by Diana Palmer
have forgotten himself so completely?
With a muffled curse, he got to his feet and fastened his shirt, straining to breathe normally. Of all the harebrained, stupid things he'd
ever done...!
Jane was feeling equally addled. After that last sarcastic
remark he'd made, he was going to be lucky if she ever spoke to him again! She picked up her book and opened it in her lap, refusing to even look
at him. She was embarrassed, nervous and defensive because she'd been so vulnerable.
He finished snapping his shirt and tucked it back into his slacks. His hands were faintly unsteady, which made him furious. She got to him
without even trying. He seemed to have no control whatsoever once he touched her. That had never happened with Marie, even in the early
days of their romance. And she just sat there, so cool that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, looking unaffected when he could barely breathe.
That alone made him furious.
"Nothing to say?" he asked, glancing at her with steely gray eyes. "Would you like to repeat that bit about not finding the attractive?" he
mocked.
She wouldn't look up. Her face reddened a little more, but otherwise, no expression showed in it. She didn't say a word.
He moved to the door. "I'll lock this behind the."
She nodded, but he wasn't looking.
He went out without another comment. His heart was still racing and he wasn't sure that his knees wouldn't buckle on the way to his car.
Whatever Jane did to him, he hated it. He only wished he knew how to handle it. He had nothing to give her. It wasn't fair to lead her on
when he felt that way. If she could be led on, that is. She'd been responsive enough until the last, when she'd seemed shocked and outraged. But
she hadn't said a word. Not a word. He wondered what was going on in her mind.
He cursed as he fumbled the key into the ignition of his car and started it. Well, it didn't really matter what she thought, because that
wasn't going to happen again. He'd have a good time with Micki and forget that Jane even existed.
Chapter 6
Only it didn't quite work out that way. Micki was a delightful companion, but when Todd held her while they were dancing, he felt nothing
beyond a comfortable pleasure. The wild excitement that Jane engendered just by looking at him with her big blue eyes was totally missing.
' 'It was nice of you to invite the,'' Micki said with a smile. "But won't Jane mind?"
He scowled. "Jane is my employer," he said stiffly.
"Oh. Sorry. It was just that the way she looked..."
He pounced on that at once. "The way she looked...?" he prompted, and tried not to appear as interested as he was in her answer.
She laughed apologetically. "I thought she was in love with you," she explained.
His face was shot through with color. He stopped dancing. "That's absurd," he said slowly.
"Not really. You've obviously been kind to her," Micki continued, "and she was badly hurt in the wreck, wasn't she?
I suppose it's inevitable that a woman will feel something for a man who helps her when she's in trouble. Mr. Kemble her attorney, said that
you've literally pulled her out of bankruptcy in a few short weeks and helped her get the ranch back on its feet."
He looked troubled. "Perhaps. The ranch had plenty of potential. It just needed a few modifications."
"Which you've accomplished. Jane is lovely, isn't she? Our advertising people are ecstatic about building a television campaign around her
because she's so photogenic."
"She's easy enough on the eyes," he said noncommittally. "And surprisingly modest about it. I've known of her for years, of course, since I
grew up in Jacobsville. I'd heard that Dr. Coltrain gave up when you came to the Parker place. He's been going around with Jane for a long
time. He's not a man I'd find easy to think of romantically, not with his temper, but Jane was fiery enough to stand up to him. Every-one
thought they'd make a match of it eventually."
His face tautened. "Did they? Well, he only comes out to the place once in a while to check on her." Micki hid a smile. "Oh, I see."
His broad shoulders shifted. "I'm certain that she could have gotten married long before this if she'd wanted to."
"I don't know. Most men seem to think a woman as lovely as Jane has more admirers than she can sort out, and a lot of pretty women don't
even get asked out because of that perception. Actually I don't remember Jane dating anyone seriously. Except Dr. Coltrain, of course."
He was getting tired of hearing about Coltrain. "At her age, she's bound to have had a serious love affair."
"Do you think so?" Micki asked with studied carelessness. "If she has, it's been very discreet. Her reputation is impeccable."
He swung her around to the music. "What do you think of the band?" he asked with a pleasant smile.
She chuckled to herself. "It's nice, isn't it? I do enjoy a
good two-step."
Todd was out of sorts by the time he drove Micki home, leaving her at the door with a chaste kiss before he sped back toward the ranch. It
had been a pleasant evening, but he hadn't been able to get Jane's hungry kisses out of his mind, Then there was Micki's careless comment
that she thought Jane was in love with him. That had set his mind spinning so that he took Micki back long before he normally would have.
When he drove away from her apartment house, it was barely eleven o'clock, and he was damned if he was going home that early. He
stopped by a small bar out in the country and had a couple of beers before he drove the rest of the way out. By then it was almost one, and a more
respectable hour for a man who'd enjoyed himself to be getting in.
He'd planned to go straight to the little house where he and Cherry were staying, but the lights were still on in the ranch house and he
didn't see Tim's car out by the garage.
Frowning, and a little concerned, he went up to the front door and tried it. It was unlocked. Really worried now, he opened it and went in,
closing it with a quiet snap and men working his way cautiously past the empty living room and study, down to the bedrooms.
There was light under only one door. He opened it and Jane gaped at him. She was sitting up in bed reading, wearing a low-cut blue satin
gown with spaghetti straps. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and the firm, silky slopes of her breasts were bare almost to the nipples in
her relaxed pose.
Lamplight became her, he thought helplessly. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. His whole body clenched at the thought
of what lay under that silky fabric.
"Why the hell is the front door unlocked?" he asked shortly.
"It isn't," she faltered. "I locked it and left the lights on in case Meg needed to come in..."
"It wasn't locked. I walked right in. And they haven't come back. Did you check the answering machine?"
She frowned. "No. I took a couple of aspirin because my back was hurting, and then I lay down," she began.
He averted his eyes from her body. "I'll check for any messages." He went out, grateful for something besides the sight of her to occupy his
mind. He went to the telephone in the living room and pressed the Play button on the answering machine. Sure enough, Tim had phoned to say
that he and Meg would be spending the night with their daughter so that they could go to church with her the next morning. A distant relative
was visiting and they wanted to get reacquainted.
He listened dimly as the machine reset itself and beeped. His heart was beating furiously in his chest. Two beers didn't usually affect him, but
he hadn't eaten in a while and his head was reeling with the sight of Jane in that gown and what Micki
had said about Jane being in love with
him. What if he went into her bedroom and slid that silky gown off her breasts? Would she welcome him? If she loved him...
He muttered a curse and ran a hand through his damp hair. He should get out, right now, before he did something really stupid.
He got as far as the front door. He couldn't force himself to go through it. After a brief struggle with his conscience, he gave in to the
pulsating need that was making him ache from head to toe. She could always say no, he told himself. But he knew that she wouldn't.
Couldn't. He put on the locks, turned out the outside light and then the living room and study lights.
Jane had put down her book. When he walked back into her bedroom, she was sitting just where he'd left her, looking more vulnerable than
ever.
"Did they...call?" she asked, her voice as choked as her
body. She, too, was remembering the heated lovemaking of earlier in the evening and hungry for more of it. From the look on his hard face,
so was he. She loved him so much that all thoughts of self-preservation had gone right out of her head in the hours since he'd left for his date.
She had no pride left. Loneliness and love had eaten it away.
"They won't be home until morning," he said stiffly.
She looked at him with wide, helpless eyes, a little frightened and a little hungry. Everything she felt lay open to his searching eyes.
With a smile that was part self-contempt and part helpless need, he slowly closed and locked the bedroom door. He held her eyes while his hand
went to snap off the main switch (hat controlled the bedside lamps.
The room went dark. She sat, breathing unsteadily, waiting. She saw the outline of him, big and threatening, as he Dame around the bed
and slowly sat down beside her. Then she felt his lean, strong hands, warm on her arms as he slid (he straps down and let the gown drop to her
waist.
She felt herself shiver. Her bream caught. She felt the air on her body and the need for him was suddenly the most important thing in her
life. She arched back with a faint moan, imploring, coaxing.
"I should be shot," he breathed. And then his warm mouth was on her soft, bare breasts, his hands gentle on her body as he eased her down
on the bed.
She'd never known a man, but her responses were so acutely hungry that Todd didn't realize it at first. Her headlong acceptance of his deep
kisses, of the caresses that grew more intimate as he eased her out of the gown and the faint briefs under it, made him too reckless to notice her
shy hands on his chest.
She smelled of flowers and her body was the sweetest kind of warm silk under his mouth. He smoothed his lips over her
from head to toe, enjoying her in a silence that trembled with sensation and sensuality.
When he was near the end of his patience, he divested himself of his clothing and drew her gently against the length of him. She caught her
breath and tried to pull away, but his mouth on hers stilled the feeble protest.
"Are you using something?" he asked feverishly against her mouth.
"Wh...what?" she managed shakily.
"Are you on the Pill?" he persisted.
"N-no."
He groaned and reached down for his billfold. Thank God he was prepared. He'd never felt the blind need she kindled in his tall, fit body.
His question had almost brought Jane back to sanity as she realized the enormity of what she was doing, but his mouth found hers again,
gently, while he did what was necessary. And the tender, passionate kisses and caresses weakened her so that all she felt was an aching
emptiness that cried out to be filled.
"I'll be careful, baby," he whispered as he drew her to him, on his side, so that he wouldn't jar or injure her back. His long leg slid between
hers and his hands positioned her gently so that he could ease into intimacy with her. "Easy, now."
Her nails bit into his shoulders. She wanted him, but it stung. She buried her mouth against his collarbone and whimpered, but even
then she didn't fight.
He wasn't so far gone that he didn't realize what was wrong. He stilled, breathing roughly, his hands like steel clamps on her slender
hips. "Jane...?" he whispered, shocked.
She was struggling to breathe. She moaned.
His powerful body shivered with the effort to hold back, even for a space of seconds. "God, baby, I didn't know...!"
He groaned harshly. "I have to! Forgive the, I can't stop! I can't!"
He surged against her, blind with a need as old as time, as unstoppable as an avalanche.
There was a fierce flash of pain. She cried out. He heard her in the back of his mind, and hated himself for what was happening, but he was
totally at the mercy of the white-hot need in his loins. Tormented seconds later, the painful tension in his body snapped and blinding, furious
pleasure lifted him to heights he'd never known in his life. Then, he fell again to cold reality and felt the guilt and anguish of the trembling body
containing his.
He kissed away the tears, his hands as gentle now as they had been demanding only minutes before. "Forgive the," he whispered piteously.
"Oh, Lord, I'm sorry! It was too late by the time I realized."
She lay her cheek against his cool, damp chest and closed her wet eyes. It had been painful and uncomfortable, and now her back was hurting
again.
"You're twenty-five years old," he groaned, smoothing her hair. "What were you doing, saving it for marriage?"
"That isn't funny." She choked.
He drew in a sharp breath. "I suppose you were. You're so damned traditional."
She bit her lower lip. "Will you leave, please?"
He kissed her closed eyes. "No. Not until I give you what I had."
"I won't let you do that again!" she said hotly, hitting at him. "It hurt!"
His lips brushed against hers. He drew her hand to his mouth and kissed it, too. "The first time usually does, or so I'm told," he said
gently. "But I can give you tenderness now."
"I don't want...!"
His mouth covered hers softly, slowly. He coaxed it to
open to the lazy thrust of his tongue. His hands slid over her tense body, soothing her even as they began to incite her to passion. She didn't
understand how it could happen. He'd hurt her. But she was moving closer to him. Her arms were lifting to enclose him. Her breasts were
swelling under his hands and then his mouth, and she felt a tension building inside her that made her legs start to tremble.
He was gentle. He lay on his back and smoothed her body completely over him, deftly joining their bodies while he whispered soft, tender
commands at her ear. His steely hands on her hips pulled and pushed and shifted her, so that she felt the fullness of him inside her building into
an ache that blinded her with its promise.
She sobbed helplessly, clinging to him. "Oh...no," she whispered breathlessly as she felt her senses begin to climb some unbelievable
peak.
"Don't fight it," he whispered at her temple. His voice was soft, but his breathing was quick and sharp, like the tug of his hard fingers and
the thrust of his hips.
She whimpered as the pleasure caught her unaware and she stiffened on his body.
"Yes, that's it," he whispered feverishly. "That's it! Give in to the. Give in, Jane, give in! Let it happen!"
She heard her voice rising in sharp little cries as he increased the rhythm. Then, all at once, she went over an edge she hadn't expected, into
realms of hot, black pleasure that took control of her body away from her brain and made her oblivious to everything except the hard heat of
him filling her.
&
nbsp; She pushed down as hard as she could and shuddered endlessly, frozen in pleasure, deaf and blind to the joyous laughter of the man holding
her. Only when she was completely satisfied did he allow himself the exquisite pleasure of release.
He smoothed her long, damp hair over her spine and lay
dreaming of the ecstasy he'd shared with her for a long time,
until her faint weeping ceased and she lay still, trembling a
little, on his spent body.
Her breasts were as soft as down. He shifted a little, so that he could feel them rubbing against his chest. His hands slid down to her hips,
where they were still joined, and he pressed her closer into him;
She gasped. The touch of him was unbearably pleasurable, even now.
He mistook the gasp. "It's all right," he said gently. "You were protected, both times. I don't take that sort of risk, ever."
She was too embarrassed to know what to say. Her fingers clenched against him and she lay still, uncertain and hesitant in the aftermath.
He stretched stiffly and laughed. "But it was a near thing, I'll tell you that," he confessed. "Is your back all right?"
She bit her lip. "Yes."
He eased her onto her side and pulled away. Her teeth went deeper into her lip as reality fell on her like a cold brick.
He felt on the floor for her gown and briefs and laid them on her breasts. He bent and kissed her tenderly. "You'd better get your things back
on," he whispered. "It's chilly."
She fumbled into them, listening to the rustle of fabric as he dressed by the side of the bed. She felt tears sting her eyes and hated herself
for the one lapse of a lifetime. She hadn't even had the presence of mind to protect herself. Thank God he'd thought of it. And now there was
the future to think of. How could she ever face him again, after this? He'd know how she felt about him. But whatever he felt was well
concealed. He hadn't said a word while he was making love to her, except for soft commands and endearments. But there hadn't been one
confession of love.
While she was worrying, he tacked her under the sheet and pushed her hair away from her face. "Sleep well," he
said, trying not to betray how awkward he felt. Her cheek was wet. Did she hate him? Was she sorry? She'd tried to stop him, but he
