As a trial, Sadie went to stay with Gwen Taylor for an afternoon and when she went to meet her, Sally was pleased to see her running out, smiling happily. ‘Would you like to go again?’ she asked.
‘Nursery’s best,’ Sadie informed her seriously but she didn’t hesitate overmuch when the trial was repeated the following day.
With three days to go before she was to begin working at the fashion house, ‘Style’, there was a hint that all was not well. Sally went earlier than arranged to collect Sadie and found the little girl dressed in her outdoor clothes and standing at the back door just outside the kitchen.
‘Oh, she’s ready to leave. Marvellous. But how did you know I would be early?’ she asked, as she picked up Sadie, who clung to her very tightly.
‘I always believe in fresh air and my little darling has been out in the garden while I tried to teach her to catch a ball,’ Gwen explained, patting Sadie’s head. ‘She’s getting quite good too, for a little girl who isn’t quite three. Birthday soon, isn’t it? And my favourite little three-year-old is going to have a party. Cake, balloons, everything. We’ve been practising party games today, all ready for the big occasion, haven’t we, Sadie?’
Sadie was a bit subdued that evening but Sally presumed it was tiredness. If she played outside and did all the things Mrs Taylor told her, then that was understandable.
Sunday was filled with treats but Sadie was clingy and lacking her usual enthusiasm. They went to the mill in the afternoon, then Sally made a tasty meal. Sadie ate less than usual and fell asleep on her lap.
‘Must be the new experiences tiring her out, and more activities than at nursery,’ Valmai said.
‘She isn’t enjoying being with this Mrs Taylor,’ Gwilym said. ‘Our little Sadie isn’t happy.’
‘She’ll soon get used to it.’ Sally didn’t sound very sure. Starting work again after so long was wonderful, but only if Sadie wasn’t suffering for it.
Her first few days in her new position were exhausting as Sally tried to absorb everything that went on. She needed to know the finance allowed for each new season and who the regular agencies were from whom they bought. They visited two during the first week and she knew she would use neither of them again. Being offered old stock at a discount was not how she envisaged her new role. Finding others meant extra long days and Sadie was always happily playing at Mrs Taylor’s when she arrived to collect her.
On Sadie’s third birthday there was no real party planned, just the family plus Jimmy and a couple of children Sadie knew from when she had attended nursery. At least she’d have a party at Mrs Taylor’s, she consoled herself, and I’ll do better next year. She made certain she was there to collect her daughter herself and although there was evidence of a party with balloons and a partly eaten cake on the table, there were no signs of any guests. Gwen’s voice was excessively jolly and Sadie didn’t respond; she just clung to her mother in a very unusual way. Sadie had always been a confident child and Sally was worried as she went back to Mill Road.
She prepared their meal and encouraged Sadie to talk about her day. ‘Do you like going into the garden to play ball with Gwen?’ was one of the questions she asked.
‘Not Gwen. Only Sadie,’ Sadie replied solemnly. ‘No ball, I played with cat.’
‘A real cat?’
‘The cat in the flowers,’ was the casual reply.
After they had eaten, instead of putting Sadie to bed, Jimmy came and Sally was glad. She needed to talk to Valmai and while he played with Sadie and her new toys, she told Valmai that all was not well with the arrangement with Gwen Taylor.
Jimmy stayed a while longer, reluctant to go home, and Valmai whispered to Sally that only his father was there and he would wait until his mother came home. He usually had a difficult time when only Walter was there, taking the blame for everything wrong in his father’s life and there was plenty – some real, most imagined. He had painted a card for Sadie with cats and rabbits on it and once she saw it, Sadie refused to put it down and carried it for the rest of the evening.
While Jimmy amused the little girl, Sally explained more fully her doubts about the care Gwen was providing and Valmai promised to call in and see what was happening, during her afternoon break on the following day.
That night Sally’s sleep was troubled. She had been wrong to take the job. It was too soon to leave Sadie in the care of someone else. She was wide awake at midnight and went down to get a drink. She was quiet, not wanting to wake the others, and when she opened the door of the living room she was surprised to see Gwilym standing at the window, leaning on his sticks. As she watched he moved across the room and back again, several times, then sat in his usual chair and seemed to settle for sleep. Silently, hardly daring to breathe, she went back to her bed.
Before returning to the hotel for her evening session next day, Valmai went to telephone Sally to report what she had seen.
‘I went round to the back garden without knocking on the door and there was your Sadie in the garden, wrapped up but shivering with the cold. The “cat” she played with was a concrete statue in among the dead flowers. No toys, not even a ball in sight. Sadie hadn’t seen me so I crept away and came to tell you what I’d seen.’
Phoning to tell her boss she’d be a couple of hours late, Valmai waited for Sally and together went back to Gwen Taylor to find Sadie sipping a glass of milk and with biscuits in her hand. The room was immaculate, everything polished and nothing out of place. Sadie looked very subdued and didn’t get up when they walked in. Sally picked her up and asked, ‘What have you been doing today, darling?’
‘Talking to Cat. I’ve got a biscuit,’ she added, holding one up in a hand that was red with cold.
Sally pressed her head against her neck and her cheeks were like ice. ‘Why is she so cold?’ Sally asked. ‘She’s been outside too long.’
‘I can’t get her in, the little love. She likes playing ball and riding the little bike. With me holding her to keep her safe, of course.’
‘I called earlier,’ Valmai said. ‘She was standing out there on her own, the door was closed and she was shivering with cold. There was no sign of you and certainly no toys to amuse herself.’
‘Can I go home now, Mummy?’ Sadie whispered.
‘Well, yes, I do leave her for a moment or two,’ Gwen said, ignoring the child’s comment. ‘I have to get our lunch, and clean the house. Mothers do the routine things even if they have half a dozen children, don’t they? They don’t need watching every minute.’
‘They do when that’s what you’re being paid to do,’ Sally said, turning towards the door. ‘She won’t be coming again.’
‘About the money you owe—’
‘Money?’ Valmai snapped. ‘You’re lucky we aren’t suing for cruelty!’
Although she was heavy, Sally carried Sadie back to Mill Road and didn’t let her go until Valmai had made hot drinks.
‘I’ll have to forget any thought of full-time work until she’s older. I’d never have a moment’s peace wherever she was after this.’
‘Don’t think about it tonight. Tomorrow’s another day and I have a few ideas,’ Valmai said.
‘There isn’t an idea I can imagine that would solve this. I really thought Gwen Taylor was suitable, the way she went at once to talk to Sadie, became her friend. I’ll phone first thing in the morning.’
‘Two days, just give me two days.’
Valmai was thoughtful when she cycled to work for her evening shift. She was late and at once apologized to her boss. The meal was well underway and she checked the lists and began setting the tables to be ready for the guests and others who had booked for the evening. It was late when everything was finished and the last plate washed and in its place. Then she began to discuss how her hours could be changed to allow her to look after Sadie.
It was too late to talk to Sally that evening, finishing as she did at about eleven o’clock, but after her morning shift, she rang the office again. She had to st
op Sally from handing in her notice. Sadie was with her.
‘It’s all fixed,’ she announced when she answered. ‘Sadie is going to nursery full-time and I’m changing my hours. I’ll be free in the evenings until seven, by which time you’ll be home.’ She didn’t tell Sally about the drop in her wages. She owed her a great deal after the way her son had let her down. ‘My Gwilym is thrilled. Can’t wait to see more of her. I’ll pick her up from the nursery at four and she’ll come to us until you’re back. Now,’ she added, as Sally began to make doubtful noises, ‘doesn’t that sound better than you giving up on a job you’ve hardly started?’
‘Thank you, but I can’t ask you to cut your hours for me.’
‘Rubbish, glad I’ll be to ease up a bit. So, will that be all right?’
‘I’ll be renting a flat as soon as I find one and I don’t know where we’ll be living.’
‘Deal with that later. One thing at a time or we’ll never get anything sorted. Now,’ she said, quickly changing the subject, ‘I bought a dozen balloons today, will that be enough for a party? After her disastrous birthday she deserves another party. A three-year-old has to invite all her friends. Sunday all right?’
Enquiries around the neighbours revealed that Sadie had been either shut in the kitchen or in the garden for most of the time she had been with Gwen Taylor and the more she learned the more anxious Sally became about the importance of her daughter’s care. Valmai was the obvious – in fact the only – choice. A flat must be found, but it had to be somewhere in easy reach of Valmai.
The party took place in Valmai’s overcrowded house and Sadie invited several friends from her nursery. All her cards were displayed, including one very large one from Rhys. In this instance, the less you care the bigger the card, Sally muttered when Sadie opened it.
Valmai helped with the food and Jimmy came and played with the children, feeling like a little boy enjoying a treat himself. Gwilym made small cat models for each girl and the occasion was one Sally felt sure would give everyone happy memories. She wondered where they would be on Sadie’s next birthday and, in a weak moment, whether Rhys would be there. The thought was immediately stifled with anger. Sadie was his daughter but he had lost all rights to be involved in her life, by lying and cheating.
During those first weeks of her new appointment Sally had spent a lot of time following members of staff to acclimatize herself with the way the business was run. She made a few changes and in the middle of May, she arranged to go to Bristol on her own to visit a warehouse and to see a fashion show to view the autumn styles. The arrangements with Valmai meant Sadie was safe and happy, giving her a mind free to be able to think about the job and all it entailed.
Bristol was scary as she expected to bump into Rhys every time she turned a corner, but most of the time was spent in the hotel where the fashion show was taking place and the day went off without that unpleasant meeting happening. She drove home in the firm’s car she had been given and greeted a happy Sadie soon after six o’clock.
She met up with Amy again, who was keen to hear about the new job and sympathized over the worries of Sadie’s unfortunate childcare. ‘So now all is well except you’ll probably need some more decent outfits if you’re going to go gallivanting around the country dealing with expensive clothes, eh?’
Amy was easily tempted by the idea of a mild spending spree and they talked enthusiastically about British and Paris fashions.
‘The women of Paris have that special touch. Even a simple outfit is made to look elegant with a few additions or an adjustment to make the fit just perfect. It’s attention to detail really. They always spend those important extra moments before being satisfied, even if it’s only a brief visit to friends. You ought to persuade your boss that you need to go and see for yourself just how clever they are with clothes,’ she added. ‘I might be persuaded to go with you, once I tell Rick it’s for research and you need my support.’
‘Not quite yet!’ Sally laughed. ‘I’d better give it a week or so.’
The only disconcerting note during those days were the increasingly noisy arguments from next door. Valmai and Gwilym often invited young Jimmy in and with Gwilym he was making a model of a watermill, carefully supervised as he used some of the tools.
‘The blade is sharp,’ Gwilym told him before allowing him one of the knives. ‘Don’t push, that’s how accidents happen. Just gently and patiently use its sharpness.’
They usually turned up the radio to disguise the voices as Netta and Walter argued.
‘What’s worrying,’ Valmai told her, ‘is the way Netta now retaliates. Once she more or less ignored his constant criticism and the way he banged furniture about. Now she retaliates and sometimes she screams in rage. Poor Jimmy can’t cope. Walter bringing the boy into the arguments made Netta change. Everything got worse and Jimmy is in the middle of it. Poor lad.’
Early summer surprised them with some wonderfully sunny days and Sally wondered, not for the first time, what David was doing and why he hadn’t been in touch for so long. She thought it might be because she was living with the Martins but he hadn’t been seen for longer than that. She had called on his mother a couple of times but each time she had been told that he was either out, or sleeping. He was avoiding her and she wondered why, after his previous friendship.
Whenever time allowed and the weather was suitable, picnics were a regular feature of their week. They went either to the park or the mill, where they sometimes met Eric. They frequently invited Jimmy, who, she noticed, still spent a lot of time there and was continuing to clean the wooden paddles of the huge waterwheel and someone – most likely him, she surmised – was gradually deepening the stream where the wheel was locked with the silt, weeds and rubbish collected over many years.
She knew he dreaded going home. The quiet didn’t offer any relief from his anxiety; he just waited for it to start over again. One day he told her that Eric was ill.
‘The doctor thinks he ought to be in hospital but Valmai – I mean Mrs Martin – has promised to look after him. It was that Amy who found him. That’s a surprise, eh? Got the doctor she did and told Val – Mrs Martin and they’ve arranged help.’
‘I’ll call and see him tomorrow,’ Sally promised. ‘He’s been very kind to me.’
‘Mrs Martin would like to have him staying with her I think. Known him for years, she told my mam.’
‘But she can’t. Because of me,’ Sally murmured.
The flat hunting wasn’t easy, but she had to find something very soon. She had looked at all the vacant flats in the area and none were suitable. Then she went to see Eric.
He was sitting beside a mock coal fire in his small but clean and tidy room, wrapped in a dressing gown and with an assortment of fruit and drinks on a table nearby. She added the food and drinks she had brought and asked how he was feeling.
‘Are you set on renting a flat?’ he asked, after assuring her he was improving by the day. ‘Would you consider a small house? Only there’s one for rent in School Lane past the old mill. People have just moved out and the owner can’t decide whether to rent it again or sell. If you had a word you might persuade him to rent to you.’
‘I know it. I used to live in School Lane, remember. I’ll certainly look at it.’ When Eric told her the number, it was next door to Mr and Mrs Falconer, who had asked her to leave the rooms she had rented from them when she had been expecting Samuel. She remembered the couple in the now vacant house and Eric explained they had moved to be nearer to their son in Cardiff.
The house would be ideal. Two bedrooms and two living rooms, a bathroom and a large kitchen. The garden was too large, but she’d gradually tame it. But could she afford it? Living next door to Mr and Mrs Falconer, who had been so disapproving, wasn’t an ideal situation but when she looked at the house and imagined having so much space she telephoned the owner at once and asked if he would consider renting it.
The man who stepped out of the car later that day made her g
asp with surprise. It was the man she thought of as the red-haired giant, the kindly man who had helped when she and Amy had run out of petrol.
He kept smiling at her as she looked around the rooms, which were rather shabby, and when she asked again if he would consider renting to her, he nodded. ‘I don’t want you doing all the decorating, mind. I think you’ve done enough of that. I’ll see to anything that needs doing. Right?’
‘How did you know about that?’ she asked.
‘Old Eric. A friend of mine he is.’ He held out a huge hand and said, ‘Matthew Miller. I reckon my family must have owned the mill once, what d’you think?’
‘I don’t know. Why haven’t I seen you before? I’ve lived here for more than two years.’
‘I don’t come often. My father calls for the rent. The house is actually his, but I see to things for him.’
She offered her hand again and said, ‘I’m Sally Travis and—’
‘Oh, I know all about you, Sally. I’m looking forward to seeing your daughter Sadie again.’
They discussed terms and when he asked if she needed anything done before moving in she shook her head. ‘I need to get everything sorted fairly quickly. I have a new job you see, and—’
Again he interrupted her. ‘I know, you work for “Style”, and you need to get Sadie settled so you can concentrate on your career.’
She laughed then. ‘All right, you tell me if you have any questions to which you don’t know the answer.’
‘When d’you want to move in?’
‘This week!’
So it was settled. She was sad at leaving the Martins’ home; they had been very kind and it was only the thought of Rhys returning home that made it imperative that she moved out. She had to cut that link. Within three days she and Sadie were installed in the modest little house in School Lane. Matthew Miller had painted several rooms before she moved in and he was waiting with transport to help move her furniture and bits and pieces. As soon as everything was in place, she went at once to thank Eric and invite him for Sunday lunch as soon as he was well enough, The future looked good. She was earning a generous wage, with work she enjoyed, a workforce that was pleasant and a kindly boss – plus a house all to herself. Bliss.
Facing the World Page 17
