by Erin Trejo
Storming into the bedroom, I punch the wall. And then do it again.
I punch until there are holes in the walls and I can only see red. Cher comes in and watches me until she finally takes a step in front of me.
“You done with your fit yet?” With my hands clenched at my sides, I look her in the eye.
“Get out.” Cher almost looks hurt but she throws a mask up. She crosses her arms over her chest being as defiant as Bella.
“No.”
“Get out damn it!” Growling, I watch her jump slightly but she doesn’t leave.
“Talk to me.” I can hear the pleading in her voice but the only thing I want to do is kill someone.
“I can’t talk right now Cher! Don’t you fuckin’ see that! I want to fuckin’ kill someone! I want to wrap my fuckin’ hands around someone’s neck and watch all the life drain from their body! The person that hurt my little girl! The one that took my friends life. The one that hurt you! I want them all to pay!” Reality hits her in the face like a ton of bricks. I’m sure she can feel the anger rolling off of me.
Without another word, her hands wrap around my waist as she lays her head on my chest.
“What the fuck are you doin’?” I want to scream, I want to fucking go out and hurt someone but Cher just holds on tighter.
“I can’t handle this Cher.” My voice comes down a little but not much. My body hums with all this pent up rage that I have.
“When I was locked in that room I thought I wouldn’t make it out. I would lie on the floor and beg god to take me. He never did though. I remember the day Thomas forgot to lock the door. I laid there so still waiting for that all too familiar click but it never came. His motorcycle took off down the road and I could hear it. I didn’t move though. I was afraid he’d come back but something kept telling me he was gone and that I needed to run so I did. I stood up and I ran never looking back. I knew there was something better out there for me, there had to be.” Cher sighs into my chest as I let her words sink in. Knowing that she was held there stirs up so much emotion I don’t know how this story was supposed to help me.
“Did you ever find it?” She giggles slightly before pulling back and looking up at me.
“I found you. That day I met you my world changed. Ever since that day Tank, you are all I can dream of. There is nothing else I want more than you. When your arms are around me I feel safe. I feel secure. I feel loved.” I look into those beautiful eyes and get lost.
“You feel all of that with my arms around you?” I look at her like she’s crazy before she slaps at me.
“I feel so much more Tank. You may feel like you need to hurt someone but I need you. Bella needs you.” The more she talks the deeper I fall for her. I have never told her that I loved her but I know in my heart that I do. Without overthinking it, I say it.
“I love you Cher.” She pushes up on her toes with a huge grin on her face her lips brushing over mine.
“I love you more.”
Chapter 23
“Take that shit outside prospect.” Joey looks at me with the same wavering look he always has these days.
Being back at the clubhouse has set me into a whirl wind of emotions. I can’t seem to function without getting pissed off. Creed has even pulled me from half the fucking runs because of my attitude.
I can’t help it though. Some motherfucker held my old lady against her will and hurt her. Some assholes put their hands on my daughter. Her mother is still lurking the fuck around somewhere and one of my friends is dead because of it all.
I make my way around the clubhouse like a tornado ripping up and throwing anything in my path.
Tonight is party night at the club but I just can’t get into it. Nothing has gone my way since we’ve been back and I fucking hate every second of it.
“What are you doing?” Cher walks into the main room as I line up a row of shots on the bar in front of me.
“What the hell does it look like?” I know I’m snappy with her but shit I’m tired of sitting still and on my ass. I need to get out of here and figure all this shit out and handle it.
“Nice attitude.” Cher rolls her eyes before dropping down in a chair close to the bar.
“Fuck off!” Mumbling under my breath I finish filling the glasses up.
One by one, I throw them back, savoring the burn of each one.
“Hey Tank. Someone’s lookin’ for you.” Dizzy as hell and drunk off my ass I turn to see Danny standing by the door.
“Who the fuck is it?” Staggering closer to him, I am in no mood to deal with anyone’s shit tonight.
Danny shakes his head as I stumble over to him. Once I’m close enough, she steps out from behind him.
My heart stops in that moment. What the fuck is she doing here? How did she get in here? She isn’t coming anywhere near my daughter.
Flames blow through my body like a wild fire as I come face to face with the woman that stole my heart and then my child.
Candy.
Before I can rethink what I’m doing my hands are wrapped around her throat slamming her against the wall.
“What the fuck did you do?” Screaming in her face, I watch it turn red from lack of oxygen. Stupid woman just stepped into the wrong fucking club.
Screams explode behind me but all I see is her. Her face brings back so many memories and I want to strangle each one out of her.
“Fuckin’ back off!” Creed screams in my ear as I’m ripped away from Candy. My hands clench at my sides as I try to make my way back over towards her.
“Settle the fuck down!” Creed screams again as I throw my hands up.
“Get that bitch out of my clubhouse.” Pointing at Candy, all eyes follow.
Swallowing hard, I hate the way I’m being forced into reliving my past in the matter of seconds. It’s like taking a million bullets to the chest.
“What are you doin’ here?” Creed walks up into her face. Candy doesn’t know how to react to him either. He’s a scary motherfucker when he’s in his zone.
“I need to talk to Tank.” Creed laughs a cynical sounding laugh. He’s in his zone and nothing but pure evil lives there. It’s the side of him I connected with on so many runs.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Who sent you here?” Creed inches closer to her when I feel someone’s hands on my back.
Turning my head I see that it’s Bella. Shit, I don’t need her seeing this right now.
“Mom?” She steps out from behind me as a small path clears. Bella has a clear view of her mother now and I’m not sure what to do here. I won’t let her leave this clubhouse. Bella is my daughter and no one will ever take that away from me again.
“Bella! Oh my god my baby.” Candy moves towards her but Bella moves faster than I ever thought she could.
Bella has Candy around the neck just like I did. Hell yeah, she is my kid! I almost want to wait this one out but this is one of those times that I need to be a father.
Stepping in, I grab Bella pulling her away from her mother as she fights me and screams.
“You stupid bitch! I hate you! You let them do whatever they wanted and then you took off!” Screaming and kicking I take a step back before I realize she’s crying hysterically.
“Cher!” As soon as I yell her name, she’s at my side.
“Take her to the room.” One of the things I love about Cher is that when shit is getting serious she doesn’t argue back.
I watch as Cher walks with a crying Bella down the hall before I turn back to Candy.
“You took my kid away from me. You let people hurt her. You ruined so many lives I can’t fuckin’ count. This is the last place you should have shown up.” Taking a deep breath, I stand tall. I don’t go after her again as much as I want to.
I must say I’m pretty fucking proud of myself right now.
“You wanted this club you son of a bitch. You never wanted us!” Oh, she wants to go that route?
“I wanted her! I wanted my daughter! You, I cou
ldn’t give a fuck about you.” The rumble that comes from me almost feels good. Of all the things that have floated around in my head, I must say that I haven’t killed her yet.
I turn and head towards the back when I hear Creed speak.
“Torch, handle that bitch. Tank, wait a minute.” I can hear him coming up behind me as my heart slams into my ribs. I feel like I’m going to explode at any second.
“I’m proud of you brother.”
Chapter 24
Pushing the bedroom door open, I find my little girl in a heap of tears on the bed. My heart wants to burst at the seams seeing her this way. It fucking kills me.
Cher’s head pops up when I close the door. She smiles and nods before climbing off the bed and walking towards me.
“She needs her dad.” Her hand rests on my chest before I lean in and kiss her.
“Thank you.” Kissing her one more time, she leaves the room closing the door behind her.
I blow out a breath and try to calm my nerves as I walk over to the bed.
“I’m sorry Bella.” The words catch in my throat. I’m sorry just doesn’t seem like it’s enough. I feel like I should have something more to say to her.
Her cries get louder as I sit on the edge and wrap my arm around her. Her head comes up and her puffy red eyes lock on mine.
“I hate her dad! I hate her so much for everything.” Bella sits up before I pull her against me. I hold her close to me and in this moment I feel like more of a father than I ever have.
“I hate her too Bella. I hate what she did to you. This isn’t over. I will make her pay and I will make every one of those motherfuckers that hurt you pay. I never make a promise darlin’ that I can’t back up but this is my promise to you.” Bella jumps off the bed and runs to the bathroom with her hand over her mouth.
I can hear her throwing up. I have never had to do this part of the fatherhood thing before.
I walk in behind her as she hangs over the toilet.
“What do you need me to do here?” I know that may be the stupidest question I have ever asked but this is the first time that vie had to do this.
“Towel.” She doesn’t look up as I grab a towel and pass it her.
“I hate feeling like this dad. I hate it.” Bella cries as I drop down next to her.
“I know darlin’. Believe me I know. I wish I could take it all away but I can’t.” Bella turns to look at me with tears still falling down her cheeks.
“Will it ever stop hurting so much?” God, I hate this. I hate every fucking thing that’s hurting her.
“It will.” I reach for her and my heart leaps in my chest when she lets me hold her. I pull her into me and just hold her like a father should.
I made the choice that day at the lake to be a better father to her and I sure as hell am going to do just that.
“You know you can talk to me baby girl.” Bella sniffs as she snuggles in closer.
“I know. I like talking to Cher too. She understands me.” That hits me in the heart.
“I know she does. Probably more than you even know.” Lifting Bella in my arms, I carry her out to the bed and lay her down.
“You want anything?” I sit on the edge of the bed unsure of how all this stuff works.
“Will you stay with me?” Her slight sniffles touch my heart. This is my baby girl and I would die for her.
“Of course.” I climb on the bed as Bella rolls over and snuggles against me. It’s a strange feeling having her in my arms.
“She never really wanted me. What kind of person doesn’t want their own kid?” The tears don’t stop and I don’t have an answer for that one. I’m at a loss.
I hold Bella for a long time until she finally falls asleep. Sliding out of the bed, I run my hand over the side of her face clearing away the last of the tears that stain her cheeks.
“I’ll always want you.” Kissing her on the cheek, I head out to the main room to look for Cher.
“Hey where’s Cher?” Creed turns to look at me before he speaks.
“She ran out to the store with Jada and Piper.” Nodding slightly I scrub my hand over my face.
“She ok?” Blowing out a breath, I look up at him shaking my head.
“I don’t know brother. This shit storm just blew up like a fuckin’ hurricane. Where the hell did she come from and why now?” Dropping on the stool next to him, I run my hand over my face.
“Don’t know. Had Torch dump her ass out and then follow her. She didn’t go back to the Shadows; she went to that roach motel over off 89. Got him and Timmy over there watchin’ her.” Nodding I knew Creed would do all he could to figure this shit out.
“You’re not alone Tank. You’re my VP, my other half brother. When this club kicked my ass you are the one that kept me grounded. Aside from Jada, you and that little girl in there are my family. I’d put myself in front of a bullet for that girl or you.” The words leave his mouth and I know every one of them are true. Creed doesn’t talk a lot shit without backing it up and this time isn’t any different.
“I hope we don’t have to go that far but I got that feelin’ Creed.” He nods his head. He knows me too well to let any kind of feeling I have get brushed away. I’ve been right far too many times before.
“I hate this question but I need to ask it.” Glancing over at him, I wait for it.
“When the shit goes down, how do you want Candy handled?” His eyes connect with mine. A slight shudder runs through my body.
“I can’t be selfish here. I’d like to watch her rot in hell for takin’ my baby away from me but that’s not my decidin’ factor here. The fact that she took her to these places and let them hurt my baby? That’s what decides her fate.” I watch Creed for any sign that he doesn’t agree with me on this one but when I watch that evil grin snake across his face I know he’s with me 100%.
“And rot she will.” Creed extends his hand to me. I take it in mine as he shakes out his promise.
Chapter 25
The air turns colder at night now. Somehow, I find a comfort in it. Knowing that the air can chill my skin makes me calm down a few pegs.
I came outside to run the perimeter check that we’ve been doing for a couple weeks now.
Candy went back to Shadows after a few days at that hotel and we haven’t heard anything since. You would think that would comfort me in some way but it doesn’t it fucking worries me more.
I know I should be thankful that they haven’t tried anything else but that undeniable nagging is still at the back of my mind. It never goes away as much as I’d like it to.
I finish the last of the checks before I head back inside. I have opted to stay at the clubhouse most of the time since the security is better. I don’t want to take the chance of anyone finding my house and showing up.
“You ready for tomorrow?” Piper smiles as I walk towards the bar.
“Hell no. That shit came too fast.” Grabbing a beer, I sit down next to him.
“She’s growin’ up brother.” Piper smiles like a proud grandfather. I guess in a way he is.
Tomorrow is Bella’s birthday. 17 years old. My birthday was a few weeks ago but there is absolutely nothing to celebrate with my birth. Bella on the other hand, she deserves so much more.
“I know it. They back yet?” Piper shakes his head before lighting up a joint.
Jada took the girls out to look for a dress for Bella to wear tomorrow for her big day. Creed and I went out earlier too to shop for a gift.
Hell knows I’m not the gift buying expert.
“I heard Cher talkin’ to Jada. Did you know that her ex has been callin’ her? I’m not tryin’ to cause any trouble Tank but that girl looked shaken up.” My eyes dart to his and I know he’s not lying.
My heart slams in my chest on the verge of breaking free as I think about it.
“Not since the lake.” Gritting it out between my teeth I swear my blood pressure has to be through the roof these days.
“I think this was recent.
Sorry brother. Not my business.” Piper turns to look the other way as I laugh pulling his attention back.
“Everythin’ in this damn club is your business Piper. You’re the old timer here. You keep us boys up on our game.” Slapping his back, he smiles and laughs.
There are times that I think Piper and some of the older guys feel neglected and left out since Creed became president. Sometimes they just need a little reminder that they are still one of us.
“You boys are on top of that game without me.” I stand up and start to walk towards the kitchen.
“Not without all your input.” Shaking my head as I walk into the kitchen, I wonder what the hell has gotten into me.
Why the fuck am I in such a good mood? Maybe because my daughter is turning 17 tomorrow. Or maybe because I finally have her back after losing so many years with her.
Hell I don’t know what it is but I think I might just like it.
“Did you need something?” One of the Angel chasers smiles at me while licking her lips.
“Not anymore. You did your service.” With that, her smile fades and mine returns.
“I know all about Candy. I know what the plans are.” Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. Within seconds, I’m on her, pinning her against the wall.
“Why don’t you enlighten me then, yeah?” I watch her tongue come out of her mouth and streak across her ruby red lips as she stares me in the eye.
“Why don’t you give me what I want and I will sing like a little bird.” Her hand travels down my stomach stopping to massage my dick through my jeans.
“I think we can skip that part and you can tell me what the fuck I need to know.” Chyna, the little angel chaser just smiles before she shakes her head.
“I don’t give information away for free.” Leaning into me, she runs her tongue across my bottom lip.
“Don’t you want to ask me what I want?” Her hand tightens on my dick and hell help me I want to choke this bitch too.
“I don’t like to play games. I could snap your neck and not think twice about it. How about you stop this little game and talk.” My hands tighten on her shoulders as hers tighten on my dick. Fuck me!
