Miriam's Quilt

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Miriam's Quilt Page 18

by Jennifer Beckstrand


  She unfurled the quilt top like a flag and let it float to her bed. The deep blues and emerald greens made her imagine that she was standing at the edge of a crystal lake, looking at leaves so radiantly green they almost hurt her eyes. To Miriam, green was a healing color. Hopefully Seth would feel the healing power of her gift.

  Next week she would put it on the frame and quilt it. For now, she let it rest on her bed. She would think of Seth every time she walked into the room.

  That was an uncommonly pleasant thought.

  Chapter 20

  Carrying a bucket in each hand, Seth came out of the stable as Miriam rode Daisy up the lane. His buckets must have been heavy. Miriam could see the veins and muscles of his forearms bulging with the strain. He wasn’t as bulky as Ephraim at the shoulders, but his entire body, even the way he moved, testified of Seth’s strength. He stood four or five inches taller than Ephraim and, therefore, towered over most everybody. Where Ephraim was of a thick, solid build, Seth stretched lanky and lang and probably didn’t have an ounce of fat on his entire body.

  Seth caught sight of her and burst into a grin. He put down his buckets and came to her. In earlier days, if she hadn’t been concentrating on avoiding him, she would have recognized how handsome he was with his thick, dark eyebrows and hair so black it glistened in the sunlight. When he smiled, he revealed a hint of a dimple that Miriam found delightful.

  “You are late today,” he said as he took the reins. “I don’t think it is safe to ride home in the dark.”

  Miriam led Daisy to the small trough next to the stable and then tied her to the post. “I will not stay long. But I really wanted to see the foals. It’s been more than two weeks.”

  Seth gave her a slight smile, put his hands into his pockets, and looked to the pasture. “I started to believe you had forgotten us.”

  “Forgotten? This is the only place I feel like myself.” She patted Daisy’s neck. “Besides work at the quilt shop, I have been quilting and canning and canning and quilting.” She held out her hands. “My fingers are permanently brownish-red.”

  Seth took her hands in his and studied her palms. His warm, calloused skin felt comfortably pleasant, like a favorite pair of garden gloves. “I hear you did spaghetti sauce and tomato juice.”

  “Two days straight. And then we put up corn and peaches. Clingstones, mind you. I’ve a good mind to chop down that tree myself.”

  “They have a gute flavor.”

  “Clingstones are stubborn, but I am not complaining. There is nothing better than a shelf full of bright peaches ready for winter. And while we slice and wash, we can talk the ears right off a man’s head.”

  She didn’t mind that he still had hold of her hands, but they couldn’t stand like that forever. She fell silent and slowly pulled from his grasp.

  With a sheepish twist of his lips, he cleared his throat and lowered his eyes. “Laura couldn’t be happier about her quilt. It’s packed at the top of her suitcase.”

  “You wouldn’t believe how quickly we finished it. I feared—” Miriam’s face grew warm. She’d almost said the wrong thing.

  “You were afraid no one would come to help?”

  When Miriam didn’t answer, Seth nodded vigorously. “Me too. The Lambrights aren’t the most favored family in the district.”

  “I didn’t mean that at all.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m past getting my feelings hurt.”

  “They could have just as easily stayed away because of Susie.”

  He searched her face. “Your family is simply going through a rough patch.” Then he cast his eyes downward. “The Lambrights are hopeless.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Miriam said, but she wasn’t quite sure how to contradict him. She regretted every superior thought she’d ever harbored about anybody.

  “Joshua and Jacob are mucking out the stable,” Seth said. “Will you say hello to them before you go? I think Joshua wants you for his girlfriend.”

  Miriam laughed. “I’m flattered. Joshua is a very handsome ten-year-old. Does he care that he would have to stand on a milking stool to put his arm around me?”

  Seth’s gaze riveted Miriam’s attention. “I’ve missed your laugh. I didn’t even want to go to work this week for fear you’d come while I was away and I’d miss you.”

  She knew she was blushing as she stifled a smile and went into the stable. She was grateful that the stable was significantly dimmer than the outside, since her face must surely be glowing bright red. Why did her heart skip a beat and the heat rise to her cheeks when he looked at her like that? She couldn’t make sense of it.

  “Miriam!” Both of Seth’s brothers charged and practically bowled her over where she stood.

  “Did you see the new stallion?” Joshua asked. “Seth bought him two days ago. He is pure black with a tiny white patch no bigger than my thumb on his front leg. And he runs so fast you almost can’t see him. We feed him the special feed that Seth got.”

  “He won a race,” said Jacob, vying for Miriam’s attention.

  “I was going to say that,” Joshua insisted.

  Miriam lifted her eyebrows and nodded in amazement. Joshua never ran out of words.

  “Maybe she’d like to see the horse instead of talk about him,” Seth said, interrupting Joshua’s discourse about the condition of the stallion’s teeth.

  “I’d love to.” She took the boys’ hands and let them lead her out of the stable.

  They walked to the pasture on the north end of Seth’s property where a majestic horse trotted around the perimeter of the fence. His black coat gleamed in the sun, and powerful muscles rippled underneath.

  Miriam put her hand over her mouth. “Oh my. He is the most beautiful horse I have ever seen.”

  Seth didn’t disguise his pride. “An investment, for sure, but Lord willing, he will be worth a hundred times his price.”

  The stallion stopped prancing and looked in their direction, as if he knew they were talking about him. Always prepared, Seth pulled an apple out of his pocket and sliced it into three pieces with his pocket-knife. He handed one to each of his brothers and Miriam.

  “Horses like apples the best in the world.” Joshua stretched his hand between two fence slats. “Jacob, don’t curl your fingers like that, or the horse will bite them off.”

  Jacob pinched his face in irritation. “I know as much as you do.”

  “Well, you were curling your fingers around the apple. It didn’t seem like you knew anything. Horses are very gentle and wouldn’t hurt a fly, but you have to know how to behave around them or they could step on you. They don’t want to hurt you, but they are so big and don’t know any better.”

  Seth put a finger to his lips. “Hush now, Joshua. More likely, he will come if we stay still.”

  Joshua and Jacob, with their hands still sticking through the fence, became like statues. Seth winked at Miriam, and she flashed a delighted smile back at him as she caught sight of that dimple.

  They watched as the stallion twitched his ears and regarded them with feigned disinterest. He nodded his head twice and took a cautious step toward them. Slowly at first and then with a faster gait, he came to the fence and sniffed both apple slices before gobbling them up. The boys giggled as the horse licked their hands.

  “Now you, Miriam,” Jacob said.

  Miriam stretched out her hand to the stallion, making sure that Joshua saw her perfectly horizontal fingers. When the horse took her offering, she rubbed his nose and cooed. “That’s a good baby,” she said, closing her eyes and nuzzling the horse with her cheek. “Good boy.” The stallion’s coarse hair tickled her skin, and Miriam felt his warm breath on the back of her hand.

  She stood savoring the sensations before opening her eyes. Jacob and Joshua leaned with their backs against the fence, staring at Seth. Seth stood with his hand pressed against the slat, studying Miriam with those gray eyes as deep as a wintertime lake.

  She wished he wouldn’t look at her like that. Ho
w could a girl keep her head on straight?

  The color drained from Seth’s face. He looked away, cleared his throat, and promptly knocked Joshua’s hat off.

  “Hey!” Joshua protested.

  Seth picked up the hat and tapped it back on Joshua’s head. “Just checking to see if you have any bald spots.”

  “We was about to feed the horses,” Joshua said. “Do you want to help, Miriam? Then we are going to brush them and bed them down for the night.”

  Seth patted Joshua’s shoulder. “Miriam can’t stay long. I don’t want her riding home in the dark.”

  “Seth Lambright. I would have words with you.”

  Startled, Miriam turned to see Reuben Shetler standing behind Seth with his hands on his hips and the shadow of a scowl on his face. Miriam tried to calm her racing heart. None of them had even heard his approach.

  Seth pressed his lips into a hard line and furrowed his brow. He and Reuben stood staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, but it could only have been a few seconds. Jacob sidled close to Miriam and put his hand in hers. She wrapped her fingers protectively around his hand.

  Seth pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers before glancing at his brothers and softening his expression. He nodded and managed a friendly smile at Reuben, which, considering Reuben’s hostile demeanor, was a miracle in itself. “Good to see you again, Reuben.”

  Seth moved forward, and Reuben, untrusting and unsure, took a quick step back. For a moment Miriam thought Seth would try a hug. Instead, he placed both hands on Reuben’s shoulders and gave him a firm pat. “Will you come with me while I run the water into the far pasture?”

  Miriam felt the sudden urge to clear her throat, as if her collar were too tight and she couldn’t quite catch her breath. Yost’s accusations, the ones that had seemed so outrageous last week, came back to her.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve never seen Seth and Mary Shetler together. Jonas’s dat won’t stand for it no more.”

  Seth put a brotherly arm around Reuben, who acted as if he were being embraced by a snake. Looking back at Miriam, Seth silently communicated with her as he walked away.

  “Keep an eye out for the boys. They don’t need this.”

  Miriam nodded with a sick feeling in her stomach.

  Seth walked to the edge of the small pasture, where the foals played with their mother. He propped his boot on the bottom fence rail and folded his arms. Reuben started in on him. Miriam couldn’t hear what he said, but she could hear his voice, loud and angry, and watch as he pointed an accusing finger at Seth and displayed an unattractive scowl.

  Jacob, with eyes full of fear, slid his arms around Miriam and held on tightly. “Cum,” Miriam said, pretending not to hear the tirade going on a hundred yards away, “Show me how you feed the horses.”

  Neither boy moved.

  “He looks very mad,” Joshua said, not turning his eyes from the spot where Seth stood calmly and humbly while Reuben yelled at him.

  “Do you think he will hurt Seth?” Jacob asked in a muffled voice, his face hidden beneath the folds of Miriam’s apron.

  With shaking hands, Miriam pulled Jacob away from her and looked him in the eyes. “Reuben is cross about something, but he would never hurt Seth.”

  “Jonas Shetler came yesterday with Yost Bontrager and an Englischer,” Joshua said, as if he had forgotten that Yost was Miriam’s brother.

  Jacob released his hold on Miriam and turned to his brother. “Don’t tell that. Seth said no telling, like water under a bridge.”

  Joshua lifted his chin stubbornly. “I can tell Miriam.”

  Jacob sighed and reattached himself to Miriam’s waist. “Seth said don’t tell.”

  Joshua ignored his brother. “Jonas screamed at him and told Seth to keep away from his mamm. Then he slapped the bucket out of Seth’s hand and pushed him against the wall.”

  Miriam felt as if someone had sucked all the air out of the pasture. The emptiness in her lungs almost choked her. “Yost…and…Jonas— they pushed him?”

  “Only Jonas pushed. Jacob cried, and they left in a hurry.”

  “You cried too,” Jacob protested.

  At that moment, Miriam felt so ashamed of her brother, she thought she might fall to her knees and weep. How could she ever in a million years make things better?

  The yelling at the other end of the pasture buzzed in Miriam’s head like a wasp. She resisted the urge to clap her hands over her ears. The boys must not know how upset she was.

  Jesus said he who is angry with his brother without a cause is in danger of the judgment. What could justify such rage?

  Miriam knew what Yost’s answer would be. But even with doubt clinging to her like a cocklebur, she couldn’t bring herself to believe that Seth was such a man. Such wickedness was not in his nature.

  The yelling subsided briefly. Miriam risked a look in Seth’s direction. He spoke now with his eyes fixed on Reuben’s face. She didn’t hear what he said, but his calm tone should have pacified even the most determined enemy. Yet as soon as Seth paused, Reuben attacked again, unmoved by whatever Seth had said.

  The alarm written on the brothers’ faces mirrored Miriam’s own turmoil, but it also spurred her into action. Taking each of their hands, she said, “Walk with me to the stable.”

  Such a journey would take them closer to Seth and Reuben, but it couldn’t be helped. The stable would provide a sound barrier and a haven where Joshua and Jacob would not have to witness what transpired between Seth and Reuben. As they passed close to the two men, Reuben watched them suspiciously and lowered his voice.

  Miriam pulled the boys through the squeaky door. All three stood in the cool dampness of the stable and caught their breath.

  “I think we should pray,” Miriam said.

  Breathing heavily, Joshua nodded.

  All three knelt on the ground to pray silently. When Miriam got to her knees, she realized how many things she had to pray for. She asked that Reuben’s heart be softened, that Seth could forgive Yost, that she could forgive Yost, and that all would be right in the world again, Lord willing.

  She heard the door squeak and sensed the space brighten as the orange afternoon sun flooded the stable. She opened her eyes to see Seth silhouetted in the doorway, studying her quietly.

  The boys leaped up and raced to their brother. He squeezed them tightly then patted each of their heads. “Denki for taking good care of Miriam.”

  Seth held out his hand and pulled Miriam to her feet. Pain saturated his face, and his eyes were bits of moonlight in the dead of winter. “I wish you had not been here. You should not have been forced to see that.”

  She shook her head. “I am not upset.” She spoke in a whisper, afraid her voice would give her away if she talked any louder.

  He rubbed a thumb against her cheek. “Can you forget it happened or pretend it was a bad dream?”

  Miriam couldn’t help herself. “Why… What did he want?”

  A line appeared between Seth’s eyebrows. “Reuben is the best of men. But there are things he refuses to understand—things he chooses to ignore that I will not let him ignore. I make him very angry because of it. But I would never do anything to hurt him or his family. I wish he could understand. I would not for the world have you worry.”

  Miriam swallowed three times but the lump would not vacate her throat. “What happened with Yost yesterday?”

  Seth’s eyes grew wide and then narrowed as they darted from Jacob to Joshua. The little boys grew so quiet, it was if they weren’t breathing. Seth turned his back on Miriam and rested a hand against the wall. “Yost did nothing.”

  Miriam knew she shouldn’t get angry, but her embarrassment, her shame at her own brother’s actions overwhelmed her.

  “He spreads ugly gossip about you, he tramples through your fields, he harasses you and your family.” She felt she might burst with indignation. “That doesn’t sound like ‘nothing’ to me.”

  “It is nothin
g, Miriam. Yost is going through a hard time right now. I never should have suggested group therapy. I offended him. He is angry and needs someone to take his anger out on. I am fine. You have enough pain in your life without my adding to it.”

  Miriam growled and stomped her foot. “You? You’re adding to my pain? What about Yost? Do you think he bears any responsibility for this?”

  Seth came close and took her face in his hands. “Please, Miriam, please. I cannot bear to see you so unhappy.”

  “Unhappy?” She pulled from him and swiped a hand across her eyes. “I am drowning in it.”

  Seth was the only person who understood her, who listened and didn’t judge. She knew she could tell him anything in her heart and he would still like her. Was Yost purposefully trying to alienate every friend she had?

  Who would want to be friends with Miriam Bontrager? If her sister wasn’t embarrassing the family, her brother was. Ephraim was right to stay as far away from her as possible. It was only a matter of time before Seth came to the same conclusion.

  The last time she came to Seth’s ranch, she had cried like a baby on his shoulder. This time, she determined to fall apart in the privacy of her own home.

  She couldn’t utter one word without bursting into tears, so she spun on her heels and marched out the far door. She jumped onto Daisy and trotted her down the lane.

  “Miriam, come back,” she heard Seth call.

  Miriam was convinced that she would never show her face at Seth’s again.

  She wouldn’t be coming back.

  Chapter 21

  “Good morning!” Martha called.

  There were already three tourists waiting outside Martha’s quilt shop the next morning when Miriam and Martha arrived. Martha greeted the couple and their teenage son, and before she’d even gotten the door unlocked, she found out they were from California and were here visiting relatives. Martha was a good merchant. She took a keen interest in every one of her customers.

  The shoppers filed through the door. Miriam followed and quickly hopped onto the ladder to light the propane lamps hanging about the store. Miriam found the hiss of the lanterns a comforting, pleasant sound, a constant in every Amish home like the Bible, the Ausbund, and the family.

 

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