by Erin Trejo
“I still can’t believe she hit that fucker.” Chuckling, I look over at Tank. He has been repeating that shit for days now.
“That was some good shit. I didn’t know she had it in her.” Creed laughs before looking at both of us.
“She’s had that shit in her. She just kept it well hidden.” Nodding, that she did. I sure as hell didn’t see it coming from her.
“What is it she knows that they want?” Tank looks at Creed. The whole atmosphere in here just changed. I don’t think any of this shit has to do with Fallen Angel’s but I guess Tank needs to be reassured.
“I’d guess the shit with the Dusts’. I really don’t fuckin’ know though.” Creed scrubs his hand over his face before I take my usual spot in the corner.
It feels safe there. Tucked away in myself is where I’ve been for days now. The look on that kid’s face haunts my dreams. Even though I didn’t plan on killing him, in the end, I did. I took his life like it was any other day.
Torch being gone doesn’t sit well either. He was a good friend. Crazy as fuck, but he had my back more times than I care to think about. He lost it all, for us. I know why he did it though. He told me once before that he had nothing left in him. Nothing left but this club.
“You boys are free to go.” The jailer steps up unlocking the doors to let us out. I drag my ass out of the corner I’m lost in, and follow the guys out toward the front.
“Where’s Jada?” Barking at the little prick that locked us in here, he grins at me.
“I didn’t realize she had two men.” Taking a step toward him, he jumps back quickly.
“She has a ton more at the clubhouse. She’s family. Hey, how’s that nose feel? It ain’t lookin’ too good from this angle.” Tank laughs as the other guys file out the door.
“I can have your ass back in here in the matter of seconds.” The look on his face makes me laugh.
“Yeah, I bet you’re right. Problem is, next time you come into my home and throw another woman to the floor, I’ll bust more than your motherfuckin’ nose.” Creed grabs my arm pulling me back away from the asshole before I lose it completely.
“Take a walk Ryker. Jada’s outside.” Nodding toward the door, I do as I’m told while Creed finishes up with the lawyer.
Pushing through the door, my heart hammers in my chest. I take a deep breath of the cool air before I lock eyes with our little fighter.
“You busted that motherfucker’s nose. Good job darlin’.” Jada smiles while she walks over to me. Wrapping her arms around my waist, I hug her back.
“Out of that whole club, I knew you would be proud of me.” Jada giggles into my shirt before pulling back.
“Whatever you did, I appreciate it.” Looking down at her she smiles.
“I didn’t do much Ryker. Honest. He wanted information I had from my time with Kenny. I gave it to him with a little twist.” Shaking my head, Creed comes out of the building.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” Screaming at the top of his lungs, I don’t think I could agree more. Throwing my arm over Jada’s shoulders, we filter to the van the lawyer brought over.
“Hell of a right hook.” Jada looks up at me laughing before we climb in.
With a heavy heart, I sit against the side of the van. This is just the beginning of the end. I can feel it.
Chapter 45
Tank
Rolling over, I groan at the pain that radiates through my back. I never knew a burn could hurt worse than a fucking gun shot.
The last few days have been tense around here. Everything seems off. Nothing’s going right.
“Dad, are you ok?” Bella sits on the edge of the bed finally moving from the chair she’s been perched in for days. She hasn’t left my side after Doc checked me out. He gave me some pretty heavy pain medicine that kicked my ass.
“Bella, I’m the dad. I need to ask you that, yeah?” Rolling her eyes, she smiles at me.
“I’m worried about you. Hell, you were burned, and then arrested.” Her giggles are music to my ears. I miss that little laugh of hers. So angelic.
“Yeah, you know they say when it rains, it pours. It fuckin’ poured in here.” Smiling at her I adjust myself in the bed until I’m sitting up.
“Let me change that. Doc said it needed to be changed every few hours.” Bella hops off the bed heading into the bathroom before coming back out with clean dressings.
“Cher can do it baby girl.” Again, I get the eye roll.
“What, am I not good enough to do it?” I look at her expression before she starts laughing again. The little shit.
“You’re the fuckin’ best, Bella. Don’t you ever forget it. I want to talk to you though.” Bella climbs on the bed behind me before I feel her pulling the old dressings off. I try not to move so I don’t startle her, but that shit hurts like hell.
“About what?” Her voice is calm and steady. My sweet baby girl.
“Well, you know the shit we get into around here. There’s just a few things I need you to know. I love you, Bella. I’d never leave you on purpose.” My voice hitches slightly when I feel the medicine touch my burns.
“I know dad. We don’t need to do this.” Shaking my head, I do need to do this.
“I wouldn’t leave you if I had the choice. You, Cher, and Griff mean the world to me. If somethin’ ever happens to me I need to know that you’ll be ok Bella.” I hear her sniff behind me. My heart breaks. I don’t want to have this conversation, but I need to know that Bella can move on with her life. She has to.
I feel her put the new dressing on before I grab her hand. I pull her around to my side before I wrap my arms around her.
“I just need to know you can move on. You deserve so much more than I can give you baby girl.” Bella cries into my side. I know this is hard for her, but she has to understand what she means to me.
“I’ll be fine dad. You taught me how to live. I’ve never lived so much until I came here. Never worry about me, ok?” I love how strong she is; how strong she tries to be.
“I always worry about you Bella. You’re my daughter.” Shaking her head, she looks me in the eyes.
“Promise me, dad. Promise me that you won’t worry, ok?” The way her eyes plead with me kills something inside of me. Somethings not right.
“Bella.” She shakes her head again before looking me dead in the eyes.
“Promise me.” Her voice turns demanding before I nod my head.
“I promise Bella. I promise.” Throwing herself back into my arms, I hold my little girl.
Chapter 46
Creed
We said our goodbyes to Torch in a not so familiar way. We didn’t have a body to bury which is strange in itself, but we all did what we needed to do.
Sitting here at the bar, we laugh and talk about old times with Torch. Piper is off to the side lost in his own world. This is harder on him than it is for the rest of us. He always planned on going before the rest of the guys here.
This is our lifestyle whether we like it or not. As hard as I’m trying to pull us in another direction, there’s always that one thing that sticks around to haunt the hell out of us.
“Ryker, you good brother? I need you over in the shop tomorrow.” Ryker raises his beer at me but doesn’t speak. He’s been that way lately. He doesn’t speak a whole lot; I guess he’s processing things in his own way.
“I’ll help out if you need me.” Joey chimes in from down the bar. Nodding at him, I hate the whole vibe of this club. We’re not right, but I can only hope that with time we will be.
“I’m goin’ to Angel’s tomorrow for most of the day. Reggie is comin’ in to help out. Vic wants to come pay his respects this weekend and said he might stick around a little if that’s good with everyone.” Ryker grunts before I turn to look at him.
“You don’t like Vic?” The amusement in my voice brings out a grin on his face. That’s something I haven’t seen in a while.
“Hell no! You don’t remember that summer fiv
e, six years ago when that motherfucker rolled in here?” Shaking my head, I do, but I want him to tell that story. I want him to let out some of that shit he’s holding in.
“Yeah you do. That motherfucker rolled over here drunk of his ass. He ran around this club like he was a fuckin’ race car. Sharp let him shoot up that new shit we had and it was bogus. Vic tried to get Torch to shoot up with him but Torch knew somethin’ was off with it. He wouldn’t do it. Vic climbed up on that goddamn pool table right there, and took a big ass shit all over it.” The smile on his face is priceless. I love seeing him remembering and not getting lost.
“That was some nasty shit, too. Torch went over there and kept fuckin’ playin’. You remember that Ryker?” Piper smiles as he walks down toward us.
“Yeah, that motherfucker hit my favorite 8 ball right into the middle of that pile of shit. Nasty motherfucker.” Chuckling, we all laugh with him.
“Yeah, that was the good times back then brother. You young ones were up for anything back then. That same night, you took that dare and jumped off the goddamn roof of this place.” Jersey’s hands wrap around Ryker as she smiles.
“You did not do that?” Ryker turns his head to peck her on the lips before nodding.
“Oh darlin’, I did a shit ton more than that.” His smile lights up the room.
“Yeah, ask him about that time he almost electrocuted Torch.” Piper laughs before sliding another beer down the counter to me. Grabbing it in my hand, I look at Ryker.
“I wasn’t here for that shit. I would remember.” Ryker chuckles before pulling Jersey into his lap.
“Torch was fuckin’ with one of those chasers’ hair dryers. I filled up the bath tub next to him, told him it would work better if he jumped in and out really quick. I never thought the son of bitch would do it. When he jumped in the hair dryer slipped out of his hands, and hit the water. I never saw a man light the fuck up like he did.” Everyone breaks into laughter. I see the look in Ryker’s eyes though, he’s hurting inside.
Losing Torch is taking a toll on him.
Chapter 47
Tank
Wandering around the shop, I know I need to get to work but my mind won’t stop. What if I would have stayed in there and not Torch? He might not have had kids and all, but he was a good man. He didn’t deserve to go out like he did.
“Get your head out of your ass, Tank. We need these bikes done before tonight.” Ryker sits with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth working on one of them.
“Fuck off. I don’t give a shit if those little wanna be’s have their bikes for bitchfest.” Ryker laughs hysterically knowing exactly what I mean. The so called bikes we’re working on are what we like to call crotch rockets. Made of shit material, for even shittier riders. They shouldn’t even be considered bikes.
“Could you see us ridin’ these motherfuckers around town?” Hitting the bike with the wrench, Ryker laughs again.
“What kind of punks would we look like?” Shaking his head, he gets back to work before I start on the other one.
“We should cut the break lines. Fuckin’ shit isn’t a bike.” Mumbling to myself I hear Ryker laugh again. At least he’s laughing. That’s always a good sign.
“Hey, are we taken that lake trip any time soon?” Messing around with a bolt on this piece of shit, I look over at him.
“Hadn’t talked about. We need that shit though. At least, I do.” Ryker grunts as he gets back to work.
We work in silence when the thought occurs to me.
“Hey, Ryker. Bella say anything to you lately?” Grabbing his bottle of beer, he takes a long pull as I watch him.
“No more than usual. Why?” I see the look in his eyes. He knows what I’m talking about, he just isn’t saying it.
“She said somethin’ the other night. It just got to me.” Looking away from him, I saw him swallow hard.
“What’d she say?” Pulling out a cigarette, I light it before turning to look at him again.
“She made me promise that I wouldn’t worry about her. I don’t know what the hell she’s talkin’ about though.” Ryker shakes his head before standing up.
“So, did you?” Walking past me and toward the office, I follow his movements with my eyes.
“Did I what?”
“Promise her?” Shaking my head, I stand up and cross my arms over my chest.
“You want to tell me what it is you know brother?” Ryker pulls another beer out of the fridge before popping the top off and looking at me.
“I don’t know shit. Was just askin’.” He averts his eyes away from mine looking at anything but me. I’ll find out what it is that he knows.
“I did.” Walking past me, he stops.
“You did?” Looking at me a little confused, I wonder if the man is a little slow.
“I promised her I wouldn’t worry.” With a slight nod, he smiles and gets back to work.
Chapter 48
Creed
The store’s been busier than usual today. It’s weird not having Torch around being his normal annoying self. I miss it. I miss the smug ass look that he used to get on his face when he thought we were doing shit we shouldn’t be. I miss him.
“You ok in there, Creed?” Reggie hollers through the bathroom door at me. I don’t know how long I’ve been in here, but I do know that I’m not ready to come out. My head is spinning as my mind wanders to other things.
“Yeah.” Pushing the door open, I step out to see the look on Reggie’s face. He’s worried, and I can’t blame him. Hell, I’m worried right now.
“What are you thinkin’?” The way he narrows his eyes at me, makes me think he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
“You know somethin’ ain’t right when you start to think like Ryker, yeah?” Reggie shakes his head as he follows me back out to the front of the store. I stand off to the side watching Jada and Jersey as they work the register.
“That shits not good Creed. Ryker’s head is a completely messed up place to be brother.” Glancing over at him, I already know that. Ryker is a crazy son of a bitch.
“He seems to be on the right track with these motherfuckers though. I feel like I should have listened to him a long fuckin’ time ago. I wanted to plan shit out, and have everything in place before we moved on them.” Reggie sighs before slapping his hand down on my shoulder.
“You can’t think like that man. You’re right. You can’t go after them without a plan. Ryker wants to go balls out crazy, and believe me the rest of us do too, but goin’ out there unprepared isn’t goin’ to do anything but get more of us killed brother.” Dropping my head, I know he’s right. I just feel like I’m losing here. I’m losing my brothers, my club.
All the anger that bubbles up inside of me threatens to spill over, and I don’t want to take it out on anyone here.
Reaching out, I hit all the bottles in front of me off onto the floor. The girls jump before Reggie grabs my shoulders.
“Come on Creed! Take a walk!” Jerking me back, I turn on him.
“I’m losin’ it, brother!” Emotions flood my vision before I feel her hands wrap around me.
“Creed, take a walk with me.” Jada tugs at me, but my hands are clenched and ready to fight. I don’t know how to control all this shit. This club is falling fast, and nothing I do seems to be keeping it up.
Finally giving in to Jada, I let her pull me out the back door into the alley.
Pressing my hands against the wall, I lower my head. Her hands rub small soft circles over my back. Something inside of me wants to snap, it needs it. I haven’t felt like this in such a long time, it scares me.
“I want to kill someone.” Her hands press into me harder.
“I know.” Her voice is soft as she whispers near my ear.
“No you don’t. Jada, I haven’t felt like this since you’ve been back. Before, I just killed for the fuck of it. It soothed me to watch a motherfucker die. I don’t know what I’m doin’ anymore. I don’t know who the fuck I am.”
Jada climbs under my arms gripping my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her.
“You’re a leader Creed. If you aren’t strong enough for this, they won’t be either. They look up to you, respect you. They look to you for strength. You are you. You’ve always been you, Creed.” Looking her in the eyes, I don’t know how she sees that in me. Not anymore.
“I’ve lost that right, Jada. I don’t think I can lead these guys anymore.”
Chapter 49
Ryker
The shop smells of oil. I sit in the back of it with my knees pulled up to my chest, my face buried in my hands.
Life has always had a way of kicking my ass. Memories rush me as I try to block them out. Nothing works though, nothing takes the pain away.
Hearing noises, I don’t bother to look up. I don’t care who it is. If it’s Rit or his boys, then let them take me. I’ve given up. There’s a hollow spot inside of me where my heart used to be.
“I’ve been looking for you.” Jersey’s voice flows through me, but I don’t look up at her. I was supposed to be the man here. The one that took care of her, protected her, and now all that has slipped between my fingers too.
“Creed lost it over at Angel’s.” I still don’t look up. I just let out a grunt. I’m sure he did. He was on the edge just like the rest of us. Hell, I’m not far from that shit myself.
“Ryker, talk to me.” The sadness in her voice hurts me. My chest constricts as all the air is sucked from my lungs. I want nothing more than to be ok with her, for her.
“I don’t know what to say Jersey.” I can feel her sliding down the wall next to me before her arm wraps around my shoulder.
“I don’t either. Torch wouldn’t want you guys like this though.” My head snaps up as my eyes lock with hers.
“What the fuck do you know about what Torch would want?” I know I sound harsh, but it’s true.
