by B. J Daniels
Nikki told herself that her reaction to Cull was normal. She hadn’t met anyone like him and was now thrown together with him in a household where she had few to no allies. What worried her was that the man seemed able to see into her soul. That made him more than a little dangerous. Not to mention he already suspected that her motives for being here had to do with more than just the book. What was he going do when he found out that Nate Corwin was her father?
As she entered the pool house, she walked directly to her bedroom. She would have a shower before dinner, but right now, she just wanted to lie down for a while.
At a sound behind her, she turned to look back into the living room. Had someone been there? A movement near the door caught her eye. She stared as a single sheet of paper slid under the door and was caught by the wind from the window. The paper whirled up off the floor.
Hurriedly stepping to it, Nikki chased the sheet of paper down until she could catch it, then rushed to look out to see who had shoved it under her door.
She saw no one. Wind shook the nearby trees, sending dust and dirt into the air. She cupped a hand over her eyes as she looked in the direction of the house. The curtain moved on the second-floor window of the nursery and then fell silent.
With a shiver, she turned back inside, closing and locking the door behind her before she looked at what she held in her hand.
With a start she saw what appeared to be a page torn from a diary.
Chapter Fourteen
NIKKI LEANED AGAINST the pool house door, her heart pounding as she looked at the sheet of paper in her hand. It appeared to have been torn from a diary or journal, but there were no dates on the page. She began to read it as she walked over to the window, closed it and dropped into a chair.
I heard the screaming last night. Travers said it was just the wind, but I’ve never heard wind like that ever.
I got up and went up to check the children. I hate having them on a separate floor even knowing that the nanny is close by. But Travers insisted that we move to the lower floor master bedroom as soon as it was finished. He says I need my rest. I feel like all I do it rest. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy.
In the nursery, the twins looked like sleeping angels. I call them the twins because their names seem too large for such small babies. They scare me they are so small, so fragile.
Just looking at them makes me cry. I feel such anguish, such guilt. When I found out I was pregnant with them, I was upset. I didn’t want them. Still don’t feel a connection to them. I want to love them, but they are so needy, so demanding. Even when I help Patty with them, I don’t feel like I’m their mother. I can tell that she knows, that she’s judging me and finding me wanting. I asked Travers to fire her and let me take care of them, but he refused. I’m sure Patty heard us arguing about it.
As I started to leave the twins’ room, I saw the light in the stables. I thought about waking Travers, but I have awakened him too many times terrified only to be told there is nothing out in the darkness. Nothing that wants to hurt me, let alone destroy me. So why do I feel this way?
I know I shouldn’t go out there alone, but I won’t be able to sleep until I know that the horses are all right. That there is nothing out there to fear. Maybe it is only Nate working late. He is such a kind, caring man. I can talk to him. He seems to understand. He doesn’t judge me. He lets me cry without looking at me as if I’m crazy. I’ll go for a swim after I check the stables. That seems to help me sleep.
On the back, the text continued.
The light was on again tonight. I am trying to ignore it. Just as I am trying to sleep after my swim. But I’m restless. I know I should stay in the house and not go out there. But I need to see Nate. He is the only—
The words ended abruptly. Nikki turned the page over, forgetting that it was only one diary page. So where was the rest? Her heart was in her throat at the mention of her father. Was this how it had started? Marianne afraid at night and going out to the barn to talk to Nate. He is such a kind, caring man. Her father. What had this kind, caring man done to help Marianne McGraw?
She stared at the paper. Who had left this and why? Had they wanted her to believe that her father and Marianne had been lovers? Had the two of them made a plan to get rid of the twins—and have enough money to run away?
More to the point, why had she never heard that Marianne kept a diary? Who had known about it? Not the FBI or sheriff, or Nikki would have found the information during her research. The diary would also have been mentioned in the court transcripts—even if the judge had excluded it.
And where was the rest of it? Clearly someone on this ranch had the diary.
But why hadn’t they turned it over to the FBI at the time of the kidnapping? Because it incriminated Marianne? Or incriminated the person who now had it in their possession?
They wanted her to believe Marianne and Nate had been lovers, had been the kidnappers. But in their attempt to convince her, they’d now made her aware of the diary.
Instead of convincing her, they’d only managed to make her more convinced her father was innocent on all counts.
So who had put it under her door?
* * *
NIKKI FOUND CULL in the pasture inspecting one of the horses’ hooves.
“Your mother kept a diary?” Nikki demanded.
He looked up in surprise. “I beg your pardon?”
“Why is it that this is the first time I’ve heard that your mother kept a diary?”
Cull rose slowly to his feet, stretching out his long legs and then his back, before he said, “Because I didn’t know she did—if she did.”
Cull and his mother had been close, but it was clear he hadn’t known. He looked as surprised as she’d been. “Well, someone knew she did,” she said, waving the page she held in her hand.
He caught her wrist with warm strong fingers and slowly pried her fingers open to take the sheet from her.
“Is that your mother’s handwriting?” she asked, half afraid he would say it wasn’t and that someone was playing an elaborate joke on her.
“It looks like her handwriting.” Stepping out of the horse’s shadow, he held the page up to the waning sunlight. “Where did you get this?” he demanded after reading it.
“Someone slipped it under my door.”
He looked angry as if he wanted to crush it in his big hand, but she snatched it from him before he could. “Whoever gave you that wants you to think my mother had an affair with the horse trainer.”
“If true, then why not produce the entire diary?” She shook her head. “Whoever put this under my door wants me to believe that. But if this is the most incriminating part, it doesn’t prove your mother had an affair.” Nikki prayed she was right. If her father hadn’t fallen in love with Marianne, then he had no motive for being involved in the kidnapping.
Cull pulled off his Stetson and raked his fingers through his thick dark hair. “I can’t imagine who would have known about the diary.”
“And kept it from the FBI and sheriff all these years.”
He nodded, frowning.
“You must have seen her with Nate,” she said quietly, hating that she couldn’t let the subject go.
“No more than I saw her with anyone else. Nate was a nice guy. He gave me a pocket knife and taught me how to whittle so I didn’t cut myself.”
“You don’t think he was involved in the kidnapping.”
Cull looked away for a moment before he shrugged. “How well do we really know another person?” His gaze locked with hers just long enough for her to wonder if he knew the truth about her.
* * *
HIS MOTHER HAD kept a diary. Cull hated to think what might be in the rest of it. Something even more incriminating in the rest? If so, then why did whoever had it wait so long to share even this
much of it?
Nikki didn’t think whatever was in there would be more incriminating. He hoped she was right. For years he’d believed in his mother’s innocence. The last thing he wanted was to know that he’d been wrong.
But who in this house had it?
There were times he’d certainly wanted to be anyone but a McGraw. All the media attention had been horrible over the years, not to mention the suspicion that had fallen on every member of the household.
Nikki seemed surprised when he showed up at the pool house door, insisting that she come to dinner that night. “Wouldn’t it be better if it was just family?”
“Probably, but Patricia invited my father’s attorney and friend Blake. I’m sure she thinks they can convince him what a mistake it is having you here.”
“I would think everyone would be happy if I was gone, you included,” she said.
He met her gaze. “Don’t presume to know how I feel.”
She looked at him as if surprised by that. “So you don’t want to get rid of me?”
“Maybe I just want to see an end to this. My father promised that if nothing comes of your...book, then he will quit searching for the twins.”
So that was it. “Is there a reason the attorney and former ranch manager wouldn’t want the truth about the kidnapping to come out?” she asked, recalling what he said about Patricia using them at dinner tonight.
“They’re both protective of my father—and Patty, for that matter. Blake knows my father will always take care of him because of the years he put in here. As for the family attorney, Jim Waters is pretty happy the way things are now with my father continuing to pay him to look into claims by those believing they either know something about the kidnapping or are one of the twins. If Jim didn’t have a gambling problem, he’d be quite wealthy by now.”
“So if I find out what really happened to the twins, it will put Waters out of business?”
Cull smiled. “Not completely, but it would hurt because he would have to go back to just being the family lawyer. We should get on up to the house. You’re sure you’re up to this?”
She was sore from her horseback ride and it was clear that he knew it. “I’m fine.”
He smiled. “Yes, you are.”
Everyone had already gathered outside the dining room when she and Cull came in from outside.
Travers McGraw saw her from his wheelchair and turned toward her, extending his hand. She took it in both of hers. “The wheelchair was doctor’s orders. He wants me to rest, but I assure you I’m fine. Better than ever.”
He did look better, she admitted. “I’m so glad. I was worried.”
“No need. I’m just glad you’re still here. Are you making progress?”
Before she could answer, Patricia interrupted to say that dinner was served. They filed into the dining room, Travers insisting they all go ahead of him. All Nikki could think about was the last time they were all in here.
A hush fell over the group after they were all seated at their places. Patricia stood and clinked her butter knife against her empty wineglass. “I just want to say how happy I am to have my husband home.” She beamed down the table at him. “I’m glad you are all here to celebrate.” Her gaze lit on Nikki, but quickly moved to attorney Jim Waters. She gave him a meaningful look before she sat down and Frieda began to pour the wine.
Nikki noticed that everyone but Travers was subdued. She could feel the tension. This was not a welcome-home celebration. It was exactly what Cull had suspected—a bushwhacking. Patricia wanted the lawyer and former ranch manager to talk Travers into forgetting about the kidnapping book.
She noticed that even Kitten wasn’t her usual self. She fidgeted until the first course was brought out and then barely touched her food.
It wasn’t until right before dessert that Jim Waters cleared his voice and said, “Travers, we’re all glad you’re all right. But I think we need to talk about the future.”
Travers cut him off at once. “If this is about the book Nikki is researching here, please save your breath, Jim. I hope my heart attack will only make her that much more determined to find out the truth about that night.”
Nikki smiled at him.
“I think you should hear them out,” Patricia said, and smiled sweetly.
“We know what this means to you,” Waters continued. “But at what cost? You have three sons, a wife and a stepdaughter to think about. If you were to—”
“I’m sorry, Jim, but I’ve made myself perfectly clear on this,” Travers said, putting down his fork. “I won’t hear any more about this subject from any of you.” He looked pointedly at his wife.
“Then you need to know who this woman really is,” Waters said, getting to his feet to point an accusing finger at Nikki.
She felt her heart drop as she saw the satisfaction in his gaze. He knew and now he was about to destroy her credibility with Travers and there was nothing she could do about it.
“She isn’t here just to write a book about the kidnapping. She’s—”
“We already know,” Cull said, cutting Waters off.
“You don’t know.” Jim Waters looked furious that he’d been interrupted. “Nate Corwin—”
“Was her father,” Cull said, finishing his sentence.
“What?” Patricia demanded, and looked to her husband as if this was the first time she was hearing about it. No one at the table bought her act.
All the air rushed out of the attorney in a gush as he looked at Travers for confirmation. He’d been so sure he was about to drop a bombshell.
Nikki couldn’t breathe. Her gaze was on Cull. How long had he known? She looked toward Travers. Did he know?
“Your father was Nate Corwin, the man who...?” Patricia acted as if it was so horrible she couldn’t even finish.
Travers smiled at Nikki and reached over to pat her hand. “Cull told me everything.”
“Well, it would have been nice if someone had bothered to tell me,” Patricia said, her face flushed with anger. This hadn’t gone at all as she’d planned. “So this was her plan from the beginning. She’s writing a book that will make her father look innocent.”
Cull didn’t bother to respond to her accusation. “Nikki didn’t know Nate was her father until recently,” he said, still without looking at her. “I’m sure it’s one reason she became interested in the case. But not the only reason.”
She stared at him, speechless. How did he know that? Her grandfather. He’d talked to her grandfather, which meant he’d been investigating her. The irony of it didn’t escape her. He’d warned that he would be digging into her life, but she’d thought it was an empty threat.
“Still you have to question her motives,” Jim Waters said as he started to sit back down.
“Actually, it’s your motives I’m more concerned about, Jim.” Travers pushed his wheelchair away from the table. “Why don’t we talk about that in my office?”
The attorney had just sat. Now he pushed back up and, looking like a hangdog, followed Travers out of the dining room.
“Why is it that I’m not allowed to mention anything distasteful and he gets to say things like that?” Kitten demanded, getting to her feet and leaving.
“I can’t believe you and your father kept this from me,” Patricia said to Cull as he tossed down his napkin and turned to Nikki.
“I would imagine you’ll have to take that up with my father, Patty. You usually do,” he said as he reached for Nikki’s hand. “There’s something I need to show you in the horse barn.”
She stood on rubbery legs. His large hand was warm as it wrapped around hers. She felt that electric thrill at his touch even as she let him lead her out of the dining room. He was angry with her—she could feel it in the no-nonsense way he held her hand all the way to the back door.
<
br /> “Cull, let me explain,” she said as he opened the back door and waited for her to walk through it.
“Not here,” was all he said in a low gruff voice.
She swallowed back whatever explanation she’d been about to give and went out the door. She could feel him behind her, hear his boots on the stone path, could almost feel the heat of his anger against her back.
* * *
CULL RUED THE day that Patricia had entered their lives for a second time. Their father had remained married to their mother even though she no longer seemed to know him—or her children. Then sixteen years ago, Patty had shown up at the ranch, a baby in her arms and no doubt a sad story to go with it.
Travers McGraw had not just taken her in, he’d divorced his wife and married her. She’d never been a mother to any of them, except Kitten. Admittedly, Cull and his brothers hadn’t made it easy for her. He’d resented her intrusion into their lives—and still did.
He reached the barn and turned to find Nikki had followed him as far as the door. She stood silhouetted against it. In the dim light, he couldn’t make out her expression, but something about the way she stood made him want to pull her into his arms and hold her.
“I know you’re angry,” she said quietly.
“Not at you. I knew Patricia had something planned at dinner. All my warnings about not upsetting Dad...” He shook his head.
“How long have you known about my father?” she asked.
“Did you really think I wouldn’t check up on you? I made a few calls that first day when I went back into town to get your car.”
She took a step toward him. “You talked to my grandfather.”
He nodded.
“Why didn’t you out me right away?”
Why hadn’t he? He’d told his father, who’d taken the news even better than Cull had. “Then she is motivated to solve this even more, isn’t she,” his father had said. “Don’t mention to her that you know. We’ll keep it as our little secret for the time being.”
“My father asked me not to say anything, but I wouldn’t have anyway.” He took a step toward her. “If my father had been Nate Corwin, I would try to clear his name, too. It’s funny,” he said, closing the distance between them. “You seemed...familiar the first time I saw you. There was just something about you. Now I realize what it is. You remind me of your father.” He saw that his words pleased her.
