by Abby Ayles
* * *
Lady Rebecca paused for just a moment and her small eyes rounded with shock.
* * *
“You know about that?” she asked in only a slightly weak voice. “But it is not only that,” she waved her hands to push the matter aside. “I would be happy just to see you settled even if I don’t get the board seat.”
* * *
“Do you mean that?” Raven asked hiding the smile spreading on his face.
* * *
This was what he was hoping for. He had driven his aunt to this point in the conversation for one reason only, so that he could tell her that he was more than willing to marry. His only condition was that it was the girl of his choosing, the one who had stolen his heart.
* * *
“Of course I mean that. I only want you to be happy,” Lady Rebecca assured him.
* * *
“Good. I do have a woman in mind. If she has me, I shall endeavor to make her happy every day of our lives.”
* * *
Lady Rebecca clapped her hands joyously at the declaration before stopping suddenly.
* * *
“If she will have you? I am sure no lady on this earth would deny you, Raven. Tell me, who is she? Do I know her? I have had my mind so focused on Lady Charlotte that I hadn’t even paid attention I suppose. Who is it that you have given your heart to?”
* * *
Again, Lady Rebecca spoke so much so quickly that Raven had to wait until she got it all out before attempting to answer any of her questions.
* * *
“She may not be who you might consider a choice, but I can assure you that she is the finest lady if I have ever seen one. She is strong-willed and determined. She is smart, beautiful, and infuriating all at the same time,” Raven said with a chuckle.
* * *
“Yes, yes, boy. You love her, I get all that, no need to berate me with her qualities. Tell me her name!”
* * *
“Lady Alexandra Woodley.”
* * *
“You mean Lord Grebs’ daughter?” Lady Rebecca hesitated at the notion.
* * *
Raven swallowed hard as his aunt took in his news. He was still unsure how she would accept it. An impoverished earl with questionable mental health was certainly not a prominent family to attach oneself to.
* * *
“I am sorry if I have disappointed you, Aunt Rebecca. She is my choice, however. I could no more tell my mind to turn from her than tell the stars to remove themselves from the sky.”
* * *
“No, it’s not that at all,” she said leaning forward and patting Raven’s hand.
* * *
She still had that far off look to her eyes that made Raven wonder what she was hesitant about.
* * *
“I think she is a fine lady, I do. In fact, I am a little ashamed I had judged their family before meeting them the other day. I had always assumed based on the things I heard. I am far too old to fall in that way, and I am ashamed to admit that I did. They are a good family.”
* * *
He watched as her eyes glistened over. Pulling out a handkerchief she dabbed at the corners of her eyes.
* * *
“If it is about the board seat, I know they will do little to promote you. I, however, will do all in my power to help you.”
* * *
“Oh, it’s not the silly seat. It’s only, had I known you see, I wouldn’t have encouraged Lady Charlotte at the picnic.”
* * *
“Encouraged her?”
* * *
“I should have seen it. I don’t know how I didn’t. Of course, you got so close to Lord Grebs and his museum if only to make reasons to see her again. But I didn’t see it, I didn’t know.”
* * *
“What did you say to encourage Lady Charlotte?” Raven asked fear welling in his heart.
* * *
“Just before the last game,” his aunt sniffed. “I just said a few words before she left. That you were on the hunt for the most unique object in the garden, and I knew you were hoping to find her.”
* * *
Raven sat back in his seat as he considered his aunt's words. He had a feeling that Lady Charlotte had been waiting for him to appear just as he had tried to seek out Lady Alexandra. He was sure that his aunt’s words had only given her the added courage to follow her plan all the way through. After all, Lady Rebecca had practically told Lady Charlotte point blank that he wanted to marry her.
* * *
Perhaps, up until that point, the lady had thought he was torn between her and Lady Alexandra. She couldn’t have been blind to the affection he had shown her the whole day through, even though they never directly spoke to one another.
* * *
Now that Raven thought about it, he was sure that Lady Charlotte had looked up just before she had tripped. Had she even tripped at all? Lady Charlotte had received encouraging words from his aunt and used her own wit to tip the scales in her favor. Because of that silly moment, he could lose Lady Alexandra.
* * *
“Then when you two came back together, well I just thought it had all worked out right,” she continued to blubber on. “I was so happy about it. Oh, and so vocal about what a fine couple you made,” she added in shock, replacing the handkerchief with a hand over her mouth.
* * *
“It’s all right,” Raven tried to calm his aunt.
* * *
“And Lady Alexandra looked so wretched when she came back. I wondered what had turned her mood so sullen all of a sudden. It was because she saw the two of you walking together wasn’t it?”
* * *
“I’m afraid she saw far worse than that,” Raven said with a slow breath.
Raven had told his aunt the whole of the tale. She, of course, was terribly shocked to hear of Lady Charlotte’s behavior. None the less the damage had been done. Lady Alexandra wouldn’t see him, no matter how many ways he tried to engage her in speaking the truth.
* * *
“Well, I will go and see her myself. I will explain it all,” Lady Rebecca had offered.
* * *
Though it was a kind gesture, Raven wouldn’t allow such a thing. His aunt meddling in his love life had already proven a failure once. He was sure the only way to get this done right was to do it himself.
* * *
For the first time in his life, however, he had no plan. He had no adventure to look ahead to. He had nothing on his horizon. The only light he had in front of him was Lady Alexandra, and she refused to show herself.
* * *
He pondered on this fact all through the night at the banquet. Of course, going to the museum, seeing the magnificent room prepared so perfectly, and hearing the general consensus of applause for his venue choice only made his ache worse.
* * *
Raven saw Lady Alexandra’s hand in every little detail of the Garden room. From the fine meal, to the tasteful table arrangements, to the beautiful lush scenery that encased him. Even the several tropical birds that were brought into the center of the green room. Each had their stands at various points along the lush walls that encased the hall, including his new friend, Miss Nutters.
* * *
Before the meal began, the gents were able to circle the room, examine the fine specimens, and even get some of them to do a few tricks as instructed by the footmen standing next to each bird. It was highly entertaining and most impressive for the men of the Society.
* * *
All of this kept his mind full of Lady Alexandra. He did his best to put on a good face for the rest of the men. But by the time the evening was over, he couldn’t wait to remove himself from the place.
* * *
Raven didn’t care if he would have to call every day at Lord Grebs’ house and stand outside the Museum of Natural Wonders every afternoon. He would do whatever it took to get Lady Alexandra to hear him out, and then win her ov
er.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lady Alexandra sat on the edge of her bed, white gloves in hand. In only a few moments she knew she must rise up and see that all her sisters were readied adequately for the evening. She hadn't the strength to do so.
* * *
In fact, Lady Alexandra had the strength to do little these days beyond crying. Even Lady Sophia sensed the change in her older sister and settled herself to a less irritating state. When their father announced that he too would be attending the ball tonight with them, Sophia hadn’t even made a stir about being too young to go.
* * *
Naturally, Lady Alexandra had sent in her acceptance of the invitation several weeks in advance. She had rather hoped to send condolences on their absence that very night, not feeling the energy to go. With her father’s announcement that would no longer be possible.
* * *
In truth, it wouldn’t have been fair to her two younger sisters either. She knew she shouldn’t deprive them of their time socializing all because she didn’t feel up to it. So instead of staying home with Lady Sophia, Lady Alexandra had seen that Polly freshen out all their dresses, prepare their silk stockings and fine gloves.
* * *
She looked down at the gloves still in her hands. The button was still missing on one of them. She had forgotten to sew it on. With the fresh reminder of Sir Hamilton’s ball tears rose in her eyes anew. Lady Alexandra wouldn’t let herself cry again. She had done enough of that over the last few days.
* * *
She had thought after the first day following the picnic when she refused Raven’s letter and call he would have given up. She was sure he was only trying to alleviate any disgruntlement between them before the banquet for the sake of its quality. That wasn’t the case, however. For the past three days, Raven had come every day and called on her.
* * *
Twice he had tea in the drawing room with her younger sisters and father while she laid in bed with a pretend headache. The sound of his voice floated up the stairs and through the wall, tearing her heart anew.
* * *
Why he continued to torment her was nothing short of a mystery. He had apparently chosen his lady. With the banquet over, he should have left her be. Still, he was persistent for some unknown reason.
* * *
Lady Alexandra took a long slow breath, pushing against the stays of her corset. She smoothed out the moss green silk fabric of her dress before coming to stand. Walking forward she slipped into her tan slippers with golden embroidery.
* * *
She prayed with all her heart that Raven would not appear tonight at the ball but knew the possibility unlikely. He would be there and so would Lady Charlotte with her family. For the next several hours Lady Alexandra would be forced to watch them as they paraded around the ballroom as the new happy couple.
* * *
She swallowed back the emotions it was stirring in her again. Surely her knees would go weak if she thought on the idea too long.
* * *
“Alexandra?” she heard her father’s voice call from the door. “Are you all right, dear? You have been looking rather pale these last few days,” he commented, walking through the open door of her room.
* * *
“I’m fine. I just felt a little sickly for a moment, but I am fine now,” Lady Alexandra said, desperate to hold her chin up just slightly higher.
* * *
Lord Grebs studied his daughter for a second before giving a nod like he had made up his mind.
* * *
“Come and have a seat with me, dear,” he said padding to one of the mattresses.
* * *
Lord Grebs took his place and waited for his daughter to follow.
* * *
“You have been having several headaches as of late as well. Perhaps you are unwell?”
* * *
“I am all right,” Alexandra said with a weak smile. “Plus I must be there for Josephine and Williamina.”
* * *
Lord Grebs studied his daughter for a moment longer before taking her delicate hand in his worn one.
* * *
“You get that from your mother, you know?” he said in a soft tone.
* * *
“I do?” Lady Alexandra asked more surprised that her father was actually talking about his late wife.
* * *
“Mmm,” he nodded. “She could be so fierce sometimes. I’m sure you can guess that I am not the most outgoing creature,” he said with a half-smile. “Well, any time I just wanted to shut myself away, she would tell me that I just needed to tilt my chin a little higher. Even if I wasn’t feeling up to it, a raised chin always makes you a might braver.”
* * *
“Then when she was gone,” he continued his voice falling sadly. “Well, I didn’t have anyone to remind me to raise my chin, and I guess I just stopped. I left you to do far more than I should have. You were forced to be strong when I should have been for you. Other’s would have shrunk away, but not someone like you, someone so like your mother,” he added with a smile.
* * *
“I miss her,” Lady Alexandra said softly. “I wish I could remember her better. Sometimes I think if I could, it wouldn’t be so hard for me to…well you know, help out the others.”
* * *
“You mean be a mother to them as you promised?” Lord Grebs corrected.
* * *
Lady Alexandra looked at her father in surprise. She had never shared that promise with anyone, not even Lady Eagleton.
* * *
“I was there when you made it. I had just walked into the room, and I heard it. But this, this is not what she wanted of you. You have given so much of yourself away, Alexandra. You gave a piece of it to each of us and left nothing for yourself. Part of that is my fault, and I’m sorry for it,” he added struggling to control his emotions.
* * *
“You were mourning. I understand,” Lady Alexandra said to make him feel better.
* * *
She saw his lip quiver just slightly.
* * *
“You’re right,” he said finally. “In fact, all of this time I was. I don’t know if I will ever stop, truth be told. When she left us, well so much of me left with her.”
* * *
“It’s funny,” he continued. “When Raven came that first day, it was like he reminded me that I did still matter to people out there. I had just figured when I shut myself up the world had forgotten me just as it had forgotten her. But he came here and told me what an impact the museum, my research, had had on his life as a boy. How he loved the place even now and was so grateful I was dedicated to it.”
* * *
“I guess he reminded me that I still had a purpose outside my little library. That it wasn’t entirely wrong for me to live on, even if it was alone.”
* * *
“He did give us that,” Lady Alexandra said with a timid smile. “I suppose in that way we can all be grateful for his presence in our lives. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you at dinner that first night. For a long time, we lost our mother and our father. It meant so much to have you come back to us.”
* * *
“But that isn’t all he brought to this family, is it?” Lord Grebs asked, turning his gaze to meet hers.
* * *
“I’m not sure what you mean?”
* * *
“Well, I may not be the most present parental figure, but I am sure that as a scientist noting the correlation between headaches and Raven’s visits means something.”
* * *
“I can assure you it means nothing,” Lady Alexandra said with determination.
* * *
“Hmm. Perhaps the correlation between the end of our recent picnic and the sudden onset of tears?”
* * *
Now it was Lady Alexandra’s turn to hold back a quivering lip.
