward, trying to reach her, but Hesler put a hand on his shoulder.
“Damn it, giant, I told you to hang back until we had her. You’re just making yourself a target—an almighty damn big one at that.”
“K won’t hurt me.” Boone spoke with more certainty than he felt. K’s eyes were no longer brilliant purple with triple gold rings—they were black on black—as dark as when he had first seen her. And the look in those eyes was cold…so cold.
She stepped away from his reaching hand and her own hand slid down to her hip. Boone’s eyes widened when he saw she was caressing the hilt of a blaster.
“Well, now. This is an interesting development. My dear K, who could have imagined your loyalty would be tested so soon?” The boney old bastard Hesler had called High Sentinel seemed to be enjoying the scene playing out. Though his pure black eyes meant he was supposed to be completely emotionless, Boone swore he could see the corners of his mouth twitching up in a sadistic smile.
“K,” he tried again. “Darlin’, it’s time to come back now. Time to come home.”
“A Paladin has no home.” Her voice was as cold as her stare. “We voyage through space purifying the Impure and spreading the light of Purity to all.”
“That isn’t you anymore. It isn’t what you do,” Boone said hoarsely. “Baby, please, come back to me.” He reached for her again and again K stepped away. Suddenly the sleek, black blaster was in her hand.
“That’s right Commander K.” The High Sentinel was practically smirking now. “Do your duty. Purge the one who contam
inated you.”
“Watch out,” Hesler muttered to Boone in a low voice. “They must have given her a new suit to retrain her. Step back and shield yourself, giant.”
“I’m telling you, she won’t hurt me,” Boone insisted. His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was shaking his entire body. And yet he took another step toward her. “Please, K…”
“Shoot him!” The High Sentinel’s voice cracked like a whip. “Purge him, Paladin. Commit him to Purity and we will deal with the rest together.”
At last K spoke. “I told you once I would kill you,” she said to Boone, her voice as hard as her eyes. “I warned you not to discount my threat.”
“I’ve never discounted you,” Boone said quietly. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion now. Though the muzzle of her blaster looked about a mile in diameter, it was still her eyes he focused on. Those beautiful, gold ringed eyes which had been clouded by black, the same way her mind had been clouded by the skinsuit’s drugs.
“Shoot!” the High Sentinel commanded again.
K’s finger tightened on the trigger.
Boone’s throat was suddenly so dry he could hardly speak.
“I love you,” he whispered. “No matter what happens, remember that, K. I love you.”
K’s black-on-black eyes narrowed and an anguished cry broke from her lips. She spun around, squeezing the blaster’s trigger…
And shot.
Chapter Twenty-nine
K watched the High Sentinel fall with a look of surprise on his face and a smoking hole through the center of his chest. Then many hands were reaching out for her, to take her weapon, to trap and immobilize her.
“Leave me alone!” She twisted away from them even as she heard Hesler say,
“Careful there, giant! Even disarmed she’s dangerous and she only turned that blaster at the last nano-second. It was pointed right at you most of the time.”
“I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” Boone sounded irritated and concerned. “But in the end she did the right thing. Damn it, Hesler, let me get to her.”
“Better not. Let me talk to her first. Moving from Pure to Tainted is a big jump. Let’s get her out of here for a debriefing.”
Once again, K found herself surrounded but this time the other Paladins kept their hands to themselves.
“What’s going on? Where are you taking me?” She felt numb and not just because of the drugs her suit was shooting into her system. Had she really just shot the High Sentinel? Had she really just burned a hole right through the middle of his chest? It didn’t seem possible to K. Maybe this was just another vivid dream and she would wake up soon. Maybe…
“Out to our ship. We’re holding a deep orbit around Midas right now,” Hesler said.
“Who is ‘we?’ You’re the Tainted?” K had never expected to see any of them in person.
“That’s right,” Hesler said without hesitation. “We’re Paladins who got contaminated and refused to purge ourselves just because that old bastard said to.” He nodded down at the stiff, still smoking body of the High Sentinel. “We’ve cleared out most of this sector but reinforcements could be coming at any time. We need to get you out of here.”
They hustled her down the long hallway, passed fallen guards. One of them had a familiar face.
“Six,” K whispered as they rushed her by. The look of pain and confusion in his staring eyes proved what she had always suspected—he felt more than he should. Just like I do, she thought numbly. But Six’s pain was over now and her own was just beginning. She only had to catch Boone’s eyes for a moment to know that.
They put her in a separate ship than the one Boone took though he fought to stay with her. K heard Hesler talking again in a low voice about debriefing her and how she was going through a difficult transition. Then they were up and away, blasting off of the planet’s surface and leaving her old life behind—this time forever…
* * * * *
“I don’t like it.” Boone paced back and forth, his hands clenched behind his back. “I don’t like that they took her. I don’t like that she’s not even on our ship.”
“You heard what Hesler said,” Loki murmured. “Give her some time. She has to transition.”
“I helped her transition last time,” Boone growled. “She doesn’t need some bastard in a black suit to hold her hand.”
“Or maybe you’re afraid that’s not all he’s holding?” Loki raised an eyebrow significantly.
“Stop it, Loki,” Mom said sharply. “Boone doesn’t need your teasing right now.”
“She’ll be all right.” Rolf, who was leaning against the wall beside Loki’s pilot’s chair spoke up. “Hesler’s a good guy—lucky I had a favor to call in from him. If I hadn’t fixed his ship that time he was stranded you’d still be trying to figure out how to get to your girl.”
“Yes, I do appreciate that, Rolf.” Boone sighed heavily. It had been a damn lucky thing that the “people” Loki’s new touch partner knew happened to be a squad of Tainted who owed him a favor. One he was willing to call in on Boone’s behalf.
“What are you so worried about?” Loki asked. “Hesler helped you rescue K didn’t he?”
“Yes, but he still hasn’t given her back,” Boone pointed out. “I should never have left her again. Should never have let her be taken from me…”
“Well you don’t have to worry about what my dirty-minded touch partner here is implying,” Rolf said dryly. “As I understand it, some of the Tainted engage in regular sex but he’s one who keeps the suit on all the time. Controls the drive, you know?”
“I’m not worried about him raping her—K can take care of herself,” Boone snapped. “But what if he’s trying to, I don’t know, recruit her? After all—that’s what they do, isn’t it? They take in tainted Paladins? Ones who are slated to be purged?”
“K cares about you, Boone.” Mom put a reassuring hand on his arm. “She truly does. You have to trust that. Trust her to do the right thing—like she did when she shot that other guy instead of you.”
“Just barely,” Loki muttered. “I swear I was sure she was going to fry old Boone like a piece of bacon in a pan right up until the very last minute.”
Boone couldn’t take it anymore. He turned to go.
“Hey, where are you going?” Loki asked.
“I’ll be in my quarters. Let me know when she comes back,” he growled, not looking around. If she comes back.
He stalked out of the control area, trying not to wonder where K was and what she was doing at that very moment.
* * * * *
“That was good work you did back there,” Hesler greeted her as he walked into the small conference room located in the rear of the Tainted ship. It was larger than K would have expected and very well laid out—what she’d seen of it, anyway. They had hustled her in so quickly it was hard to see much more than a few snatched glances as she came in from the airlock.
“I didn’t mean to do it.” She looked down at her hands, still covered in the skinsuit’s black webbing. Her whole body was in turmoil—her head ached, her stomach was in knots and her emotions were out of control. But though the silver needles bit into her forearms again and again, she couldn’t seem to regain the coldness and distance she’d felt before.
“What did you mean to do?” Hesler asked quietly, taking the chair opposite hers. With the cowl of his suit completely open, K saw he had dark auburn hair and chiseled features. His nose looked like it might have been broken once or twice and improperly repaired. Not a handsome face, but a solid one. Not that K cared.
“I don’t know what I meant to do.” She shook her head. “I…I couldn’t think. The suit…it took…”
“It takes everything if you let it,” Hesler said. “But you don’t have to let it. Look, are you feeling right now?”
K looked up at him uncertainly. “Feeling?”
He reached across the small metal table between them and wiped at her cheek with his thumb. K jer
ked away from his touch automatically but Hesler didn’t seem to mind. He held up his thumb—it was wet.
“I’d say that’s all the answer I need.”
“I…” K put a hand to her cheek and found she was crying. “I don’t…”
“Look, this is a good thing,” Hesler said calmly. “You’ve broken your suit’s conditioning on your own. You probably broke it back when you made the decision to shoot the High Sentinel instead of your giant.”
“I am thinking more clearly now,” K admitted. “Or as clearly as I can with all these Purity-damned emotions.”
Hesler shrugged. “That comes with the territory. The main thing is, the suit can’t control you anymore which means that you can control it.”
K shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“The suit is a tool,” he explained patiently. “What the Purists use to control us. But it can be changed, reshaped to fit our own individual purposes.”
“What purposes?”
“It gives strength and stamina and nutrition—a cool head in battle. And as we both know, it has other…advantages as well.” Hesler raised an eyebrow. “For instance, it’s not always convenient to feel as you’re feeling now. To be honest, it Goddamn hurts a lot of the time. If you tune the suit right, you can avoid emotion while still retaining personal control of your thoughts. A lot of our people use it that way.”
“Your people?”
“The other Tainted. Others of us, of course, wear the suit for a different reason.”
“Such as?” K swiped at her cheeks, trying to take in what he was saying.
“Such as, let’s just say you’re not the only one with Erian DNA,” Hesler said grimly. “When it’s trained properly, the suit arrests the sexual cycle indefinitely.”
“Good.” K felt genuine relief. “So I could keep it on forever and never have to go through a cycle?”
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