by KaLyn Cooper
For long moment she simply stared through the large windows at the shades of gray. Purplish clouds, filled with water, continued to empty into a green gray ocean. After looking at water all over the world during her years in the Navy, Teagan had come to know its moods. Today, just like yesterday, it was punishingly angry, nothing more than a reminder that humans had no control over mother nature.
As her uterus squeezed hard enough to take her breath away, she, and every other woman on the planet, understood what an uncaring bitch mother nature could truly be.
Leaning to her side, she opened the next box and started to empty its contents. When she pulled out the laptop from Gabriel’s apartment office, she wondered if she could delete its contents and give it to Brann. Perhaps having something of his father’s, and having a computer of his own, might brighten the boy’s spirits. He, like everyone else in the house, was suffering from cabin fever. Perhaps something new could hold his interest.
Hitting the on button, she was surprised when it started up. She quickly checked the battery, then found the cord and plugged it in. At the white box demanding a password, she was ready to give up and say fuck it all. She started looking for the tiny hole for factory reset when the battery fell out.
Well, damn. Wasn’t that just my fucking luck.
She slid the battery back in place and restarted the machine. It opened in admin mode it asked her to set a new passcode.
What-the-fuck. Why not?
She entered her favorite because she knew she could remember it. Gabriel’s landing page automatically opened. Teagan had zero hacking skills, but she did know her way around a computer. She checked his history and clicked on a few files and found nothing interesting. She would send those to Matthew. Perhaps they meant something to the CIA.
The next file on the list opened.
Teagan sucked in a breath.
Nassar al-Jamil. She knew that name. As she read through the notes about his New Islamic State, its exact location in Iran, her blood began to boil. Why the hell had the U.S. government allowed this terrorist to continue to live?
Her friend, Mason Sinclair, had died because of this man. She had been there. Every time she thought about that night, she remembered the force of the explosion as it pushed her and Elizabeth to the ground. The scrape of course sand on her hands had hurt for days. Gabriel had helped them up and had practically carried both of them for nearly quarter of a mile.
She clearly pictured in her mind Logan and Micah running towards the three of them, cursing that one of the bombs had gone off early, causing all of them to explode.
Elizabeth’s screams had pierced through Teagan’s ringing ears. The pain of her friends’ loss still hurt. Mason had been such a great teammate and a wonderful friend to all of them. No one on the team knew for weeks that Elizabeth and Mason had been married hours before they lifted off for Syria. To lose her new husband so brutally and right in front of her, disturbed her friend for years. Then she had married that fucking asshole, Robert. When he was killed, it was not a great loss to mankind.
Teagan was thrilled that Elizabeth had found another wonderful man like Mason. Everyone on that team from a decade ago seemed to have an instant connection with Matthew. He fit into their group seamlessly, as though he’d always belonged. His love for Elizabeth, and her two children, was evident every time Teagan saw them together.
Thoughts of her friends guided her mind back to the mission. She’d been planting her bombs in the designated places, just as they had practiced over and over again before leaving for Syria. Completely focused on the placement and arming of the deadly weapons, she’d ignored the chatter through her earbud. As a pilot who flew in and out of busy airports, she’d learned to tune out everything except keywords that pertained directly to her.
Poking her head out the door, weapon to her shoulder, she looked down the iron sights from one end of the hallway to the other. It was clear. Knees bent, she stepped quietly into the next room.
The first time, she remembered hearing voices coming from the room across the hall. The words weren’t coming through her comm unit. Men were yelling at each other. At the time, she’d ignored it. Gabe and Mason could argue all they wanted. She had a job to do.
She dodged around boxes of rocket propelled grenades in her last assigned room. As she exited, she heard a noise and looked over her shoulder at the back door. One of the men stepped through to the outdoors. Since neither man was supposed to be there helping the women plant the bombs, she shrugged it off.
Even though the back door was closer, she was ordered to leave the building the same way they’d entered, what she thought of as the front door. She made her way down the short hall and through the open room where two guards lay dead. As they had practiced, Teagan followed Elizabeth into the dark of night. They hadn’t made it fifty feet before the impact of the blast threw them on their knees.
Teagan had been yanked up by her backpack.
“Run.” Gabe screamed into her ear as he grabbed Elizabeth around the waist. She was yelling and screaming something about Mason while trying to run back to the building. Gabe threw her over his shoulder and sprinted toward the rendezvous point.
So much had happened since that failed mission nearly eleven years ago.
Returning her attention to the al-Jamil file, she clicked on several links in the report. Some led to maps, infrared satellite photos, one led to a picture of the five on their team as they stood outside of the practice house. It had obviously been taken without their knowledge. It was just a random, casual shot.
Teagan stared at the picture. There was something in the way Mason stood that reminded her of Matthew. There were some similarities, same height, same build, but Matt, with his white hair and almost black mustache looked at least early fifties. She wondered if Elizabeth had been attracted to him because of those similarities.
After searching through several more files, Teagan decided the best course of action would be to copy the entire hard drive and send it to Matthew. She didn’t want to lose the operating system and programs currently installed, so she decided to use several of the microSD drives Gabriel had left in the desk drawer in his office at his apartment.
Checking each drive before she started to copy the files, she found a few more with information on them that she would just include with the package to Matthew.
Two hours later, she’d made backups, transferring all the files she felt were important onto of her terabyte microSD drive, and deleted everything as she went. Brann would have plenty of hard drive space to download any games he wanted. Since she knew nothing about videogames, they’d never interested her, she’d ask Logan to help select age-appropriate games. This was also a great excuse for her to call Elizabeth, not that she needed a reason to call her friend.
Glancing at her watch, it had been over three hours since she’d checked on the children. They rarely went over an hour without checking in with her. The child psychologist had said that was not unusual behavior and once they become more comfortable with her and Logan, those time spans would naturally increase.
It had been far too long. She practically flew down the spiral iron staircase. Glancing into Brann’s room, she found him on his bed, headphones over his ears, smiling at a video.
Relief started to wash through her. One down, one to go.
His smile broadened when he saw her standing in his doorway. “Hey, Aunt Teagan, are you feeling any better?”
Fuck. Had she been that obvious even a seven-year-old understood her bad mood? She took a second to analyze her body. The medication and heating pad had helped, as did the mental distraction.
“Yes. I’m feeling like soft-serve ice cream. How about you?” she suggested.
“Nah, not anymore. Uncle Logan took us out to that frozen yogurt place where we get to mix our own cup and put on whatever toppings we want.” The boy swung his legs over the side of the bed and eagerly told her, “I had chocolate and peanut butter and birthday cake ice cream with
ground up chocolate cookies and gummy bears on top. I put some strawberries on it too ‘cuz you’re always telling us that we need to eat healthy.”
The sincerity in his youthful face almost made her laugh. Just to give him a hard time, she asked, “Why didn’t anyone invite me?”
“Uncle Logan said we had to let you have some alone time since he’d been so busy at work and you had to take care of us day and night.” Brann screwed up his face. “He said it was his turn to be the parent.”
Teagan burst out laughing.
Brann looked as though he’d said something wrong and might cry at any minute. She rushed into the room and hugged him to her.
“Neither you, nor Uncle Logan, did anything wrong.” She kissed the top of his head. “Matter-of-fact, you both did everything right.” She gave him a mock scowl. “Except bring me home some chocolate yogurt with lots of awesome toppings.”
The little boy beamed up at her. “Uncle Logan made a special yogurt just for you and we brought it home and put it in the freezer. Want me to go get it?”
Fuck, yes. If the boy wanted to wait on her hand and foot, she’d let him. At what age could she teach Brann to pour wine? “Thank you, I’d really like that.”
As he tore down the hall, she wandered out of his bedroom and over to Anora’s. The little girl was sitting on the floor next to Logan, one of his long legs stretched out, the other balancing a large tablet, their backs against the bed.
“What you think about this place?” They both stared intently at the screen.
“Let’s look at the kids’ menu.” Anora seemed very interested.
“Oh, look, they have miniature hamburgers, grilled cheese sandwiches, shrimp poppers, and your favorite, chicken tenders and macaroni and cheese.” Hope wound through Logan’s voice.
“Uncle Logan, mac and cheese is what we eat at home. If you’re taking me out for special dinner, I want to eat something special. I’ll order the hamburger. Or the shrimp poppers.” The little girl sounded so serious that Teagan had to step out in the hallway and giggle quietly.
“How about we make an on the spot decision?” Logan suggested. “Do you have a pretty dress to wear?”
As soon as Anora stood up, Teagan was spotted.
“Aunt Teagan, Uncle Logan is taking me out on a date tomorrow night. Just him and me. To a real adult restaurant. Want to help me pick out a pretty dress?” The joy in the child’s eyes was more than Teagan had ever hoped for.
“Absolutely.” She entered the room and Logan stood in one smooth movement.
As she walked past him, he brushed her arm with his hand. “Feeling better?”
Brann bounced into the room with a dish of chocolate ice cream covered in chocolate sauce and chocolate cookies. There was also a slice of strawberry. Just one.
“Here you go, Aunt Teagan. We all helped make it.” He handed it to her with pride.
“I am now.” After stuffing a big scoop of chocolate into her mouth, she kissed Logan’s cheek as she headed for Anora’s closet.
“Come on, Brann.” Logan called as he headed for the door. “I’m sure we can find a baseball game or an action video to watch while the ladies deal with dresses.” He turned back around and kneeled in front of Anora. “I’ll pick you up at six o’clock. It’s not nice to keep your date waiting, so you be ready, okay?”
Anora dramatically bobbed her head up and down. Then, to everyone’s surprise, she threw herself into Logan’s arms and gave him a tight hug. “Thank you, Uncle Logan. I’ll be ready.”
He kissed the little girl on the forehead before he stood and looked at Teagan. “We’ll talk later.”
“Okay,” she managed around a mouthful of chocolate deliciousness. Her mood was improving by leaps and bounds.
Fifteen minutes later, the perfect dress hanging on the closet doorknob, white patent leather shoes and frilly socks set out, Teagan was living vicariously through her goddaughter. This is what she had always imagined having a daddy would be like. There had never been a father figure in her life. It had only ever been her and her mother.
When she’d suggested to Logan that he spend more time with Anora, she had no idea that he would choose to take her out and treat her like a princess. She’d hoped for batting lessons, playing catch with her, or letting her beat him at one of her board games. His choice went far beyond her expectations.
“It’s perfect,” Teagan declared as they left Anora’s pink bedroom with the pink flamingo decal on the wall, the pink flamingo pillow, and the pink flamingo bedspread that covered the pink polka dotted sheets. Anora was definitely a girly girl, and that was just fine with Teagan. She could be anything she wanted to be.
Taking her dirty dish to the sink, she rinsed it, and placed it in the dishwasher before throwing in a bag of microwave popcorn. Joining the others, she snuggled under the blankets next to Logan. They’d turned down the lights in the living room to better see the large television, so when Logan found her bare arm and started stroking it, the children couldn’t see anything.
Teagan could certainly feel it though. His warm hand sent heat rushing through her body. As he caressed up her bicep, he ran his thumb over the top curve of her breast. Swollen and tender as they were every month during that time, sex was the last thing in the world that interested her.
She closed the few inches between their heads and whispered in his ear. “This isn’t a good time.”
“I know.” He dropped his hand over her uterus and massaged. His fingers kneading the area felt like heaven.
“Kember used to have bad cramps.” He answered her question before she was able to ask.
Teagan wasn’t sure how she felt about him using techniques on her that he learned with his ex-wife, then she thought about things she’d learned from former lovers that she’d consider using on him…if and when they finally got naked. But they needed to talk first.
The movie was only half over, but it was bedtime. Brann protested a little as Logan carried a sleepy Anora up the stairs. They had the children into bed within fifteen minutes and reconvened on the couch.
“Are you okay with me taking Anora on a date?” Logan asked as he handed her a glass of wine, a beer in his other hand.
She couldn’t hold back her smile. “I think it’s a wonderful idea. And I love the fact that you allowed her to pick the restaurant.”
His sideways glance was filled with guilt. “I only showed her certain restaurants. I’d already narrowed down her options.” He pulled her in close. “Put your feet up on the couch and lay back on me.”
She did as he instructed and his hand immediately fell on her lower abdomen. Applying the perfect amount of pressure, he rubbed back and forth. Teagan wondered if this was something all husbands did for achy wives. She had no clue. Growing up without a father meant she’d never seen the interaction between her mother and a man who stayed around long enough to create that closeness.
“While Anora and I are out on our date, that gives you the perfect opportunity to spend one-on-one time with Brann.” Logan’s heat emanated through her back where it touched his chest and from his hand. She could fall asleep surrounded by him.
“No problem, I’ll just let him beat me at video games.” She thought about another minute. “He loves shrimp and fish. Maybe I’ll take him to a seafood restaurant down at Surf City.”
“This weekend, you and I are going out to dinner.” Logan brushed a kiss across her temple. “I’ve wanted to take you out since we were in DC.”
“We need to talk about this date.” She rolled to face him. She needed to make sure they were thinking the same thing. If not, the next fourteen years could be a living hell for her. “You said you weren’t seeing anyone special, and neither am I. I don’t think it’s a good idea for either of us to bring another person into the situation, not for a while, anyway.” She stared into his eyes, hoping he agreed.
When he didn’t say anything, she continued, “I don’t want to put any more stress on the children by introducing mor
e people into their lives just when they’re getting used to you and me.”
Damn. Still no indication as to whether he agreed or not. “I think the idea of us dating is a good one. And if it leads to…more…I’m okay with that too. I don’t know how long it’s going to take for the four of us to be comfortable enough with each other that you and I could resume dating others. Hell, it could be years. But I can tell you that I don’t want to go that long without a man.”
Logan’s grin was not exactly an answer.
She waited. When he said nothing, she marched on. “I want to make it perfectly clear, though, that I’m not looking for commitment. I’m not interested in getting married, and I don’t want to have kids…well, except for Brann and Anora.” Oh, hell. She was fucking this up. Time to shut her mouth.
“You done?” He finally asked.
“Yes.” At least until he answered her.
“Let me get this straight. Because of the children, you don’t want either of us dating anyone else, but you and I dating would be fine.” Logan’s grin widened. “And more is okay too.”
Damn. He summed up everything into sentences. “Yes,” she confirmed.
“Unmarried, parents, with benefits,” he clarified.
Now he condensed it into four words. “Exactly.” She didn’t want to tie Logan down forever, so she added, “For now.” She wanted to leave him an out. Once they had established a routine, and the child psychologist thought the children could handle another change, then they could start dating others again.
“Monogamous, of course.” He defined.
“Definitely.” She understood why he needed to add that clause into their verbal agreement. She had no plans of seeing anyone else while dating Logan and she didn’t want him fucking anybody else but her.
“Agreed. Let’s seal the deal with a kiss.” He wrapped his hand around the back of her head and pulled her to him. The kiss started out gentle, soft, tender, but soon took on a life of its own, filled with need.
